Darkness Before the Dawn
by Raidiance
Summary: An alternative story to Breaking Dawn, picking up where Eclipse left off. Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.
1. Going Forward

**DARKNESS BEFORE THE DAWN**

"_Let me not to the marriage of true mindsAdmit impediments. Love is not loveWhich alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,That looks on tempests and is never shaken;It is the star to every wandering bark,Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeksWithin his bending sickle's compass come;Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,But bears it out even to the edge of doom.If this be error and upon me proved,I never writ, nor no man ever loved."_

_William Shakespeare, The Sonnets, 116_

1. Going Forward

It was familiar. My dreams were always familiar, like a novel that you read repeatedly. However, unlike turning the page and knowing what you would read next, I never seemed to get comfortable with my dreams. Like the sound of a clock's chime when you know you have an appointment you would rather not keep. It might be very musical, almost enjoyable, but with some unwelcome impending event looming over your head, the chime becomes brass, and sharp; irritating rather than pleasant.

This dream was like my others, familiar, but confusing. I found myself in the meadow, "our" meadow. The one where, Edward and I had declared ourselves to each other. Our relationship was "young" in terms of time and convention. However, neither Edward nor I saw us as young or conventional. My mother once told me that I was born 35 years old. I never quite understood what she meant by that, until I came to forks to live with my dad. Until I met Edward, who like me, was an _old_ soul, in a young body. The difference was, he was a _much _older soul than I was, but now was also younger. Being a vampire, Edward was not aging. Being perpetually 17, I had now passed him in age by over a year, having celebrated my eighteenth birthday, and getting close to my nineteenth.

My last birthday was an event I tried very hard to eliminate from my memory; the birthday, and the chain of events that it set into motion. The worst being Edward's self-sacrificing attempt at leaving me for my own good, after his vampire brother Jasper tried to kill me. My separation from Edward was the darkest, most painful time of my life, and one that I knew I could not endure again. Had it not been for my best friend Jacob Black, I would not have survived the first time.

Jacob was another point of pain that although I might like to forget, I would not let myself. His pain, pain that I was responsible for, was real and ongoing. Pain that he, in a desperate attempt to escape, had fled the company of both his family and me. As part of my penance for that pain, I would endure my own, by keeping him safe and present in my memory. Especially the day I confirmed to him, that I had chosen Edward over him.

The truth, a truth that I had tried, but could not make Jacob see, was that there never was any choice; not for me. Forcing myself to remember the pain of that day was the least, and a very pitiful amount, that I could do for my best friend and my lost _other love_. That fact that he was a werewolf seemed fitting in this odd existence of mine. During Edward's self-imposed exile from my life, Jacob had held me together when it seemed I would break into pieces from grief. In the darkness of my despair, he was _my personal sun_, as I had once thought of him. I had in fact considered trading my one true love, for my other love, Jacob's love. I considered trying to attempt to be happy for Jacob's sake rather than for myself. However, fate had other plans; plans which included meeting the controlling coven of the vampire world; The Volturi. Plans which also set me as the catalyst in a war which pitted Edward and his family along with Jacob and his werewolf brothers, against a wild out of control newborn vampire army.

The leader of this army Victoria, in her attempt at getting revenge against Edward for killing her mate James, was a revelation in many ways. First, it brought me to the realization that I could never live without Edward. Of that, I thought I was already sure, but when faced with a choice between Edward and Jacob, I knew without reservation or equivocation what that choice had to be; what it always had to be. Second, because I could not live without Edward, I could not stay human; not just, because I was aging, but also because I was physically vulnerable. My near death experiences with the Volturi, Victoria, and most especially James, confirmed the necessity of me becoming a vampire like Edward. Within Edward's own family, I was vulnerable. The Cullen's moral choice to live on animal blood instead of human blood was a discipline, not a proclivity. Jasper's attack on my birthday was proof of that. Thirdly, Victoria's attack revealed the truly tyrannical, sinister, and unstable nature of the Volturi and their minions.

In my dream however, in our cherished meadow, these things seemed very far away. Yet, somehow, they were not. They were there, in every flower, every tree, and every blade of grass. Nevertheless, I did not worry about those things as I looked across the meadow, and over its expanse saw Edward blazon in the sun. The prisms of his skin, shot out rainbow colored rays, which seemed to direct themselves at me, engulfing me, pulling me closer to his waiting arms. Those waiting arms were one of the most compelling things in my world. Icy cold to the touch, they sparked fire in my body every time he held me. As I moved forward toward him, he smiled my crooked smile. The smile that revealed the hopeful seventeen year old boy that stilled lived within the heart of the hundred and six year old vampire.

As I continued my journey towards him, my heart wanted nothing more than to be in his embrace, but my body felt bombarded with a feeling of foreboding. I felt as though something was watching us, that this meadow of private sanctity was being breached by a terrible presence. As I continued to move forward to Edward, I began to look around, peering through the darkness beyond the trees which lined the perfect circle of the meadow. I saw nothing, but I _felt something_.

I felt the presence all around, and yet invisible. It was angry, and envious. It was scheming, grasping and deadly. Yet, it was only a feeling, nothing tangible, but with every step, I took toward Edward it seemed to grow in oppressing strength. I was afraid, and I did not know why. I wanted to scream out of confusion, and desperation. What was it? Where was it coming from? Was it yet another obstacle trying to prevent us from being together?

Having weathered so many obstacles to our relationship already, I felt we had been through enough. Edward and I had both suffered grief in our relationship. Edward himself had suffered with the thought of his selfishness in pursuing me. After all, what could come of his relationship with me? He had struggled with not giving into his nature and killing me for the blood in my veins that tempted him more than any other. The attempts on my life, the danger to the Cullen's, Charlie, Jacob and the Quillayutes, had all resulted from our ill-advised love for each other. I had suffered grief of the most acute kind, when Edward left. I felt as though a large hole had been torn through my center, and it remained raw and painful. I shuddered at the thought. After going through all of that, was a happy ending too much to ask for?

With all of my reasoning, I tried to push the presence out of the meadow. It remained, haunting, and heavy. I began to panic, but then I saw Edward's eyes. Full of love and conviction, they were all I needed. I was almost within reach of his arms, secure, and happy, when Edward dropped his arms almost in despair, and his eyes changed. They looked confused, they looked painful, and they looked sad. The ancient sadness I had seen before. Sadness that caused him pain that, I would give my own life from which to save him. I wondered at the change in his eyes. Had he felt the invading presence too? I circled the meadow again with my gaze, still I saw nothing; I only felt it. I looked back to Edward, and his gaze met mine again, he crossed his arms, closed his eyes in pain, and turned away from me. I was desperate; I did not know what to do. Why had he turned away from me? It was then that I realized he had seen something in my face; something that caused him sadness: something that caused him pain. I felt my own familiar pain returning, raw and savage. I wanted Edward, but his stance told me he did not want me; I began to shake.


	2. Preparations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

2. Preparations

It was not until I woke to Edwards gentle shaking, and soft voice murmuring to me that it was ok, I was safe, that I realized I was crying in my sleep. As I realized the coolness of his arms around me, I felt the desperation leaving, replaced with the unbelievable feeling of love and safety I always felt in his arms. Strange, that I should have this dream, the night before our wedding. I believed it was another creation of my wild subconscious; that it was not real. However, what I had come to realize with my dreams was that there were seeds of truth in them; bits of real things. I believed I would see seeds of truth in my minds latest offering manifested someway at some point. I wondered if extreme dreaming would be a helpful ability after I was changed. The thought did not bring me comfort.

I tried to figure out what real things I was seeing in my dream. I knew that it had to do with me, but that was all. As I began to scrutinize things, the voice that was "the most significant sound in my world," to quote its owner, spoke; "A bad dream?" He asked.

I nodded without speaking, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

I shook my head, and nuzzled closer to his chest. "It's nothing," I said. As I put everything but him out of my mind, he spoke again.

"Bella" he said in a very serious tone, a tone that I had come to recognize and fear in the past. A tone that, sounded like he was about to do something for my own good.

I immediately pulled myself out of his arms to look at his face. If I allowed myself to give into my emotions more, I might be reduced to tears every time I looked at him. His face was perfect, symmetrical, otherworldly, and so beautiful, that my insecurity got the better of me. How could Edward really be satisfied with me? In my mind, no amount of vampire venom could make me into the counterpart he truly deserved. I quickly forgot that inequity, as I looked into his honey-amber eyes that seemed to spill over with what I could only interpret as regret. As I looked at him, he seemed to sense what was going through my mind. Even though mine was the one mind on the planet whose thoughts he could not access, he had become very good at guessing what I was thinking.

He pulled me into his arms again, and kissed me until I forgot everything including my name. "Um…did…you…um want to ask me something?" I asked in short breaths.

"Yes" he said smiling.

"Allowing myself a moment to recover, I said, "OK, you were saying?"

He laughed a little, before his serious face returned, and he continued. "You know that today, is the fulfillment of my dreams. And I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found you; to have you become my wife".

He stopped, his eyes never leaving mine, but put his hands on both sides of my face. "But Bella, if there is any doubt or reservation in your mind that this is not the right choice for you; if for any reason you don't want to go through with today, I will understand. Today is not set in stone, no matter what Alice has said to the contrary. I only want your happiness Bella, even if it is not with me. It is still the most important thing in the world to me."

He kissed me again, softer, more tenderly than before. He let his hands drop to his lap and continued to stare into my eyes. Even if I were not already so sure of myself, I still would have found it impossible to disappoint him, looking into his eyes and seeing the pain and suffering he was already needlessly suffering. That suffering was a reminder of my own, during the time we were apart. The _hole_ that his absence had left in me had healed with his return, but it had left an internal scar. A reminder of what I would suffer again if he ever were not part of my life. I had just suffered that pain again, and though it was only in a dream, it made it all too real for me.

I took his pale hands in mine, and looked deeper into his eyes and said with all the truth and conviction of my heart, "Edward, you are the only thing in this world that I want, that I need, that I can never live without. I _will_ marry you; I _will_ spend the rest of my life with you, not only because it is _my_ heart's desire, but because it is the only way I can live in this world or any other".

My voice was calm and even, and yet it began to break with emotion and truth of my own words. "I have no doubt, and no reservations. I love you Edward.

As I stared into his eyes, tears again slowly streaming down my face, the pain in his eyes was gone, replaced with an unfathomable look of love and contentment. He held me as I let my emotions take over, and cried what I knew would not be the last tears of the day.

"I don't deserve you Bella," he whispered, "I truly do not deserve you."

After a few more minutes, Edward, finally, reluctantly, took his leave to go and prepare for the wedding. He would be getting an earful from Alice later, as she had been insisting on observing every wedding tradition in the book. Nevertheless, Edward and I had decided that we would spend the last night before our wedding together, as had been our tradition almost since the beginning of our relationship. I knew she would soon be at my doorstep with disappointed, disbelieving looks. Seeing as I had given in to almost all her demands concerning the wedding, I felt entitled to take a few liberties. I smiled at the thought that I had literally _eternity_ to get her back.

As I finished with my shower and waited for Alice, I began to look around the little room in Charlie's house that had been so much a part of my life. I began to feel a sense of loss, assuming I would never set foot here again. My few pieces of clothing and belongings that I would be taking with me had been packed and ready to go for days. I had transferred my suitcases to the Cullen's home, where the ceremony and reception would be held. Considering the limited options Forks had to offer, and wanting to keep under the vampire safe cloud cover of the area, the Cullen's massive home with its park-like grounds, seemed the logical place to hold the event. Then I thought of Charlie. My father who had done so much for me in his way: had shown me how much he loved me. My memory wandered back to that fateful day when, had it not been for Edward, Tyler Crowley's van would have decided my fate. Before the event that would start me on the journey of discovering what Edward and his family really were, I had been moved by the simple act of Charlie putting snow chains on my tires. He did not make a fuss about it; he just put them on without a word. It was his way, and I knew I would miss it.

Then my thoughts turned to my mom; simple, light hearted René who seemed more like a sister than my mother. I had already lost so much time with René after moving here to Forks. Except unlike Charlie, René had Phil to help her through my absence. Charlie had always been a loner since my mom's departure from him and their marriage when I was a baby. I knew that Charlie would morn my absence very deeply. It was one point of regret that I knew I would have a hard time dealing with. So much so, that I decided, I would do everything in my power to make this day as happy for him as I possibly could.

Alice arrived to take Charlie and me to the Cullen's, and of course, I had to suffer with her complaints about the groom not seeing the bride before the ceremony. I reminded her that he had not seen the dress, and that he would still have that experience. Being satisfied with that thought, she forgave me.

"Just promise me" she pleaded, "not to spoil any more of my plans."

Despite my abhorrence to all things wedding-ish, I smiled at my maid of honor, held up my hand in obedience, and swore my undying allegiance to the wedding plans. She smiled in spite of herself, hugged me tighter than a bear trap, and promised she would make it all up to me, some century or another. Alice had been like one possessed, with the wedding plans. She had decided that she would create such an occasion beyond anything ever seen in Forks. I imagined that the entire state of Washington would probably marvel at her offering. I shuddered to think of the humiliations I was about to suffer!

Charlie came down the stairs, in jeans and flannel shirt, with a look of uncertainty.

"Hey Alice, how are you hon?" he asked.

Despite the period of time when Charlie would have rather I joined a cult than spend any time with Edward, he had developed a true affection for Alice. Her genuinely kind and disarming demeanor, had worked its charm on Charlie early on. Despite his distaste for the day's proceedings, he was truly glad to see her.

There was of course, the usual father-of-the-bride complaint, even for Charlie.

"Alice was it necessary for me to wear a tux? I have perfectly good suit upstairs.

"Charlie that suit is older than Bella," Alice said, I struggled not to laugh.

"Ok, ok," he allowed, "but was a good idea not to have me try the tux on? It's bad enough to have to wear one, but being trussed up in some foreign job that chokes me, is going to be torture!"

Alice contained her amusement as she said, "Charlie I measured you myself, and _I know _it will fit like a glove!" Only she and I knew the true meaning of those words.

On the ride over to the Cullen's, Alice and Charlie talked about the wedding, and ceremony, the food, and all things in between. Distracted by my thoughts I might have otherwise joined in. I watched them, thinking about Charlie, and the few hours I had left with him. Saying goodbye to my father was not something I was looking forward to doing. Charlie and I had become close in the two years since I had come to live with him. We of course had had our disagreements, mostly concerning Edward; but I had come to care deeply for my father, more than I had thought possible.

As we neared the Cullen's private road, another face came into my mind, Jacob…_my_ Jacob. The term sent currents of guilt through my body. I had no right to call him that. I who had put him through so much pain, who had driven him from his home and his family; but I was still selfish when it came to Jacob Black. My feelings, my genuine love for Jacob had not diminished. However, I had finally put it in its proper place. What I really wanted was my friend. The kind-hearted 15 year-old I had met on First Beach at La Push. The beautiful copper skinned boy with the silky black hair, and infectious smile, who was so full of hope and laughter, and was so easy to like; so easy to love. I knew that that boy was gone forever.

The realities of what Jacob was; the werewolf legacy passed down to him from his fathers, had replaced the boy with an older, wiser, and hardened version of Jacob. If that had not been bad enough my choosing Edward over him, sealed away _my_ Jacob forever. Still I longed for him. I wished with all my heart that I could somehow make it up to him. I knew I never could. It was a pain I would have to endure with him, my penance, I reminded myself. I then reminded myself that today was for Edward and I would try only to think of him today.

As Alice busied herself with preparing _the bride_, I began to ponder her earlier words…some century or another. What would it be like to live such a long time? To spend centuries with Edward, to experience all that we would together. What _did_ our future hold? I began to think about the immediate future, my wedding night. I did not know if Alice noticed, but my cheeks became flushed with the thought of my one human experience I had insisted on having. Making love with Edward or trying to at least, had been the bargaining chip for this day's whole affair. I was not sure how it would turn out, but was crazed with the thought of it. I knew I had to keep myself in check, or pass out with anticipation. I distracted myself by looking at Edward's wedding ring. It had belonged to his father. It was a simple gold band; simple but to my eyes exquisitely beautiful, just like Edward. It was one of the pieces left to him by his human parents. The inside of the ring was engraved with one word: "Forever." I could not help thinking how true, how fitting that word was for Edward and I. Quickly I put the ring back in its box, knowing I would soon be in tears, and would spoil my face.

I began to look at myself in the mirror. I had told myself that I would not complain about anything Alice did for me or _to_ me today. As I looked at my face, I realized that Alice had done what I thought could never be done. She had transformed me into a _beautiful_ bride. My make-up not over stated truly enhanced my face. She seemed to choose the perfect colors for my complexion, my eyes, and my hair. The hair she took great pains with, enduring my complaints without flinching. I began to scrutinize her efforts. My hair was pulled up around to the top of my head, with soft falling tresses framing my face. There was just a hint of curl, with a very decidedly _Victorian_ flare. It was not the Anne of Green Gables style as I had imagined but more a modern version of it. I suddenly realized it was perfect, and I loved it. It was still me, but a _bridal_ me. Renee' had flown in with Phil, and had assisted Alice with everything; enjoying the full mother of the bride experience without raining on Alice's parade. She had finally retreated to save Phil from having to talk to a bunch of strangers.

Looking in a full-length mirror at my dress, I realized how much love and thought Alice had put into everything. Overcome with emotion, and despite my best efforts, the tears began to spill just a little. "Oh…no…you…don't!" Alice cried, skipping to my side with tissue and the proper make-up in case a touch up was necessary. "You can at least hold it together until the ceremony Bella!"

With the most convincing look of contrition I could muster, I composed myself, and began to gather the cascading bouquet of crimson stargazer lilies and white orchids, when my thoughts began to focus on the part of my future that most concerned me, the process of my becoming a vampire. I knew it was what I wanted, what I had to do. I knew that it was the only logical course for me to stay with Edward. Knowing it would be Edward himself that would change me, made it more bearable. I believed, and I knew probably mistakenly so, that if it was Edward, it would somehow be less terrifying, and perhaps less painful. Edward had mentioned that Carlisle would try to lesson the pain with morphine. But since none of them had had any experience with someone who was willingly choosing to go through the change, it was all conjecture as to how I would react, and what good if any the morphine would do.

Alice, scrutinizing my face for any damage my tears might have done, seemed to sense I was ruminating about something.

"What is it Bella" she asked with concern.

Knowing I needed to talk about it, I began…" I'm thinking about the change Alice." She looked at me with an apprehensive eye. "Don't worry Alice," I assured her, "I have never been more ready to do anything in my life. I am more ready to do that, than walk down the aisle. I am wondering though about how it will feel, how I will feel. I think if I can see Edward's face, hear his voice, know that he's with me it might not be so bad. What if I couldn't see him or hear him though? I have to admit, that thought frightens me more than the pain Alice."

She looked into my eyes and said, "We will all be there to help you through it Bella." Hugging me very gently she continued, "I can't see everything Bella, but I do see you changed, and with Edward. I have never seen anything else in your future. I know that whatever you have to endure to get there you will. And whatever we can do to help you, we will." Her words gave me such comfort all I could do was hug my sister.


	3. Last Minute Observations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

3. Last Minute Observations

As the hour approached, I had to laugh as I thought about a condemned man walking the last mile. I kept that little joke to myself. I looked at the Cullen's home, and how Alice had transformed it into what could only be described as a chapel. The large open main room swam with flowers, as though it were a scene from a lavish movie. The flowers had been done by a well-known florist from Los Angeles, who rumor had it, had created the floral arrangements for the televised wedding of a famous reality show couple. Intricately beautiful swags and cornices of fresh flowers, ribbons and crystals lined the wedding aisle and adorned the windows, so that I felt the scene would have put St Peter's Basilica to shame. The aisle had been created with white silk upholstered benches, which resembled ornate church pews. The flowers had a strangely beautiful but familiar color. I realized that there were hints of topaz in the flowers. No doubt, Alice had gathered information on my favorite color and gemstone from Edward. It would explain how she chose the gold and topaz headpiece for my veil as well. The colors so enhanced the natural beauty of the Cullen's home, I felt at any moment, photographers from Better Homes and Gardens would pop up! The staircase was similarly adorned, and a hand painted runner was placed from the top to the bottom of the stairs, where it ran into a seamless curve to front of the aisle where a white, wrought iron pulpit stood. The runner was painted with delicately winding vines of greens and browns, with amber roses intertwined. The intricate flowers and cherubs adorning the pulpit, reminded me somewhat of the bed Edward had placed in his room for me. Candles lined the aisle along with the flowers, and created a soft, amber light that finished the effect.

A nighttime wedding seemed the most logical thing, given that the host family would have been just a bit conspicuous if the day had turned uncustomary and the sun appeared. The effect of the decorations had begun at the mouth of the usually benign road to the house. Normally, it appeared unimpressive, and a bit overgrown. Easy to miss for those who didn't know it was there. When we arrived that day with Alice, Charlie and I were dumbfounded at the transformation. Alice had impressed us with the roads décor for the graduation party, but now she had definitely outdone herself. At the mouth of the road, a large arch, decorated with white lanterns and the same beautiful flowers as the house, welcomed the cars passing under it. The entire length of the road was alight with white, silk-wrapped posts, with the same white lanterns atop them. Strung from post to post, were floral swags, so thick with flowers, ribbons and iridescent crystals, I didn't know how the posts could hold them up. The crystals swaying with the breeze sparkled, and gave the road a magical dance of light. As we approached the house, we saw a neatly groomed parking area for the guests. Two attendants at the parking area were waiting to relieve the arriving guests of their cars for the evening. They were professionally dressed, and looked down to business. Probably imports from Seattle. Across from the elaborately, similarly decorated entrance to the house, was a series of several huge connected silk tents. No doubt, they contained all the necessary elements of a fairytale wedding reception.

Throughout the house, from some mysterious source, delicate piano music played, and as I listened and took in the general splendor of it all, and reminded myself that I loved Alice, and did appreciate her efforts, a warm hand touched my shoulder.

"Hey Be…" As I turned around Charlie stopped short. He was so handsome in the tuxedo Alice had ordered him, I scarcely knew him. He looked at me for what seemed like an eternity.

"Wow…I…you…are…so beautiful kiddo." His voice cracked at that last word, and he stopped for a moment with his head down. "Bells" he began again, "I can't tell you how much you remind me of your mom right now. You know I've never really gotten over losing her. I wish I had been better for her. But she's happy now, and that's what's important. It's a lesson I learned the hard way you might say. I want you to know how much I love you. I know I have not always been thrilled about you and Edward. And to tell you the truth, I don't know if I will ever fully be ok with him. There just something about him Bells that disturbs me, I don't know why."

He looked off into nothing, as though he were trying to solve a riddle.

"But" he continued, "I know that he makes you happy and I've seen how you are without him. Therefore, I want you to know, that I am behind you all the way. And if you, either of you ever need anything, you can count on me. You believe that don't you Bells?"

I looked at the face of my father. A face that, I would conceivably never see again after this night I suddenly was acutely aware of one of the things I was giving up to be with Edward. I suddenly felt the full force of the consequence of that decision and I began to remember the grief of my dream.

My face must have shown the full emotion of my thoughts, for at that moment, my father hugged me with more ferocity and emotion than he had ever done in my life. Tears began to flow from both of us. In the corner of my eye, I saw Réne, who was crying as well. She came to us, and hugged us both. For the briefest of moments, we were a family. The family we might have been in another time, another life. A fulfillment of a sort, and one was worth it.

Charlie looked at my mother with tears in his usually stoic eyes and said, "I'm sorry Réne honey. I'm sorry I let you down all those years ago. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed, but I'm not sorry you took Bella when you did. You did an incredible job with her Réne. I will always be grateful to you for Bella."

My mother looked at my father with a look that resembled the look she had on her face in their wedding picture. I realized she had always loved my father despite herself. Not a love that you could keep a marriage together with; but one that would keep Charlie forever in her heart for the rest of her life. I suddenly saw in my mother's face a look that was familiar to me. It looked like my face felt when I thought about Jacob. My life resembled my parents so much more than I thought possible.

"She so much more you than me, Charlie" my mom said. "I think we can both take credit for her."

My father's face lit up at my mom's admission. It was a moment I would always cherish in my memory. Edward had said that after the change, human memories faded, but I made a solemn vow, that this memory I would always keep within my heart.

As Charlie composed himself, and left to go prepare to walk me down the aisle, my mother began. "You are where you should be Bella, with Edward. I want you to know that. I never really knew where you belonged until I saw the two of you together, even though I didn't understand it at first. It even disturbed me, but I feel that you have always belonged together; like it was fate or something. I don't know how to explain it any better than that. Promise me you'll remember your dad and me Bella, alright?" I froze as my mother said those words. I tried to think of something to say, but grief nearly overtook me again, when she finished by saying, "I know you'll be busy on your honeymoon, getting to know each other. But don't forget to write and call us ok? You may be a married woman after tonight, but you're still our little girl." The pre-cursor music began to drift upstairs. Réne smiled her child-like grin, hugged me and said, "Your father was right sweetheart, you are beautiful! See you downstairs, I love you." She then retreated downstairs to be escorted in by Phil. Watching my mother walk away from me, I was again hit with the realization of our eternal separation that would come soon. I ducked into Carlisle's study, and quietly cried.


	4. Man and Wife

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

4. Man and Wife

Alice who had observed the scene with my parents, and had given us our privacy, found me in the study, and hugged me until I was calm. She looked at me, and said "just look at you, you're lucky I'm good with the mascara!"

I was doing my best to stay dry eyed and sit still as she applied my repair make-up, when there was a small rap at the door.

"Oh no Edward, not a chance" she said loudly.

"Alice," I could detect the subtle anger in his voice, "I need to talk to Bella!"

"No", Alice seemed like she was becoming desperate.

"It's ok Alice" I said. "I can talk to him through the door, ok?" Alice seemed happy with that idea, and Edward agreed. Alice took one final look at my face, kissed my cheek, and said "Still beautiful," then skipped to the door. She looked back and said, "Five minutes until I send Charlie up ok?" I nodded, and she ducked out the door.

As I approached the door, Edward began. "I heard everything through Charlie and Réne Bella. I'm so sorry that you have to choose. But you know you can still make a different choice." His voice was riddled with both guilt and fear. Guilt that he was forcing my hand, and fear that I would take him at his word, and choose _differently_! I knew that he was only trying to console me, and be kind, but it got my anger up, and I couldn't stop myself.

"Is that what your really want Edward?" I yelled. "Do you not want to marry me anymore? Is that why you keep bringing this up? Are you looking for a way out? If you are just say so, and I'll make it easy for you!"

I didn't realize I was beginning to get hysterical. The sudden thought of not being with him, threatened to tear open the internal scar. I must have begun to breathe very heavy, because his voice was suddenly frantic, trying to calm me, "Bella, love, no!" I want nothing more than to marry you, and spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity with you!"

I answered him a little less angry, "Then why can't you accept it when I tell you that that is what I want too?"

He was silent for a moment, then answered me. "I can accept that Bella, I do accept that. I just felt such sorrow from you through your parent's minds that it hurt me too much to bear without giving you the choice again. I'm sorry sweetheart, I will never mention it again, I swear. You are all that I want, and that you feel that way too, just makes me want you more. Please marry me Bella, please."

Relief washed over me as I knew we would not be separated again. I felt guilt about being angry with him today that I wanted to fling the door open and throw myself into the arms that I loved. But I remembered Alice, and said "Of course I will marry you silly. Isn't that why we're here in all this floral chaos? Besides if we don't go through with it now, Alice will probably kill us both!"

He laughed a weak, but relieved laugh, and I found my composure was complete.

I leaned my face against the door and said, "Wait for me downstairs, I'll be there in a minute, I love you Edward."

The words "I love you too," drifted through the door, and he was gone.

As I emerged from the study, Charlie was waiting nervously at the top of the stairs. "Oh, there you are Bells" he said, "I was wondering if I was going to have send out a search party." He laughed a nervous laugh, and I joined in. As Claire de Lune began to play, Alice looked up at me with a smile and a nod, began her walk down the aisle.

At the planned point, Charlie said, "Ok Bells, here we go."

We began our slow decent down the stairs. I had originally chided Alice for putting me, a renowned klutz, in such a precarious position. But she assured me that I would do fine, as long as I held on to Charlie. She was right. As Charlie and I came around the corner to face the aisle, I saw Edward waiting for me, with Jasper by his side. Although Emmett had volunteered to get a license to marry us, we opted for the minister of the church that Charlie was a member of…in theory.

Emmett sat beside Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie. Rosalie had said very little to me over the last few weeks. Her strong opinion against my becoming a vampire was not a secret. She was angry at me for my decided lifestyle change. She had been conspicuously missing from the wedding planning, and hadn't spoken to me at all that day. I wondered if my other sister would ever accept me.

I was amazed at how many people were attending this _little_ affair. I couldn't be sure, but I thought it had to be in the two hundreds at least. I wondered; did we even know that many people here in forks? I leaned over to Charlie and whispered, "Did Alice invite the whole town?"

Charlie looking like he was about to burst into peals of laughter whispered "I think she did actually."

I counted to ten and remembered again I had _eternity_ to get her back, and waited for the music to start.

As the processional music started, the guests rose and turned towards us. I immediately recognized the music; Edward's lullaby, _my_ lullaby. In the corner of the room, a small ensemble made up of a violinist, cellist, and harpist added to Edward's hauntingly beautiful composition. It felt like a fresh round of tears wanted to burst forth, but I kept them at bay, by looking at the faces on each side of us. There were those of my friends from Forks high school. Jessica and Mike had come together. Their off again, on again romance was too hard to keep up with. Ben and Angela were there, still joined at the hip, still in love. Angela had tears in her eyes, but smiled with genuine joy. I would truly miss Angela and Ben. Of all of my friends in Forks, they had turned out to be the most decent, least judgmental people that I had ever met. Many of the other friends and acquaintances, Tyler Crowley, Erik Yorkie, and the like were there as well. Missing, though not missed, was Lauren. She had never forgiven me for coming to Forks and stealing the spotlight of attention from her.

I was very surprised by the presence of Billy Black, and Sam and Emily Uley. I was surprised, especially in Sam's case, that they would come to the Cullen's home, and yet there they were. Emily and Sam had finally made their relationship official. I had always been in awe of the strong bond of love and affection they had for each other. Some might argue it was all a product of the imprinting that was unique in the werewolves. However, I knew it was not completely uncontrolled. I knew that Emily had chosen Sam. He may have had no choice, but she did. Emily's half-ruined face looked at me with concern, but with kindness as well. Some of the other guests had stared at her at first, but now no one seemed to looking at her. I smiled at them, and they smiled in return. It just made me more confused about their being there.

Feeling uncomfortable, I then kept my eyes on Edward. He was wearing a classic black tuxedo with tails that was accented in amber. The buttons of his shirt and his cufflinks were all made of topaz, the color of his eyes. The topaz tiepin held a perfectly tied white ascot, which made me think of Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. I could never imagine Darcy ever comparing to Edward.

As Charlie and I moved closer, Edward had the strangest look on his face. It wasn't sadness, but I imagined he'd be crying if he had tears to shed. He looked at me with a depth of love I had never seen in his eyes before, and in that moment I knew that marrying him was right. I would never regret giving him what he wanted. This was what I wanted too, more than I had ever realized. As Charlie and I stopped at the end of the aisle, the music ended, and Edward and the minister stepped forward. The minister welcomed everyone, and began an explanation of the importance of marriage, its institution by God, and the joyous occasion it was. As he finished he asked "who gives this woman to married?"

Charlie answered his voice almost breaking, "her mother and I."

I looked at Réne, I could see the gratitude in her eyes that my father had included her. It was another cherished memory to keep.

Charlie handed me to Edward, and said "She belongs to you now Edward, take care of her for her mother and I."

Edward looked at Charlie for a brief moment and said, "I give you my solemn vow Charlie, I will love her and take care of her, forever!"

Charlie smiled, shook Edward's hand, and sat down.

Things seemed to move so quickly of their own accord after that, the next thing I remembered was the minister saying, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I looked into the eyes of my husband, and then kissed him with all the force I could. Edward's usual reaction to my moments of unbridled passion was to gently but firmly restrain me, for my own safety. But he did not attempt to stop me now. He took me up in his arms, and kissed me back with as much passion as I gave. Although I knew, he was still holding back, at that moment it didn't matter. He was mine, I was his, and nothing could ever change that. I ignored the hundreds of eyes that were watching us, happy to continue our kiss until he was ready to stop. After what must have seemed like an eternity to the guests, I heard Charlie's low voice clearing, and Edward and I looked at the minister who gave a wry smile and said, "Family and friends, it my honor to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Mason Cullen!


	5. Celebrations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

5. Celebrations

As we started up the aisle, two things caught my eye. First, as we stopped to hug first Charlie, Renee' & Phil, and then Edward's family. I gasped to see two additional vampires sitting behind the Cullens! Two females, so beautiful, they almost rivaled Rosalie, almost. The first had a stunningly symmetrical face, with strawberry blond hair, that seemed to shimmer even though she did not move. Her features were delicate, and reminded me of an angel. The second was taller, thinner, less curvaceous, but nonetheless lovely. She had long Chestnut hair which reached down her back past her waist. She definitely had an _otherworldly_ quality about her. They smiled quickly as I looked at them, but let their smiles retreat before my eyes left them. Next, as we passed the last row of benches I saw a familiar face. At first, I couldn't place the young woman. Then as we passed her and our eyes met, I was filled with fear and confusion. It was Gianna, the beautiful human receptionist from the castle at Volterra! She smiled sweetly, her hazel green eyes sparkling behind her fashion model lashes; _still human_ I thought. I almost stopped but Edward kept a firm grasp on my arm urging me forward to the room where the photographers were waiting. The last thing I had on my mind was taking pictures, but Edward said,

"I will explain after the pictures, but we have to leave some kind of memento for Charlie and Renee right?"

I acquiesced without complaint, but I had a feeling of foreboding.

While the pictures were being taken, the guests filtered into the tent outside to await our arrival. After we finished with the last of the 100's of poses on Alice's fantasy wedding picture list, Edward and I went upstairs to his room, to take a breather. Seeing the suspicious fearful look in my eyes, Edward took me into his arms and held me for a long while. When I was perceivably calmer, he let me go and sat on the couch with me.

"So, he said slyly, how does it feel to be a Cullen?"

I crossed my arms and with a hint of sarcasm said, "Feels like old times."

Then with an accusatory tone, I hadn't intended I asked "What possible reason would there be for Gianna to be at our wedding Edward?"

His face suddenly became serious. "Bella" he said, "All I can see is that she's here to deliver a message. That's all I could see in the few moments passing her. The Volturi are aware of my ability, and obviously instructed her to keep her thoughts on one thing at a time. We knew they were watching, I just didn't think they would be this impatient. It is something I will need to discuss with the family, but we don't have to worry about it now Bella. She is hardly a threat, that's probably why they sent her. So let's just hear what she has to say."

I could see the sense in his statement, though I was filled with a gnawing apprehension about it.

"And the other two guests sitting with the family?" I asked.

"I was gong to introduce you to Tanya and Irina at the reception."

I stood straight up; "Tanya?!" I said without hiding my shock. "Tanya? As in…the Denali Tanya? _That_ Tanya?" "Yes Bella," he said, not understanding my sudden emotional outburst, "that Tanya."

"And Irina who hates the Quileutes for killing Laurent?"

"Yes." He said matter-of-factly.

I couldn't believe it, Tanya, who had set her sights on Edward when he stayed at Denali. All of my worst jealously induced fears, came rushing forward when I remembered her exquisite face. I suddenly felt very inadequate even in my wedding dress.

"Why are they here Edward?" I asked in a defeated tone.

Edward looked very carefully at me. Detecting the emotion in my voice, he gently pulled me back to my seat. "The Denali are old friends Bella; they knew about the wedding, and it would have been very rude not to invite them, though I am surprised any of them came. They do not typically leave Denali. In any case, you would have met them in Alaska. I was planning on taking you for a visit at Denali while we were there."

Edward took my hand and said, "I know it must have been a shock to see two unfamiliar vampires, and I would have told you they were here, but I didn't know until the service began."

"What about Irina?" I asked. "How smart is it to have her here with Sam?" What if she wants to get revenge for Laurent?"

"Bella" he said, "Irina would never do anything like that while she is a guest in Carlisle's home. She would not want to insult him; and since the Kate and Eleazar know that Laurent was about murder you, they would not be very forgiving towards Irina if she did. And you know as well as I do that if she were bold enough to go to La Push, she wouldn't last very long."

I knew he was right about that at least. The Quillayute werewolves _were made_ for hunting and killing vampires. Only the treaty between Jacob's great grandfather and Carlisle, kept the peace between them and the Cullens.

"Irina may wish she could revenge Laurent" he continued "but she's not about to take action alone, that might leave her homeless."

I continued to ruminate, until he took my hand and said, "Come on love let's not worry about this now. Let's just concentrate on getting through the rest of the evening, and getting to our honeymoon."

The mention of the word honeymoon, made my blood race, despite my concern about Tanya and Irina. We had decided to take a weeklong honeymoon, and then join the rest of the family for my _conversion_. Edward thought it might be a good idea to have a little extra time to allow him to keep _his_ side of our agreement. Not knowing whether we would be able to make love without him physically hurting me, was weighing heavy on his mind. Having to worry about the deadline for my conversion wasn't helping matters either. I didn't mind if he took his time, as long as we tried. I had already decided that if things didn't go well, I would be patient and wait until I was more "durable" as Edward had put it.

I looked at Edward with a sheepish face and asked "Are we going to be honeymooning _in_ Denali?"

He lifted me onto his lap and stroked the length of my chin with his fingertips and said "No but within a few hundred miles; so we'll visit at least for a day while we're in the area."

"Oh," I said, not really listening.

Edward took my face in his hands, and kissed me and asked if I was ready to go downstairs. As was common when he kissed me, it was hard to concentrate on anything else.

"Now why would we want to do that?" I answered like a drunken man.

"Well" he said kissing my neck and jaw "there are the over 200 guests downstairs, and of course our families. But if you would really prefer to stay here, well that's fine with me."

He smiled his crooked smile and I was undone. If he had not had the strength to resist his own suggestion, we would have never come out.

He laughed, lifted me to my feet, and said "come on _Mrs. Cullen_, let's go celebrate!"

The reception was already in full swing when we were announced and entered the tent. People were dancing, eating, drinking and have a generally spectacular time. I had to admit, no one could throw a party like Alice. Inside, the silk tent was dotted with round tables with matching silk tablecloths. High climbing flower arrangements sat in the center of each table. Each arrangement was bright with white tea lights, and had the same beautiful crystals hanging from the delicate branches of painted manzanita. The table settings were made up of delicate white china, placed on bronze chargers. Gold tone flatware and elegant crystal glasses completed the place settings. Each guest had placed on their plate what looked like gold boxes lined in silk, each with a silver bracelet and sliver tie bar. Alice had shared with me that each bracelet and tie bar were engraved with _Bella & Edward Forever_. I shuddered to think of the money she had lavished on this _little_ affair. A full orchestra was playing, while a DJ, with equipment to rival a professional sound studio waited for his turn to entertain the guests.

The traditional festivities began. Edward and I shared our fist dance to a melody that Edward had written for the occasion. As his compositions often did, it brought tears to my eyes. Edward had taught me some rudimentary dance steps during the weeks preceding the wedding, so I was not as uncoordinated as I felt at the prom. All too soon, the bridal dance was over, and we began being passed around to whoever wanted to dance with us. We started of course with the families. I danced with Charlie of course, who as uncomfortable as he looked, danced quite well. Next I danced with Carlisle, then Phil. Emmett took his turn, and to my unabashed surprise so did Jasper. Jasper, despite being the newest to the Cullen's way of life, seemed to do very well among all the human guests. I was very impressed with his self-control, and I wondered how long it would be before I would be safe around humans. The vision of Bree passed through my head. It was the one thing I feared most about becoming a vampire; but I knew that I Edward and the rest of the family would help me through it. I had every confidence in them. Jasper held me at a respectable distance as we danced, smiling the whole time, telling me how wonderful it was that we were family. The memories of his trying to kill me after I had cut my finger were buried deep with my mind, and no longer had any relevance. Only the painful memories that came later did I fear.

After we finished the obligatory dancing, Edward and I took a moment to sit at the bridal table. I ate while Edward watched me. He and all the Cullens did their best to take a few bites of the expensive gourmet extravaganza Alice had flown in from San Francisco. Edward had compared eating human food to eating dirt. I almost felt sorry that they couldn't enjoy it; it was delicious. I began to wonder if I would miss the taste of food. The thought unleashed the greedy child in me, and I ate my fill. Edward seemed a little shocked, as I was not usually such a heavy eater. "Hey" I said, "you don't want me to miss this _human_ experience do you? I smiled an impish smile at him, and he burst out laughing. "It's a good thing I won't have to provide you with food" he said, pretending to be worried I would eat him out of house and home.

"So" I asked, "Is everyone satisfactorily impressed with the festivities?"

"Their having the time of their lives," he said grinning. "Oh, and just so you know, we're going to owe Alice for life, or so she thinks," he added. I had to laugh.

At that moment Edward's face turned to stone as he turned his head, I followed with mine to see Gianna sauntering up to the table.

As she greeted us, Edward in return greeted her with polite coldness "Gianna."

She leaned in, resting a delicate hand on the table in front of us. She was very confident in her roll as the Volturi's messenger.

"Congratulations" she purred with her heavy accent. "I bring greetings and best wishes from my masters in Volterra. Jane, especially bid me give you her personal greetings."

Edward stared at her with a look that would have sent shivers down the bravest man's spine, Gianna was no exception. Knowing what he was however, she felt it more acutely. She stepped back, took a more formal stance and waited for our reply.

"Please convey our thanks to your masters," Edward said ambivalently. "They hardly needed to bother themselves with sending a personal messenger" he continued. "We informed Jane a short time ago, that the family will make plans in the future to visit them at Volterra."

"Ah, yes," she answered, "but there is the other matter they are also concerned with."

She looked at me with accusing eyes as she finished her statement.

Edward uttered a growl low enough that no one but the three of us heard. Gianna startled, looked as though she were about to turn and run, but obviously remembering her mission, she forced herself to stay.

"Tell your masters," Edward spat out, "That we have every intention of keeping our word. It will be soon," he said as though he was looking through her. "But" he emphasized "when we are ready, _not_ until then!"

Gianna looked incredulously at Edward, and then me. Then she spoke directly to me.

"You must realize the urgency of this matter. They will not wait if you take too long. And if they come to _you_, it will not be to turn you." She smiled an almost triumphant smile.

Edward stood up abruptly with another low growl, and Gianna's breath became short and labored, as she stumbled back another step. Her eyes seemed to double in size, as she assessed just how dangerous Edward was. I gently placed my hand on Edward's wrist and waited. After a few moments, he slowly sat down. He did not soften his face, but continued to stare at Gianna as though she were a deadly enemy.

By now Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had noticed the exchange, and looked on anxiously.

I very calmly answered her. "Gianna, Edward has given you our answer; I have no other to offer. But if I were you, I would worry about my own safety.

She seemed confused by my statement, but I continued, "You have been with the Volturi for a long time, right? Don't you wonder why they haven't turned you?"

I looked at her with both disdain and true concern. I feared for this woman, and I knew ultimately it didn't matter. She would remain with them until they changed her, or until she became their next meal. I shuddered at that thought. I could see the fear in her eyes, but also the attempt to control it.

Edward's eyes seemed to narrow as though her were listening to something, and he was, her thoughts.

"Jane" he said defiantly, "may be the leader of the Volturi guard Gianna, but she does not have the authority to make the decision to turn you. That remains with Aro, Caius and Marcus. Do not trust too much in her promises. She feels no particular need to be honest with you. The world is full of competent receptionists!"

Her beautiful eyes suddenly filled with terror.

Stammering, she answered "I…I…I will give the masters your answer. Again" she said trying to compose herself, "congratulations on your marriage. I hope it will be a long and happy one." She turned abruptly and left.

Edward looked at me. His lips pressed straight, and his eyes saying what I had feared, the Volturi were becoming impatient. I knew that our honeymoon might be shorter than we had hoped.

"What did you see in her mind?" I asked.

"Jane" he said with disgust. "She's been making promises she shouldn't"

I could see the concern on his face.

"I need to talk to Carlisle" he said.

I looked over at Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett who were already coming to join us. Edward kissed me, and turned his attention to Carlisle and Emmett. He quickly explained the exchange, and the four turned to walk outside the tent where, I presumed, they would discuss the matter discretely. Before they left, Edward turned and looked at me, his eyes silently asking me if I wanted to join them. I shook my head, he understood immediately. I knew there would be no secrets between Edward and I, and that he would inform me of what was said later. As much as I wanted to go with them, I knew one of us had to stay with our guests. Across the room, I was met by Alice's stare. She continued to smile and continue the conversation she was having with one of the guests, but I knew she was seeing more than just me. She excused herself, and went outside to join Edward and the others.

To distract myself, I chose to take the opportunity to mingle. Jessica was there in all her giddy glory, dancing and enjoying herself. "Oh Bella" she bubbled. "This is the most fantastic wedding I have ever seen!"

I couldn't help thinking that considering she lived in Forks her whole life, it wasn't saying much, but I let her go on.

"How did you do it; how did you bring all of this to Forks?"

"Alice did it" I deferred. "She has a talent."

"She sure does" Jessica agreed.

We talked about all the good times we had had. She even laughed about the time in Port Angeles, when my obsession with hearing Edward's voice in my head, caused me to scare Jessica into keeping her distance from me. Apparently, she had forgiven me. Jessica was always more forgiving when she was partying.

I talked with Mike Newton for some time. He had long since accepted my heart belonged to Edward, despite his almost unbelievable tenacity for trying to change my mind. Now after everything, I could see what a truly nice person Mike was. I wasn't sure he deserved to end up with Jessica.

Angela and Ben were their sweet selves, and fun to spend time with, even now. I couldn't say I was surprised when Angela conspicuously showed me her left hand. On her third finger was a modest, but beautiful diamond ring. "You see, you started a trend Bella" Angela said with delight.

Ben looked up sheepishly at me, and I hugged them both.

"I am so happy for you both" I cried.

"The ring was Ben's grandmother's" she announced with pride. "It's not as beautiful as yours" she said, "but I really love it" she added, looking affectionately at Ben.

"It's perfect Angela" I said.

We talked about when they would tie the knot, and how it would all work out with them going to school. Angela had always been a good friend to me. I was suddenly very aware of how much I would miss her. I hoped they would be truly happy. I left them with "You take care of each other."

My next visit was more difficult. I walked over to see Billy, Sam and Emily. Billy had never been round about, in his disapproval of Edward's and my relationship, so I was touched by the fact that he had come. I was sure it was out of respect for Charlie, but I didn't care what the reason was, I was just glad to see him. I was shocked though that Sam and Emily had come. I wasn't unhappy about it, but I was hesitant about approaching them. As I arrived at their table, Emily stood and hugged me. Smiling she said "Congratulations Bella" and it sounded like she meant it. "How are you holding up, she asked me?"

I appreciated the small talk, and I answered, "Fine, but I think Alice is trying for the wedding extravaganza record of all time award!"

"Well she has my vote," Emily laughed, and I joined her.

Emily was one of the kindest people I had ever met, despite the turns her life had taken. First being imprinted upon by Sam, leading her to be part of inadvertently breaking her Cousin Leah's heart when Sam ended their relationship for Emily. Then having to live with the brutal scars Sam had given her when he phased into his werewolf counter part too close to her. I truly admired her.

I then turned my attention to Billy. "How have you been Billy?" I asked.

"I am as good as I can be Bella," he said. "I will be absolutely fine, when that son of mine comes to his senses and comes home!"

I couldn't help feeling a twinge of guilt at his statement. I still felt responsible for Jacobs's self-imposed exile. I knew Billy did not blame me, but I blamed myself.

"I wish I could help Billy," I said looking down.

"It's not your fault Bella," he said. "Jacob knew how you felt about Edward; he just hoped he could change your mind."

My face must have shown the pain I was feeling, thinking about Jacob. Billy quickly diverted my attention saying, "Actually Sam has something to say to you about Jacob Bella."

I looked at Sam defensively.

I had hated Sam Uley. I had blamed him for the dramatic change in Jacob before I knew about their werewolf legacy. But I had been wrong, incredibly wrong about Sam. He had helped Jacob, to understand what was happening, and to accept their odd heritage and learn to control it. He had helped Jacob in a way that no one had been able to help Sam, when he was the soul _Protector_ of the Quileutes. Sam had also helped the Cullens and me, allowing the pack to assist us in the war against Victoria. I didn't know if I had ever been or would ever be comfortable around him, but I did respect him.

"Hi Sam" I said timidly.

He did not smile, but he did not look angry either.

"He's been talking to me just a bit Bella" Sam said. "He wanted me to tell you something for him."

I nodded, but couldn't bring myself to say anything else.

"He simply said _be happy Bella_. That was all."

I could feel the slow silent tear running down my cheek. I wanted to send a message back to Jacob, but I was afraid, afraid of causing him more pain. It was a minute or two before I could speak.

"Thank you Sam" I said finally. "You don't know how much it means to me. Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"No" Sam replied. "We know he's in the north, but that's about it. He doesn't give many details."

I finally decided I did want to say something to him. "Could you give him a message for me Sam?" Sam nodded. "Tell him I said thank you for everything. For saving me from myself, and for helping me when I needed it most. Tell him I said to come home. Billy needs him, and so do all of the Quileutes." I hesitated, but then blurted out "And tell him I said I love him, always."

Sam nodded, though his face looked a bit uncomfortable. When I felt the familiar cool hand on my shoulder, I understood.

"Hello Billy, Emily, Sam" Edward said kindly. "Thank you for coming, it means so much to Bella and to me." "It was for Bella more than anything," Sam said matter-of-factly, but kindly.

"I know that" Edward allowed. "But I am still grateful. I'm sorry Bella, were you done with your message for Jacob?"

With my eyes closed as I nodded. My heart felt like it had stopped beating, feeling I had betrayed Edward.

"Then if I might steal the bride" he said, "Alice says were behind schedule for cutting the cake."

I hadn't moved. I couldn't bring myself to look up.

"Bella?" Edward said, gently rubbing my shoulder, "Alice is waiting."

Finally, I hugged Billy, then Sam, the Emily. I whispered in Emily's ear "If Jacob comes home, would you get word to me?"

Emily looked at me, and smiled a sad sort of smile, and said, "Just take Jacob's advice and be happy Bella."

I knew she had not really answered my question, but I hoped she would honor my request. "Thank you" I said. Another slow, silent tear escaped my eye as Edward and I walked away.

"You heard everything I asked?"

"Yes" he said gently.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, not able to look at Edward.

He stopped, took my face in his hands, looked into my eyes and said

"There's nothing for you to apologize for Bella. You love Jacob. I have always accepted that. I am grateful to him for taking care of you while I was gone."

We both took a moment to weather the pain we both felt during that memory. He continued, "Don't ever feel that you can't think about Jacob because of me. I would hope that if you had chosen him over me, that you would remember me and how much I love you. I cannot deny that to Jacob. He is part of you Bella, he always will be."

Edward never ceased to amaze me. He had such a capacity for benevolence. He was truly the most unselfish person I had ever known, despite his opinion of himself to the contrary. I placed my head against his chest and held him. He returned my embrace, and we stood holding each other until Alice came to get us.


	6. Revelations and Rivalries

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

6. Revelations and Rivalries

After cutting the massive cake, it was time to throw the bouquet. Alice was worse than a drill sergeant, lining all the single women up, not allowing anyone even resembling a single girl to escape. Afraid I would stumble and injure myself, Alice agreed not to make me spin around three times with my eyes closed. I simply faced away from the girls, counted to three, and let the flowers fly. They say some things are meant to be. It must have been kismet for Angela and Ben, as she ended up with the flowers smack in her hands. I smiled a knowing smile at her, and she blushed. Then again it seems kismet is fickle, and not without a sense of humor. When Edward threw the garter lightly and decidedly, it made its way into Tyler Crowley's waiting grasp. Ben was not amused when Tyler announced that now Angela had to marry him instead! However, we all laughed, and after Angela kissed him, Ben forgot about Tyler completely.

Then Edward told me "Time to meet Tanya and Irina."

I was not happy about the whole business, but I obediently went with Edward, determined not to let my insecurities get the better of me. As we approached where they were seated with Esme and Rosalie, I began to shake ever so slightly. No one but Edward would have noticed.

"Really Bella" Edward teased. "You're not afraid, are you?"

I didn't answer. Edward stopped and faced me.

"You _aren't_ afraid are you?" He asked in earnest this time.

"I don't know" I said.

"Bella" Edward said, "I told Charlie I would take care of you. And I will never let anything hurt you."

"I'm not afraid of being hurt Edward." I said.

He looked at me puzzled.

"Then what are you afraid of?" he asked.

I looked away from him, not wanting to answer.

He was having none of it. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted my face until I was staring into his piercing eyes. He asked again "What…are…you…afraid…of?"

"Of not measuring up," I blurted out.

Edward looked at me, then Tanya, then me again.

"Do you really think, there is anything Tanya has that would entice me away from you?" He asked, sounding a little perturbed.

I looked at his face, and knew I was being ridiculous. Edward had turned down Rosalie, whose goddess-like features put Tanya to shame. Why should I expect him to prefer her now?

"I'm sorry," I said in apology. "I guess it's still hard to believe you really want _me_."

Edward took me in his arms, in front of the entire company of guests, and kissed me until I could not breathe. As I began to slide to the floor in response, he swung me effortlessly into his arms, and looked at me again. Our foreheads touching, he whispered

"You ridiculous, beautiful girl, tonight, I will show you just how much I truly want you, and only you!"

I worked hard to catch my breath, and I whispered

"After all this time, you can still dazzle me."

He laughed quietly, and asked "Ready to meet Tanya and Irina _now?_"

I nodded smiling at him, and he put me on my feet.

Tanya looked somewhat annoyed after our little display of wedded bliss. Irina smiled politely.

"Tanya, Irina" Edward began, "this is Bella."

Both the beautiful vampires rose with such elegance, if it were not for the memory of the kiss Edward had just given me, I might have felt my insecurity resurface.

"Well there's no doubt that Edward has found his mate" Tanya said, without conviction.

Edward looked at her with daggers in his eyes, he obviously knew what she was going to say. She ignored him altogether, and continued to look at me.

"He's always been a bit…eccentric. I suppose he told you about his time with us in Denali. We had such wonderful times, didn't we Edward?"

She didn't wait for him to answer before continuing. "I understand you are joining our way of life soon Bella,"

"Yes," Edward answered, "in the next few days actually. And no" he said in a low voice answering her thoughts, "I won't be disappointed in not tasting!"

Her thoughts seemed to disgust him. Despite the fact that Edward had indulged in human blood, to his human conscious it was abhorrent. He obviously had not felt the need to tell her that he had tasted, and would again when he changed me.

Tanya glared at Edward for a split second before she continued, but it was enough time for Irina to find her voice. "Won't your becoming one of us prove difficult for your mongrel Quileute friends?" She asked with sarcasm.

Edward tightened his arm around me. He leaned in toward Irina and hissed, "Be careful Irina, the Quileutes are friends, and welcome. And if you have any ideas of revenge, don't forget this is their territory, and they know how to defend it!"

Irina looked around nervously, then regained her composure, but said nothing else.

I stared at her for a moment, my face not hiding the satisfaction I had in Edward's statement.

"So" Tanya said, trying to recapture her momentum, "that means you will be human for the honeymoon?"

She smiled what could only be described as mockingly; I said nothing but continue to stare at her. Something about her was familiar, darkly familiar. I couldn't quite make the connection. After all, there was no crimson in her eyes. They were the same amber color as Edward's, and the rest of the family. After all, the Denali, like the Cullens were _vegetarians_ as they referred to themselves. They did not drink _human_ blood, and she was supposed to be close friends with the Cullens. Now, being a Cullen myself, I should have felt secure. Still everything in me told me she was dangerous, dangerous _to me_.

"Is she always this shy Edward?" she asked with just a touch of insult.

Edward was clearly becoming angry.

"Bella" he said, "will answer if she chooses to Tanya. Perhaps she hasn't heard anything interesting enough to comment on."

She looked at him with a feigned injured look and continued. "Well I am sure you will have a memorable honeymoon."

"Do…" Edward began about to stop her, but she ignored him.

"Of course you should be careful Bella dear, accidents do happen. But then we've heard Edward has incredible resistance to your…charms?"

Edward growled low, but with ferocity. I felt a shiver run down my back. Irina began to look back and forth between Edward and Tanya, but Tanya merely looked at Edward and smiled wryly almost seductively.

"You never could frighten me Edward" she said with delight, "you don't think it will be any different now do you?"

His stare was so intense she quickly lost her smile, but not her defiant pose. I was afraid things might get out of hand when Rosalie suddenly passed between them and put an arm around me. She looked at Tanya and simply said

"Tanya, if you can't be more gracious, shut up!"

Taken by surprise, and in the face of Rosalie's directness and her beauty, something Tanya had no hope of besting, she had no recourse. She rolled her eyes and sat back down next to Irina.

Edward looked at Rosalie with a look of affection, and smiled triumphantly back at Tanya. I was still unable to speak or take my eyes from Tanya, who despite her vegetarian amber eyes, looked as though she would be very willing to change her persuasion just for me. Rosalie took my hand from Edward's and said

"May I borrow my new sister brother?"

"Of course" Edward said.

"Bella" Rosalie said, indicating she wanted me to follow her, but I still had my eyes on Tanya. Without saying another word, Rosalie pulled me along, outside the tent, and we walked a few yards away.

I looked at Rosalie, and said "thank you for the rescue."

"Tanya always has been a bit of twit" she said smiling.

"I don't think she likes me very much" I said.

"She's jealous," Rosalie said with an air of understanding. "She has always preferred Edward, and thought eventually he would come around to her attentions."

Rosalie looked amused and said, "Like me, she is very vain. And she was angry that Edward did not return her regard."

I began to understand Tanya's dislike of me.

"Bella" she continued, "I wanted to talk to you about something else if it's alright.

"Of course" I said.

She nodded in thanks and said, "What I really wanted was to apologize to you."

"For what?" I asked.

She looked at me with just a bit of sadness in her eyes.

"As you may have guessed, I have been avoiding you because of your decision Bella. I am sorry, but you know my feelings about what you're going to do. What you don't know however, is how much I have come to admire you. Of course, I am grateful for your saving Edward in Volterra. Especially when it was partly my mistake that put him there. But I am also grateful for you loving him, and making his life complete and giving him back himself. I have never told anyone this Bella, but I have always grieved for Edward's being alone. I'll repeat myself, I am vain, and yes, I can be shallow, but I'm also honest. I knew I was not right for Edward from the start. I knew he was looking for something, or someone; and I knew it was not me. It didn't take very much time for me to know it wasn't Tanya either."

She laughed nodding her head towards the tent.

"Even so, it was hard to see him alone for so long, while the rest of us found our soul mates. I have cried for Edward's loneliness Bella" she said.

When I raised an eyebrow, she said "Oh go ahead and tell him. He'll never believe it anyway, so I can always deny it."

We both laughed.

"You've saved my brother Bella, in more ways than one. By making his life complete, you have made our family complete as well. You belong with us Bella, perhaps you always have."

I could only stare at her as she spoke. I had accepted that Rosalie did not want me for so long I didn't know how to believe what she was saying. Sensing my apprehension, she said, "Remember when you stated that I still didn't like you?"

I nodded.

"Well…I do like you Bella, I love you. You are my sister now, and I always want you to be part of our family. Can you forgive me?"

I couldn't believe my ears, but almost involuntarily, I rushed into Rosalie's cold arms, and said, "Thank you so much Rosalie! Thank you, thank you!"

I felt such a relief, that I couldn't help but smile.

"Just try not to turn out too pretty after your change" she said. "I may love you, but I'm still vain, and still want to be _the fairest of them all_."

She smiled and looked so unbelievably beautiful, that I couldn't fathom her worrying about how _I_ would turn out.

She winked at me and said, "Ok time to return you to Edward, before he thinks I've kidnapped you."

As we started back into the tent, Edward met us. As Rosalie tried to pass by him, Edward stopped her, and hugged her gently and said,

"Rosalie, for every unkind word I've ever spoken to you, I apologize. Thank you for what you did for Bella in there. It meant more to me than you will ever know."

She looked at her brother with a look of appreciation and said "it was for you too Edward. I was wrong about you and Bella, and I am sorry. She is part of our family, human or not, and I will never let anyone hurt her. Thank you for giving me another wonderful sister. They embraced as brother and sister, perhaps truly for the first time.

As the three of us entered the tent, Alice met us in a snit. "Where have you three been, it's time for the toasts!"

"Sorry Alice" Rosalie said, "It was my fault, I wanted to talk to Bella, and Edward came to find us."

Edward gave Alice a quick account of Rosalie's rescuing me.

Alice smirked, looking at Rosalie who nodded with a grin that indicated she was still smug about putting Tanya in her place.

We all laughed, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye I Alice and Edward talking to each other in low quick voices. I kept my attention on Rosalie, but thought I saw Alice look at me, and then back at Edward who was shaking his head. I knew if I asked him later he would tell me everything, so I was content to wait.

We found our places at the bridal table and the toasts began. First, it was Jasper's turn. He looked very comfortable as he raised his glass and began.

"Edward has always been the responsible one in the family. He has always kept an eye on the rest of us, making sure we stayed in line."

I had to smile, knowing that most of the people listening had no idea what kind of eye Jasper was referring to. He went on. "He is also the most forgiving brother anyone could ask for"

Jasper gave me a quick glance that had a slight look of guilt behind it. I smiled back at him, and tried with all my might to give him a look that communicated that he had nothing to feel guilty for. Seemingly relieved, he continued. "But Edward was always alone, even in our large family. Then a strange girl came to town."

He smiled a mischievous smile at me, and I had to giggle.

"The rest of us didn't really notice her, but he did. It was fate, Edward was hooked. He couldn't stay away from her, even though the rest of us couldn't understand the attraction. Of course she _was_ a lot of trouble…she fell down…a lot!"

Knowing me to be the klutz I was everyone laughed, even Charlie.

"And" he continued "we weren't really sure if Edward should involve himself with her."

Edward put his arm tight around me, feeling I needed reassurance.

"But after meeting Bella, and getting to know her," he continued "we all fell in love with her too, and wanted her to be part of our family."

Rosalie smiled at me, and mouth the words "Sorry." I just shook my head and smiled at her. Jasper went on "Edward and Bella have been through a lot, but never has there been any doubt, they were meant to be. Bella, on behalf of our family I want to welcome you to the Cullen clan. Edward you have finally found your other half and no one deserves it more. Bella and Edward I wish you happiness now and forever."

I knew how much that sentiment meant to Edward and to me, and I couldn't help standing and hugging my new brother. Jasper froze, and then relaxed, and hugged me back. "Thank you" I said. He smiled at me, and I suddenly felt how much Jasper really cared for me. He whispered in my ear

"You see Bella, you were worth it."

Then Alice took her turn. Alice wasn't one to mince words. "When I first met Bella," she said, I felt Edward stiffen up, and then he looked at Alice with frustration, obviously seeing what she was about to say. Alice shot an almost bratty look at him and went on, "I _saw_ that she and Edward were destined to be together, and that Bella would be part of our family. Bella has certainly taken some getting used to in our otherwise reserved lives. I have never met anyone who gets as worked up over things as Bella!"

I looked at her with a sarcastic smile, but my sarcasm turned into a laugh and she continue, "But she is the new blood…" my laughter turned to shock, she just smiled and winked at me and continued. "…that our family needs. Edward, you are the best brother anyone could ever have, and now you're even better because you brought Bella into our lives. You _will_ have a long life and happiness together!" she said with absolute conviction.

A hug seemed redundant, but I hugged her anyway. Edward was looking at her stone-faced. He had always fought my becoming a vampire, but Alice never wavered about her conviction that I would. He had warned her more than once to keep her visions of my change to herself. However, at this point in our life together, it seemed at least to me a moot point. Alice and I looked at Edward waiting for some reaction from him. Slowly the stone face was replaced with a smile of resignation, and he took us both in his arms and hugged us. He tugged gently on Alice's hair and said "You're still a pain you know."

"I know" she said, "but someone has to keep your life interesting."

He laughed and said "like I haven't had enough entertainment with Bella?"

I loved seeing the two of them bantering back and forth. It was comforting.

Then Charlie stood and began to speak. I had once said that with Charlie less was always more, and tonight was no exception. What he said, though short, touched me more than anything else.

"I've always been a pretty simple guy" he began. "I'm not one to see things coming, and I didn't see this coming, until I was hit smack in the face with it. I haven't been very nice about Bella and Edward. I've been pretty downright rude sometimes to Edward. But I've come to see how much they love each other, and how well they fit together; seems like they were made for each other."

Looking at Edward and me, Charlie's puzzled expression crossed his face again, but he continued, "Edward, you have in your care now, my most precious possession. I know you will love her and take care of her. Bells, we haven't had a lot of time together, but you have made my life a joy honey. And I know that my life has been better than I ever thought possible because of you. You have made a good choice in Edward. He will make you happy, and you deserve it. Congratulations kids, be happy!"

More tears for Charlie.

Then it was time for more mingling. We returned to Esme, we found that Tanya and Irina had gone.

"Rosalie chased them all the way back to Alaska" Edward said with an impish laugh.

I laughed at his uncustomary pettiness, and sat down next to Esme. Carlisle had joined her while Rosalie and I were outside. Esme and I had not had very much time this evening, but she was beaming every time I looked at her.

"So are you sure you wouldn't prefer Tanya for your daughter in law?" I joked.

Shaking her head, Esme laughed and put her arm around me. "You have been my _daughter_ Bella" she corrected "for quite some time, tonight just made it official. I am so proud of you dear, and I am so grateful to you for my son's sake. You are the fulfillment of his dreams. Dreams that he felt he had no right to have. When he found you Bella, it was as if his life truly began. You are a godsend for him Bella. Thank you for loving him."

I hugged my new _mother_, and said "It's really no trouble."

"That remains to be seen," she said looking wryly at Edward.

She looked back at me, and we both laughed.

She turned to Edward saying, "Don't forget you're a gentleman" and gave him a knowing look that seemed to embarrass him.

"I will remember Mom," he whispered.

I then turned my attention to Carlisle. I could tell he was ruminating over what Edward had seen in Gianna's mind. Based on what I had observed passing between Edward and Alice, I was sure she had given them additional information to consider. I had decided it would be better to let Edward fill me in on everything later.

"How long will you be staying in this house now?" I asked.

"We could probably stay two or three more years" he said. "But it would be awkward to have to explain to Charlie where you are."

I felt my customary twinge of guilt. For both leaving Charlie and realizing that, the Cullens would have to abandon their beautiful home for the second time since meeting me.

"We will come back here in a century or so" Carlisle said, perhaps reading my face. "Only the Quileutes will know who we are."

I nodded, and looked over at Charlie, who had spent the last hour laughing and talking with Billy and the Uleys.

Charlie had been very upset over Jacob's leaving. I assumed Billy told him that Jacob had talked to Sam. Of course, just how that communication had taken place, I was sure he didn't share, but Charlie would have been relieved. Charlie had been very vocal about his preference for Jacob over Edward. But his words tonight proved he had accepted my decision and Edward. With at least the pretense that Jacob was ok, I imagined he and Billy turned their attention to their favorite subject; fishing. I was feeling a familiar sadness threatening to overcome me again.

Carlisle sensing my grief said, "you know Bella, in a few years, when you are more…in…control, it wouldn't be impossible to come for a visit with Charlie. You'll still look young to him, but as happy as I'm sure he'll be to see you, I doubt it would be an issue."

I gave him a hopeful glance, and hugged my new father.

"Thank you Carlisle" I said. "It does make it easier, just knowing it might be a possibility."

Seeing at Edward's troubled expression though, I deliberately added, "but I won't count on it."

Edward and I talked with Carlisle and Esme for a few more minutes.

Next, we visited with Réne and Phil. While Edward talked with Phil, about what else…baseball, my mother and I strolled off to a more private place. Renee' felt it was her motherly duty, and tried as gently as she could to prepare me for my wedding night.

"It can be a bit scary at first" she said.

I thought to myself, _you have no idea_.

I listened dutifully, wanting to cringe, but resigned to the fact that every daughter had to go through this with her mother on her wedding day.

When Réne was satisfied that she had properly prepared me for wedded bliss, I spoke. "Mom, I wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you for everything, for being my mother and my best friend. But what I am most grateful for is you allowing me to come and live with Charlie. And not just because of Edward; although he was the best bonus by far."

She looked at me like a giddy schoolgirl, and I couldn't help laughing. Réne and I had always had fun together. I'd been missing that, and knew I would miss it even more very soon. But I had peace about my mom, because she and Phil so complimented each other, that I had no doubt she would be able to weather my absence. I continued, "It's been so great, the time I've had with Charlie. I've gotten to know him so much in the last two years. He really needed me mom, and the truth is, I needed him."

Réne looked at me with contentment, and said, "He really did need you Bella, I know that. You know Bella I always wished that things could have worked out with Charlie and me, and I have always loved him in my way."

She looked towards Charlie, her face just a little sad, but full of conviction.

"But we were a wrong fit from the start Charlie and me. He was too old for me, or maybe I was too young for him, I'm not sure."

She looked at me and smiled.

"You are so much like him Bella. You were too old me for me too, you know, from the very start. I know we ended up switching rolls Bella, and I shouldn't have let things take that direction. But you fell into it so easily, as though it was meant to be. Anyway, I should have made sure you saw Charlie more. Knowing how much you've shared with him over the last two years, I know that you made up for it. I'm so proud of you Bella, and I'm grateful, because you are the proof that Charlie and I loved one another."

I looked at Réne and smiled. In many ways, my mother had a very simple mind, but she had an uncanny ability to see the truth of things. I was so overcome by her words, that I had no words to answer her with, so I simply hugged her. It was the best reply I could give my mother. The one she would understand the most.

I found my way to Alice who had taken a break from her hostess duties, to survey her production. Judging by the look on her face, she was very pleased with the results. I put my arm around her and said,

"Alice I…"

"I already know," She interrupted, "the wedding was more wonderful than you could have imagined, and you are really happy that I'm your sister, right?"

I should have known she'd already seen our exchange. I looked at her, as an impish smile spread across her face, and said, "Edward is right, you really are annoying!"

I started to walk off, but she caught me around the waist, and said, don't be like that, I can't help it if I'm a know it all. You have to admit, it has come in handy from time to time."

Alice was someone with who I just could not be angry. Her animated personality spilled over and disarmed anyone that she met.

I laughed as I hugged her back and said "just promise me you haven't planned any surprises for us on the honeymoon!"

"No, that has been Edward's personal province" she said. Her expression became a little half serious and she added "don't be too hard on him tonight Bella. He's more worried than you know about harming you."

I blushed at the mention of our impending wedding night.

She gave me a squeeze and said "shouldn't you be able to talk about such things with your sister?

"Yes Alice," I said timidly and added "thank you for everything."

"You're welcomed _sister,_" she said overemphasizing the word.


	7. Goodbyes

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

7. Goodbyes

Finally, Edward and I began to prepare to take our leave. It was closing in on the moment I was dreading, saying goodbye Charlie. If I hadn't come to realize how alone my father had been in the 18 years since Réne had left with me, I wouldn't feel such grief at leaving him now, but I knew it was inevitable. Edward had not given me many details about our honeymoon; only that we would end up in to Alaska, and would be visiting the Denali clan. Our travel arrangements were a mystery too, but I was not putting it past him to drive all the way to Alaska. The incredibly high speeds at which he and the rest of the family drove could get us there in a night I imagined. Whatever the plans were, I knew that we were leaving soon.

When our impending departure was announced, people began to stroll outside where we would certainly be bombarded with rice. I was sure Alice had not forgotten _that_ little tradition. Edward and I adjourned to the house to change into our travel clothes. In her and Jasper's room Alice had laid out a simple suede outfit, which included pants, a halter-top and Knee length blazer. A matching purse and low wedge boots completed the outfit. _Where does she think I will ever where this again, _I wondered. When I was dressed, I looked in the full-length mirror and realized that Alice really did know how to shop for me. The outfit fit my body like a glove, and flattered it in ways I never thought possible. The color was perfect for my pale skin, and the texture was wonderful. It actually made me a bit angry, since I was never comfortable with my own acquisitions when I went shopping. I shook my head as I saw a century of being Alice's personal dress up doll. _At least she would be good at it_ I thought.

I went to Edward's _and my_ room, the thought made me blush, and knocked on the door, before going in. Edward was just beginning to button up his shirt. His well-appointed chest, nearly took my breath away as it always did. I felt a bit lightheaded, and sat on the edge of the bed.

Edward smiled and said "Now that's a good omen."

He leapt to the bed in one swift movement, and the next thing I knew I was in his arms.

"You know we could just stay here tonight" he said with an insinuating leer.

The idea was tempting. However, after I had a moment to think about it, I said, "We can't do that to Alice. Her vision of the perfect wedding would be ruined if we don't get hit with a hurricane of rice, and drive off into the moonlight."

Edward looked deeply into my eyes, began to slide his hands under my blazer and up my bare back, and asked

"Are you sure?"

His touch sent a thrill through me so intense, that the world disappeared and the only thing that existed was his eyes.

"Um…I…Edwa…" I tried to speak, but it seemed like I slurred the words.

Then he kissed me, and everything went black.

The next thing I was aware of was a cool cloth on my head and Alice's chiding voice,

"Honestly Edward, couldn't you wait until Alaska? Bella, can you hear me?"

"Oh never mind that Alice" I heard Edward say. "Bella love" he murmured "Please, open your eyes."

His voice was worried. I tried to comply, but wasn't quite able to. Then I heard Carlisle's voice saying,

"She's fine Edward; she's just fainted; a little tired from the day's activities I imagine."

Finally, I was able to slowly open my eyes and weakly answer. "I'm fine everyone, please don't worry."

"Oh Bella!" Edward moaned, taking me up in his arms, burying his face in my hair.

"I was so worried; I didn't know what I was going to tell Charlie."

"Charlie!" I said slightly panicked. "Is he ok, is he worried? I have to make sure he's ok."

"He's fine Bella," Carlisle said. "No one even knows what happened, only the four of us."

I was relieved to hear that.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Just a couple of minutes" Alice said. "I don't know how you're going to survive tonight" she joked.

"That's enough Alice" Carlisle scolded.

She was giggling, but Edward had a look of concern on his face. I knew my wedding night was in jeopardy, and I needed to talk to him right away.

"Um Alice, Carlisle" I said, "Could I have a moment alone with Edward please?"

"Of course" Carlisle said with a smile. "We'll join everyone else downstairs."

As he and Alice were leaving he whispered "She's fine Edward" patting him on the shoulder.

Then we were alone again.

"Bella" he began, but I stopped him abruptly.

"Don't even think about it," I said firmly.

"This is a very bad idea Bella", he said.

I looked into his eyes and said "You gave me your word Edward. Besides it wasn't you, it was me. You took me by surprise that's all. I forgot to breathe again."

He looked at me with unbelief and smiled. "Well it's nice to know I can still take your breath away now that we're an old married couple."

"I don't know if that will ever change" I said.

"Which is all the more reason it might be better to wait until you don't have to breathe" he said with a serious look again.

"No!" was all I said.

He sighed and held me close for a moment, and resigned himself to our course. "Well, at least it's nice to be wanted he said."

I stood up, took his hand in mine and said "Yes it is. Now let's go say goodbye to Charlie."

Charlie was at the foot of the stairs when we came down. He had an expression I had never seen before. I couldn't even begin to describe it. We came down, and I immediately hugged him. He stepped back and took something from his pocket.

"Bells" he said, "I wanted to give you this." In his hand was a small silver picture frame, tarnished with age. The picture was of Charlie, young and handsome, in front of his house and holding a small bundle. That bundle was me.

"I've carried that in my pocket since the day your mom left with you. I wanted you to have it, to always remind you of your old dad, and that you always have a home to come back to; both of you" he said looking warmly at Edward.

I couldn't look up, but kept looking at the picture, though it began to blur more and more with my tears.

He hugged me and said "I don't know why, but I think it's going to be a long time before I see you again Bells. I love you so much, and I don't want you to ever forget that ok?"

Unable to speak, I clung to my father crying uncontrollably. Charlie held himself together this time. He was patient, but slowly lifted my chin and said "Ok now hon, your husband is waiting."

I looked at Edward who looked as though he felt like he was stealing my father's life away. He smiled a weakly, and said "I promise Charlie, I will take care of Bella for you. I will keep her safe. And we will come home and see you as soon as we can, you have my word."

Charlie smiled and pretended to be hopeful, looked down at me and said "You see Bells, it's…gonna be…fine. Besides, it's time I showed your husband how to fish." He looked up at Edward and winked.

Finally I spoke. "I love you so much dad, I will never forget you, never. You are the best thing mom ever did for me!"

His eyes lit up with a brightness I had never seen before. Finally, I let him go, and turned to leave.

Charlie called behind me "take care kiddo."

I stopped and looked behind me at my father, for the last time I believed, and said "Goodbye Charlie."

As we said our last goodbyes to everyone, we began the long walk to the car. I looked at Alice, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What is she up to?" I whispered to Edward.

"I have no idea" he said

I looked at him and said "You're kidding right?"

"No" he said frustrated. "She's keeping her mind a blank, but knowing Alice, it's going to be big."

All at once, the rice began to fly at us from all directions. We made for the black BMW sport's sedan Edward had bought for me some weeks earlier, but as we got close to it, Edward and I both stopped in our tracks. The once dignified car now looked like some sort of deranged parade float! The car had been inundated with tissue flowers, and shaving cream. Edward and Bella had been written on every window but the front. I didn't know how we would possibly get in the car without being drenched in shaving cream. Tied to the bumper was a preposterous collection of old shoes and cans. I had to laugh in spite of myself. Edward shot an angry glare over his shoulder at Alice, who being so pleased with herself, couldn't have cared less. I noticed Mike, Tyler and Ben, all had similar smirks on their faces, giving themselves away as Alice's accomplices. As a parting wedding festivities gesture, Edward grabbed me, kissed me in front of the onlookers, and waved goodbye. A loud cheer went up as we ducked into the car. We began to slowly…at Alice's request…drive away. We noticed all around the sky began to light up. The most beautiful fireworks I had ever seen began to shoot across the black night sky. We stopped and watched for a few moments, and then drove away.


	8. North

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

8. North

As we left the lantern-lined road onto the main highway, I began to feel how tired I really was. I leaned against the comfortable seat and looked at Edward. His perfection was still intact, the same as the first day I saw him at Forks high school. The only difference was his eyes. That first day they were black with thirst, thirst for me, for my blood. Today they were topaz amber. They still thirsted for me, but in a different way. The thought made me smile. Even in the dark, it was if he could see me smiling. Smiling himself, he kept his eyes on the road, but asked, "What are you thinking about Bella?"

"Well" I began, "besides the obvious," his smile grew, "I was wondering where we're going."

"I told you where, Alaska" he said mischievously.

I looked at him with a defeated look, and moaned in frustration.

"Is it really that awful to want to surprise you?"

His smile, and his eyes, did their job well, all I could say was "no."

We passed through Forks quickly. At the speed Edward was driving, it took less than a minute. I knew I would miss this sleepy little town. I had dreaded coming here. Now I hated to leave. It was where most likely I had my last visit with Renee and Charlie. The place I would always think of when I thought of Jacob and the Quileutes. It had been the place of my best dreams and my worst nightmares. All of them involved the beautiful vampire behind the wheel. I knew Forks would always be home to me. No matter how far we traveled, no matter how long we lived. I had a real sense of homesickness when we left the city limits.

As we continued to drive, I suddenly remembered Gianna, and asked. "So what did you all decide about Gianna's visit?"

He had his usual apprehensive look that he wore whenever I asked about things he felt for my own good, it was better I didn't know; but I wasn't having any of that.

"Edward," I said a little perturbed, "You aren't seriously going to try to keep it from me are you? If you are, you can turn this car around and take me back to Forks so I can ask Carlisle! I already know Alice has seen something. I saw your little exchange tonight."

I could see he knew there was little point in keeping anything from me now, and he began still looking straight ahead. "I saw that Jane has been very busy in Volterra. Apparently she is becoming impatient with the way Aro, Caius and Marcus are handling things."

Aro, Caius and Marcus; the names sent chills through me. The three ruling leaders of the Volturi coven, and the unofficial royal family of the vampire world were forever etched in my mind. Ancient, and darkly refined, they were macabre icons of their kind. Thinking of them and looking at my husband, made it hard to believe that he shared anything in common with them.

I still could not think of our narrow escape in Italy without being afraid. The most frightening part of that memory was Jane, small, delicate, lethal! She hid her cruel, indifferent nature behind an angelic façade. It had not diminished when she came to survey the scene after the war with Victoria. I hoped I would never have to see her again. I distracted myself by turning my attention back to Edward.

"What do you mean she's becoming impatient, what does that mean?" I asked.

"Specifically" he said looking at me with a worried brow, "she's impatient with Aro's fascination with you, and how you will turn out after you…change."

"Oh." I said with apprehension.

"She has argued that you should be destroyed rather than be allowed to become one of us."

I looked at him, and suddenly saw a face of rage, the face of the vampire.

Seeing his face in this way, always made me remember the first day we sat in Chemistry together at Forks high school. At the time, I didn't know the internal struggle he was going through. The battle with the monster inside that thirsted for my blood. I had come to respect Edward's humanity even more, when I understood just how monumental a struggle that was. "La tua cantante" Aro had said about how my blood sang to Edward. His exact type of heroin, Edward once said.

I brought myself back to the present and asked "What will she do? Has Alice seen anything?"

Edward's face didn't change as he answered.

"Alice sees Jane and Alec making an attempt at seizing power, and they may very well be successful. Aro has entrusted them with too much power, too much authority over the Volturi guard. If that happens, it will be bad news for us vegetarians. Jane and Alec's disapproval of our lifestyle is stronger than Aro's."

"What does that mean for us?" I asked nervously.

"Right now nothing." His face relaxed a bit, "Alice can't see anything concrete. Things keep changing, and there are gaps, blanks so to speak, in what she is seeing. What we do know is that Gianna's visit was not a warning but a test. A test that even Gianna isn't aware of."

"The Volturi are testing us? For what?"

"Not the Volturi, Jane. She's trying to see what we will do. Whether we will change you now, or wait."

"Why is that important, why am I so important?"

"Well, for one thing, we would have one more in our coven to help if we were attacked. Being a newborn, you would be incredibly strong. Of course you would also be unpredictable."

In my mind, the image of Bree returned clear and haunting. I looked ahead without speaking.

He looked at me with apprehension, but continued. "And because you are not affected by her ability, she probably anticipates you having an ability that will make taking us out more difficult. It would work in her favor to get rid of you before coming at us."

I sighed, and turned to look out the window.

"I'm sorry if I scared you Bella," he said. "But you always want me to be honest with you now don't you?

I nodded without speaking.

"There's not much she can do in the next few days. Alice sees her focusing on her takeover rather than us. But," he said with obvious concern, it will become an issue, and one that I will need to discuss with the Denali coven. It will not affect our honeymoon Bella. Alice is keeping her eye on things, and Jasper is working on strategies to protect us. I don't want you to worry about it now, alright?"

I just looked at him, without answering. My mind was trying to absorb the turn of events. I was weighing what the odds were of two vampire wars in one year. Then I remembered it was me in the middle. Of course, the odds favored the impossible…

"Bella," he said bringing me out of my thoughts, "alright?"

I knew, given Edward's cautious nature when it came to me, that if he was comfortable enough to wait until talking with Denali, then that would have to suffice. Nevertheless, my heart told me something different, I chose not to listen, but to focus on Edward and our wedding night.

"Bella?" he pressed.

"Alright, Edward" I answered finally. "I won't worry about it…tonight."

Knowing that was the best answer he was going to get, he turned his attention back to the highway in front of us.

I saw the familiar highway landmarks heading toward Port Angeles.

"Port Angeles?" I said a little disappointed.

"No, Alaska, remember? Really Bella, even if it wasn't Alaska, don't you think I could come up with something better than Port Angeles?"

"Sorry. So why are we going to Port Angeles then?"

"Well actually we're going to the Port Angeles airport" he said with a grin.

"We're flying to Alaska?" I said my interest suddenly peaked.

"Uh huh."

"Ok this is starting to get interesting."

"I'm glad you think so"

I began to wonder what Alaska would be like. Would it all be snow and ice? I hated snow I reminded myself. Of course, I never really minded anything as long as I was with Edward.

"Will it take very long to get there?" I asked.

"A couple of hours"

We pulled into the Port Angeles airport, and parked. We took our luggage out of the trunk, and began to walk toward the airstrip.

"Wait" I said, "what about the car?" Despite my aggravation over Edward's insistence on buying me a new car, I had become attached to it. Mostly because it was Edward that had given it to me.

"Emmett and Jasper will pick it up tomorrow" he answered.

When we neared the airstrip, I saw a small jet plane waiting for us. The plane was ready to take off, only waiting for us to come aboard. An attendant greeted us at the stairs and welcomed us aboard. He took care of the luggage, while Edward led me into the plane. The plane was as luxurious and well appointed as anyone could have wanted. The passenger cabin was discretely separated from the cockpit & utility areas, with white leather seats, a wet bar and large screen television. Another door sat at the back of the cabin. I looked timidly at the door and Edward said "Go ahead and take a look."

I peered through the door, and saw a lavish bedroom with a large bed, with deep red and gold accents.

"Too ostentatious for my taste" Edward commented behind me.

He wrapped his long arms around me and whispered "wouldn't you like to lie down?"

I felt my whole body from scalp to my toes begin shaking.

"In the air?" I asked timidly.

He laughed behind me. "Well as much as I might like to, I think it would be better if we wait until we're on the ground don't you?"

I exhaled and nodded.

"It's just that you look dead on you're feet Bella" he said. "When we do get to our destination, I would like it better if you were awake" There was a hint of anticipation in his voice. "Unless you've changed your mind, and would like to wait?"

He waited for my answer; no doubt, part of him really hoped that I had changed my mind. But nothing was going to dissuade me from my wedding night.

"No Edward, I haven't" I said with finality.

He sighed, picked me up, and laid me on the bed, and lay down next to me and said "Then, I would like you to get some sleep while you can."

"Aren't we supposed to have our seatbelts on?" I asked.

"It's ok," he said winking at me, "the captain works for us."

I sat straight up and asked, "Edward, do you own this plane?!"

He smiled impishly. "No, we own this plane; a wedding gift from Carlisle and Esme. You can redecorate the bedroom any way you'd like."

My mouth dropped slightly open as I tried to imagine the obscene amount of money that Carlisle and Esme had spent. Of course, Edward didn't waste the opportunity. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I pulled myself firmly against him, and returned his kiss in kind. He suddenly became rigid, and gently but firmly pushed me away.

"Not in the air, remember love" he said with a husky voice.

I lay back on the bed, closed my eyes, and tried to calm myself. Edward leaned on one elbow watching me.

As soon as I was coherent, I asked, "Do you Cullen's ever worry about the insane amount of money you spend on things?"

"What good is money if you can't spend it? And didn't you forget to include yourself in that question, Mrs. Cullen?"

He smiled triumphantly at me and added, "And you did say I was allowed to buy your presents now, correct?"

"Yes" I said smiling and yawning at the same time.

"Well, I assumed that extended to the rest of the family" He looked down at me and smiled warmly. "Now you look like your about to pass out, so please get some sleep."

I didn't argue, but snuggled against his cold chest, and closed my eyes.

"I love you Edward" I said, before I dropped off to the sound of his velvet voice humming my lullaby.

I woke to the sound of the landing gear coming down. Edward was still there with his arms around me. He kissed my forehead and said "We're here love."

"Alaska?"

"Near Summit Lake" he said nodding.

I had never heard of Summit Lake, but it sounded beautiful. As the plane came to a stop, we gathered the few things we had carried on, and exited the plane. The first thing I noticed was the biting cold. It was not snowing, but it was still cold. I was glad I had brought a parka. The cold suddenly reminded me of the night Edward, Jacob and I had spent in the tent, before the war with Victoria and her newborn army. I shivered at the thought. Edward, misunderstanding pulled me closer and said "It will be warm in the car."

Our luggage was being loaded into a waiting Hummer so huge that reminded me of Emmett.

"Is this Emmett's?" I asked without thinking.

Edward laughed and said "I can understand why you would ask that, but no it's not. It's a rental.

Once our bags were loaded, we got in, and were on our way. It was now around midnight, but thanks to my short nap, and anticipating the night ahead of us I was fully awake. Despite the late hour, there was lightness to the sky, as though it were just before dawn. As though suspended behind a thin wispy veil, I could still see the stars in the pale night sky. We traveled for about an hour, but at Edward's breakneck speed, we could have covered 4 hours distance. We spent the time talking about the wedding, and how pleased Alice must have been with herself. We talked about the food, the music, everything but our impending consummation, or at least our attempt at it. Edward took a turn down a side road, that went on for another few minutes. All of a sudden, the headlights lit up a cabin of considerable size. It had a wrap around porch, and a huge intricately carved front door. We stopped and exited the car.

I looked over the impressive log home and said with apprehension, "Ours?"

He smiled and said "Another rental."

I started up the steps, heading for the door, when Edward suddenly picked me up in his arms and said "Do you really want me to have to tell Alice I didn't carry you over the threshold?"

I laughed and said. "Oh heaven forbid!"

Edward laughed and effortlessly carried me into a huge great room, with a fireplace large enough to stand in. Edward quickly started a fire burning, and it bathed the room in soft firelight. The mantle was carved with images of caribou, moose, mountain lions and wolves that seemed to dance with the fire.

"How beautiful" I said almost to myself.

"I couldn't agree more," Edward said, but he wasn't looking at the mantle.

I looked into his eyes, and saw another fire there.

I stammered, and barely squeaked out "I need…um...my…um…my luggage."

He seemed amused at his effect on me, and kissed me lightly, set me down and said he'd be right back.

I took the few moments it would take Edward to get the bags and return to scan the room. It was all things northern. The Inuit décor, the wood accents, the rough log furniture, all created a cozy, romantic atmosphere. Looking at the mantle, I looked at the carving of the wolf, and suddenly Jacob leap into my mind. I almost stumbled back with the strong feeling of my memories of him. I felt a surge of guilt, and turned away from the mantle. I found Edward had been standing behind me. I looked down, unable to hide my feelings of guilt.

He pulled me to him, lifted my chin, and softly said "Jacob?"

I looked at his understanding face, and said "I'm so sorry Edward. I saw the wolf, and it reminded me of Jacob. I didn't mean to think of him now, tonight."

"Bella, we've been through this. Jacob is part of you now, and I will not be jealous of your memories."

"When you said you didn't deserve me this morning," I said, "you had it backwards Edward, it's me who doesn't deserve you!"

"Well, we can argue the point tomorrow. Tonight, let's concentrate on…being together, shall we?"

I suddenly remembered what awaited us, and I asked "where are the bags?"

"Upstairs in the bedroom" he said with a smile.

"Of course they are." I smiled in return.

The huge staircase was the same as the front porch steps, half logs, debarked and polished to a high shine. They were embedded in the log walls, giving them a suspended feeling. The master bedroom was large and airy, and decorated like the rest of the home, in the Inuit style. To the right was an arched log opening to a huge bathroom. The floor was covered in black granite, and in the center was a spa-sized bathtub. Through the bathroom was a walk-in closet and dressing room, including a vanity and mirror. To the left were double doors which led out to a balcony which covered the entire front porch. In the middle of the bedroom was a platform upon which was centered what had to be a king sized bed. It was constructed of rough logs, and was covered with a soft fur coverlet. The coverlet was scattered with red rose petals. Next to the bed, Edward already had a smaller more intimate fireplace flickering with burning logs. A bucket with a bottle of champagne was on the opposite side. My cheeks were suddenly crimson, as I realized it was time to collect on our bargain.

"I'll need a few minutes?" I said.

"Take all the time you need."

I found the bag I was looking for, and headed for the bathroom. I looked at him and smiled before I closed the door. I sat down on the edge of the tub, and put my head between my knees. I didn't want to let Edward know I was light headed. He was under enough pressure with what we were about to attempt, and I didn't want to add to it. I opened my bag, and found a lace gown that Alice no doubt had combed half the vintage clothing stores in North America to find. It was a circa 1918 peignoir set made of a pale pink silk, trimmed with delicate galloon lace, seed pearls and petite silk ribbon. The robe was sheer and had gently billowing sleeves which gathered at the elbows with more ribbon. The gown was sleeveless, with a vee in the back which extended down the small of my back. An amusing thought that I was not old enough to wear something like this briefly passed through my mind, I quietly laughed. I took my hair down, letting fall over my shoulders. To complete Alice's nostalgic odyssey, I tied a matching pale pink ribbon in my hair. I had no idea what else to do to prepare myself, and just stood looking in the mirror, not really seeing myself. I had been so obsessed with the idea of making love with Edward, that I had not given any thought to the fact that it was something I had never done before. Suddenly the normal nervousness that I assumed all new brides felt over their first…time began to surface. I tried desperately to remember everything Réne had said to me earlier. I didn't know if what she had said would help, but thinking of her and our talk, calmed me a bit. As I continued to look in the mirror, I realized Edward was waiting and I would have to come out some time. Quit being silly Bella and just go, I ordered myself. So turning toward the door, I took a deep breath, already blushing, and walked out of the bathroom.

Edward had apparently been busying himself by pouring single glass of champagne for me, and turning down the bed. He had also changed into silk pajama bottoms, and a silk robe. He had been looking out of the balcony doors, when he heard me come in. He turned around smiling, but then suddenly froze like a statue, his smile was gone, and he looked at me with his mouth slightly open. I was used to his taking this type of stance when there was danger near. I was suddenly afraid, and froze myself waiting for him to take his protective position in front of me. He didn't move. As I realized this was something different, I wasn't sure what to say, so we both stayed frozen in our places.

Finally, becoming a bit self-conscious, I spoke. "Is something wrong?" I asked timidly.

Edward must have seen the confusion on my face, because he finally relaxed a bit, and began to move slowly towards me. I had never seen the look he had in his eyes. For a brief moment, I thought I understood what it would feel like if I were in the presence of Edward the predator. I almost began to back up, when he caught me up in his arms and just looked at my face. I put my arms around his neck, and leaned in to kiss him. But he leaned away from my lips, and continued to look at me. I waited.

Finally, breathlessly, I said "What?"

He closed his eyes, touched his forehead to mine and whispered, "I want to remember how you look right now, for the rest of eternity. Bella, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, I love you."

He finally kissed me, and then carried me to the bed. He laid me down, and began to stroke my hair. "I want this more than anything in the world love, but if at any point you want me to stop, I will. You only need to ask."

I looked at him for a few moments, captured still by his beauty.

"I love you Edward," I finally replied "and I want this too." I blushed again and admitted "I'm…just…not quite sure what to do, you know?"

I looked up at him slightly embarrassed. He seemed very amused.

"Well in this area Bella, we are on common ground. This is also my first time you know."

Edward had told me he had never been with anyone in this way human or vampire. His prowess in the other areas of his life left me to assume he would naturally know how to proceed now.

Smiling warmly at me he said, "I guess we'll take it one step at a time, alright?" I nodded, and then he kissed me. For the first time, we gave ourselves over to our passion.


	9. The Day After

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

9. The Day After

I woke up the next morning, feeling wonderful at first. I looked up seeing Edward leaning on one hand looking at me. His face was guarded. I went to hug him, and gave out a gasp. Edward closed his eyes, clearly in his own internal pain. I suddenly remembered that as incredible as my night with Edward had been, his reservations about waiting had not been completely unfounded. He had tried very hard to be gentle with me, but his ardor had gotten the better of him several times, and I felt the full force of his love. As I tried to move, I felt the bruises that were now covering various parts of my body, but I knew didn't care. Making love with Edward had been everything I had hoped and dreamed of. The rough stuff was not exactly pleasant, but it did not diminish the pleasure we had experienced. We belonged to each other body and soul now. And although we had a week to go on our honeymoon, I was ready to move on to the next stage of our life. As I thought about these things, I gently stroked his chin, and pulled him down to kiss me.

"I'm sorry Bella, so sorry" he said miserably.

I put my hand over his lips. "Don't, it was wonderful Edward, I have never been so happy in my life. And I wouldn't have changed anything about last night."

Edward looked at me stunned. "How can you say that Bella, after what I did to you last night?!"

"I rather enjoyed what you did to me last night" I teased, trying to lighten the mood. It wasn't working.

"It's not funny Bella," he fumed. "I could have killed you last night!"

"No, you couldn't have" I said matter-of-factly.

"Oh really?" He said, becoming angry. "You don't think the bruises on your body are an indicator of my ability to kill you?"

"Edward, I am perfectly aware that you can kill me. But I know you wouldn't have killed me last night because you were in control."

"Look at yourself, look at your body! You call that controlled. How can you call that controlled?"

"Because, when you became…um…over excited…when I asked you to stop you did. You told me all I had to do was ask, and when I did, you stopped. You were in control."

He looked at me confused, almost exhausted. I sat and let him ruminate about what I had said.

"Just when I think you've done all you can to stun me Bella, you come up with something new."

He sat against the headboard of the bed, pinched his nose and closed his eyes shaking his head. An exasperated groan escaped his lips. Rather than move and rediscover my bruises, I laid my cheek against his hand and barely whispered

"You were worth every bruise Edward."

He opened his eyes, and looked down at me with such love I thought I never wanted the moment to end. It did though, as he very gently lifted me onto his lap, and hugged me as gently as though I would break in his hands. I winced and moaned a little, bringing new concern to his face again. I just looked at him and smiled, until his expression matched my own.

"You are so precious to me Bella," he whispered "and making love to you was the most incredible experience of my life. But, I cannot stand the thought of ever hurting you again. Please can we wait now until you're like me, before we make love again?"

His voice was pleading; and even if the bruises he had given me weren't enough inducement to make me agree; I could never deny the pleading in his eyes.

"Yes Edward," I murmured in his ear, "of course we can wait.

But thank you for last night; I will remember it for the rest of my life."

As I kissed his neck, he said "It was my pleasure."

We laughed, and got on with the day.

After I had finished eating, we sat on the balcony and looked out over the vast tundra that surrounded the remote cabin. Because of my bruises, and accompanying soReneess, we decided it would be best for me if we took it easy and stayed near the cabin. We took a short walk around the cabin took in the breathtaking scenery. Like Forks, the Summit Lake area was covered with grey clouds, affording Edward the opportunity to be outside during the day. The surround area was alive with wild flowers, lichens and wild life. We were lucky enough to see Ptarmigan darting here and there, and a family of hares. Overhead a large bird circled, Edward with his sharp eyes said it was a bald eagle. There were patches of blue Lupine, which looked like large blue carpets thrown about the tundra. In the distance, snow-capped mountains rose above the tundra; silent sentinels in the spacious landscape. As the day wore on, we returned to the cabin, and I took advantage of the whirlpool tub. As I soaked finding immediate relief for the temporary mementos of my wedding night, Edward timidly came into the bathroom and sat to watch me soak.

"Why don't you join me?" I said.

"You don't mind?" he asked shyly.

"Just get in" I said impatiently.

He stripped and slid in. "Hmmm…I could get used to this."

"You can't expect me to believe you've never been in a Jacuzzi Edward."

"Not one with such a spectacular view." He shot an insinuating look in my direction.

"Oh, have you changed your mind about waiting?"

He suddenly looked panicked and said quickly, "No Bella, we can't, I can't, I…"

"Shh…"I interrupted. "I'm just kidding love, I'm very happy to wait."

As I shifted in the water, my love battered body convinced me of the wisdom of that decision. His face immediately relaxed, and he smiled at me.

"But" I said, "there nothing dangerous about snuggling right?"

He laughed and pulled me to his lap. He massaged my shoulders as the warm water worked wonders on my bruises.

Later we spent the evening enjoying being in each other's arms talking, and listening to music that Edward had brought with him. I began to understand the true extent of my husband's obsession with music when I realized that one of the suitcases he brought had been entirely devoted to CD's.

I got up to get a coke from the wet bar and stopped dead in my tracks. Looking out of the window, I saw an incredible site.

"Edward!" I said excitedly.

Fearing I had seen some impending danger, he jumped up and was by my side in what seemed like a fraction of a second.

"What, Bella, what is it?"

"Look" I pointed out the window.

Edward looked; an excited smile spread across his face. "Put your parka on" he said almost in a laugh.

I grabbed my parka and bundled up. We walked out onto the porch and looked up. Flickering across the sky, the northern lights were dancing. Like a magical ribbon blowing in a slow steady breeze, they ebbed and flowed, changing from brilliant green to an azure blue. The twinkling stars behind created a vision so spectacular, it outdid Alice's fireworks.

I've seen the lights many times in the last 90 years," he said "but every time I see them it's like seeing them for the first time!"

I loved his enthusiasm, and his sense of wonder. Looking in his eager eyes as he watched the dance of light, I saw a different Edward. Not Edward Cullen the vampire, but Edward Mason the green eyed 17-year-old boy that Carlisle saved so long ago. I felt overwhelmed with a new measure of love for my husband. It was another memory, in a growing list of memories I was determined to keep after my conversion.

I turned my attention back to the natural spectacle in the sky. As we watched, I was in awe. I had seen photographs of the northern lights, but none had done them justice. "It's so beautiful Edward, I've never seen anything so beautiful."

"I have."

Once again I realized his eyes were not looking up they were looking down at me. He lifted me in his arms and kissed me. I could feel his body become tense, and mine responded in kind. He suddenly froze, and he slowly let me down.

"The next few days are not going to be easy," he said.

Lightheaded, I had my eyes closed and I was clutching his jacket.

"I know what you mean" I said breathlessly.

"I think" he began, "It might be better to cut the trip a little short?"

I looked up at him. "A little short?"

"Well, since the reason for the extended stay here was to…um…facilitate…our efforts,"

I giggled.

"And we've survived, so to speak," he looked at me smiling but still harboring a twinge of guilt, "perhaps we should join the family early."

I thought about the real implication of what meeting the family would mean; my becoming a vampire. No, Edward would not rush me; in fact, if he had his way, he would have me wait indefinitely. However, there were other considerations concerning the timing of my changing. The Volturi and Jane of course, being the most immediate but not the most pressing in my mind. Edward wasn't aging, and I was. Common sense told me, that a few years really wouldn't matter once I was changed. But in my heart I knew that for our lives together to truly begin, becoming Edward's equal, a vampire would have to happen first. We had been through too many perilous situations to doubt it.

Being accident-prone was not my worst peculiarity. As Edward had once pointed out, I seemed to attract danger. One of my worst fears was something happening to me before I was changed. I didn't fear for myself, but for Edward. Our marriage, the bonding together of our lives forever brought into sharp relief for everyone else what I had always suspected. We were soul mates, two halves of one whole. Being together we completed each other, apart we destroyed each other. The bitter memory of my time apart from Edward still haunted me even now that I was his wife. I knew I could never survive another such separation. What I had also come to understand was that being separated from me left Edward with the same desperate emptiness. An emptiness so painful, that when he thought I had killed myself jumping from the cliffs at La Push, he plotted his own demise, hoping to enlist the help of the Volturi, willing or not. I never wanted Edward to consider destroying himself again. I knew that I needed to change and as soon as possible. The timing, like everything else in our lives seemed strangely right.

"Well it seems as though it's fate!" I said.

Edward's face took on a friendly but serious expression. Although he had been the one to suggest going early to meet the rest of the Cullens it seemed as though he could not let go of his aversion to my becoming a vampire. "You know Bella, you still have a choice, you don't have to do this. Not just so we can…so I won't…" he stopped, not really knowing how to finish his sentence.

While he was searching for his next words, I interrupted.

"How can you say that after last night Edward?"

His face betrayed the guilt he still felt over hurting me. Closing his eyes, and putting his head in his hands, he said "I'm so sorry Bella. Esme told me not to forget I was a gentleman, and what did I do? I behaved like an animal. I hurt the one I love the most! I'm not a gentleman, I'm a monster!"

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger. I realized he was repentant, but I didn't want him to feel that way about making love with me. It seemed wrong, not the way a husband should feel. It only reinforced my resolve to go ahead with my plans.

"Edward!" I said a little too sharply.

His head snapped up and he looked at me a little intimidated, which for some reason, pleased me. Perhaps it was because I felt I would not get much of an argument from him now.

"I'm not accusing you, I'm trying to make a point."

He said nothing, so I went on.

"Do you want our life, the short time you would have with me if I stayed human to be filled with fear and recriminations because you may hurt me?"

Still he didn't answer.

"Or do you plan on us trying to abstain for the rest of our lives? Won't that be fun?!" I said sarcastically.

I was in full force now.

"And then there's the little issue of me getting older, and you staying young."

He looked as though he was about to speak, but I raised my hand and continued. "I don't want to be an old woman married to a 17 year old boy Edward! And oh yes…the Volturi and Jane who's now gone off the deep end, let's not forget about them! And what about…" Before I could continue my tirade, Edward took me in his arms, and silenced me with a passionate kiss. It was not just passionate; it was aggressive, and deliberate. I responded, as he knew I would, and by the time he set me back on my feet, I had trouble remembering why I was carrying on.

He held me close, rested his chin on my head, and sighed, "Bella you win! I can't fight you on this anymore. I still don't know if it won't cost us our souls but…"

I interrupted "It's my soul Edward and…" he placed his hand over my lips.

"But" he continued "I know you're right about the rest of it."

He lifted my chin and pierced my soul with his eyes. "I…want…this Bella! Not for you; I never wanted this for you, I want this for me! I won't live without you, and I can't imagine one day, let alone a lifetime of having you near and not being able to make love to you."

I sighed in agreement.

"This makes it official Bella; I am the most selfish creature that ever lived."

"No," I murmured, leaning my head on his chest.

"Yes," he corrected, "I am. I am because I won't settle for just part of you Bella. I once thought that would be enough, and if I were truly the gentleman poor Esme thinks I am it would be. But I'm not, heaven forgive me I'm not. I want everything you are Bella. I want all of you, body and soul. So let's call Carlisle and let them know we're coming home."

His face was on fire with emotion! His eyes though they had begun to darken with thirst, seemed to burn brighter than I had ever seen before. I knew that I already was his body and soul, and that he was mine. But seeing his fervor for changing me matching my own for the first time sealed it irrevocably. Nothing would stop us now.


	10. Dejavu

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

10. Dejavu

The next morning after Edward had called Carlisle with our decision, we discussed our travel plans. Edward, angry though he was at Tanya for her rude display at the wedding, agreed to visit Denali at Carlisle's request. In light of Gianna's message, and Alice's confusing visions, Carlisle felt it was important to maintain the good relations the family had with the Denali coven. We would drive over to the Denali settlement, stay the night, and take the plane out of Anchorage back to Port Angeles the next day. There we would wait for the rest of the family to join us, and we would all then fly to Ithaca, where Carlisle and Esme had already set up the new house. Edward had called the pilot and had them already in the air headed for Anchorage to wait for us.

With our plans set, Edward decided he should hunt before we left. He felt badly about leaving me alone but I told him I would do some hunting myself, making something to eat in the kitchen while he was gone. I also wanted to call Charlie and Renee, to let them know how we were doing. It was a good thing Edward's more than adequate bank account could afford him…us; I had to remind myself…a satellite phone. Satisfied that I would be fine for a couple of hours on my own, he left in search of caribou. He really hoped for grizzly, but knew he would have to settle for whatever was in the immediate area.

I raided the well-stocked refrigerator for lunch, wondering who would end up with the cornucopia of food Edward had had laid in for me for the week. I couldn't help laughing at the amount of food that was supposed to be for just me. I made an impressively large sandwich, poured a glass of milk, and sat in front of the massive fireplace. As I ate, I thought about having to see Tanya and Irina again. I understood Carlisle's reasoning, but I had to admit I was a fearful about having to see them again. I tried to convince myself it was because I was angry about their rudeness. I knew it was more than that; it was my first impressions of Tanya. She disturbed me, and I was afraid of her. I focused on their rudeness as the issue though, and the memory of Rosalie's insurmountable rebuff, gave me not only pleasure, but comfort as well. I smiled at the thought of the turning point of Rosalie's and my relationship. It almost made the whole Tanya experience seem worth it; almost. I decided to concentrate on my phone calls.

I finished my sandwich, and called Renee. She was thrilled to hear from me so soon. She and Phil were back in Jacksonville already. She went on about how perfect the wedding had been, and what a handsome couple Edward and I had made. She timidly asked about how the wedding night had gone, and hoped her suggestions had helped. I laughed when I briefly considered telling her about the souvenirs my husband's passion had left me with. Of course, I knew I couldn't. No need for Renee to think her daughter had married a wife beater. I told her it was wonderful, perfect, the way it should be, and in my mind, it was. We chatted on about her and Phil, his building baseball career. Seemed nobody realized that Phil truly was a brilliant ball player, and despite his recent injury had a great future ahead of him. I was glad that my mother would be well taken care of. Finally, I told her I had to call Charlie. She asked that I say hi to him for her. I agreed, and promised to call again soon. I knew the call would be postponed for a few months, until I was more able to talk. I told her I loved her and said goodbye.

After I hung up with Renee, I decided to sit on the porch while I called Charlie. The overcast sky reminded me of Forks, and so gave me the comfortable feeling of home. That got me thinking about our new home in Ithaca. Carlisle had decided it would be an easier transition to go back to the home they had relocated to after Edward left me. I winced at the thought, but recovered quickly. Edward and I had decided to continue to live with the rest of the Cullen's. This would be more comfortable for Edward of course, but would also be best for me. The first few years after becoming a vampire, would be the most difficult. The strongest instinct I would have would be to feed. To make sure I learned control over the thirst, and to be safe around humans, the family would have to keep close guardianship of me. It would be a family effort, and one that I did not take for granted. I had felt the Cullen's were my family for a very long time. I was drawn to them like I had been drawn to Edward. I loved them and I was thankful that I would have them as my family, when I could no longer be in contact with my human parents.

As I was about to dial Charlie's number the phone began to vibrate in my hand nearly causing me to drop it. I looked at the number calling and I didn't recognize it. For a split second, I did nothing, and then automatically I answered. "Hello?"

"Bella." a voice said.

It was not a question. The voice was strange, almost electronic, as though it had been purposely distorted. I couldn't tell who it was, but something deep in the recesses of my mind warned me not to say too much to whoever it was.

"Yes?" I answered guardedly.

"You are swimming in dangerous waters Bella," the voice said. "You have entangled yourself in a world that you have no business in. Unfortunately your fate is sealed."

I did not speak, but I could feel my heart pounding.

There was a short silence, perhaps waiting for me to respond. The voice continued, "But your husband and his family could avoid your fate if they are wise, or better still if you are wise."

This one sided conversation seemed so familiar, as though I'd heard it before.

"You could separate yourself from them; let them get on with the life they are meant to lead."

I should have been more afraid, but I was filled with a sudden defiance and I answered "Perhaps you should give Edward the warning. I'm sure he would be happy to talk to you. Shall I get him for you?"

"Edward is not our problem…for the moment. However, he and the rest of the Cullens will be very soon, unless you take action. Leave him…today…now!"

The line went dead. I closed the phone gently, and collapsed on the porch. Suddenly, I realized why this call was so familiar. It was terrifyingly similar to a phone call I'd received in a small airport motel room in Phoenix. The call when James arranged to get me alone to kill me, claiming he had Réne, threatening to kill her if I did not comply. Edward had rescued me then; my real life white knight, my hero, my husband. I was as afraid for the Cullen's now, as I had been for my mother then. Nevertheless, one thing I knew with no doubts is that I would never comply with leaving Edward. I would never allow anything to separate me from him again. I knew no matter what happened, I had to be with him. Then I suddenly felt how much I wanted to be with him now; how alone I was in this remote location. Not knowing when Edward would return, I began to panic. What if this someone was already in the vicinity? What if they were already stocking me here? I jumped to my feet, and looked wildly in every direction, seeing nothing but the tundra. Without thinking, I screamed Edward's name! I knew he was probably not within earshot. He would have tried to do his hunting far enough away from me, that there would be no chance of me being hurt. I ran into the empty house, it offered no comfort. I began instinctively locking the doors and windows, all the while knowing, that what I had to be afraid of wouldn't be kept out by locks. I slid down to the floor, behind the couch, watching the windows and door, waiting for either Edward, or someone, something else to come.

As the minutes went by, I began to imagine all my worst vampire nightmares. I saw James alive and deadly, and coming towards me in the darkened dance studio. Then in my mind, was Laurent. Polite, sophisticated, lethal, and ready to make a meal of me. Next was Victoria with her red hair like fire, and her eyes full of hatred for me, wanting revenge for James. Last in my macabre parade came the Volturi and their evil minion Jane. I could see her angelic face smiling, and using her special ability on me; this time successfully. I began to hyperventilate and sob at the same time. I could not quell the terror in my heart. I thought about the pain Edward would endure if I was to be killed now, after all we had been through, all that we had suffered, and all the joy and passion we had shared. It would destroy his heart and soul, and I knew he would complete his destruction to extinguish the pain. It brought on a very familiar hollow pain in my center. My body instinctively curled up in the position I had relied on during the dark days of my separation from Edward. I held myself while my mind then focused on the rest of our family. I saw thier faces, beautiful and brave, but out numbered and under attack again; and again it was over me. My mind could not endure more, a new round of sobs came, and I began crying Edward's name loudly and without restraint.

I had no idea how long I had been waiting when the doorknob started rattling. Coming my senses and I let out a blood curdling scream! Suddenly, the heavy front door exploded inward and Edward was at my side pulling me into his arms.

"Bella!" he practically yelled my name, "what is it, what's wrong!?"

I could not speak, I could only cry, and I did even after I had no tears left.

After what must have seemed an eternity, even to Edward, I was calm enough to explain what had happened. Edward growled under his breath, and held me closer. He said nothing for a long while, just held me until I was myself again.

Slowly he stood up still cradling me and sat on the couch.

"Ok we'll need to talk to Carlisle, and decide what we're dealing with."

"I don't think there's any doubt" I said, "The Volturi are giving me an ultimatum. We waited too long, I'm out of time. No second chances, remember?"

I shuddered as I spoke.

Edward kissed my head. "Don't worry sweetheart, I will never let anything happen to you."

I nodded, and held him tighter. It didn't matter what happened now, I would never leave his side of my own accord.

Edward called Carlisle and explained everything that had happened. As I listened, I could hear the concern in his voice, and sensed from his conversation that Carlisle was just as concerned.

"No I don't think that would be wise, not now" Edward said to Carlisle. "Alice still hasn't anything concrete? He listened and continued. "I agree we need help."

He paused again and listened.

Then again he spoke "Ok, tell them we'll wait for them in Denali. Yes, she will understand we have to sort this business out first. Yes, we will, and you do the same. Tell Esme we send our love, goodbye."

Edward hung up the phone and looked at me seriously.

"What?" I said with apprehension.

"Carlisle thinks we need to move and right now, and I agree. We're going to pack up, and head for Denali today. He believes Kate and Eleazar will help, at least to shelter us until we can decide what to do. He's sending Alice and Jasper to meet us there. They'll be there late tonight or tomorrow, as soon as they can get a flight into Anchorage.

"Bella, we'll have to wait to change you until after we figure out what's happening. You would be completely vulnerable if we were attacked while you're changing."

He looked at me as if I were going to accuse him of subterfuge.

"I understand, Edward, I really do. Just promise me you won't leave me."

Edward set me down; my legs were a bit shaky. He held onto me, and steadied me.

He kissed me tenderly and said "I will never leave you again!"

One last stray tear streaked down my cheek.


	11. Denali

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

11. Denali

It was fortunate that we hadn't really had time to unpack completely. It took Edward less than 10 minutes to have all our belongings, the bags and me in the Hummer. He left an envelope in a lockbox outside the cabin containing a thick stack of large bills to pay for the ruined door many times over, along with a note blaming the destruction on a rogue Grizzly.

Minutes later, we were flying across the dirt road that reminded me again of the night James set his sights on me. Edward must have been reminded of it too. He looked at me and said sadly "you were right Bella, it does seem like old times." I smiled at him and said nothing.

Once on Highway 3, we began the long trip to Denali. It would take the average person driving a grueling twelve hours to get there. At the speed Edward was driving, I estimated we would get there in just over three. By now, I was used to the inhumanly fast speeds at which all the Cullens drove. It was hard to hold a conversation with danger hanging over our heads…again. As much as Edward and I were destined to be together, it seemed danger was always pursuing us. I wondered if there would ever be a time when we would be at peace. I had a very real feeling that the answer might be no. I hoped I was wrong. The emotional roller coaster I had been on that day and the long drive took their toll on me, and as I watched my husband drive, I slipped into unconsciousness.

I was walking alone on the tundra near the cabin. It was daytime, but the northern lights were still dancing bright in the sky. In the distance, I saw Edward waving to me to join him. It was strange I could have sworn we had left the cabin. Shrugging off the feeling that something wasn't right, I started walking towards Edward, who continued waving to me. At my feet, blue Lupine was everywhere, thick and beautiful. I stopped to pick one of the little wildflowers. When I stood up, halfway between Edward and myself I saw a figure that filled me with terror! I recognized the familiar red hair burning like fire. Her features were just as beautiful as before. She moved lithely like a cat. It was Victoria, I had no doubt. Intense confusion overtook me. Victoria was dead; Edward had killed her weeks ago. I had seen the white remains of her body burning. What was she doing here?

She began to move slowly but deliberately towards me. I wanted to run, but felt as though my feet were affixed to the ground, I could not move. Victoria's face was not the distorted face of hatred and thirst she wore the day she attacked Edward, Seth Clearwater and I, aided by her newborn acolyte, Riley. She was smiling, and her expression was one of friendship. But there was something about her eyes…something not right. They should have been pitch-black, burning with crimson around the edges, but they were not. They were light, honey-gold, the color of a vampire who hunts animals instead of humans; eyes that should make me feel safe. But as her smiling face got closer, I felt the fear rising in my chest as I saw Edwards face beyond was horrified. He began to run towards me behind Victoria. I knew even at his speed, the distance would keep him from reaching me in time. He was yelling for me to run. As Victoria came closer, her face distorted into the Victoria I knew; filled with hatred and bloodlust, yet her eyes remained the same honey-gold. Terror overtook me as Victoria began to reach for me. Edward continued to yell, "Run Bella, please!" but for some reason my body still would not function. I could not make my legs move. As Victoria grabbed my arm with a painful iron grip, Edward still too far away to help screamed "Bella, NO!"

I screamed as Victoria threw me to the ground. As she snarled over me ready to strike a deathblow, a deafening howl pierced the tundra like thunder! Victoria seemed taken off guard, and looked past me her face frozen in horror. Suddenly an enormous brown wolf sped past me and smashed into Victoria. I fell flat on the ground as I heard Victoria screaming, and a sickening snapping and crunching.

From the ground, I could no longer see Victoria, and a brief sense of relief washed over me. The relief quickly fled though, when I realized I couldn't move. None of my limbs responded, and I had the distinct sensation of heaviness. So much so, that it was becoming increasingly more difficult to breathe. My mind desperately commanded my body to move, but it was as if the two parts of me no longer had a connection.

As Edward finally rushed to my side, he stopped short, a look of horror on his face. The brown wolf was staring intently at me, shifting back and forth on his front paws whining in what seemed to me to be desperation. Edward looked at the wolf almost with recognition, and shook his head as if he and the wolf had some silent communication between them. I tried desperately to speak to Edward, but the words would not come. The wolf stopped its constant movement for a moment and looked intently at me, giving me a feeling of calm. It then turned its eyes back to Edward and resumed nervously shifting and whining. Edward's face looked conflicted and grief stricken. He looked at the wolf one last time meeting the wolf's penetrating stare. Then he turned his gaze back to me. I looked into his amber eyes and was able to smile. He smiled back, not the crooked smile I loved; it was different, deliberate, disturbing.

Edward gently picked me up from the ground where I was frozen, and cradled me in his arms. The wolf seemed more agitated and tense, as though waiting for something. Suddenly I was struck with a new terror when a predatory growl came from Edward's lips. For the first time since really knowing him, I was afraid of Edward! Panicked I looked into his face expecting to see the wild black eyes that he had watched me with that first day at Forks high school. I had been afraid of him that day. But it wasn't the same, because I hadn't known who and what he was. His eyes were still warm and amber colored, and they seemed to be comforting, but at the same time desperate. He closed his eyes, and without warning pulled my throat to his sharp teeth and sunk them in!

I woke in a cold sweat and alone in the hummer. Gasping rather than breathing I called Edward's name and turned my head expecting to see him in the seat next to me; I was alone. I grabbed my throat, and finding it intact, sat breathing heavy, my heart pound. After a minute or two, I looked around for Edward, not finding him. As the shock of the dream began to fade, my fear of being alone began to grow. I looked around and saw lights ahead of the Hummer. As my eyes passed over the rearview mirror I suddenly thought I saw something moving around the back of the car; a huge shadow like figure. Something rocked the Hummer, and thought I heard the handle on the back door being tried. Before I could scream, Edward opened my door, and pulled me out. Standing with him were three other vampires. I looked quickly behind me towards the back of the hummer, and saw nothing.

I looked at Edward and wanted to be in his arms, but as I looked at him, the fear of my dream surfaced, and I settled for taking his hand. He must have seen the apprehension in my face.

He looked intensely at me; I kept my eyes down, offering no explanation.

After a moment, he made introductions.

"Bella" he said, "Irina you know," Irina gave me a less than cordial smile and briefly nodded in acknowledgement.

"And this" he continued "is Carmen, Eleazar and Kate."

"Hello" I said timidly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella," Carmen said warmly, extending her hand to me.

I took her hand and she pulled me into a warm hug, and then passed me to Eleazar.

"Charmed Bella" he said kissing my hand.

Next it was Kate's turn. "It's so wonderful to finally meet the love of Edwards life!" she said hugging me.

Irina grew impatient with the pleasantries, and turned and headed back towards a huge lodge that I hadn't had time to notice.

"Well" Eleazar said "It's cold, and you've had a long trip. Why don't you come inside and take your rest."

"Thank you Eleazar," Edward said "thank you for your hospitality."

"You are always welcome here Edward."

Edward noticed I was shaking slightly and said, "Let's get you inside before you freeze."

"I'm not cold" I lied. I was cold, but not just from the weather. My dream had left me frigid with fear, but I felt it best to wait until we were alone to talk to him about it.

"Humor me," he said. He looked at me with concern and whispered "What is it Bella? What's wrong?"

I just shook my head. "When we're alone, alright?"

He nodded, his face was worried.

As we approached, I noticed the huge lodge that was the home of the Denali vampires. The Lodge spread out on both sides of the main entry to reveal several large wings, which spread out in spider like fashion. A large porch ran the length of the front of the Lodge. It's smoothly polished log walls were a rich deep rust color, with a massive double door entry. As we stepped onto the wide porch, I noticed the warm amber firelight coming through the window. It did give me a small feeling of comfort. Edward encouraged me inside through the double doors. Once inside I surveyed the large, rustic home. All along the center of the main room were polished great logs of white pine, which held up the open beam ceiling made of slimmer versions of the support logs. The support logs were intricately carved with what I assumed was the natural flowers and plants of the area. Above, the ceiling beams angled in from the sides of the room to support the main gable log. To one side of the room, a natural stone fireplace that dwarfed the one in the Summit Lake cabin was ablaze with huge pieces of wood. I could feel the heat from where I stood. The floor was natural slate in many different shapes and sizes. The color of the stones ranged from deep charcoal to vibrant jade. In every conceivable walking area, tapestry rugs lay thick and comfortable. The room hung heavy with the fragrance of pine and cedar. I should have felt completely comfortable and at ease, especially with Edward safely at my side. But something deep inside told me I would find no comfort or ease in this place. Something, and I wasn't sure what, warned me, that I was being watched here, by unfriendly eyes, an enemy's eyes. With my heart in my throat, my dream the morning of our wedding came crashing into my mind.

We spent only a few minutes talking with Carmen, Eleazar and Kate before Edward begged us to be excused and shown to our room. Despite my discomfort, I sensed that the three of them were genuinely happy to have us here. In the few minutes of our initial visit, I felt a real connection with them, which was strange under the circumstances. My assumption of Denali was that it would be awkward after the exchange with Tanya at the wedding. Irina had almost immediately disappeared after our arrival, but Tanya had not even bothered to appear. I wondered where she was, but was too distracted to ask.

Kate showed us to the wing of the lodge which held our room, as well as the room that Alice and Jasper would share when they arrived.

"We will alert you as soon as they are here" Kate offered. "Please have a restful night, and we will speak again in the morning Bella."

"Thank you Kate" I said "trying to hide my uneasiness."

She smiled at me, her large amber eyes filled with warmness she said "You are very welcomed my dear."

The room they gave us has a familiar feel to it. There was a well-appointed sound system, as well as a baby grand piano in the corner. A large bookshelf filled with hundreds of CDs occupied one wall. There was also a large bed covered with down comforters and soft down pillows. I turned to Edward and asked "is this room yours Edward?"

He smiled. "I'm glad you recognize my tastes. Yes, this is my room when I stay here. I had the bed delivered to them a few weeks ago. Do you like it?"

I sat on the edge of the bed, looked around the room not really seeing it, and said lethargically "it's really nice."

His face went serious, and came and sat next to me. "Bella, you have got to tell me what's wrong" he pleaded.

I looked at him, wanting to tell him, but the image of my dream and his bite were weighing heavy on my mind, and I was unsure if I should tell him about it. But I knew I couldn't lie to Edward so I tried to distract him by asking, "Where is Tanya tonight?"

"She's hunting Bella, now tell me what's wrong!" He wasn't falling for my poor attempt at subterfuge.

"You won't be happy" I told him with pain in my voice.

"I won't be happy, until you talk to me!" He looked at me, his eyes almost crazed with concern; "Bella please!"

I couldn't stand to see him worry, so I told him everything that had happened in my dream. I couldn't look at him; I kept my eyes down, feeling guilty that his bite had upset me.

I was such a hypocrite! I knew it, I had to own it. After all isn't that what I had been preparing for all these weeks? Isn't that what I had wanted? Almost from the first moment we had declared our love for each other? But the bite I imagined was so different from the one in my dream. In my mind, I had imagined it to be loving, gentle, and perhaps erotic even. I realized it was a naïve thought; ridiculous. Edward had wisely kept the details of the process from me. He wasn't pleased when Alice shared more than a little information with me.

He had tasted my blood before, and controlled himself; it had been impossible, he said. Impossible but somehow he was able to do it to save me from the very thing I was preparing to willingly do. But in my dream, for the first time, I feared what Edward might be capable of if he were to lose control. I had never believed he would ever harm me, and in my heart, I still did not believe he could. But the fear from my dream would not leave me. Yes, I was being hypocritical, and I hated myself for it.

I continued to sit staring at the floor, waiting for him to speak. He stood and walked over to the window; I couldn't help but look up. With folded arms, he stared out into the light night sky of Denali. I could only imagine the pain I had caused him. I felt like the worst kind of traitor. I wouldn't blame him if he were to leave me now; I knew I deserved it. At the thought of being without him, the eternal scar began to tear open, and the familiar raw, debilitating pain that had caused it returned. Instinctively I curled up holding myself together. I lay on the bed facing the wall, and silently sobbed.

I didn't know how long I lay crying, but Edward never moved. Like a sentinel at his post, he continued to stare out the window. If I had had any more tears to cry, I would have, but I had exhausted my body's reservoir. So I lay clutching my ribs in survival mode. I could feel my eyes getting heavy and knew I would not be able to stay awake much longer. I took a deep breath and said "I'm sorry Edward, I'm so, so sorry." As I fell asleep, I thought I heard my lullaby.

I was burning! There was no doubt about it. I was burning, I was writhing, I was screaming. I was screaming for Edward, but he was gone. I was alone, alone in my own private hell. A hell I knew I deserved. I deserved to be here for hurting Edward. I had hurt him with my fear. Fear that I knew I shouldn't feel. Yes, I was where I deserved to be. I wanted to run from the burning but I couldn't. Just as I wondered hopelessly if it would ever end, the heat began to cool. I could feel coolness around my shoulders and along the length of my body…

I opened my eyes with a start, feeling Edward's cool arms around me. He was staring at me and smiling. For a moment, I forgot everything but his face, pale and lovely. I knew I could happily look at his face forever. As my mind caught up with me, I suddenly remembered our exchange the night before. I felt the tears begin again as the guilt came flooding back. "Why did you marry me Edward?" I sobbed. "I'm the worst person in the world! I'm a traitor, I'm a…"

He put his cool fingers over my lips "Shhh….Bella, don't cry love, and don't blame yourself."

I looked at him in amazement. His eyes, his inhumanly beautiful eyes, were kind and consoling. I was confused.

"I have to, there's no one else to blame! And don't tell me you're to blame, because you're not!"

"No Bella," he said softly "I'm not saying I'm to blame. There is no one to blame."

"What do you mean there is no one to blame?" I asked blinking through my tears.

I tried to sit up, but he kept me tightly in his arms. "Please stay" he said kissing my forehead.

"Bella we are what we are you and I. I didn't choose to be a vampire Bella, but that is what I am a. I am a predator, a blood drinker, and I am dangerous to humans, even though I control the dangerous part of my nature." He looked at me with the ancient sadness that broke my heart to see in his eyes. He smiled slightly and tightened his arms around me.

"And you" he continued, "are human, for the moment at least. You have a natural fear of me; and that actually comforts me. I have said to you, you may recall, that you could use a good dose of fear."

I had to smile a bit when he said that admitting "I do seem to remember you saying something like that."

"You've felt it before you know." I looked at him confused.

"That first day at Forks high school you felt it; in biology?"

I countered "But that wasn't the same thing Edward, I didn't know you, I didn't know what you are."

"You may have been calling it something else all this time Bella, but it is the same. I've told you humans have a natural fear of us. They probably aren't even aware of it, but it is there. We were not being ostracized at Forks high school Bella," he voice took a serious tone "we were being kept at a safe distance, and rightly so. What you experienced in your dream was a natural reaction Bella, nothing more, nothing less."

He smiled a little and added "Jacob was right when he gave you the eagle and the fish analogy. We are predator and prey Bella, and we shouldn't be in love. But we are, for better or worse as the minister put it. We are the exception to the rule, and that always brings peripheral problems with it."

I stared at him unable to speak. A hundred plus years of living would certainly give someone a better perspective on things. But after listening to him explain my fears to me better than I could have ever explained them myself, I began to realize the depth of my husband's mind and soul. Yes, there was no doubt in my mind, Edward had a soul. No one who really knew him, who had listened to his wisdom and compassion, could ever doubt it.

He looked at me with an apprehensive smile and said "Tell me what you're thinking Bella."

"You really don't hate me for being afraid?" I wanted reassurance.

"You are my wife Bella, and I love you; that will never change. If you stand by your decision to join me in my fate and change, or if you decide to remain human, even if you decided to leave me, I will always love you Bella, for eternity."

I saw the pain in his eyes that came when he mentioned me leaving him. It matched the pain in my center that had resurfaced the night before. I held on to him tighter and said "I thought when you were looking out the window without saying anything; I had hurt you so much you couldn't look at me"

He smiled sadly. "No sweetheart, I wasn't hurt. I knew that the fear from your dream was still fresh in your mind. I didn't want you to look at me and be afraid, and I couldn't take looking at you with fear of me in your eyes. I'm so sorry Bella if I hurt you."

I softly touched his lips with my fingers. He closed his eyes as I passed each one over his mouth. Then as he opened his eyes, I said "remember, you said no one is to blame. So no one needs to be sorry for anything right?"

"Right." He softly kissed me and we held each other until we heard a light knock at the door.


	12. Aliances

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

12. Alliances

Edward placed me back on the bed and went to open the door. I looked out the window, realizing it was morning. The grey Alaskan daylight was flowing softly through the window. I looked in the mirror, and was horrified at my condition. A night of crying hadn't left me in the best physical condition. Without thinking or waiting to see who was at the door, I ducked into the bathroom off our room, and jumped into the shower. Kate had apparently anticipated my hygienic needs, and had supplied the bathroom with fragrant soaps lotions and creams. I used a sinfully aromatic shampoo and rinse, and scrubbed away the night's tears. As I was washing, I observed the wedding night bruises on my body, relieved that though it had only been a little over 24 hours, they were already beginning to fade. I put on a luxurious bathrobe, and wrapped my wet hair in a towel. I poked my head out of the bathroom to see if we had company. I was thrilled to see Alice sitting on the bed waiting for me.

"Alice!" I cried flinging myself on the bed next to her.

She hugged me and said "So I guess I'm forgiven for the wedding huh?"

Fading or not the bruises were still painful enough that I winced.

Alice noticed my reaction, and it was then that she scrutinized my knees and wrists; the only bruised areas of my body that were visible, and gasped. "Oh Bella, are you alright?!" I turned beet red, and looked away. I didn't know if I was ready to talk about this with anyone other than Edward.

Alice got up visibly angry and began pacing around the room. Finally she hissed "How could he be so reckless, what was he thinking! Men!" She fumed "They have no self discipline at all! He's supposed to be a gentleman for crying out loud! Just wait until I talk to him!"

"No Alice, please don't do that!" I finally cried.

She looked shocked. "Bella, look what he did to you, don't you realize what could have happened?! I know you love Edward and would _suffer_ anything for him, but this is too much, and it's too dangerous. You really have to wait now until you're changed! I can't believe he let you talk him into this, or that I was so cavalier about it."

"Alice," I interrupted, "you act as if he bruised me on purpose. He did not _do _this to me; we made love. And he _was_ a gentleman." She rolled her eyes mockingly "No, he truly was. He told me if at any time I wanted him to stop, he would. And when it did get too _rough,_" I wanted to cringe, "I did ask him to stop, and he did."

Alice's face was beginning to soften. "And he and I both agreed already, that we _will_ wait now until I'm changed,."

Alice smiled a thoughtful smile, no doubt repenting of her opinion of Edward. "Very wise on both your parts."

Satisfied that she was over her tantrum, I said, "Ok now that you failed to kill me with embarrassment, why don't I just put the pillow over my head and finish the job?" We looked at each other for a moment, and then fell apart with laughter.

As I was getting dressed, I asked Alice how everyone was since the day before when we left. She told me how the reception had gone on until 3:00 am, and how grateful everyone was to the family for giving up sleep so the party could go on so long. I smiled at that thought. The Cullen's had probably been the only ones who were _not_ tired. She told me Esme had had a long talk with Renee, and promised she would keep in touch. Then I asked about Charlie, I had been so worried about leaving him. Her face was a little less animated and she said, "He lost it a little bit after you drove off Bella." She could see the pain on my face but continued. "He really loves you a lot."

She could see the guilt on my face and said, "Even if you hadn't married Edward, you would have married someone, someday."

"But I wouldn't have disappeared from his life altogether Alice." I said sadly.

"You knew this was part of your life with Edward Bella, with us." She reminded me. "Even though it's been many years for the rest of us, we have all left loved ones behind Bella. Oh, I know that I had no memory of my parents, but I have a niece you know; a niece that I will never get to know. The sacrifices we have made were forced upon us. Please don't misunderstand; we, all of us are grateful to be alive, even Rosalie. And we choose to make the best of what we have been given. Yes been given, that is how we choose to look at it. That is best anyone can do vampire or human. You on the other hand chose this with your eyes wide open Bella." I nodded my head in acknowledgement. "I want you to know Bella, that even though I have seen all along that this would be the path you would choose, I also knew you would have grief because of it. And you know Edward has felt guilty about Charlie too."

"Really?"

She nodded and continued.

"Well think about it; Charlie was really just getting to know you better Bella, and then here you are, barely two years later married. Edward feels as though he stole you from Charlie. He always felt as if he were selfish for pursuing you, a human, when he knew there were only so many options for your relationship"

_One more thing for him to have pain over_ I thought.

I sat silently as tears slowly streamed down my face.

She looked at me with compassion, put arm around me. "You _will_ be happy with Edward Bella; and I _can_ tell you this, I believe Charlie will be happy too."

I looked quickly up at her and asked "How do you know Alice, have you seen it?"

I've only seen glimpses. I don't know why I can't see more, but I have seen glimpses of him being happy.

It may have been premature, but I had a sense of relief over Charlie. It was because either I trusted in Alice's unique vision, or that I wanted to believe it so desperately I convinced myself that it was true. Whichever it was it brought me comfort and I was able to relax about Charlie, at least for the moment.

I hugged my new sister, and said "Thank you so much Alice, I don't know what I would do without you."

Prone to make jokes at such sentimental times, Alice would have normally made some sort of laughable remark, but she looked intently into my eyes and said "Edward wasn't the only one searching for you Bella. I've been expecting you for a long time."

I was shocked. "What do you mean Alice?" Just as I asked the question, Edward walked in. Alice looked at me intensely. "Someday Bella."

I knew she was not prepared to share whatever it was with me now. She left the room singing a complicated aria. Edward looked at her suspiciously, knowing it was her own method of keeping his internal radar from penetrating her thoughts. He was about to pursue the matter when, she stopped and I guessed, thought of my bruises as Edwards face became pained and he turned his attention to me. I didn't appreciate her causing him pain, but I understood she had to do what she could to maintain her privacy. I immediately forgave her.

Edward looked at the bruises on my exposed knees and wrists and winced in his own personal pain. I attempted to pull my legs up under the robe so he wouldn't be reminded. In an instant, he was at my side, and he stopped me. He looked at me with remorse; I took his face in my hands and kissed him gently. In return, he kissed my bruised knees, and my wrists, and finally my mouth and simply said, "I love you Bella."

After I was dressed and had something to eat, Edward and I joined the others in the main room of the lodge. There was what appeared to be a conference area of the room with a large wooden table and chairs. I took a few moments to study the edges of the table which had been carved into the shape of the different animals of the area. Edward and I took our seats along with the others, sitting next to Alice and Jasper. Kate, Carmen and Eleazar were seated across from us, with Irina. Irina smiled and nodded politely but tritely. I smiled in response, and sat a little closer to Edward. I couldn't help feeling that her courtesy was for the benefit of her family more than for us. We still had not seen any sign of Tanya, and it made me extremely nervous. Edward mimicking my thoughts, asked "Where is Tanya, is she not back from hunting yet?"

"Not yet" Kate answered. "We were expecting her last night, but this isn't the first time she has stayed away longer than anticipated. She will be back soon I'm sure."

Something about her absence filled me with uneasiness; uneasiness that Edward noticed. He leaned over and whispered in my ear "Don't worry Bella, we're among friends here." I nodded my head, but my mind disagreed.

As we settled in, Eleazar began. "Carmen and I have been talking about the situation we are faced with. The Volturi are apparently in the midst of a take over attempt by Jane & Alec. Alice has seen events unfolding, and I feel she should inform us of what she has seen. We all know that Alice's visions are transitory. They may shift with the path of those involved in them. We must therefore keep our perspective when decided what action if any we should take." I had a very real feeling of unease at the words take action. I looked up at Edward with apprehension; he kissed my hand that he was holding, and looked at me with reassurance.

Eleazar gave the floor to Alice; she stood up and said "as Eleazar has said, what I see can be in constant flux. However, I do see that things are happening in Volterra. To begin with, Jane has sent a contact to our family, in the form of a human receptionist. We believe Gianna was delivering a message, but also gathering information; though I doubt she had any clue. She was ascertaining whether or not Bella had been changed, or if the plans to change her had changed. We know that Jane and Alec are plotting to take over power in Volterra, but have not yet moved on Aro, Caius and Marcus. They seem to be waiting for something, some event that will signal them to begin their coup."

She looked at me. "We have agreed that Bella is the key to their timing. We know that Aro especially was interested in Bella's abilities once she is changed. We feel Jane and Alec are in fear of what those abilities might be, and we are concerned that they may move against her before she can be changed, while she is still completely vulnerable." As I shuddered at the thought, a low feral growl came from deep within Edwards's chest that everyone heard.

"So", she continued, "we are leaving first thing in the morning. We will meet the rest of our family in Anchorage, and then fly out from there. Carlisle has asked if we can rely on your alliance here in Denali. But before you make any decisions, I wanted to let Jasper speak on this matter, since he has the most experience in this area."

Alice relinquished the floor to Jasper, who stood up and began.

"What must we all understand, is that if Jane and Alec are successful in the takeover attempt, our way of life will be threatened; and their next move will be to come against us, and any other vegetarians not willing to abandon our way of life, which will include all of you." Eleazar, visibly concerned, took Carmen's hand. "We feel that even if Bella is changed before they can get to her, they will make an attempt on her life." Jasper looked intently at me, and added "If Jane and Alec move against Bella, we will defend our sister, but it is uncertain what the outcome would be. Alice has seen different things, but no concrete outcomes."

My heart began pounding so strongly; I felt it might drown out the conversation. Alice and Edward both noticed my reaction. Edward put around me, and Alice looked seriously at Kate, Carmen, Eleazar and Irina, waiting for any response. Irina looked at me in a way that reminded me of the way Rosalie had glared at me the night James came after me. Eleazar and Carmen were looking at me as though they were confused. I looked back at them, and then at Edward and the others. All that I could think of was...not again! I suddenly realized I was in danger of falling apart. I suddenly, as calmly as I could put my hand on Edward's arm and said, "Edward, I need to use the...ah…I need one of my human moments." He looked at me and quickly nodded; I excused myself and headed for our room. Once inside I locked the door, and began to cry uncontrollably. In the middle of my latest crisis, the thought came to me; all I seemed to do was cry lately. I couldn't think about anything but my family in danger, again! And it was all because of me, again! I wanted to run, to hide; somewhere Jane couldn't find me. Better still, somewhere Edward and the family couldn't find me, so they would be safe. But the truth was as painful to me as it was concrete; that even if my leaving would save them, I would not go. I would not leave Edward ever again! I began to pace, trying to figure out what else to do. I knew there was nothing I could do; nothing I could do to help, or prevent another war that threatened those I love. I ran into the walk in closet off the bathroom, found the furthest corner in. I curled up into my protective ball, and sobbed. As I rocked and cried, I thought of the life that I had wanted so badly with Edward. How much was I willing to make people suffer to get that life? I remembered Edward saying he was the most selfish creature that ever lived. I had said no; and I was right. It wasn't Edward that was selfish, it was me. I was the selfish one, willing to sacrifice the ones I loved for what I wanted. My ruminations brought on another round of tears.

I heard the bedroom door forced open, and Edward call my name. Through my tears, I could say nothing. I closed my eyes and hoped he would look somewhere else; but when he found me, I latched onto him as though I would never see him again.

"Edward" I sobbed "this can't be happening again, not again!"

"Bella" he said gently "this isn't your fault, do you hear me? This is…not…your fault."

"Stop saying that!" I yelled. "It is my fault, all of it! Ever since you met me, you and your family have been danger!"

He looked at me with wild concern, as though I was going to explode. Trying to calm me he said, "It's going to be alright Bella, Kate, Eleazar and Irina have agreed to stand with us, if it comes to that. And they're sure Tanya will do the same. We'll be fine Bella, we will."

"You'll be fine against the Volturi?!" I yelled again. "This is what they do Edward, they destroy anyone that opposes them and their rules! You all have told me you don't cross the Volturi, and I'm supposed to believe you'll be ok? I shouldn't be here!" "Bella" he tried to interrupt. "No! I shouldn't be near any of you! "Bella" he tried again. "You should have killed me that first day in biology; it would have been better for everyone!" "Bella!" he roared my name so loudly the entire closet shook I had to put my hands over my ears. I looked at his face, it was twisted in pain, and his eyes looked desperate.

"Bella, don't you ever say that again, don't you ever think it again!"

I looked at my beautiful husband trying to find comfort in his face. But I found no comfort; my mind had created a nightmarish vision in my head. All I saw was him and my family being slaughtered by the Volturi. I saw him on the ground, writhing in pain from Jane's evil stare. I saw pyres of purple smoke and I felt like throwing up, I couldn't take anymore; I felt my legs buckle under me, then things went black again.


	13. Conspiracy

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

13. Conspiracy

I awoke hearing Edward, Jasper and Alice. They were talking, talking about me. I should have told them I was awake, but I could not speak; I was too miserable. Miserable for what I had said to Edward, and because my presence was still putting those I loved in danger. So I stayed quiet and just listened. Their voices were low, almost whispers, but loud enough for me to hear.

"Edward," I heard Jasper say, "We can't stay static, we have to move, and move soon, tomorrow morning the latest."

"I know that," Edward replied "but look at her, look at the state she's in. I've never seen her like that; I don't know how much more she can take."

"We don't have any choice Edward, Its move tomorrow or we may be facing the Volturi here."

It sounded like someone sat down, and I heard Edward moan "What have I done? How could I have been so selfish? I've put everyone in danger."

"Edward Cullen!" Alice scolded. "We all agreed to your marrying Bella, we wanted it. We wanted to see you happy. Don't start drowning in recriminations now!"

There was silence for a few moments, and Jasper spoke again "Ok, so this is where we are; none of us stand any kind of chance alone against the Volturi. Eleazar and I have agreed they need to come with us. Will the plane take that many?" "Yes" Edward answered, "It's rated to take up to twenty passengers."

"Good. We have a couple of problems though, one, Tanya isn't back from hunting, and the others are worried about her. Kate says she has been staying out longer than usual lately, but never this long: they want to go and find her.

"The Volturi?" Edward asked.

Jasper looked over at Alice, "Alice?"

There was another moment of silence.

"No," Alice said, "Not yet, Jane is still waiting for something; but soon I think."

"Ok," Jasper continued. "The second problem, is we all need to feed, but what about Bella?"

"No!" Edward said in a desperate voice, "We can't leave her alone, there's no telling what she'd do! And I promised her I would never leave her again!"

"Edward, if we have to fight, it will take every one of us to win. We all need to feed to be at full strength, even you! Grizzly would be the best choice for all of us right now."

"No, she can't be left alone."

I was miserable. I suddenly felt how badly I had behaved, how selfish I had been, _AGAIN_. I remembered my chastising Edward for wanting to destroy himself when he thought I was dead, and realized what a hypocrite I had been. I felt like crying again, but now I was angry with myself. I knew I had to get a grip so my family could do what they needed to do.

"I'll stay" Alice said. "You can go with the others to feed and look for Tanya."

"No" I said, sitting up" Suddenly all three of them whipped around to look at me.

Edward was immediately at my side with his arms around me. He looked at me with worried eyes and asked seriously "how are you Bella."

I looked back at him somewhat humiliated and said "Ashamed."

"No Bella don…"he began, but I stopped him.

"No Edward, let me say this. I am ashamed. I've been acting like a spoiled child; my tantrum before seems like pretty good evidence of that. I took for granted everything, because I wanted you Edward. I'm sorry for what I said before. I'm glad you didn't kill me and wipe out Mr. Banner's biology class." I half smiled. "I just wanted to do something to make you all safe, and I knew I couldn't; I was desperate. Please forgive me for over reacting. I'm not going to try anything crazy ok?" They all looked at me a little confused. I decided a direct simple translation would be best. I spoke slow and deliberately, "What I'm saying is that you can all go hunting without worrying I'll try to kill myself."

Jasper and Alice seemed to relax, but Edward was looking at me, boring into my eyes with his. "Alice?" he asked, wanting to know what she saw.

There was a pause and then she said smiling, "She'll be good."

I put my hand on his cheek and said, "It's ok Edward, I'm not going to leave you, alright?"

His stare remained, so I reminded him of what Jasper had said. "You all have to be your strongest remember? If I need protection, don't you want to be ready?" I knew he wouldn't argue with doing everything possible to make sure I was safe.

"I have your promise?"

"Yes, my solemn word." And I meant it. "I'll just take a shower and stay in bed and read ok?"

Edward kept staring at me, but his face was relaxing into another, more agreeable face. When he smiled, Jasper and Alice decided to retreat and give us some privacy.

"Bella" he said stroking my hair, "You are my life now, don't forget that."

I looked at him, smiled and nodded.

He kissed me, and held me for too short a time, before he stood up and said, "You can stay in bed if you'd like, but it would be helpful if we were packed up.

I saluted him, "yes sir."

He laughed, "they're all ready to go, so we'll see you in a couple of hours, ok? Oh, and if there are any problems, use the sat phone to call Jasper ok?"

"Yes I will. Now go bag some Grizzlies."

He smiled, opened the door and he was gone.

After showering and packing up our belongings to leave, I realized I needed the human version of Grizzly, so I found my way to the lodge's kitchen and looked around for some food. It should not have come as a shock, but there really wasn't much food there. It looked like they had stocked up just enough for me. I did find some bread and peanut butter though, and so I dug in. After eating, I looked around the great room. They had been kind enough to leave a fire in the fireplace, so I sat and looked at a couple of books left on a table. Shakespeare's Sonnets lay open to 116. I began reading it out loud,

"_Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove, oh no, it is an ever fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken."_

I wondered what tempests we would have to look upon before this was all over. I began looking out of the giant window in the great room. It stretched from ceiling to floor, and the entire breadth of the room. I had to catch my breath when I looked across the rolling green tundra and saw towering Mount McKinley breaking the horizon. Snow capped and majestic, it was a breathtaking sight. I decided to take a walk around the property. Putting on a long sleeve sweater and parka, I headed out to explore. Having arrived in the evening, I hadn't seen the true beauty of Denali. Wild flowers abounded, and a spectacular river flowed some several hundred yards beyond the lodge. The air was crisp, and it seemed to rejuvenate me. Beyond where the hummer was parked, I saw a huge barn-like garage that was just screaming to be explored; I could not resist. Inside the garage was a collection of sports cars and SUV's. I was wondering if driving at insane speeds was a vampire thing. I started to try to identify the cars when my eye caught something silver and familiar out of the corner of my eye. A motorcycle almost the same as the one Edward had frivolously bought on a whim. Thinking I might like to ride with him someday, he had bought it before realizing that my motorcycle days were over. I had promised Charlie that I would never ride again. In addition, Edward had rightly guessed that motorcycle riding was something that I had done with Jacob, and without him, it did not have the same appeal. I looked longingly at the shiny reminder of my time with Jacob, and felt a familiar pain. _Penance_, I reminded myself.

Not wanting to bring on more memories of Jacob than I was already dealing with, I decided to re-examine the cars. Looking through the window of the fastest looking one, I thought I heard something. It was really more like a feeling than a sound. I began to get the sense that I was not alone. I quickly looked around the garage again and not seeing anything, I attributed it to being alone in a strange place. I decided, it would be better to cut my exploring short, and started to head for the door. Before I knew what was happening, a warm hand was placed over my mouth; I struggled wildly, trying to escape being destroyed by some Volturi henchman. As I realized the warmth of the hand made it being the Volturi impossible I heard a deep husky voice say "Bella, it's me!" The voice was so strangely familiar I stopped struggling. The warm hand was slowly removed from my mouth and I was released. I spun around, and couldn't believe my eyes. "Jacob?" I whispered, not believing it was really him. I looked at the impossibly large figure, recognizing the silky black hair, copper skin and deep brown eyes. He looked back at me, as though he was examining me. Finally he said with relief, "Bella, it's still you!"

Accepting that he was real, all at once without thinking I threw myself into his arms crying "Oh Jacob! It's so good to see you; I've been so worried about you!"

He smothered me in one of his bear hugs and said softly "aw god Bells I've missed you." I could hear the longing in his voice and I knew that as a _married_ woman I shouldn't be as happy as I was to be in his arms, but I had missed my friend so much, I couldn't pull away.

"Where have you been Jacob?" I finally scolded. "Billy has been worried sick about you, and Charlie is probably ready to call in the FBI!"

He looked at me with his deep brown eyes, and said with sadness in his voice, "I'm sorry Bella, but I had to be somewhere else, I just couldn't watch you marry him, you know?"

I nodded, and felt my customary guilt that I always had when I talked to Jacob about Edward. But I didn't want my friend to be I pain, so I let him continue.

"I know he's your choice Bella, and I respect that I do; but you are _my_ choice, and you always will be. I don't expect anything from you Bella I really don't. I know you're his wife, and that you will always be his. But_ I_ will always be yours, and as long as you know that, for me it will be enough. You know that night in the tent waiting for the fight; Edward told me, if you had chosen me, he would be waiting in the wings in case I left you. Well that's what _I'm_ doing Bella, I'm waiting.

My heart was so full of sadness heavier than Jacob's large arms that held me. I knew that Jacob hoped that I would change my mind about Edward. What I never could make him understand was the depth of my love for Edward; that my feelings for Jacob as strong and real as they were, were only pale imitations of what I felt for my husband.

I looked up at him; he seemed even taller than before; taller than Sam. "Are you going to wait even after I change Jacob?" I asked.

I could see the pain on his face, but I knew I had to make him see the reality of my decision. It was a reminder of the choice I had made, and I knew it was hurting him; but it was better to get it over with now.

"I will always love you Bella, no matter what,"

"Jacob you once said you'd rather I was dead than become a vampire; you remember?" I hated myself for reminding him of that, but I knew I had to play dirty to emphasize my point.

He looked at me with the pain of the wound I knew those words would inflict. "You know I didn't mean that Bella," he weakly shot back.

"I know that my friend Jacob didn't mean it, but I don't know about Jacob the werewolf.

He looked at me without answering.

I nodded, acknowledging his indecision, and continued, "You can't know how you would react to me once I'm changed Jacob. You had a hard enough time being around Edward and his family. How do you imagine you could stand to be around me?"

He closed his eyes and looked away from me. "I would find a way Bella. No matter what it took, I would find a way."

"No Jacob, you wouldn't want me then; not like you want me now." He shook his head, but I continued. "You know it's true Jacob. And what if you imprint? Then what would happen to us? "

"No, I won't! There will never be anyone else Bella, never."

"Don't you think Sam said that to Leah Jacob? You can't help what you are Jacob, anymore than Edward can."

Jacob closed his eyes, and shook his head; not wanting to acknowledge what he knew was the truth.

I knew I had said all I could to reason with him. It had to be enough for now. I ended the subject with "you will find someone, someday Jacob, I know you will."

He didn't react. He just looked at me and smiled sadly.

I couldn't argue the point anymore. I was just glad he was there, real and safe. I let him hold me, wrong, as I knew it was, because I was afraid after the exchange we had just had, if I made him let go he would disappear! I decided to take our conversation in a different direction.

"Where have you been all this time Jacob?"

"Mostly staying phased," he said. "I've been staying away from people, just running and going on instinct." I didn't want to think about you Bella; you and him I mean. I kept in touch with Sam and the pack once in a while, but I mostly kept my thoughts to myself."

Finally, slowly, he let me out of his embrace, and we sat down on the floor. "So where are the bloods…I mean the others?" He asked.

"They're out hunting" I said with just a bit of anger. "We're leaving tomorrow Jacob."

"Why so soon?" he asked. "You just got here."

I didn't want to answer. It was enough that all of us were in danger; I didn't want to involve Jacob again. Then something dawned on me.

"How did you know we just got here Jacob?" I asked suspiciously.

He tried to change the subject. "Where are you going?"

"Anchorage to catch a plane; now answer me Jacob, how did you know we were here?"

He looked at me, and knew I was not going to let it drop, so he began.

"I've been here in Alaska for some time Bella. I started in Canada, and continued north. You know I've been to the North Pole. The northern lights are spectacular up there."

"Go on I said," bringing him back to his story.

"Then I started talking to Sam a little more. I couldn't help myself, I asked him about you. How you were, whether you were still getting married, whether you were still..uh…well…ah you know, human.

I nodded in understanding, I had so much to say to him, but I let him go on.

"Sam gave me your message, and told me he had heard the word Denali at the reception. I decided to keep my eye out for you. That wasn't easy either, there's over 6 million acres in the park here." He looked at me, and could tell I was still waiting for the rest of the story.

"I was running one night towards McKinley" he gestured in the direction of the mountain with his head, "And I caught the smell of a bloodsucker."

He noticed my frustrated look. "Sorry Bella, really. It's hard to break old habits you know. It's hard to go against one's instinct."

Looking unforgiving I shot back, "Well _these bloodsuckers_ do exactly that Jacob; none of them drink human blood!"

"Alright Bella, I get it" he said repentantly. "Anyway, as I was saying, I caught their smell. I followed it here. I saw five outside talking, so I watched. Then a few days ago, I followed the light red haired one, when she went out walking one day. I thought it was a good bet that you would be coming here. I mean how many bloo…sorry…vampires could there be in the area? Then she met up with the sixth one," My heart suddenly went cold as he continued. "And from a distance I thought it might be Edward, so I…"He stopped short looking at the concern growing on my face. "Bella, what is it?

"Jacob," I whispered, "There are only five vampires living here; there is no sixth one."

He looked at me not understanding the reason for my fear. I knew I could not keep what was happening from him. I looked desperately at him, wanting so much to protect him from my current life-threatening crisis.

"Dammit Bella" he fumed, "What the hell is wrong?"

"Jacob I…"

"Shh," he hissed interrupting me. Getting quickly to his feet, pulling me up along with him he whispered "I smell a bl….someone's coming."

"It's probably Edward and the others. They might be done hunting by now."

"It's not Edward, I know his scent" Jacob said shaking his head. I had a strong sense of uneasiness after hearing that, something was very wrong.

Jacob sensing my mood put his warm arms around me. "Don't worry Bells, I'll protect you." He looked down at me with his gentle eyes and said, "I'll always protect you." Then we were interrupted.

"Very nice" a voice hissed. "I wonder if dear Edward knows what his little bride is up to." Tanya walked around one of the cars lithely and cat like towards us.

I was fairly sure that Tanya had no idea about werewolves, and I hoped to keep it that way. As she got closer Jacob began to shudder, and I tried my best to keep him calm. I put my arm around him and as he looked down at me, I shook my head. Understanding, he calmed himself, and the shuddering stopped.

"Really Bella," she said with mock concern, "if you're going to cheat, at least it could be with someone who doesn't smell like…like…well I don't know". She seemed to be struggling to find a comparison. "All that comes to mind is wet dog," She said with a smile.

Like the scene at the wedding, I did not answer her; I could not bring myself to engage her. Something about her was so frighteningly familiar. I could not put my finger on it, though I knew it was somewhere under the surface. Then a gusty breeze blew in the open garage door and blew her hair up, swirling it about her face, and suddenly it hit me...Victoria! In my dream, I had seen Victoria; Victoria with amber eyes, not crimson. I felt myself begin to shake; Jacob pulled me tighter. The gesture was not missed by Tanya.

"So you would choose this" she looked at Jacob and then back to me with disgust, "over Edward? Well then I guess I'm about to do him a favor now aren't I?" Still I said nothing, but I wanted to scream for Jacob to run. I knew what she wanted. She wanted Edward, and she was going to get rid of me to get him; and Jacob was caught in the middle. In my mind, I was screaming at myself. _Why do you always put the ones you love in danger!_

While I was mentally chastising myself, Tanya's angelic face turned cold and deadly. Jacob began pushing me behind him, and then away from him. "Get on the bike Bella, get out of here," he said not taking his eyes from Tanya. Tanya looked him and said venomously "you're a fool for what you're thinking."

Jacob flashed his brilliant white teeth at her and said, "Bloodsucker, you have no clue what I'm thinking!" He smiled a leering dangerous smile at Tanya that stopped her approach; she looked at Jacob trying to assess who and what he was. She then turned her attention to me, began to move forward, and crouched down to spring.

"Bella," he growled in a low guttural voice, "back away from me and get on that bike!" "No Jacob I…" I was about to argue but he began to shudder again and snarled at me so fiercely I jumped, "Bella! There's more than one of them; I can't hold myself…go!"

Everything happened so fast! Tanya lurched herself forward with a growl…Jacob exploded into the huge brown wolf…I jumped onto the motorcycle and turned the key. My mind switched to autopilot; I shifted the bike into gear and sped out of the garage leaving Jacob to fight Tanya alone. I didn't know what direction I was going in, I just drove, tears streaming down my face hating myself, wondering if I would ever see Jacob again. I kept shifting my eyes back and forth to each side of the motorcycle looking for the mysterious sixth vampire that Jacob had seen. My imagination went wild; I imagined legions of Volturi chasing me, yet I saw nothing, no one. I began to hyperventilate; I knew I had to stop. I looked searching to see what was ahead of me. I could see I was coming up fast to a drop off; I brought the motorcycle to a stop. Not bothering to put the kickstand down, I let the bike fall to its side, and stumbled toward the cliff. I dropped to ground trying to breathe through my tears. Jacob! I couldn't think of anything but him. Was he ok, would he be able to defeat Tanya, would he be hurt like the last time he fought vampires for me, with no Carlisle to help him? I began rocking with my fists over my eyes, sobbing. After a few minutes, I stood up again and looked back in the direction I had come wanting to see Jacob, trying to will him to come to me. Then I thought of Edward, and began to yearn to be in his arms. Where was he? Would I ever see him again? It was classic Bella I thought; _think of one and want the other_. If I hadn't known it would cause more pain to those I loved, I might have been tempted to leap over the cliff. _They would all be better off!_ "No" I said thinking aloud. I had to be stronger than that; I had promised Edward I would not think that way, and I wouldn't. I turned back to the cliff and looked out at the view, breathing deeply to clear my head, deciding whether to go back. As I looked down, I could see sharp rocks and vegetation down the long steep slope in front of me, meeting green tundra and wild flowers below. It calmed me, and I made up my mind. No matter what was waiting for me, I would go back.

I turned and walked toward the heavy motorcycle. I knew I might have to walk back if I wasn't strong enough to get it upright on my own. Thinking about it, I froze as I saw a lone figure walking towards me. I tried to lift the bike, but was unable to budge it. I looked up and was relieved at first to see Irina. But her face made me suddenly aware that she was not here for my benefit. My mind began to analyze what I was seeing on her face. It was the same look I had seen on Tanya's face, on Victoria's face, on James' face. It was the look of a predator, the look of a hunter when it has found its prey. I knew I could not lucky enough to be saved three times from the same threat. I slowly backed away from the motorcycle, moving back towards the cliff. Even if I'd had anywhere to run, I knew there would be no escape for me.

"You gave me quite a good run Bella" she said with mock appreciation. "I must say though, I'm rather disappointed with the way things turned out in Tanya's little plan. We hadn't anticipated your Indian friend showing up. I would have rather let her deal with you and I him. However, I agreed to help Tanya reclaim what was hers, and she's agreed to go with me to pay a visit to the rest of your Indian friends." Her words destroyed any doubt that she still harbored hatred for the s for killing Laurent.

I immediately thought of Tanya and Irina finding their way to La Push and the reception that would greet them there. I had been terrified that Victoria's newborn army would have been too strong for the s even with the Cullen's at their side; the odds were too even. However, I knew the two female vampires alone against the pack of Quileute werewolves would have no chance. Despite my fear, I smiled smugly. I would at least die knowing that those that had killed Jacob and me would pay for their crimes.

She looked at me, her hatred briefly changing to confusion. "You smile at the thought of us killing your friends?"

Knowing this would be the last time I spoke in this world I found my voice. "I find your travel plans funny, but please don't let me spoil your enthusiasm; you really should visit La Push, I think you'll be surprised at what you find."

Not able to grasp the reason for my defiant attitude, she became frustrated, angrier.

"You really have no sense of survival do you?" she said sarcastically. "Aren't you at least going to beg for your life?"

I smiled again and shook my head. I didn't recognize myself. The terror had transformed into a sort of righteous indignation, and resignation. I had nothing left but knowing I would never endanger the ones I loved again, and it was enough to see me through what was coming.

Irina began to move forward again, with deliberate lethal movements, as she got closer, I took off my parka exposing my throat and asked "thirsty?" I thought it would get things over with quicker.

She stopped and looked at me incredulously, and spat out, "Ugh! Is that what you think I have in mind for you?" I stood still, and somewhat confused; I said nothing but waited for the attack.

She suddenly moved forward like lightening, grabbed me by the neck and said almost in a whisper, "human blood may be the sweetest, but you all disgust me! I want no part of you in me! Besides" she added with deliberate cruelty, "there are plenty of predators here in the Tundra that will do the job nicely for me. They just need a little incentive."

It was then that I realized that she had something more painful in mind for ending my life; something slow and unpleasant. I closed my eyes, and remembered the torture I had endured at the hands of James. My terror began to return along with my survival instincts; I tried to struggle.

"Don't waste your time" She hissed.

Still holding me by the neck, she dragged me easily to the edge of the cliff, and forced me to look down.

"There; down there broken and bleeding, you'll attract more than enough attention. Grizzly or timber wolf, it doesn't matter. You'll be what you should be, carrion for the scavengers! Oh, and don't worry about Edward; I'll leave the bike where it is, he'll think you had an accident. Dear Tanya will be there to help him through his grief of course. I know you'll die comforted by that thought." She said with venom in her voice.

She swung me out over the edge, I felt my legs scrambling for solid ground and finding none. I wanted to beg but I couldn't speak. Her crushing hand was cutting off my voice as well as my air. Everything began to go dark blue and fuzzy. She leaned out towards me and said "Goodbye Bella!"

The next thing I knew I was free falling, my legs and arms scrambling, grasping, and finding nothing to hold onto. I knew I had only seconds before I hit, I closed my eyes and said "Edward."

The first part of my body to hit something was my shoulder. I felt a sickening snap, screamed in pain, and began to tumble down the side of the steep cliff. The next few seconds, was a series of impacts and pain. Slamming, crunching, and scraping, so quickly that I couldn't tell what parts of my body were injured. I only felt the pain, pain everywhere, in every limb. Then, the last impact before I stopped tumbling caused a swift pain in the middle of my back, and across my shoulders, and then it was gone. I came to a stop; my head impacted the ground so hard I blacked out. I didn't know how much time had passed until I opened my eyes. I was on my back, my head resting at a slight downhill angle that left me looking back up at the cliff above me. I saw a white figure with long chestnut hair watching me. Irina; I was too far down to make out her face, but I imagined it was smiling.

I waited for the pain that I knew must be coming. My head was aching badly, and felt very fuzzy. I could feel several cuts on my face oozing with blood. I tried to touch my face but couldn't make my arms move. My legs would not respond either! My shoulders were slightly aching, but I could not feel the break that I was sure had happened from the first impact. It became clear what _had_ happened; I was paralyzed from the middle of my back and below. My breathing was becoming labored, and uncomfortable. I could see my body raised to my eye level by the slightly rising slope. My legs were contorted and looked broken in several spots. My arms were in similar positions. In various places on my clothing were blood stains; evidences of wounds underneath. My eyes were becoming heavy, and I knew, that Irina's plan might not play out the way she had designed. Small comfort as it was, it was something. I hoped I would slip away before I became "carrion" as she put it. As I looked up at the cliff still seeing her watching me, I saw her turn around and jump as though she were startled by something. I saw her crouch down and spring forward away from the cliff's edge.

My eyes got even heavier, and I began to drift in and out of consciousness. I knew I would not last long, a gift not to be eaten by predators. In my mind, I said my goodbyes to Charlie, Renee, the Cullen's and Jacob. I wondered if I would meet him on the other side as they say. Then I saw Edward's face, beautiful, perfect, and the last thing I wanted to see in this world. I told him I loved him, closed my eyes and waited for the end.

I was floating. I felt like I was on a comfortable raft on the water. I didn't feel any pain, but my cheeks were cold. I began to hear noises, strange very distant noises, like animals howling and growling. Maybe the Grizzlies and wolves were coming; but I didn't care. I couldn't open my eyes to look, and I couldn't speak. So I just listened to the noises. The noises started to change, and come closer. They changed to what sounded like voices, voices that I recognized, but didn't. Angry, sad, sobbing, and groaning, they started to become clear enough for me to understand them.

"Oh god Bella no!" one voice said through tears. "No, no, no!"

I tried to speak, but nothing came out.

A second voice was crying, and yet it wasn't. It was so beautiful, it sang to me. "Bella? Sweetheart can you hear me? Please Bella, please; o god please no!"

The first voice interrupted, "What do we do?"

She's…I…she's got broken bones everywhere…I don't know…her breathing it's…Bella, Bella…" the second voice trailed off in agony, then it continued, "Oh no, her back it's broken, that's why her breathing is shallow!"

"What can we do?!" The other voice pleaded.

"I don't know, we can't move her, it would finish her! I wish Carlisle was here, he might be able to…god no…look at her; everything is broken, everything! There's only one thing now that could possibly...but she's so bad, I…I'm not sure it isn't already too late."

"Already too late for what?...Oh god, that?"

"I don't see any other way to save her…Bella…" The beautiful voice moaned.

"That's it then! It's worth a shot, do it!"

The second voice was sober and said, "You understand what will happen to her correct? What she will become yes?"

"Of course I do! But it's her only hope right?"

"Yes it is" the second voice said with sadness. "I never wanted this for her you know, especially like this"

"To hell with what _you_ wanted, it's because of what you wanted that she's here now isn't it? It doesn't matter now does it? She's dying, just do it before it's too late!"

There was a moment of silence, and I wondered where the voices went. I tried to ask, but all I could do was moan.

"Look Edward, I don't care about any of that now; please, please, just save her!"

"Alright Jacob, but it won't be easy to watch. Can you handle it without phasing? It won't do to have you trying to rip us to shreds now will it?"

"I can handle it, now shut up, and get to work!"

"One more thing" Edward said in a deadly tone.

"What dammit, what?"

"If I don't stop you'll have to do what you can to pull me off, do you understand? He waited for an answer, and when none came, he asked with a growl, "Do…you…understand?!"

"I understand" Jacob said without emotion.

By some miracle or by force of will, I opened my eyes. I saw Jacob alive, pacing back and forth looking at me with agony on his face. Then he was obscured by the only thing I wanted to see more, Edward's perfect face. I was full of pain, and sadness. I wanted so much to touch his face but my hands would not respond. I tried to say his name, but nothing but a whimper came out.

"Bella!" Edward moaned. He looked at my face, and cried invisible tears. He stroked my cheek.

As I looked at his face and tried to smile, I heard Jacob urgently say "Edward!"

Edward looked at me and said "I love you Bella, I'm sorry." I looked into his amber eyes, and wished I could touch his face and tell him I loved him. But, neither my voice nor my arms would respond. He closed his eyes, gently lifted my shoulders, pulled my throat to his mouth, kissed it, and bit!

I gasped through what I could only describe as a hot branding iron being placed on my skin. I opened my eyes and looked at Edward, who had pulled away. His eyes were closed, his face was contorted in a way I had never seen, and it sent waves of terror through me!

I heard Jacob gasp "Are you alright?!"

"Yes, stay back!" Edward growled, angry and territorial. "I have to penetrate the inside of her arms, and behind her knees."

I felt more movement, but nothing else.

"When can we move her?" Jacob asked.

"I'm…not…sure," Edward said. "We have to wait until her body begins to heal. We need Carlisle!"

That was the last thing I heard before the burning began. I felt as though my shoulders and head were being hit by a blowtorch and I abruptly found my voice. I started screaming "Edward, I'm burning, I'm on fire. Please put out the fire, please!"

Edwards's words floated into my ears, but they were far away and fading… "Bella, sweetheart, I know it burns, but I can't put it out, I'm so sorry Bella, so sorry…"

I heard what sounded like musical tones echoing away, and then I heard nothing but my own screams.

Burning slowly spread from my shoulders, down my arms to my tips of my fingers. Then it continued down my back and seemed to stop for a time. Then slowly again, it spread down my torso to my legs, then my feet and toes. I could not see anything but what seemed like a thick grey cloud all around me. It swirled and churned before my eyes as though I was engulfed in thick smoke from some unseen fire. I could feel the heat, but could see no flames. I felt other pains besides the heat. Sharp stabbing pains in my arms, legs and back. In my chest, my heart pounded as though it was trying to beat its way out of my chest. With each beat, I felt burning acid push through my veins. I screamed for Edward, but he never came.

I was alone, and in my mind I knew I was where I belonged for all the pain and suffering I had caused, my own private purgatory. In the brief moments between the excruciating pain and my screams, my mind was still able to function. Sometimes I had the sensation of moving, like I was falling, spinning, stretching. Other times I thought I heard noise, strange buzzing or hissing sounds. I tried to see where the noise was coming from, but nothing penetrated the dark smoky cloud that surrounded me. I wondered how long eternity really was. Thinking about it made no difference; it didn't stop the pain, the burning, or the screaming. My mind focused on Edward, his face, his eyes, his hands, and his voice; his musical voice, calling my name, calling me to him. I knew this was hell, because he was not here. The hole in all its raw agonizing pain tore open fully again, and ravaged me with pain more physical that it ever had. I tried to curl into my protective position, but it didn't even feel like I was touching my own body. Did I even have a body? I couldn't tell anymore. The only thing physical about my existence was the pain and the screams. I lost track of anything resembling time, and I lost sense of everything that my life had been. I was without purpose or identity. I was nothing!

Then without warning, the smoke began to clear a bit. I saw what resembled shadows behind the clouds. They were moving, dancing, sometimes stopping in front of me. I tried to touch them with arms I couldn't see, but I couldn't reach them. The sounds started to sound familiar, like sounds I had heard before. I thought I heard them changing, in patterns. My ears wanted to follow them, so I listened very carefully. As I tried to make out more of the sounds, I realized I wasn't screaming anymore. I was still burning, but with less intensity. I was still in pain, but not as sharp. I began to experience moments of cool sensations on different parts of my body…_my body! _Yes I still had a body; it had not been burned away! The smoke cleared a little more, and the shadows seemed to morph into rough faces, or what I thought looked like faces. I tried to feel my body; I thought I felt like I had arms and legs again. Then I felt like something cool was holding my now existing hand. I tried to squeeze whatever it was, and to my surprise, it squeezed back. I thought I heard my name, but as I listened, I didn't hear anything else. I began to feel a strange sensation, like I was floating in some thick suspension of liquid. I felt heavy, and the cloud over my eyes began to fade, then….


	14. Born Again

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

14. Born Again

…I opened my eyes, and I could see! I looked around and immediately knew where I was, Edward's room in the Forks house. I recognized the wrought iron bed; I saw the familiar wall of CDs and the wide window across the back of the room. Had it all been a dream? I tried to remember what had happened. I remembered the wedding, the honeymoon, Denali, and the attack. I remembered the cliff, the fall, and Edward and Jacob finding me. Edward, Jacob, where were they?! I was about to jump up to go search for them when I heard a faint noise to my side.

I looked and saw Jacob sleeping in a chair. I looked at Jacob as though he were a hallucination that would vanish if I touched him. Then I noticed something odd; I could smell him. His odor was musky, woodsy, like a combination of animal and human. But, there was something else I smelled; I couldn't quite identify it, but it had bitter pungent smell, I didn't like it. I looked at Jacob's sleeping face. It was peaceful, seRenee; it reminded me of when I first met him on First Beach. He looked like my Jacob. I had missed that Jacob. I felt strangely rested and strong, but I was content to lay there and look at him. I sat up, rested my cheek on my knees and just watched him. He was quantifiably older; it seemed he had aged while he had been away. Of course, I knew he had not. Like Edward, he could not age, or at least not quickly. I reassessed that his weeks on his own had not aged him, but rather had hardened him. I also realized I could hear a sound coming from Jacob. Like a soft thud, repeatedly in a rhythm all its own. I was not sure what it was at first, but out of nowhere the answer was clear to me; his heart! Odd that I should hear it from this distance I thought.

Finally I whispered his name, "Jacob" I heard his heart beat slightly faster before he opened his eyes. He stared wide eyed at me for what seemed like a long time. His expression made me uneasy at first, so I did nothing and I waited for him to speak.

"Bella?" he asked as though he was afraid.

"Hey Jake."

"Are you ok Bells?" I nodded.

He stood up came and sat on the edge of the bed. He timidly reached across and moved the hair from my face, and caressed my cheek with his large copper hand. He closed his eyes for a moment, as though he was waiting for something. He finally opened his eyes, and smiled.

"Wow," he said, "are you cold?"

"No, I'm really comfortable."

"You're sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine Jake, really. Why don't I look ok?" I was beginning to feel worried about what I would see in the mirror next time I looked. He looked at me for several long moments, turning my face slightly side to side. I felt the heat from his hand; it was so much hotter than I remembered. Finally, he answered my question.

"You look…I don't know…beautiful!"

He took me up in one of his bear hugs. "Bella I thought I...we had lost you!"

He held me, resting his chin on my head, and said, "I'll be grateful to him forever."

I could hear the break in his voice, I looked up at his face; he had tears in his eyes.

"Don't cry," I whispered, "please Jacob. Everything is fine, I'm fine, really."

As he held me, I knew I had my friend back. Even if it were only for a moment, I would take it.

I smelled the unpleasant bitter smell again, especially by his throat. "Eew, Jake, what is that smell?"

"What smell?"

"I don't know it's weird, bitter like."

I drew close to his neck again, and sniffed. I was about to complain about the smell again when I heard the noise of approaching footsteps.

"Somebody's coming."

We looked toward the door and waited.

After about a minute, the door opened, and Edward peered in. His face went paler than normal. Wide eyed but very calmly he said, "Jacob, move away from her, don't make sudden movements!"

I looked at Edward not understanding.

"It's ok Edward," Jacob said, freeing me from his arms.

Edward seemed alarmed. I continued to looking at him, still confused. He returned my stare, and looked at me with amazement.

"Bella?" he asked almost as though he didn't recognize me.

"Edward!" I said with more than a little emotion.

Jacob got up and said, "Ah…I think I'm going to head home to La Push. Billy and Sam are so excited I'm back, they're threatening to come up to the house to get me" He leaned over and kissed the top of my head and added "Love you Bells."

"Bye Jake, I'll see you soon, ok?"

He looked at Edward, who smiled and nodded. Jacob returned the smile, and left.

I turned toward Edward who slowly walked over to me, caught me up in his arms and carried me to the couch. I don't know how long it was, but we just held each other without saying anything. As he held me, I knew something was different. I didn't know what, but something. Our embrace felt, calmer, and yet more intense, familiar and comfortable, yet strangely new and sensual.

"Bella," he murmured, "I thought I'd lost you forever." He buried his face in my hair, and held me tighter and continued, "I didn't know how I was going to do it."

"Do what?" I whispered.

"Live without you," he said his voice breaking as though he were crying.

"It's alright Edward" I whispered again, "You and Jake found me, and I'm fine."

He relaxed his arms and looked intently into my eyes, with almost a confused look. "Bella, how do you feel?"

"Thirsty, I want some water,"

He continued looking into my eyes. "It isn't water your thirsty for love, but I'm surprised you thirsty already."

"What are you talking about?"

He set me on the couch, took my hands, "Bella don't you remember what happened in Denali?"

"Yes I remember."

"_What_ do you remember?"

"Tanya attacked Jacob, and I took the motorcycle to get away. Then Irina found me and threw me over the cliff." Remembering that would normally have had me shaking, but I felt strangely calm; I continued. "I was laying head first at the bottom, and I saw Irina move away from the edge. Then I was sort of out of it I guess, and then you and Jacob found me. I could hear you talking but I can't remember what you were saying. Then I sort of blacked out I guess."

"Is that all you remember?" He looked intently into my eyes.

I thought hard; my mind became sharp with clear and recognition washed over me like a wave. Chards of memory began to fill my mind. "I remember you and Jacob were arguing about something, and you mentioned Carlisle.

"That's right, do you remember anything else?"

"You were talking to me, no, you were apologizing for something…I…"

All at once, the memory of Edwards bite came flooding back into my mind. I gasped, stood up, and with wide eyes stared at Edward.

"You…you bit me, didn't you?"

He looked as though I had accused him of murder and nodded.

"I remember, oh god, Edward, I remember the burning!" I cried. "I couldn't hear anything, and I couldn't see anything but grey smoke, and it hurt so much! And…I…couldn't find you, I couldn't find you!" I put my face in my hands, tears flowing. "Where were you Edward?" I sobbed.

He took me in his arms, I clung to him, never wanting to let go.

"I was with you sweetheart the entire time" he said. "Jacob was too. He never left. I had just gone to talk to Carlisle when you came to. I'm so glad Jacob was here when you woke up. I'll always be grateful to him for helping to save you …"

As I lifted my head to look at him, he stopped abruptly mid sentence.

He held my face in his hands and looked at me so intensely; I was frightened and wanted to pull away.

"What is it?" I asked, fear in my voice.

"Bella, you're crying!" He brushed the tears from my eyes and examined them on his fingers.

"I'm sorry," I said apologetically, "it was just so horrible to…"

"Bella," he interrupted, "you don't have to apologize for crying, it's just that…well…we can't shed tears Bella."

I suddenly sat straight up and looked at him. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"But I'm fine right? I mean I should be _more_ than fine, shouldn't I?"

"Yes, but, you shouldn't be able to shed tears. I want Carlisle to have a look at you alright?"

I nodded without answering.

"Alright, stay here, I'm going to get Carlisle, I'll be right back."

As he turned to head downstairs, he stopped and looked at me. His concerned expression from the last few minutes changed to the crooked smile I loved. I a split second had me in his arms more firmly than he had ever held me. He kissed me with abandon, and I responded. I had never been able to kiss Edward without fear of either his pulling away from me, or hurting me, but those restraints were now gone, and I knew it. The sweetness of his breath that had always drawn me to him seemed to be pulling me in more strongly than ever, captivating me in an invisible cage from which I wanted no escape.

He started to pull away, "No!" I said breathlessly.

He smiled a cautious smile at me. "Yes! I have to have Carlisle look at you, and if I don't go now, I won't go at all!" He smiled again, but it was not with caution, but rather anticipation. I couldn't help but smile back and say, "Ok, go get him."

Edward returned without Carlisle but said he was waiting for us in Alice's room. He wanted the use of Alice's full-length mirror.

Once we were in Alice's room, Carlisle took my hand. "Well, it would seem our family is now complete Bella," he said warmly. He examined my face and my hands. "I would like to take a closer look at you, and ask you some questions if it's alright with you and Edward."

He looked at Edward who smiled and nodded.

"Of course Carlisle I answered

"The first thing I want you to do Bella, is look at yourself in the mirror. Prepare yourself. You are not completely different, but then you're not the same either."

Something in his voice filled me with trepidation. I slowly faced the full-length mirror, where only days before I had admired my wedding dress. I gasped when I saw the reflection.

Carlisle was right, I had not changed completely, but there were some dramatic differences. The first thing I noticed was my eyes. They were not the crimson red I was expecting, nor were they amber like the rest of the family's. They were a vibrantly intense green color, unlike any green eyes I had ever seen. I looked at Edward; he looked back at me and smiled. I wondered if he liked the new color of my eyes.

"Acceptable?" I asked.

He looked at me with smoldering eyes. "You will always be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Bella."

I looked quickly at Carlisle, feeling the blush in my cheeks. He cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow as he looked at me. Completely self-conscious, I turned back towards the mirror. I didn't know if I would ever be as comfortable as the rest of the family seemed to be with open displays of passion.

As I looked again in the mirror, I caught Carlisle and Edward exchanging questioning looks. I chose to ignore them and continue with my self-examination; and looked at my skin. It did have the white pallor that I was expecting. Something that was missing was the purple bruise like color under my eyes. My face was still my face, yet my features were polished and perfected. My face that I had always thought was unremarkable was actually beautiful to me now. My hair though it seemed a few shades lighter still looked mahogany, but seemed to shine and fall in perfect tresses. My body startled me at first. It was leaner, more muscular, as though I had been working out with a personal trainer for a year. I had never been a vain person, but I thought I understood Rosalie just a little better than before.

Finally, I turned around and looked at Carlisle and Edward, sat down and waited for the questions.

"Edward tells me you were crying Bella," Carlisle asked.

For some stupid reason, I suddenly felt as though I had done something wrong.

"Yes," I said sounding guilty.

Carlisle started by looking into my eyes with a small flashlight. "This just doesn't make sense. Of course I've never seen this color before. The only differences in color we have ever seen are the amber eyes of us vegetarians, and the crimson eyes of the others. But shedding tears, I've never seen one of our kind shed tears; not in over 300 years. I did not believe it possible."

"What does it mean?" Edward asked.

"I'm not sure, perhaps the long duration of her change might explain the eye color, but it wouldn't account for the tears."

"Wait," I said. "What do you mean long duration? How long did it take me to change?"

Carlisle looked carefully at me. "It took a week Bella. You've been unconscious for a week."

I looked at him, shaking my head, "A week? I thought you said it would only take three days! Why would it take me so long?"

"We're not sure Bella. It could have been the severity of your injuries, but I doubt it. Esme's injuries, though not as severe, were similar, and it was only three days for her."

I looked at him questions screaming in my head to numerous to voice.

"It may have something to do with your very make up Bella; your resistance to some of our enhanced abilities for instance. Edward's not being able to read your thoughts was our first clue. We don't understand why that is with you Bella, but it's unusual even for our kind. Speaking of which, Edward, would you mind?" He looked at Edward who nodded and turn towards me for a moment. "Edward smiled his crooked smile and said, "Still can't hear a peep."

He seemed pleased that I was still immune to his mind reading abilities.

"Speaking of abilities," Carlisle said curiously, "are you experiencing anything unusual Bella?"

I sat and tried to concentrate on myself, my body, how I felt. "I don't think so, ah…other than being thirsty, and feeling really well rested, I really don't feel much different."

"You're already thirsty?" Carlisle asked surprised.

"Yes, but Edward said I didn't really want water."

Carlisle looked thoughtfully at me, "I wonder…."

He got up and left the room.

"Where's he going?" I asked Edward.

Edward looked shocked, and a little worried.

"He's gone to get you some water!"

"Oh good, I feel like I haven't had water in a week" I said trying to be funny, but Edward wasn't laughing, he wasn't even smiling.

"What is it Edward?

"Bella, we don't…we can't drink water. Our bodies are in a frozen state internally; all the nutrition and hydration our bodies need we assimilate from the blood we drink. It's not what you would call digestion; and there is no need for…um…elimination. The blood is used up in the muscles, until it's depleted and we must feed again."

"But I've seen you eat food, all of you! You took a bite of pizza at school remember? And the wedding, all of you ate something at the reception."

"The small bits of food we eat Bella to keep up appearances are not a problem. However, larger amounts of food or water would simply have no place to go."

"So what would happen if you ate a large amount of food?"

"I would have to rid my body of it by vomiting, or it would decay inside. I don't think I need to explain how problematic that would be."

I just shook my head. I turned abruptly when Carlisle returned with a glass of water.

My eyes must have communicated my fear.

"Don't worry Bella," Carlisle said, "I just want you to try a little."

"Carlisle," Edward argued, "you know what will happen; she'll just have to bring it back up."

"No Edward," he said in a serious tone, "I don't know what will happen."

Edward looked at him, and then at me. "It's up to you Bella."

I hated throwing up, and I was immediately reminded of the bout of stomach flu I'd had the night I went to the movie with Jacob and Mike. I had spent a day and night on the bathroom floor. The memory made me less than enthusiastic about the water; but I was so thirsty I decided the risk was worth it.

I looked at Carlisle, nodded and took the glass from his hand. I looked at Edward; he just shook his head as if in disbelief.

"Just take small sips," Carlisle instructed.

As I started to sip the water, Edward winced a bit, and Carlisle leaned forward to observe. It seemed Carlisle was quite the scientist as well as a doctor. He watched me like a child watching an ant farm. It was almost humorous.

Edward seemed frozen as he watched me, obviously looking for an adverse reaction he was sure would come.

I did not feel any different than I ever had when drinking water. Only that I wanted to drink and not sip; so I did. I took a gulp of water.

Edward looked panic stricken, "Bella sips remember? Slow down, not so fast."

It was wonderful to have my thirst quenched, and I smiled when I was done.

Carlisle smiled a strange sort of excited smile, and said, "Well done Bella," as though I had solved a calculus problem rather than drinking a glass of water.

Carlisle smiled so wide, I had to smile back; he looked like a little boy on Christmas morning.

He asked, watching for my reaction, "How is your thirst now?"

"Fine," I said. "Better now that I've had some water."

"Then, I'd like you to try one more thing. Are you hungry Bella?" He said mischievously

Edward jumped to my side. "No, Carlisle, what are you thinking?!"

"I'm thinking there is more to Bella than any of us anticipated Edward."

Edward and I sat looking at Carlisle as he left the room again.

"What does he mean Edward," I asked, what's wrong with me?"

Edward just looked at me with worry.

"Edward, what is it? Talk to me please."

"He's going to ask you to eat some food." His face was worried.

I suddenly felt queasy, thinking about Edward's description of what would happen if a vampire were to eat large amounts of food. I tried to be positive about it.

"The water was fine Edward, how bad could eating something be? I'm sure it will be alright."

"That's just it Bella, it shouldn't be alright, you shouldn't be able to eat and drink like this…like…"

"…like I were human?" I finished his thought.

His expression was strange, almost as if he did not know me. I realized I was feeling like I always did in such situations: awkward and inadequate. I had assumed my transformation to a vampire would rid me of the oddness that had always been a part of my human life. Sitting there looking at my perfect husband, I felt out of place. I was an oddity even as a vampire.

Edward continued to look at me, examining me, as though he were unsure what to make of me. It was as though we had gone back to the beginning of our relationship.

More of my un-vampire like tears streaked silently down my face.

His expression changed when he saw my tears. He pulled me into his arms and held me. "Bella love, don't cry. Don't let Carlisle's enthusiasm upset you. Being the good man he is, the doctor he is, he is always interested in finding out more about our condition, to help make our existence easier for us and for the humans around us."

"It's not Carlisle," I said. "It's me."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never fit in anywhere Edward, never felt comfortable, like I belonged; until I met you. But at the same time, I knew that I was all wrong for you. I was so ordinary, so unlike you. I thought that once I joined you as a vampire, all my oddness and awkwardness would be gone that I would be more of a match for you. And now I'm just as much of a freak as I was before!"

He looked at me with such an expression of love I could not look away. "Bella, you have never seen yourself clearly. You are not a freak; you are beautiful. You always have been, from the moment I first saw you, and you still are Bella. You have unusual traits for one of our kind it's true," I looked down, but he lifted my chin, and stared into my eyes, "but you are still Bella. My beautiful wife, the girl I fell in love with. If you were exactly the same as you were when you were human, I would still love you."

He kissed me and embraced me tightly, and I couldn't think of anything else other than that I loved him.

"I love you too Edward."

"Do you know," he said seductively, "you still have a blush in your cheeks? That's also not possible for our kind, and I love that too!" He began to look at me with a new intensity, but one I recognized.

Carlisle surprised up both by clearing his throat, "Ahem, am I interrupting?"

We both smiled, Edward sighed and answered, "Not yet."

In his hand, Carlisle carried a plate upon which sat huge piece of cake and said, "I thought you might like this Bella."

Edward looked at my now hungry face, and with a guarded smile shrugged his shoulders.

I skipped over to the plate, took a forkful and gobbled it down.

Carlisle had such an enthusiastic look of excitement, I laughed.

Edward a little worried that I might return the cake I had just eaten, distracted himself by asking, "Do you still like the taste of the cake Bella?"

"Yes, it's really delicious. I don't know who Alice got the cake from, but they're good! In fact…"

I took the plate from Carlisle and happily ate the rest of the cake.

Carlisle laughed aloud, and hugged me.

Edward still seemed in shock.

"So" I said with a mischievous grin, "you will have to provide me with food after all!"

Remember his words from the wedding, Edward laughed and grabbed me up in his arms. "Whatever you want Mrs. Cullen, your wish is my command!"

Edward then turned his attention back to Carlisle and asked, "Carlisle what does this mean. What is going on with Bella? Why is she so different?" He held me tighter so I would not retreat to my insecurity.

"I have a theory he said, but I won't know conclusively if I'm right until I'm satisfied by two things. The first we can take care of down the hall in my study. The second will take a couple of days to play out."

His explanation seemed rather cryptic, but as was our habit with our patriarch, we deferred.

"Let's go to my study and take care of condition one, and then if you have no objection, the rest family is anxious to see Bella?" Edward and I nodded, and followed Carlisle to his study down the hall.

As he went to retrieve something from his desk, I looked at the pictures of Aro, Caius and Marcus, the Volturi. I wondered if they were still alive, or whether Jane had completed that part of her takeover plot. I suddenly felt a strange pulling sensation, as though I was being moved, I moaned and felt faint. My eyesight seemed to playing tricks on me, and I though I saw the walls of the study momentarily turn to stone, and then change back. I heard Edward's voice calling me as if from far away, and then I was cradled in his arms.

"Bella!" he cried, "can you hear me, are you alright?"

I was still a bit disorientated when I answered, "Wha…what? Yes, I'm ok, I just felt faint for a moment."

"Carlisle," Edward scolded, "We shouldn't have given her the water and food!"

"I really don't think that is what is affecting her Edward," he answered, and turned to me. "Bella how is your stomach; do you feel queasy at all?"

I stopped for a moment to see if my stomach was at all upset; it wasn't. "No, it's fine In fact, I would love something more to eat I'm still hungry."

He smiled and then said, "We will take care of that presently Bella, but I was wondering you if you would mind…" he took my arm, put a rubber tourniquet around it and reached for a syringe.

Edward jumped to my side and said, "Carlisle! You can't believe for one second that…" But Carlisle interrupted, "Can't I?" She's producing tears Edward, she's blushing. She's able to eat and drink with no adverse effects so far. How do you explain all of that? And there is still one test she hasn't had to face yet. Will she still have her adversity to human blood?" I suddenly felt nervous at the thought of seeing blood. But it didn't seem bother me as much as it would have in the past, and that gave me some comfort.

Edward was silent. I had never seen Edward as insecure as I had since I had woken up. I wasn't used to it and it unnerved me. He frowned as he considered what Carlisle was saying.

"Edward?" I asked, hoping for some encouragement.

"Bella," he said without changing his expression, do you mind?

"No," I said timidly.

He looked at Carlisle, "You'll stop if she asks you, yes?"

"Of course I will Edward."

Edward nodded in agreement, and stepped back.

"Bella," Carlisle began as he took my arm again, "you may have the instinct to look away, but I would like you to watch, if you don't mind."

I nodded and took Edwards hand in mine. I watched as Carlisle tapped the inside of my elbow looking for a vein, and chuckling to himself when he found one. He tried gently inserting the needle, but it would not penetrate. Edward and I both looked up at him waiting for a reaction.

He looked down at us and smiled, and tried again. This time he pushed with considerable force, and the needle broke. Carlisle laughed and said, "This may be more difficult than I anticipated. He turned and pulled a small scalpel out of his bag. I suddenly felt nervous about what he was going to try. Edward was about to object, but Carlisle said, "I doubt very much this will work either, or that she will feel anything. She has vampire attributes as well as human."

Edward relaxed a little and Carlisle proceeded. He held my arm down firmly, and pressed the razor sharp scalpel against my skin. The scapel broke as well.

Carlisle looking disappointed, looked down and away, obviously thinking about how to get a blood sample from me. Finally he looked at Edward and asked, "Edward, I wonder if you would mind…?"

He looked at Carlisle with disbelief, but turned to me, "Bella?"

"What?"

"Do you mind if I open your skin for Carlisle?"

I finally realized that he wanted to open my skin with his teeth.

I felt nervous, and just shook my head.

Edward brought my arm to his mouth, he hesitated and smiled at me and then too a quick nip to the inside of my arm. I felt a slight stinging sensation.

"You'd better get your sample before it heals Edward said to Carlisle.

Carlisle's eyes brightened with fervor, and Edward gasped as bright magenta colored blood oozed quickly out.

Carlisle and Edward watched me as I looked in amazement at the blood, my blood. "It's sort of pretty." I said without thinking.

"I think we can safely say the sight of her _own_ blood is no longer an issue." Carlisle said.

All three of us breathed in a heavy floral fragrance that emanated from the blood. I looked at Edward as he closed his eyes and breathed in the fragrance again. He put his arm around my waist and squeezed. "You see," he said wistfully, "why you were so hard to resist?" He just smiled and put his head on my shoulder.

Carlisle was engrossed in collecting the blood in a fresh syringe and making mental notes; "Hmm…an interesting color isn't it? And I see what you mean about the fragrance Edward, very pleasant".

Almost as soon as Carlisle was finished collecting the blood sample, the wound had begun to heal before our eyes. We both just stared at him as he worked; like a scientist finding a brand new form of life, amazed by its attributes. He looked up at us, "Oh I'm sorry really, it's just, this is so interesting, and could have so many implications, I forgot myself. Please forgive me Bella." I smiled and nodded in pardon.

Just as quickly as he had come back from his foray into the world of vampire science, it drew him back in and he asked, "Edward, do you feel thirst for Bella's blood still?"

Edward looked with apprehension at him, but then took another deep breath, and said "No. Well," he amended,

"It does fill me with a thirst, but it's for something other than her blood." He smiled a wicked smile, and squeezed my waist again. I could feel my cheeks blushing again. I wondered how invincible I was, and whether I could still die from embarrassment.

Carlisle returned a knowing smile and said, "Right then, I'm off to the hospital to analyze this sample. When I return I have another test I would like to give Bella. In the mean time before you give in to your thirst, the family is still waiting to see Bella."

In an instant, Carlisle was gone. In the next moment, Edward was kissing me without restraint and without stopping. I gave myself up to him and it wasn't until we heard a tap on the door that he released me from his kiss. He did not however release me from his embrace. He held onto me tightly pressing his ear against my chest. "Bella," he said breathlessly, "It's still beating; your heart is still beating!" He was trembling with emotion, and I knew if he had been capable of tears, he would have shed them. I sat contented until he was ready to move.

We heard the tap on the door again. Edward looked in the direction of the door for a few moments, and then back at me.

"It was Alice, they're getting impatient to see you, so we should go." I nodded, and he caught me up in his arms.

"I can walk you know,"

He smiled at me, "But I'd rather carry you."

At the bottom of the stairs, Edward put me down, and we headed toward the main section of the large room. The rest of the family seated on several chair and sofas looked up in our direction. Three additions were with them, Eleazar, Carmen and Kate. All of them rose and looked with unreserved curiosity. It almost felt like the first time I had met the Cullen family. I was worried about whether or not they would like the _new _me. We walked over and I felt like a bacteria on a slide. Their faces though relieved, almost looked confused. Edward had looked at me upstairs with the same look.

Esme came over to me and hugged me tightly and said welcome home Bella. I wanted to cry, but thought it might be too much to spring on them, so I just said "thank you mom."

She looked inquisitively at my eyes, and then smiled so warmly…._warmly_ I thought. "Warm!" I said abruptly.

"What, Bella, what do you mean?" Edward asked.

"I just realized you don't feel cold anymore," I said smiling, "you feel warm to me!"

Esme laughed with her usual comforting tone. "No Bella, we're still just as cold as ever, it's just that you are cold now also."

I turned to Edward and touched his face with my hand feeling the warmth now in his cheek. He closed his eye as though I had never touched him before. He took my hand and kissed it and said "you feel warm to me too love, but then you always did."

I smiled and continued to look at him never wanting to look away, until we were interrupted by a false sneeze with the word "whipped" underlying it.

Everyone automatically looked over at Emmett who was wearing a ridiculous grin on his face. "Hey Bella," he said with such humor, that I couldn't help but giggle. Rosalie was glaring at him, though her face betrayed how much she adored this side of her husband.

He strode over to us, and said to Edward "step aside brother." Edward obeyed with a wry grin on his face. Emmett lifted me off the ground in a tight hug. I returned his embrace as he said, "It's great to have you back Bella, and we needed some laughs around here!"

"Thanks Emmett, I missed you too."

He set me down, and I was facing Rosalie. "Well," she said, "it looks like you got your way after all." I wasn't sure how to take her comment. "But" she continued, "I'm so glad you did. I'm so glad we didn't lose you Bella!" She hugged me and I her. Then she added playfully, "Now didn't I ask you not to be too pretty? Just look at those eyes!" She was so beautiful, even now after having known her all this time; she was stunning. How could she possibly think I was too pretty? I just smiled and shook my head as she laughed.

Next Alice hugged me abruptly and said, "See, I told you, you would be one of us. But" she added, "you were one of us already Bella." Her expression turned a bit serious, "We have a lot to talk about." As Edward glared at her, she reflected his silent probing and saved the moment with, "Just wait until our next shopping trip!" I looked at her questioning her with my eyes. She kept her pixie grin, and said nothing more. I just rolled my eyes hugged her. Then Jasper took my hand and pulled me into an embrace, and for the first time with no fear or reservations. He put his cheek next to mine and whispered, "I'm so sorry Bella, for everything you've had to endure. But it brought you to Edward, and it made you part of our family; and for that I'm not sorry. I am grateful to you Bella. Thank you for staying the course and for staying with us." He kissed my cheek and moved back next to Alice. I had no words to answer him with; I just smiled and nodded. I felt tears were not far away, but still I kept them at bay.

We joined Carmen, Eleazar and Kate, along with the rest of the family. "Hello again Bella," Carmen said warmly. I could sense a degree of sadness in her voice. "You are looking considerably better than the last time we saw you dear."

"It's good to see you too Carmen." I wanted to apologize to her for Tanya, but I couldn't bring myself to. I was sorry she was in pain. But I was not sorry that…I suddenly realized that still did not know what had happened between Tanya and Jacob. Only that he had survived. Nor did I know what had happened to Irina. Kate seemed to know what was on my mind. "It's alright Bella, Tanya and Irina chose their paths; they lost their way. You have nothing to fault yourself with."

I nodded, but I still felt the pain she was suffering at their loss? I didn't know.

I looked at Edward and said, "I still don't know what happened before the cliff."

"Well," he said, "I have told everyone else what happened, and what Jacob told me. Eleazar, Carmen, Kate, do you mind hearing it again, or would you prefer I talk to Bella alone?"

"By all means" Eleazar said. "She should know what happened, after being through so much.

Edward began.


	15. First Strike

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

15. First Strike

"I suppose I can begin with what we were up to while you and Jacob were dealing with Tanya and Irina. The rest of us were heading toward McKinley; Irina was with us at first. Kate had remembered Tanya saying that she was going to hunt on McKinley for the Dahl sheep that live on the slopes." Kate nodded in agreement.

"Jasper and I have hunted Grizzly on McKinley before so we knew we'd find them there. We searched for Tanya for a long while before hunting, and finally decided we should commence the hunt and look again for her afterwards. It wasn't too hard to find enough game. Jasper, Alice and I found Grizzly, Eleazar, Kate and Irina took a few caribou. After we had finished, Irina said she thought it might be wise for her to go back to the lodge and see if Tanya had returned while we were out. After parting company with Irina, we continued looking for Tanya for about an hour. I didn't want to be away from you any longer, so I decided to return to the Lodge, while the rest of them continued to look.

When I got within a couple of miles of the lodge, I could hear the fight between Jacob and Tanya. I could hear Jacob's thoughts and knew he was fighting Tanya. I ran as fast as I could, and within a minute, I was in the garage. Jacob was holding his own he was in wolf form. I was able to read his thoughts though."

I looked at Kate and Eleazar, then back at Edward, and asked, "Do they know about Jacob?"

"Yes, there was really no way around that Bella." I nodded.

"Jacob told me what direction he thought you had gone. He told me there was another vampire, and I knew you were in trouble Bella." His face gave away the pain he was suffering from the memory of what had happened to me. I smiled to comfort him, and held his hand. He went on.

"I'll let Jacob tell you about his fight with Tanya when you see him." He looked at Eleazar, Carmen and Kate; they only smiled and nodded. I could see a hint of sadness on their faces.

"What I can tell you is that Tanya would have killed him if she could have. He did overcome her, and…after…he went looking for you as well."

Edward was very sensitive to how much he would say in front of Tanya's family. I was sure they knew that, and appreciated it.

He went on, "Getting back to my part, I was running in the direction Jacob had sent me, looking for signs that you had gone that way. I found the tire tracks of the bike, and headed in that direction.

I came up on the overturned bike, and Irina looking over the cliff..." He stopped abruptly, and closed his eyes in painful recollection. I put my arms around him and he grabbed me up and buried his face in my hair.

"I thought I had lost you, and I almost didn't want to look." I put my hand on his cheek, "It's ok love, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere!"

He put his hand over mine, and composed himself again and continued, "Irina sensed I was there, and turned to face me. She told me I was too late, and I knew that you were over the cliff. She crouched and sprung, and I met her in the air, repelling her away from me. I knew her real intent was to get away, and I let her.

I was stunned. "Irina got away?" Edward nodded looking at Kate, Carmen and Eleazar.

I didn't want to show them my disappointment, especially after they had been so kind to me, so I nodded and said nothing else.

Edward looked at me with gratitude, understanding my gesture, and went on, "I looked over the cliff and saw you at the bottom, and by that time, Jacob was beside me. We were both at your side in a moment. "It was a miracle that you were alive! I assessed you the best I could but it was so hard Bella to see you in that condition. You had multiple fractures, and you were bleeding from so many wounds that I wasn't sure you weren't going to bleed to death in front of my eyes. Jacob was beside himself, he really suffered in that moment. He blamed me, hated me for it, and I agreed with him." His look betrayed his feeling of guilt, but I smiled and shook my head. I would not let him blame himself for what Tanya and Irina did.

"I continued to examine you" he continued, "and I discovered your back was broken. In a way, it was a blessing. It kept you from feeling the pain you would have otherwise. There was so much trauma and damage Bella; I didn't think anything would save you." He stopped, visibly shaken, his brow creased in agony. "I wasn't prepared to lose you though," he said defiantly. "I knew at that point, there was only one thing that might save you. That's exactly what I told Jacob; he didn't need but a moment to agree; not that I was really asking." He looked at me, worried about how I would react to the description of my change.

"I'm fine Edward," I said, answering the question in his eyes. He nodded and continued.

"I started with your throat, with the jugular, and then I moved to the insides of your elbows and the back of your knees. I had warned Jacob to be prepared to…stop me if I lost control." He looked at me and smiled weakly.

"I truly did not believe it would be a problem for me, but I didn't have Carlisle to keep me focused; I had to do it on my own. I had to be sure I didn't hurt you any more than was necessary. So, with Jacob in place as referee so to speak, I proceeded. It wasn't as difficult as I had feared, though I think Jacob wasn't sure I would be able to resist." He smiled at me.

"After administering the bites, I called Carlisle and told him what had happened. He told me what to look for to ascertain if you were healing, especially in terms of your spine. We had to wait and watch to see if you were still able to recover. It was agonizing for a while, because I didn't know what was happening with you. I knew the venom was working because you were screaming, and asking me to put out the fire. I wanted to help so badly but I couldn't. I hated feeling so helpless, but I had already done all I could; I had to wait. It took about 12 hours until I was satisfied that your internal injuries had healed. After that, Jacob and I moved you back to the Lodge. He was so worried Bella, honestly I thought he was going to lose it. He didn't though; he did whatever I asked with no objections. He does love you Bella, he's really very decent."

Moved at how warmly Edward spoke of Jacob, I hoped it meant we could be friends.

"A few hours after we got you back to the lodge, Carlisle arrived. He stayed by your side for a day and night, expecting you to come around on the third evening. By the fourth day, Carlisle was worried; he'd never seen the transformation take this long. He was not sure what was happening and suggested we bring you home, where he had more resources if he needed them. That was three days ago. Jacob and I have been sitting with you since then. Finally, the night before last, you began to calm. Your screams began to subside, and you weren't as fitful as you had been. I was holding your hand and talking to you, and out of nowhere, you squeezed my hand! We hoped it was a turning point; though you were clearly still in pain. Carlisle decided to give you some morphine to see if we could ease it some for you. You seemed to calm down exponentially after that, and I knew you were coming back to me."

When I saw the relief in his eyes, I began to understand how hard that last week had been for him, and for Jacob. It was not the first time he had agonized over my broken body, but I was glad it would be the last. I was glad that I was no longer so vulnerable to attack. I would not be so easily hurt if there were a next time!

Edward looked at my eyes, perhaps reading the confidence in them. He stroked the line of my jaw, and continued with his account.

"I had gone downstairs to give Carlisle an update on how you were doing. When I came back up and saw you awake, and Jacob sitting next to you, I was shocked! A newborn next to a human being, even one as unique as Jacob; well, it was an impossible sight Bella. I didn't know what I was going to do if you attacked him. If he phased in response, I knew I would defend you against him, but then how could I hurt your friend, especially after he saved you? It was an impossible moment, feeling panic, anger and regret all at the same time!"

I saw the genuine conflict in his eyes. I imagined the struggle it would have been for him, having to defend me against Jacob, but not wanting to hurt my friend and rescuer. It was yet another facet to the brilliancy of my husband's soul. Even as a vampire, I felt the inequity of our relationship.

"I should have trusted in you more Bella," he continued, "but we don't usually see such deviations from the normal among our kind. None of that matters though Bella. Whatever else is going on with you, you're alive, and safe, and in my arms; nothing else matters."

He held me, as the others looked on and smiled. Again, I felt a blush in my cheeks. I thought fleetingly, it would have been nice to not blush and give my emotions away all the time, but after Edward kissed my cheeks and just stared at their color, I was glad it was there for him.

I was happy being in his arms, and then suddenly something came to mind. "Wait a minute, what about the sixth vampire? Jacob told me about a sixth vampire!"

None of the others had seemed to react much during Edward's retelling of what had happened to me. But the mere mention of the mysterious sixth vampire changed the expression on almost everyone's face. I immediately knew something was wrong. I looked at Edward, his face was unmistakably concerned, his eyes dark and his lips pursed in anger.

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't want to upset you so soon today."

I looked at him with patient determination until he knew it was no use to keep it from me.

He began, "We aren't completely sure who the vampire was, but we're certain they came at Jane's direction."

I sat without speaking, trying to weather the implications of what I had just heard.

"We suspect," he continued, "it was Demetri."

I was suddenly terrified. "Why do you suspect that?"

"I looked into Irina's thoughts and found a memory of an encounter Tanya had told her about. It was with a strange vampire, who would not give his name. However, he did say he represented the Volturi. He seemed to know about her pension for me, and her jealousy of you. He told her that if she could get rid of you, I would be available to her again, and would be rewarded by the Volturi for destroying you." A low growl came from Edwards's throat in response to his own words, but he continued. When I encountered Irina, I saw Gianna's face. Most likely, she reported Tanya and Irina's presence at the wedding to Jane. It's not surprising to imagine she heard where they were from. Jane would send someone who would be able to find their home, single them out and draw them into an alliance with her. Demetri is a tracker like James was. He would be able, based on Gianna's description, to recognize and contact them. We now believe that Tanya's long hunting trips were actually spent talking with Demetri, and sealing her pact with Jane."

"Has Jane taken over then, in Volterra?" I asked Alice.

"Not yet as far as I can see," She answered.

"Then why would they come at us now?"

"Jasper?" Edward deferred.

"A coup," Jasper began, "isn't just one big battle like you see on the news. The battle is the last stage of a strategy. Jane is putting out feelers, and trying to see where she may find allies to her and Alec's cause. They have the guard, but since the Volturi have ruled with an iron hand, there is no love lost between them and the rest of us. They have been a necessary evil, but evil nonetheless, a terrible tool for the controlling of newborns, and Reneegades, but otherwise an abhorrence to the rest of us. Which helps our situation since it makes it harder for Jane to find allies. They don't trust her. In her devoted, un-questioning service to Aro, she has well earned the mistrust of the rest of us. She has played her part too well for her current aspirations."

I looked at Jasper and absorbed what he had said. Jasper's military profession as a human, and his experiences fighting as a vampire had given him great insight.

"So attacking us at Denali was…"

"A first strike," he finished my thought. "And it will not be long until a second if we don't take a course of action soon. Jane only has so much time to make this coup work. The three masters are old, but they are cunning, and if they discover her intentions, they will have no problem persuading the guard to remain loyal. She needs to procure allies, and get rid of covens that might certainly oppose her. Of course, our family is the immediate threat, being the largest coven besides the Volturi. She doesn't want to take the seat of power by force, only to have it taken in turn by someone else. It is my opinion; she will try to eliminate our family before searching out any new allies."

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

"We are going to finish with your testing Bella," We all turned around to see that Carlisle was back from the hospital.

"Then we will try to decide the best way to deal with Jane."


	16. Freak Show

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

16. Freak Show

Carlisle spoke a few minutes with Eleazar, and then Jasper and Emmett. Then he asked Edward and me if he could speak with us, and run his last test. We went to Carlisle's study and took a seat.

"First," I want to test your reaction to blood Bella. Edward was nervous as Carlisle pulled out five vials of blood. Two of these are human, and three are animal. I would like to see what your sensitivity to different blood types.

"Ok," I said, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"Edward, I want you to sit behind Bella. If she becomes uncontrolled, it will take both of us to control her. I have Emmett and Jasper alerted. If she is too strong for us, you'll need to call for them. Edward nodded with a serious look on his face, and I suddenly become insecure about the whole thing. He took his seat behind me, and Carlisle, set up the vials on the desk in front of us.

He opened the first vile, and pushed it towards me. "Just inhale Bella," he said.

I looked at the blood, and took a deep breath, inhaling the odor. I didn't recognize the smell. The blood smelled warm, and appetizing, however it didn't particularly cause me to feel _thirsty_, as the family referred to it. For some reason it reminded me of fried food, like chicken, or French-fries maybe. I couldn't tell.

"Do you have any reaction to it? Does the blood make your throat feel dry, or burn?" Carlisle asked.

"I like the smell," I answered, "It's sort of like French-fries, but my throat doesn't feel any different."

Carlisle opened the next vile. "Try this one," he said.

The next vile smelled, gamey and rich, and had a sweet, almost intoxicating smell. It seemed familiar somehow, and I breathed in deeper. It was a thick aroma of something wonderfully heavy in the air. I felt a slight sensation all over my body, and I suddenly felt my throat become dry and a little achy, it stung a bit.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"It smells really good, I like the smell," I said. "It makes my throat feel dry and it's like I'm getting a sore throat, it stings. And it makes me feel, I don't know, tingly?"

Edward leaned in closer to me, and put his arms around me and kissed my neck; disguising his preparation to restrain me if necessary.

Carlisle opened the next vile. I inhaled deeply, and was somewhat repulsed by the smell. My face gave away my opinion of the blood.

"Describe it," Carlisle said again.

"It's smells bitter," I said, "it's sort of repulsive."

The next two vials, were somewhat appetizing like the second, but not with the same intensity.

"They smell good, they sort of make throat dry, but that's about it.

After the last two vials, Carlisle wrote some notes down in a journal and then asked, "Bella, you said your throat was dry and stung before, is it still that way?"

"Yes, a bit."

"Anything else?" he asked.

I thought about it, and then I felt the rumbling in my stomach. "I'm still hungry I said."

Carlisle seemed to be trying to decide something. He was holding his chin and looking at me intensely.

"Which would you say is the stronger need? Please take a moment, and think carefully about it."

I did as instructed, and thought a moment about which need was stronger. My throat was dry and stung, but my stomach ached as though I hadn't eaten in a year. I made my decision. "I'm hungry, in fact I'm starving."

As Carlisle wrote more in his journal, Edward asked, "Carlisle what is going on with Bella?"

"Edward I want to compile my notes and observations, and then I'll talk to you both. In the mean time, why don't you take Bella downstairs and get her something to eat."

Edward looked at Carlisle with questioning eyes for a few moments. Carlisle maintained his pleasant demeanor saying "it's alright Edward, I'll talk to you soon." He motioned with his head for Edward to take me to eat something, and finally Edward complied.

I'd never spent much time in the Cullen's kitchen. The fact that they didn't eat food meant that there wasn't much point to the kitchen. It was a vestigial room; symbolic of the human life they mimicked. Luckily, the freezer was filled with wedding reception leftovers, so I took it upon myself to dig through and find a chicken dish that I remembered enjoying on our wedding day. _Our wedding day_, it seemed like a lifetime ago, rather than a scant two weeks. I was certainly different; different and yet in some ways I was the same. I was hungry, hungry for food, and I was drinking water. Two things that I was not supposed to be able to do, that I wasn't supposed to want to do. I had blood in my veins, tears to shed, and blush in my cheeks. Something was off and though Carlisle wasn't being cryptic, he wasn't exactly being forthcoming either.

As I worked on the food, Edward was content to watch me, though I could see concern in his eyes. As the chicken cooked in the microwave, I decided I wanted to stretch my legs. We walked out onto the massive back porch, which afforded us a view of the Olympic mountain range. As we walked, I could feel Edward watching me, like I was a bomb about to explode. I finally had enough and spoke, "What is it Edward?"

He looked at me with as though he were trying to unmask a mystery. I began to get a bit irritated.

"Edward, would you please either talk to me, or stop staring at me? You're making me feel like a freak in a side show!" He continued to look without speaking, and I'd had enough. "Fine," I hissed. I turned to storm back to the kitchen.

Edward grabbed me, and held me from behind for a few moments. He turned me around and held his forehead against mine, and said gently, "Bella, I'm sorry; I am just so confused by what's happened. I don't know what it means. You know, you have always been worried about being like the newborn Bree, and of course, we expected your behavior to be somewhat wild. It's what we were prepared for. But you seem so focused, so controlled. The vials of blood would have sent any newborn into a feeding frenzy. It's unheard of Bella, and I don't know, I guess I'm nervous. Your being in such command of yourself I wasn't prepared for. It's wonderful of course, but it feels so precarious. It's hard to be comfortable with it. Can you understand?"

"Yes," I said calmly, "I understand."

I did understand him, but I was still a bit irritated, more than I should have been.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, I just want to help you through this transition, and I feel unprepared to do it."

I could see that, though Edward did not see himself as the paragon of all things capable that I did. He was used to an exacting control of himself and his environment. Ever since he had met me however, his well-ordered world had been thrown off kilter. It had been my hope, and his expectation I was sure, that once I was immortal like him, my cosmic short circuits would work themselves out; that I would fall into the familiar patterns of the Cullen family. Apparently, that was not going to be the case, and despite Carlisle's scientific enthusiasm, it disturbed Edward. I felt like I was a disappointment and I was afraid that none of my expectations of being an acceptable partner for my husband would be realized.

I felt the usual tears wanting to flow, but I held them back. I didn't want to cause him pain in addition to disappointing him. For some reason it was easier than I was used to.

I hugged him until his body felt more at ease, and said, "I'd better go and get the chicken."

He looked at me smiled and nodded. It was my attempt at distracting him from worrying about me, but I was also beginning to feel ravenous.

As we turned to walk back into the kitchen, I began to think over the last year. I had thought by now our life would have merited a little order. Everything Edward and I had faced together; James, the war with Victoria and the Volturi, not to mentions Tanya and Irina's attack. It all should have counted for something I thought.

My mind switched gears to Volturi. I didn't like thinking of the Volturi; they were a constant worry in my mind. They were already a threat to our family. Now, with Jane trying to take over, it was worse. I recalled the iconic paintings of the three masters hanging in Carlisle's study, and wondered how it was possible they could lose control. Their faces drifted through my mind. Marcus, distant, and obscure; who barely seemed conscious of the world around him. Caius; angry, bitter, and unforgiving of any deviation from their rules. And finally Aro. Aro was possibly the most frightening of the three. His manner was so refined, and engaging, and yet I felt an underlying evil about him that was only rivaled by Jane. Suddenly I felt dizzy and wobbly on my feet. Edward realizing supported me under the arms. "Bella?" he said, but his voice faded out to a low hiss and was gone. As I looked at the kitchen door ahead of me, it began to fade…no…to change. The kitchen door changed to a stone wall, dark and ancient. All of a sudden, I felt a jolt, pushing me forward. I was falling and then without warning I came to an abrupt stop!

I was alone in a tunnel, sinister and familiar. I could tell it was dark, and yet I could see. It was damp, and decay hung in the air. I was moving forward, walking. I was nervous, frightened, I felt out of control. I wasn't used to the feeling; I didn't like it! As I walked, I looked back and forth, as though searching for something, or someone. I knew I had to find them, and yet, I was afraid to find them. Then strangely enough, I began to talk to myself.

"_**I should not feel this way; I should not be put in this position! That I should be reduced to skulking in tunnels when I should be holding audience."**_

Wait, was I saying? _Holding audience? Skulking?_

"_**What? Is someone there? Who is speaking? Where are you? Show yourself! "**__** "**_

I froze! I suddenly realized I wasn't speaking to myself; it was someone else speaking! As though there was someone else in my head! I knew something was not right.

"_What…what is going on? Where am I? Who are you?"_

"_**Who am I? WHO are you? Why are you speaking to me?**_**"**

I realized that the voice was familiar and frightening. My intuition told me to say nothing about who I was. I couldn't understand what was happening, and I was beginning to panic. I wanted to run from the voice and the tunnels, but I kept moving forward. I had no control of where I was going, or what I was seeing. I finally decided to be bold.

"_Where am I?"_I demanded. _What is this place? Who are you; WHERE are you? Why can't I see you?_

"_**Where I am I can tell you; Volterra. **_

VOLTERRA! The word made me want to scream, but I remained silent, as the voice continued,

"_**As to where you are that I can be of no assistance in telling you. You seem to be floating in my head. How are you doing it?"**_

I suddenly thought of Edward. I wanted to scream out his name, but my thoughts of him were enough communication for the voice.

"_**Edward…Edward…Cullen? You seek Edward Cullen? Hm…I thought the voice was a bit familiar. Would this be Bella? **_

It knew who I was; terror washed over me. The voice was almost laughing, excited. It continued.

"_**Please do not be afraid, tell me, how are you doing this sweet Bella?"**_

"_What are you talking about, doing what? What am I doing, what is happening?_

"_**I knew you would be special, I knew it was the right decision not to end your life. But I'm being rude, how is dear Edward, and the rest of the family? What has my dear friend Carlisle…"**_

The voice stopped short.

I had a feeling as though I…we were being watched. I whirled around and to my horror was face to face with Jane, Demetri and Felix…the head of the Volturi Guard! I wanted to turn and run, but I had no control, no way to move.

"Hello Aro," Jane said with venom.

"_Aro?!" _I thought.

"_**Yes dear Bella, did you not know me?"**_

I was stunned into silence.

Jane did not seem to react to our quick conversation. With no response from me, Aro turned his attention back to her. "Jane my dear, is there a problem that you take it upon yourself to call me so familiar?"

"You would prefer," she said, her song like voice dripping with disdain, "I continue to call you master, though I have more than earned the right to use your name?"

"Should not I be the judge of that?" He asked. He leaned forward towards her, and shot out a white ghostly hand towards hers. She backed away, avoiding his touch.

"You object to my touching you?" He asked in surprise.

"I object to your invasion of my privacy, I object to your condescension, I object to your continued existence!" She snarled. She looked side to side at Demetri and Felix, then turned her stare back to Aro and nodded. Felix and Demetri began to move deliberately forward, baring there teeth. I felt Aro moving backwards.

"_RUN!" _I screamed.

Aro whipped around and began running through the tunnels, calling for the guard, and finding none to answer. I could hear the steps behind us, light and agile. I suddenly felt a crushing grip on the back of my neck and I screamed Edward's name.

Instantly I felt like I was being pulled violently backward. The tunnel walls, the dampness, and the dark, all began to fade and change. Then I found myself looking up at Edward's face. His eyes were round and wild looking, and he was gently shaking my shoulders and calling my name. "Bella! Are you all right, what is it? Bella talk to me please!"

I jumped up and looked frantically around me, "Where are they?! I asked breathlessly, "Where did they go?"

"Bella, where did who go? What are you talking about?"

"Jane, Demetri, Felix…and Aro!"

Edward was up in a flash, his eyes searching the woods behind the house.

"You saw them?" he said. Where Bella, where were they, in the woods? Were they alone; were the other guards with them?"

"No Edward, not in the woods! They were in a…tunnel…_I_ was in a tunnel…I was in..in..."

He looked at me like I was insane. "You were in a tunnel, where?"

"Volterra!" I said. "One minute I was walking towards the kitchen door, and then…I don't know I was just there in the tunnels, in Volterra!"

Edward's face went through several emotions at once. He scrutinized my face, his eyes hard, and his lips tight.

"Bella," he said, "Explain to me exactly what just happened to you."

I explained the experience in detail. He listened quietly, not saying anything until I finished speaking. "We need to talk to Carlisle," he said calmly, too calmly. "I'm not sure what this means, but I have a feeling it's important.

Edward and I met again with Carlisle in his study and again I explained what had happened.

Carlisle and Edward looked at each other with knowing expressions, and then turned back to me.

"First," He began, "Are you alright? Do you feel alright?"

I could feel a lump in my throat. I wasn't alright, I was afraid, angry, frustrated, irritated, and so many emotions I couldn't name them all. I looked at Carlisle's kind face, concerned and apprehensive. I looked at Edward's face intensely guarded. I didn't want to upset them, but I was at the end of my proverbial rope.

"NO!" I said sarcastically, "I'm not alright. I'm wrong, everything about me is wrong!"

Tears began to spill. "Typical," I said bitterly.

Edward began his usual attempt at comforting me. "Bella," he started, but I stopped him.

"Don't!" I said with a growl that took me off guard. Judging by their faces, I must have looked as un-nerved as I felt, but I continued. "The last thing I want is a pep talk right now! All I want is to know what just happened to me!" I could see a look on Edward was confused at my response to him, but I was too irritated to care.

"I think," Carlisle began calmly, "I think it will be more helpful, if before we try to analyze what happened to you Bella, we try to determine why it happened to you."

"I guess that makes sense," I agreed dryly. I couldn't be sure if it was the experience I just had or my disappointment in how I had turned out, but my irritation was growing. My stomach was churning as though I hadn't eaten in a year. My throat was dry, I felt like I needed more water…no not water… but something…

"I want to start with the tests you took earlier." Carlisle interrupted my thoughts.

I felt like I was waiting for a report card. I already felt as though I had failed, and my face must have shown it.

"Don't worry Bella," Carlisle said smiling. "We always knew you were unique for a human. Is it so unthinkable that you would be so as a vampire?

_Unique, you mean freak! _I thought to myself. I knew that he was trying to put me at ease, and despite my believing it was a kindly meant ruse, I still tried to appreciate it.

I smiled and nodded, waiting for my "grades."

Edward sat next to me and put his arm around me. I didn't react as I normally would, in fact his arm around me felt stifling, like a strait jacket. From the corner of my eye, I could see the almost hurt look on his face, but I didn't care, I couldn't move past the needling irritation that I was feeling.

"As I said earlier," he said, "I have a theory. We know Bella that you went through the transformation, but the result is curious. You are definitely a vampire, but you still have human traits. What I believe is that you are a hybrid Bella."

"Hybrid?" I asked sharply. "What do you mean?"

Edward said nothing, but listened.

"A hybrid, results from taking the strongest and best traits from a species, and adding those to those of another species. In this way you get a stronger, better species. You see it in animal husbandry, agriculture and horticulture as well.

"Oh great," I said. "So I'm an agricultural experiment gone wrong!"

"Ah, no, that's not what I meant," He said with a smirk.

"What are you saying Carlisle," Edward asked.

"I believe" Carlisle continued, "The bite Bella received from James altered her in her human state."

""But how is that possible? I sucked the venom from her hand."

I kept silent and listened. But there was a voice in my head, an angry voice. It was telling me something, but I couldn't quite understand. All I knew is that is was growing in strength minute by minute. I was finding it hard to focus.

"You did get most of the venom out, but I believe enough remained as to enable it to assimilate itself, much like a retro virus, into Bella's DNA. The process of her change had begun then, and lay dormant until more venom was introduced to complete the process. Because it became part of her human anatomy, it took on human characteristics. So when she changed, the already adapted venom was stronger than the new venom. It was the dominant force, and therefore kept its human traits, and in turn so did Bella. I believe this makes her stronger than us, stronger than a newborn even. Moreover, I believe this strength will not diminish as long as her heart beats."

"And…how long…will that…be?" My voice was laboring, and my heart was beating so loudly I thought it would drown out my voice.

"Bella?" Edward asked anxiously. "What is it Bella, what's wrong?"

The voice was screaming, screaming for me to get away, get outside and go after… after…what? I didn't know, but I wanted it!

I stood up and backed away from them, my heart pounding, my breathing erratic, and the voice in full command. I realized my throat was on fire, and I had to get relief!

Carlisle and Edward stood up very slowly.

"Be careful," Carlisle warned, "She's out of control Edward. Look at her eyes, they've darkened in color."

Edward looked at me, his face hard and tense. "Bella, it's ok," he tried to soothe, as he moved towards me.

"Stay AWAY!" I screeched at him. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me with genuine fear.

Carlisle picked up a silver cell phone, and dialed quickly. Somewhere in the house I heard the soft rhythmic ring of another phone. My eyes focused on the study door, my escape! I started moving towards it in what felt like slow motion.

In a split second, I was out the door, flying down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, I saw Jasper and Emmett blocking my way. "NO!" I growled. I leaped to my right, Emmett trying to meet me in the air, but missing. I catapulted myself along the upper wall of the entry, and smashed through a window

.

Off the porch in one swift movement I ran. I picked up speed every step. A sunny day would not have stopped me; but luckily it was cool and overcast, a typical Forks afternoon. I felt alive, free, and searching. I was looking for something, and I would find it; I _HAD_ to find it. I forgot everything, Edward, the family, my weird experience with the Volturi. Nothing else existed except to find it! I ran I don't know how many miles, and then I stopped as if I hit a wall. I stopped and detected an aroma, a heavy scent in the air; it sent a wave through my body that made me shiver. My mouth was on fire, and I knew the aroma was the key to putting it out. I moved towards it stealthily, making no sound. My feet felt so light on the ground it was if I was flying. Then I heard it…growling, hissing a warning. I came into a clearing and I saw it! Yellow-eyed, and lethal...but so was I. The mountain lion was crouched looking in the opposite direction. I hear a strange clicking sound a few yards off, I smelled a new aroma. The voice considered switching my target, until the smell resembling tobacco and beer hit me. It was repulsive. I turned my attention back to the cat. Like a shot it took off running to the east, I pursued. As we ran, I heard a distant voice say, "Dammit, there goes my trophy." I smiled and continued my pursuit. The mountain lion was incredibly fast, but it was no match for me. I finally cornered it against a small cliff. It turned to face me, and screamed a warning at me. I paid no attention, but moved slowly towards it. It crouched again ready to attack; I did the same. It was so fast; I barely could tell how I did it. The lion jumped towards me, I moved forward over it, twisting in the air. As I passed over it, I grabbed the head and twisted, feeling the neck snap! I landed and walked back to _my_ trophy. I found the warmest part of the neck, and let my teeth do the rest. It was warm and satisfying, and it made the voice rejoice and then disappear. I found myself regaining control. When I could no longer taste blood flowing I dropped the dead lion. For a moment, I closed my eyes and stood still, feeling the warmth of the blood radiate throughout my body, down my throat, through my limbs to my fingers and toes. I felt sane and comfortable again, like myself, like Bella. I opened my eyes and began to look around. I saw the mountain lion at my feet. I had not even considered the animal while I was hunting it and feeding, but I now looked at the lion differently, sympathetically. I sat down and stroked the majestic animal's head; tears welled up in my eyes, and of course, I cried. I picked up the lions head and laid it gently in my lap, stroking its head. I knew what I had done and why, but it still broke my heart to see the beautiful animal dead. Alone on the cliff, I sat with the lion for I don't know how long. I mourned the lion as though it were a friend.

"Bella?" I finally heard Edward's voice gently and cautiously behind me. "What?" I whispered as I cried.

"It's alright sweetheart."

Carefully began to lift me away from the mountain lion, but I pulled myself back to it and sobbed, "No, no! I did this, I killed it!"

"I know that Bella," he said as he stroked my hair.

"I'm a murderer, a monster, a freak!"

"You are none of those things love."

I couldn't look back at him; I just kept staring at the lion.

Knowing I was too strong for him to force me he pleaded, "please come away Bella, we can't stay here by the kill."

I finally let go of the animal, and Edward swung me up into his arms, and ran me away from my first kill. I said nothing the entire way back to the house. He seemed to understand that I didn't have any conversation in me. When we arrived back at the house, the entire family was waiting for us. I buried my face in Edward's chest, and he took me upstairs to our room. Edward put me on the bed, lay down next to me, and just held me. I knew what had happened, and I felt what it was like to "give myself over" to my instincts. I now realized now all too well, why Edward had never wanted me to see him hunt. I pulled myself closer to Edward, and said nothing. He began humming my lullaby and I just listened and silently cried.


	17. Choices

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

17. Choices

I was alone. It was cold, dark, and damp. From some distant and obscure location, I heard the faint drip of water. I was terrified, and enraged. I waited to hear if anyone was coming. I heard nothing beyond the steady rhythm of the water. I wondered how long I would have to be in this hole…

I opened my eyes. I was lying on my side, facing the immense window of our bedroom. My eyes surveyed the length of the expanse of the landscape, and I was aware of details that I never thought would be possible for me to see. At the top of a tall distant pine, I saw a nest of bald eagle chicks, being fed by their mother. Running across a mountain slope was a herd of deer. I counted three females, two fawns, and a single stag. As I pondered the view, I couldn't remember why I was here, only that I felt safe, and secure. I liked the feeling.

Then too quickly, I began to remember the hunt, and the mountain lion. My heart felt a pain of regret as I remember the limp, still animal. I began to analyze the hunt; I suddenly remember the events leading up to it. My behavior in Carlisle's study, the way I had treated Edward and Carlisle. I remembered the way I felt when I screamed at Edward to keep away, as though he were an obstacle instead of my husband. My need to feed had been stronger and more powerful than my love for him and it broke my heart. I suddenly pictured Bree in my mind, only it wasn't Bree's face I saw, it was mine. I buried my face in my hands and whispered through silent tears, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I felt his hands caress my shoulders, pull me back gently against his chest, and engulf me in his arms. I turned my body and buried myself in his embrace. I couldn't look at him, not yet. I had so much to regret, so much to feel guilty for, I couldn't find a place to start to make up for it. Edward held me without saying a word. He moved his hands gently across my back, comforting the monster that didn't deserve it. Every time I thought about breaking my silence, a lump formed in my throat, and I couldn't bring myself to speak. It seemed a very long time before I was even able to look at Edward. I pulled my head away from his chest and looked up into his waiting eyes. His face looking at me showed no signs of recriminations. I knew he would not judge me that he would understand more than anyone could. However, it didn't change the devastating guilt I felt for how I had acted. I knew he wanted me to talk to him, to put his mind at ease, that I was ok. His eyes were pleading for me to give that assurance. I loved looking into his eyes; they held me as though they were a safety net, encompassing me about with a feeling that only came when I looked at him. He smiled cautiously at me, as though trying to make sure I recognized him.

He apparently had had enough silence. "Bella," he said, "how do you feel?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but the lump was still there, and I said nothing.

"Please talk to me Bella, I can't stand the silence anymore."

"I don't know what to say," I said so low that though I shouldn't have been, I was surprised he heard me.

"Say what is ever on your mind love, just don't shut yourself away from me Bella."

"How can you want me near you after how I acted," I asked miserably. "You must hate me for the way I screamed at you!"

"I could never hate you Bella, ever! Especially not for that. What kind of hypocrite would that make me?" He kissed my forehead. "Hating you for doing what I have done myself; for what every one of us has done. You were thirsty Bella, your body was at its limit, and it needed to feed. We all have reached a point of desperate hunger Bella. I am amazed that you were able to control it as long as you did.

"But it was so strong, stronger than…" I stopped as sob came from my throat.

"Than your love for me?" he asked knowingly.

I couldn't speak I only nodded.

"Do you remember that first day in biology?" he asked. "Yes" I whispered.

"I have thought about that moment for quite some time Bella. I have concluded that I loved you that first day. In the cafeteria when I met your deep brown eyes, I knew I was drawn to you. It wasn't just not being able to read your thoughts, but was also your face, your hair everything about you. The way you carried yourself was different than the other girls. I knew we were kindred Bella, but I wanted your blood so much it almost undid us all. I know you've smelled the aroma, but it's more than that. It's the feeling that aroma sends through your body, like you were waking through the dessert and came upon an oasis of the sweetest water. Like lightening pulsing through your limbs to…"

"To your fingers and toes?" I finished

"Yes," he agreed. "And the monster inside…"

"Like a voice overpowering your will?" I said with more feeling

"Yes" he agreed again.

He did indeed understand, better than I did.

"But you didn't kill me, you were able to resist. You've kissed me and held me, and denied the…monster. I couldn't even let you near me, without snapping!" I felt bitter and miserable.

"Bella, you've been a vampire for a day; it's taken me almost a hundred years to learn the control I have. Believe me even with that control it hasn't been easy."

I nodded recognizing the sincerity in his voice.

"You must trust me Bella, you will gain that control. You already have more control that you give yourself credit for." I wasn't sure what he meant, and sensing it, he explained.

"Do you remember in the study before you…ran out, what Carlisle was saying about you?"

I tried to think about what I remembered Carlisle saying. Something about a being a hybrid, with human traits. And being strong, stronger than a newborn.

"That I was stronger than you?"

"Yes exactly. You could have hurt Carlisle or me, or even Jasper and Emmett. But you didn't, you avoided Emmett when he leapt for you. Any other newborn would have attacked, not avoided. You did very well Love, very well; please don't berate yourself for today"

His words did give me a new feeling of ease and resignation that I was not as heinous as I first thought. I knew I was making things harder, and despite my frustration with myself, I knew I wanted to make him happy. I nodded, and said, "I'll give it my best shot, but I don't know how I'm going to get through hunting, crying after every meal.

He laughed and reminded me, "That chicken you left in the microwave didn't get any tears shed over it. It's basically the same thing Bella."

I laughed when I realized the wisdom of his joke. I thought about hamburgers, hotdogs, and chicken nuggets. All had come from animals. I thought about a funny colloquialism I'd heard once, just because you eat the burger, doesn't mean you want to meet the cow. It put things in a clearer perspective.

I felt more like myself and tried to forget everything but being in his arms. I reached up and caressed his cheek with my hand. He placed his on top of mine and closed his eyes as though he was relieved. He turned my hand over, and inhaled deeply at my wrist and sighed as though he were getting a whiff of fresh air. He finally released my hand and I stretched both arms above my head, and then let the stretch go through the entire length of my body. I felt refreshed and comfortable. It was like the way you feel after a good nights sleep when you've overdone it. As I finished my stretch, I put my arms around his neck, pulled him to me, and kissed him. He responded taking me fully into his arms. My mind went blank, and I gave myself up to my rising passion, pulling myself closer to him, entangling my fingers in his hair, as was my custom when he kissed me. I felt different with him now, confident. I began to run my hands up his shirt, when he stopped me. His voice was heavy, rasping, and out of breath. "Bella?"

"What?" I said not stopping, but continuing to move my hands over his chest. My heart was racing, and I wanted him. I wanted him not just passionately but with avarice.

"Bella, please I need to talk to you."

I smiled a wicked smile and said as I continued, "So talk to me!"

When his shirt began to rip, he grabbed my wrists and gently pinned me and said breathlessly, "Bella! I have to talk to you."

I looked at his face, and I could see fire and passion in his eyes. Nevertheless, I could also see concern and impatience. I relaxed and let him sit up.

I lay letting my passion ebb away. Finally, I sat up as well and took his hand. "What is it?"

"There are things that we need to discuss concerning you and the situation with the Volturi. Carlisle would like to have a family meeting if you feel up to it."

"Well, I guess if I'm up to ravaging my husband, I can't say I'm not up for a family meeting. Though I don't think it will be quite as stimulating."

"Well, I think I can arrange our own meeting later."

We both laughed, and headed downstairs.

Once downstairs, we joined the family at a large table, which was strewn about with maps and notes. Everyone looked up as we approached. I felt my guilt return, and looked down, unable to meet anyone's gaze. Immediately Alice sat down next to me and put an arm around me.

"Hi Alice," I said without looking up.

"Bella," she chided, "you're not seriously going to feel guilty about needing to hunt are you?"

"No," I said trying to mean it.

I looked up into her smiling pixie-like face, and had to smile back.

"But I was so out of control!"

"I think," Carlisle interjected, "I know why you got to that state Bella, and why I don't think it will be a problem."

I was astonished. "Carlisle I was so irritated, and I didn't care about any of you, only what I wanted. How will that not be a problem?"

"I will explain Bella, and this will give me an opportunity to continue with what I was trying to explain to you earlier. I have explained what I told you to the rest of family already. So shall I now continue?"

I nodded, this time more eager to listen.

He smiled warmly at me and spoke, "As I said before I believe you to be a hybrid, definitely a vampire but having human traits. I think one of those traits, played a part in your unscheduled foray into hunting. When I sent you and Edward to downstairs to get yourself something to eat, and you had your… experience shall I say?"

"Yes?"

"You never did eat anything did you?"

Edward's face became animated, and a smile stretched across his face. "You mean she was merely…"

"Yes," Carlisle interrupted. "She was hungry. I believe if she had eaten the chicken, she would have been fine, and would have had no need to hunt. She had after all gone an entire week without eating. It wasn't unusual that she should have been so hungry. When she didn't eat the chicken, the human food that I think might be her body's preferred food source, her body responded to feed itself in the other way open to it. She was thirsty, and she hunted; it was a survival instinct."

"So," Edward said, "if we make sure she eats at regular intervals, then…"

"She should be just fine," Carlisle finished, "More than fine."

I sat a bit stunned. "Wait Carlisle, your telling me that the powerful force behind my behavior was that I was hungry?"

"Yes Bella, that is what I believe."

"So I'm not going insane, or out of control like Bree?"

"Far from it."

"But when I was hunting, I didn't think or care about anything else. I screamed at Edward, and I smashed through a window! That's not exactly rational behavior is it?"

"Well, as far as your body was concerned, it was rational to achieve its goal, which was to replenish itself, to survive. All creatures Bella have a survival instinct that from time to time kicks in at the expense of other instincts. Animal, vampire, even human beings will do out of the ordinary things in such cases. Have you never heard stories of a person lifting incredibly heavy objects to save himself or someone else? An animal will chew its own foot off to escape a bear trap. These actions would all be considered irrational out of context. But to the mind of the creature trying to save itself, it makes perfect sense."

I thought carefully about what he was saying, scrutinizing his logic, trying to find any sort of flaw or loop hole. I found none.

"Hunger drives many people to do things they would not normally do, Bella. As a vampire, your instincts will be baser, more animal, but still within the realm of human behavior. Moreover, as far as control is concerned, you had more than you realized. Emmett?" he looked over at Emmett.

Emmett stood up. "Edward and I tracked you Bella to the point that you first stopped. Edward had your scent, and asked me to let him go after you alone. While I was there, I did discover you had interrupted a hunter who had the mountain lion in the sights of his rifle. He was still there in his hide, complaining to himself. I don't blame him for being disappointed in losing it. I took a look at it, after you and Edward left it. It was a nice cat you brought down Bella, one of the largest I've ever seen; kudos little sister!" Emmett winked at me and sat back down next to Rosalie.

I felt my guilt over killing the lion wanting to return, but then I remembered something. "Oh, was that what that horrible smell was?" They all looked at me in amazement.

Carlisle smiled and asked, "What was horrible about it Bella, what did is smell like?"

I remembered the smell and curled up my nose. "It was like tobacco and beer; like the way it smells in a cheap bar or something. It was really gross."

"And you had no desire to change your target?"

"Well…I…" I wanted to say no, but I knew that wasn't the truth. "Actually for about half a second I considered whether or not I should switch, but I didn't."

I looked at Carlisle and then Edward with guilt on my face. "I'm sorry," I moaned.

"Bella," Carlisle continued, "I don't know that anyone of us in the midst of giving ourselves over to the hunt, at that point of thirst, could say with a hundred percent surety that we would not have the same fleeting inclination."

"That's for sure!" Jasper chimed in.

"You have an ability Bella to differentiate the scent of humans by a very interesting method; their diet. To you humans literally are what they eat."

I was a little shocked at the thought, but it made sense remembering how I thought one of the vials of blood Carlisle had had me smell reminded me of French fries.

"I think," He went on, "If you absolutely need to hunt, if you can use your detection of diet, you should be able to avoid humans altogether. By choosing the scents that do not resemble human food, you should be reasonably safe. It really is a useful talent Bella in terms of hunting. And it could have other uses we don't see yet."

Edward pulled me closer to him, ignoring Alice giggling in tow and asked, "But you feel she won't need to hunt, isn't that correct?"

"Yes, at least not as often as the rest of us. Because Bella retains her human trait of eating, I believe her body will be able to assimilate what she needs in that way. However, because of her enhanced abilities as a vampire, she may need more concentrated nutrition than human food can provide her. If that is the case, she will need to hunt occasionally to make up the deficit. That may only be necessary every few months, as opposed to us needing to feed every few days or weeks as the case may be. Of course the details are still all theory, and it will take a while before we know for sure how Bella will react to things."

I began to feel less like a freak, though perhaps still too much the same old odd Bella. Compared to the way I felt before, I decided it was something I could live with.

I looked at Edward who seemed to be as relieved as I was at the revelation of my feeding issues, and teased, "I'll try not to eat you out of house and home dear." His crooked smile broke across his face and pulling me out of Alice's grasp and onto his lap; he hugged me and laughed aloud.

The whole family seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. I always knew they took their roles as my guardians with serious dedication. My odd traits only made their job more difficult. So discovering that I had more control than any of us could have hoped for, was an unexpected and welcomed surprise.

With our mood definitely lighter, Carlisle continued. "I wanted to touch on another human trait that you still seem to possess Bella."

I blushed, "Well besides the blushing," I said acknowledging it; "I suppose you mean the crying? I know I've always overdone the tears. I didn't think it was still going to be an issue, I'm sorry."

Edward tightened his arms around me, kissed each of my cheeks and eyes, and whispered, "I love the blush, and the tears."

Of course, the blush got darker, as Edward put me through another display of affection with the family watching.

Smiling, Carlisle continued, "I was not referring to either of those traits Bella, although they are intriguing in their own right. No, I was referring to the fact that you by either necessity or choice appear to be able to sleep.

"What?!" Emmett, Alice, Jasper and I said in unison.

Edward just smiled at me like a child who just revealed a juicy secret. I looked at him and asked, "You knew?"

He nodded and said, "Upstairs after the hunt, when we were lying on the bed, I held you wanting you let you calm down. I know how well your lullaby helps you to do that, so I just hummed and held you. After awhile I noticed, you were very still. I had seen you this still before, but only when you were sleeping, although it usually accompanied by talking. I moved you onto your side expecting you to look at me, but you didn't move. I was a bit concerned so I walked around to face you and your eyes were closed, but moving as if you were dreaming. I actually said your name but you didn't respond. It was then that I noticed."

"What? What did you notice?"

"That you don't breathe when you sleep." He said with a grin.

I was dumbstruck. I had no idea what to say to that. Edward had told me that technically vampires didn't need to breathe, but I could never imagine it. I thought to myself, what a strange concoction of vampire and human I was. I had finally concluded that I was never going to be normal in any state. I would always be Bella, with all my idiosyncrasies intact. I smiled in resignation, realizing I had had an epiphany. I had been fighting my fate; fighting it my whole life it seemed. Both in my human life and my life now. I had always been so dissatisfied and uncomfortable with myself, that I had been battling against myself. Perhaps it was a legacy from Charlie and Réne. Like Réne's never being satisfied with things, always pursuing something more, like the endless hobbies she started and abandoned. Then there was Charlie's unwillingness to change his ways; staying in his comfortable niche here in Forks. I wasn't quite sure what the answer was, but what I was sure about was that I had a choice to make. I could continue to fight who and what I was, or I could accept myself in all my glorious weirdness. I suddenly realized something else. That no matter how I acted, no matter how ridiculous I was, someone else accepted me without question or limit; Edward. I had never felt as comfortable around anyone as I did Edward. I looked into his still smiling eyes that seemed amused at the look on my face. I kissed him with abandon, and said, "I love you Edward."

"Well," he said with a laugh, "I hope you fall asleep more often!"

Carlisle cleared his throat to regain the floor.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized, "you were saying Carlisle?"

"I am interested" he said smiling, "whether it is a physical need that induces you to sleep, or whether it is based on emotional need."

"Why would that be significant?" Jasper asked.

"As we all know," Carlisle continued, "there is an attempt by Jane to usurp the seat of power in Volterra. In addition, we know that she bears our family no good will. With Bella's experience outside, we have to assume that events are unfolding in Volterra, even now. Bella sleeping could present a problem in that, if it is induced by physical need, she will be compelled to do it, and in that state, will be extremely vulnerable, and should Jane bring a fight to our doorstep while she is sleeping."

At those words, we all became immediately serious.

"I am sorry to dampen the mood" he apologized, "but we must be prepared, and know all of our weaknesses as well as our strengths. Speaking of strength, we are all a bit parched, and I think it would be prudent to hunt while still at our leisure. Bella," he said turning his attention back to me, "with your permission, I would like to observe you the next time you sleep, especially if you feel compelled. Would you mind?"

"Oh, of course not," I said.

I quickly looked at the family's eyes and realized they had all gone quite dark. Not black like the first day at forks high school, but only a few shades lighter.

Looking out the widows, I realized it was already night. It was funny how I had not even noticed the day go by. I suddenly felt very guilty, having made them have to deal with my erratic behavior, instead of seeing to their own needs.

"I'm so sorry," I said. "I've kept you all from feeding. Please go and take care of yourselves, I'll be fine."

"Wouldn't you like to come along?" Emmett asked. "You might see another mountain lion." He smiled wryly.

"Emmett!" Edward said with a little venom.

"It's ok Edward," I said smiling sympathetically. It was Emmett, and his way, and I loved my big brother even more for it. "No, I think I've had enough hunting for now. Please, you all take care of yourselves, and I'll wait here. Maybe I'll take a nap!" I teased.

Edward took me up in his arms and while looking into my eyes said, "I'll stay with Bella, while the rest of you hunt. I feel like a nap myself."

Major blushing in my cheeks made his eyes burn with intensity.

I don't think I'd seen the rest of the family ever leave a room so quickly. One moment they were there with knowing smiles, the next they were gone.

"Well, I said, "you certainly know how to clear a room." I started to laugh, but was stopped by Edward's fervent lips on mine. He had never kissed me with such need, and I was more than happy to return his effort.

"It's been an eternity since Summit Lake!" he said with a husky voice, "come with me." As though he had wings, he flew up the stairs to our room, with me in tow. My wedding night with Edward had been perfect, and everything I had hoped. Despite the bruises that I acquired I had never believed we could have experienced such passion. It was just a pale substitute however, to the passion we experienced now with our restraints gone. My remaining human traits not withstanding, I did possess the durability of the vampire that I obviously was. We gave ourselves up to each other, and for too short a time, forgot everything else.

Afterward, we lay in each other's arms, looking at the stars out the window of our room, and listening to music Edward had put on. I would have been content to remain there in his arms for the rest of eternity.


	18. Turning Point

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

18. Turning Point

I found myself moving, running at tremendous speed. I was outside, moving along a river. It was night; lights from small villages were speeding by me in soft blurs. I stopped abruptly, and crouched down. I listened, listened for a sound of pursuit, hearing none.

I began to run again, speed increasing, blinding, but knowing exactly where I was going. How did I know, I'd never been here before. Finally, the ocean, I saw it! I was almost there; I could escape to the sea! I slowly began to see phantom shapes in my peripheral vision. No…no…NO! I skidded to a stop. They were in front of me, behind, all around! "You run well Caius…for one of your years," Felix leered.

_Caius?! This is Caius?!_

"_**Who speaks to me?! Is this one of your tricks Felix?"**_

"I think your mind is failing you Caius." Felix said sarcastically. "Perhaps your mind is going the way of Marcus? I could feel a deep pain in my…_his_ heart, I knew now that Marcus was dead. "Don't worry, you will soon join him," Felix said, flashing ferocious teeth and moving towards me.

I was trying to move but I couldn't. I tried harder, and I felt movement in my…_his_ legs, but it was like trying to moved legs of lead.

"_**What is happening, what are you doing to me?"**_

"_Run, dammit, run!" _I screamed.

Caius didn't move. I concentrate on the lead legs and suddenly we lurched away from Felix, and pushed through a gap in the phantom shapes. I was running pushing, pushing him to run faster.

"_**Who are you, how do you do this; forcing me to run?"**_

"_Shut up and run!" I screamed again._

We were almost to the ocean; we could smell it. We were there, we'd made it…suddenly blinding pain hit our back with a crunch! We spun around as we fell to see Felix had caught up with us.

"I've no more time for this ancient one!" He motioned to the phantoms, they fell on us and I felt our limbs being pulled away from our body! The searing hot pain, reminded me of when the venom was pumping through my body changing me. Suddenly they took hold of our neck; they ripped at our throat with their teeth….WE SCREAMED!

I was screaming, screaming at the top of my lungs!

"Bella!" Someone yelled shaking me. "My god Bella, what is it?!"

I started swinging my arms fighting them, trying to push them off of me.

"NO!" I screamed, "GET AWAY!" My heart was pounding and rapid.

"Bella! Bella look at me!" They were holding my wrists down; I had to get away!

A feral growl escaped my lips and threw them off me. I jumped up and landed in a crouched position looking for the attackers, ready to dismember them! I felt dizzy as though I was being repelled. I squinted, my vision cleared; with the morning light pouring in behind him, I saw Edward leaning against the cracked bedroom window, palms against the glass, braced for an attack.

"Bella? Sweetheart it's me. Do you know me Bella?"

I started to relax, when I heard a loud voice from somewhere outside the door yell "Bella no!"

Suddenly Alice burst through the door. She stopped and surveying Edward's position against the cracked window. She turned and looked cautiously at me.

"Careful Alice," Edward said calmly.

I felt the tears start to spill, and my body began to shake. I finally collapsed in sobs on the bed. In my moment of distraction, Edward and Alice both fell on me holding my arms and wrist. I didn't fight; I just closed my eyes and cried.

Satisfied that I was in my right mind, Alice released her grip on me, and said, "Edward, take care of Bella first of course, but I have to talk to both of you as soon as possible!"

Edward nodded, and Alice left.

I felt limp like a rag doll, I had no energy, and I felt completely spent. I could no longer even feel my heart beating. I just lay there, my husband still holding my wrists down looking at me as though I were insane.

He finally let go of my wrists, and lifted me into his arms. I didn't fight, I didn't respond, I just stayed limp.

"Bella." He murmured. "What happened Bella, what were you afraid of?"

I looked into his worried eyes. I felt as though I hadn't slept in a year. I put a limp hand on his cheek, and said, "he's dead, they killed us."

I heard Edward start to say something, but I closed my eyes and let myself slip away to unconsciousness.

Somehow I was now in our meadow, laying in Edward's arms. The sun was shining warmly on our bodies stretched out and comfortable on the warm grass. We weren't talking; we were just looking into each other's eyes. I was running my fingers through his bronze hair, and he was running the back of his hand along my jaw and across my lips. I was so comfortable, and I felt safe. We were lying on the grass but it felt more like were floating on the ocean, rocking gently with the breeze. I closed my eyes and said "Edward."

"Yes, love, I'm here," he said.

I opened my eyes, and I was in Edwards arms. We were sitting in the living room with Carlisle, Esme and Alice watching us. I knew I'd had another of my _episodes._

"What happened?" I moaned, "Did I freak out again?"

"How are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I am getting so tire of that question!" I said with exhaustion in my voice. "I can't take this, I feel like I'm going insane!"

Edward kissed my forehead. "We're just trying to understand what's happening to you sweetheart."

I looked at Alice. Her usually chipper pixie face was creased and wary. Seeing Alice in such a disheveled state, un-nerved me.

"What is it Alice," I asked prepared for bad news, "what's wrong?"

Forgetting myself, I crawled out of Edward's arms, and sat next to Alice taking her hand.

"Before Alice tells us what she has seen," Carlisle said, "perhaps you should tell us what _you_ have seen Bella."

I looked at their waiting faces, wishing I didn't have to remember what I had seen.

"Well," I began, "I was in Italy again."

"Volterra again?" Edward asked

"No, well at least I don't think so. I was...I mean we were outside, running. But it looked like the area Alice and drove through when we came to rescue you."

"We?" Esme asked. "You were with someone?"

I nodded, "Caius." I said matter-of-factly.

All four of them looked at me in stunned silence. Alice's face became incredulous.

"What?" I asked.

"Please continue Bella," Carlisle asked. "Alice will explain as soon as you are done with your account."

I looked at them feeling like I was a monkey in a cage.

"It's ok Bella," Edward encouraged me.

"We were running" I continued, "and there were shadows, like ghosts or phantoms on each side of us. We finally ran into Felix. He was talking to Caius, something about him running well. I kept telling him to run, but he wouldn't, he just asked if Felix he was tricking him. Then Felix said he was going to join Marcus; I think he killed him, I think Marcus is dead. He was going to kill Caius too. I screamed for him to run, but he wouldn't."

My heart was beginning to race again, and I could feel the fear rising in me.

"He wouldn't run, so I ran for him. He wanted to know how I was doing it, and I just told him to run! But they caught up with us. They grabbed us by the neck, and threw us down," I was beginning to cry.

"Carlisle, it's enough," Edward said firmly.

"We have to try to figure out what is happening to her Edward," he urged. "Let her finish."

I looked at Edward to tell me what to do. He looked at me and then nodded for me to continue.

"They pulled his arms off, and I felt it, I felt the burning!" I said crying fully now, "And then, they…were…at his throat! They killed him, the pulled him to pieces!" I was sobbing again, the full memory of what I had seen and felt coming back.

"Enough!" Edward commanded, taking me back into his arms.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "You know I would never want to cause Bella pain, but we have to find out what this means. Our entire family, in fact our entire existence may be in jeopardy. Bella is experiencing something I've never heard of. We have to know more, it may be crucial!" Carlisle, who was usually so sedate, seemed more animated than I'd ever seen him. "Edward, please!" he asked again pleading.

"No!" Edward said, "She needs to rest."

I knew that Carlisle was truly concerned about the family, and I knew I had to help; I needed to recover myself quickly. "Wait," I said sniffling, "I want to know what's happening to me too. And I want to help."

"Bella, you don't have to…"Edward began to say.

"No, Edward, please," I begged, "please let me help."

He looked at me with concern, his lips pressed to a hard line, but he nodded in agreement.

"I looked at Carlisle and getting up from Edward's arms I asked, "What exactly do you want to know?"

"I'm trying to understand, in what sense you were there with Caius. It may help us explain what Alice saw."

I looked at Alice; her face was truly unnerved, and tense.

I sat down next to her again, and took her hand. She smiled weakly at me in gratitude.

"I'm not sure how to explain it I said," calmer now. "It's like he was in my head, no…like I was in his head! I remember before, with Aro, yes he said it was like I was floating in his head. I could talk to him, and he could talk to me. But I felt like I was paralyzed, like I had no control over my body, almost like I didn't have a body."

I realized I was staring off in to empty space as I talked. I focused on the others and stopped. I did want to help but the experiences were so frightening, I had to stop for a moment. Esme came and sat next to me, and put her arm around my shoulders.

"It's alright Bella," she said in her gentle comforting voice, "just take your time."

Esme had such a capacity for exuding comfort and love; I sopped it up like a sponge. I felt safer, and more at ease with her arm around me. It gave me a tenewed resolve to continue.

"Somehow," I said smiling at her, "and I know this is crazy, but somehow I think I am in their minds, their bodies." I stopped to judge their reactions.

Edward and Carlisle just looked at me, trying to decipher what I meant. Alice was looking at me a little less frantic, but still cautiously. Finally, I looked at Esme who smiled and nodded.

"Look, I know it's weird and crazy sounding, but that's how it feels to me. And when I made Caius run, well what else could be…"

Their faces were so shocked, I had to stop, and afraid I had stepped over some line of taboo.

I waited.

"What?" I said finally.

Carlisle's inquisitive smile almost came back. "Bella," he said, "You're saying, you were able to manipulate him…physically?!"

I nodded, afraid to say anything.

"Alice?" Carlisle asked. Alice stared ahead remembering what she had seen.

"I still see her there during the whole thing, but no…yes…wait!. She was there, she was watching, but they did not see her. I just assumed she was next after they…"

"Bella?" Carlisle turned to me again. "How did you manipulate Caius, how did you _make_ him run?"

"I don't know exactly," I said trying to find an answer. "I just concentrated on his legs, on making them move. All of a sudden they did. He asked me how I was able to do it, but I didn't think about it. I was so scared, I just told him to shut up and run. But they caught us anyway." I had to stop and re-center myself when the memory of Caius' dismemberment came flooding back.

"Why do you think, you have been…_visiting_…Caius and Aro Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know. I have been thinking about the Volturi a lot lately, worried about their connection to Tanya and Irina. I started to picture the three masters in my mind from the portraits in your study."

Carlisle sat thoughtfully for a moment, and then turned to Alice. "Alice please share with us what you saw."

Alice nodded and began. "About a half hour before I heard Bella screaming upstairs, I saw a vision of Caius being chased by Felix and the guard. He headed for the sea, and they caught up with him, and surrounded him. Felix was taunting him, but Caius seemed engaged in another conversation. He seemed to shake and struggle, and all of a sudden, he turned and broke through a line in the guard, and headed for the sea again. However, his face was confused looking, as if he didn't know what he was doing. As he was running, I saw Bella was running along side of him! He seemed to be talking to her asking her something. I was so afraid; I didn't know what to think. Then I saw that Felix had been keeping pace with them. He hit Caius from behind, knocking him down. Bella fell with him." She looked at me with concern, and I just stared back at her, and smiled weakly.

"The rest of the guard caught up with them, and they…well you can imagine from Bella's description. Bella was standing there watching, her face seemed to mimic Caius'. When he screamed so did she. Then it was gone, and I just assumed Bella would be next. A few minutes after the vision faded I heard Bella scream, and I yelled no, I don't really know why, I think I was still picturing her in the hands of Felix and the guard."

"Wait," I said confused, "I though Alice's visions were of the future, not the present." I questioned.

"Well technically, it was the future, just the very, very near future." She added.

"So," Carlisle went on, "among her other interesting attributes, it appears Bella can inhabit minds of others, communicate with them, and manipulate them physically."

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"But why the masters, why Aro and Caius?" Edward asked.

"I think it has to do with Bella herself." Carlisle answered. "I think that whoever Bella concentrates on, they become her target…host…shall we say."

"Would it work with anyone, anything?" Edward asked. His mood seemed to be shifting to match Carlisle's. The scientists in them wanted to know more.

"Shall we experiment a little," Carlisle said smiling at Edward.

Edward smiled back and nodded, but his face suddenly got serious and he turned to me and said, "Of course if it's alright with you Bella. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

He looked a little guilty for not asking me first, but I couldn't do anything but smile and say "Well enquiring minds what to know, so lets find out how twisted I really am!"

Everyone laughed and the mood lightened, and I internally gave out a sigh of relief to know I wasn't a mental case vampire. I was really beginning to worry about what Edward had gotten himself into.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked Carlisle.

"Before we start, I would like for Edward to hunt. He waited with you while the rest of us were gone."

I looked at Edward; I hadn't noticed his eyes darkened from thirst.

"Edward," I scolded, "please go and take care of yourself."

"I'm fine Bella," he lied, "I can wait a while."

"No! Go and hunt. I'll stay here and experiment with Carlisle."

"Are you sure you'll be ok?"

"I'm an insane, ferocious vampire," I teased, "How much trouble can I get into?"

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "I'll be back soon."

He picked me up and kissed me, and left.

"Ok Carlisle," I said, "where do we begin."

"Well, the first thing I would like to determine is how you make contact."

I nodded and waited for instructions.

"According to what you said before, you were thinking about the masters. So let's assume that concentrating your thoughts on an individual affords you access to their minds. I would like you to try with Alice, if she is willing…Alice? He turned to Alice.

"This should be interesting," she said smiling.

"Fine, please go to your room Alice."

Alice smiled her pixie grin, and skipped up the stairs.

"Alright Bella," he said turning to me, "I want you to concentrate on Alice. I want you to think about trying to talk to her"

I nodded, and closed my eyes and thought about Alice. I thought about talking to her, and asking her more about what she had seen in Italy. I sat very still for a few minutes, and didn't see anything. I was about to open my eyes, when I suddenly felt the feeling of falling I had experienced before my contact with Aro. Then I felt flushed. I opened my eyes and found myself in Jasper's arms! He was kissing me and not like a brother! I suddenly yelled, _**"Stop!"**_ And pushed him away with impressive force.

Jasper backed away from me with a pained look of rejection. "What is it?" he said, "What's wrong?"

"_**I…I don't know, I…Oh!"**_ Alice gasped. _**Bella! **_She said knowingly.

"What about Bella?" Jasper asked confused.

"_**Bella? Is it you?"**_ Alice asked.

"_Alice, I'm so sorry!" _I moaned in my head. I wanted to find a rock and climb under it!

"_I was taken off guard; I…I…Oh just kill me now!"_

I could hear Alice's laughter at my expense and it made me mad. I focused on Alice's hand, and after a moment, reached up with it and tugged on her hair.

"_**Ow!" **_she laughed._** "No fair!" **_

I could hear Carlisle's voice as though it were miles away. I had to concentrate very hard to hear it. "Could you ask Alice to come back Bella?"

I decided to do one better. I concentrated on Alice's legs. She suddenly turned towards the door saying to Jasper behind her,

"_**You'd better just come along; I don't seem to have any choice in the matter." **_She continued to laugh as I walked her downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, I fell away from Alice, and released her.

Jasper and Alice came downstairs and sat next to me. I couldn't bear to look at Jasper.

"Well now," Alice smirked, "That…was interesting wasn't it?"

"What?" Jasper asked, "What was interesting? What just happened?"

"Well," Alice said with an evil grin, "Bella just got to kiss you, through me!"

Jasper looked at Alice, then at me, and then back at Alice and said, "So was that what the little episode upstairs was all about?"

"Yep," Alice said giggling. "Cool, isn't it?"

"As long as Edward understands I was kissing _my _wife and not his," Jasper added.

I just sat with my head in my hands, blush in place, wishing I were anywhere but there.

"Oh come on Bella," Alice said, "You weren't really kissing Jasper, I was. Don't you think it's fascinating though?

"Alice," Carlisle asked, "Tell me what happened."

"Well, I was kissing Jasper, and then all of a sudden, I said no, and pushed him away. Except it wasn't me though, I didn't do either. I could feel Bella's presence. Then it was as if she was in my head talking to me; she apologized. She was embarrassed, it was so funny, and I couldn't help laughing. Then involuntarily my right hand reached up and pulled my hair!"

She reached over and shook me gently until I looked up. I looked at Jasper apologetically; he just shrugged his shoulders and winked at me.

The Alice continued, "After the hair, I was walking towards the door, and then downstairs. I had no control at all."

"Excellent!" Carlisle said. "Tell me Alice did you try to resist Bella?"

"Well, no, I was sort of waiting for it, and wanted to let her have her way. But I didn't expect to find Jasper in the bedroom." She gave Jasper a sly look and said, "He had other ideas, but Bella interrupted us." She was laughing again, Jasper was whistling and looking up, and I was about ready to go look for that rock to crawl under, when Carlisle said, "I was wondering Bella, could you try Alice one more time, and this time Alice, could you try to resist her?

"Sure," Alice said still laughing.

"As long as I don't have to kiss Jasper, no problem." I said.

Jasper looked like I had felt a few minutes earlier and said, "I think I'll just go see how Edward's hunt is going." He was gone in an instant.

Carlisle nodded and said, "Go ahead Bella."

I looked at Alice and smiled just a bit wickedly, and began to concentrate.

Alice picked up a book, and began looking through it.

I was looking at her face intensely. Slowly her face began to fade and I was falling again. Then the pages of the book she was looking at replaced Alice's face. She began to read to herself. At first, I read along with her.

"_**There are strange things done in the midnight sun**_

_**By the men who moil for gold;**_

_**The Arctic trails have their secret tales**_

_**That would make your blood run cold;**_

_**The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,**_

_**But the queerest they ever did see**_

_**Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge**_

_**I cremated Sam McGee…"**_

"_That's a bit morbid isn't it?" I thought._

"_**It's not morbid," **_Alice thought,_** "on the contrary, its story of a friend's devotion. You'd see if I read further."**_

"_No, I think you should stop now," _I said with attitude.

"_**Make me, if you can,"**_ she challenged.

I tried to make her drop the book. Nothing. I concentrated harder; Alice's hands began to shake.

"_**No…you…don't,"**_ Alice thought with effort.

"_Yes!"_ I thought, willing her hands to do my bidding.

The book went flying across the room. I decided I needed more revenge for the Jasper thing, so I started dancing around the room like top.

Carlisle laughed aloud despite himself, and Esme joined in.

"_**Ok, ok, I give up," **_Alice conceded.

I retreated from Alice, very pleased with myself.

I went and put my arms around Alice, and said, "Thanks for letting me invade your head Alice."

"Anytime…" she said, but paused and added, "Except when I'm kissing Jasper!"

We laughed until we cried.

"Well," Carlisle said, "This is very interesting. It is also very encouraging. I think Bella will be a great asset should we have to defend ourselves against Jane. Now we need to wait until Edward and Jasper return, and decide what the best way to proceed is.

I realized I was starting to feel hungry and said, "I think I should get something to eat before I turn into the green eyed monster again."

"Yes, by all means, you should eat Bella.

"Come with me Bella," Esme said. "I think I can meet that need. Alice you come along too."

Alice, Esme, and I adjourned to the kitchen. Esme began pulling out food from the refrigerator.

"I used to be quite the cook in my other life," Esme said.

"Where did all the fresh food come from?" I asked.

"We decided we should stock up, since we need to accommodate your unique dietary needs. I had it delivered when we returned from hunting." She smiled so sweetly, I had to give her a hug.

While Esme worked over the food, Alice and I started to chatter away about different things. I asked about what had happened while Edward and I were at the lodge in Alaska, what she had been doing before she and Jasper joined us in Alaska. I was surprised that she had a call from Angela. She and Ben were already planning their wedding, and wanted some advice from Alice. She told Alice that Mike and Jessica were still going out, this week at least. Then I asked her about Charlie. I remembered her telling me that Charlie would be happy, and I wanted to know if she had seen anything more.

"No Bella, I haven't seen anything more, it's still very sparse, like a puzzle with missing pieces." I was a little frustrated, not being able to know how Charlie would fare, but I trusted Alice's assurance that he would be happy.

I realized I had not seen Eleazar, Carmen and Kate since before my abrupt first hunt. "Esme, where are Kate and Eleazar and Carmen?" I asked.

"They are keeping to their rooms Bella. They have been very sweet and understanding about Jacob's having to defend himself against Tanya, but they still grieve for her. They were very close, and they are very hurt that she would turn the way she did."

I nodded, still very happy that Jacob had successfully defended himself against her.

"They are also upset and worried about Irina. They know she is with the Volturi, and that worries them even more."

I knew that they would be gracious about it, but I felt real sorrow for them.

Esme presented me with a wonderful dish of saffron potatoes, sautéed green onions and thin salmon fillets. I almost felt sorry that she and Alice couldn't enjoy it with me.

After praising Esme's offering, I decided to wait for Edward in our room. I looked at the spider web crack in the window, and felt a twinge of guilt. I remembered how I had pushed Edward off me. I knew he probably hadn't even given it another thought. I smiled at the thought of my tall, strong husband, being thrown by his little wife.

I put Debussy on the stereo, and let my mind wander. I thought about my new _talent;_ what it might mean in terms of fighting Jane. I didn't want to think about it at that moment.

Abruptly, my thoughts turned to Jacob. It had only been a day since I had seen him, but it seemed like an eternity to me. I wondered how his homecoming had been. I wished I could visit La Push and see him, Quill, Embry, Seth. I missed the La Push boys. They had become such an important part of my life during the time Edward was gone. So much had happened since those days; I had a hard time remembering them. I hoped that Jacob would stay for Billy's sake, and for the rest of them. I smiled at the thought of him being in the bosom of his family and friends.

I had a sudden twinge of sadness, as I realized that my change had made it a permanent impossibility for me to visit La Push ever again. I had always known that would be the case, but I never really felt the reality of it until now. I did not regret my decision; I belonged with Edward, and I believed it more now than ever. However, I also now felt the full impact of the consequences of my decision. I knew that my happiness with Edward would make any sadness I felt because of those consequences bearable. Nevertheless, I wanted so much to know that Jacob, like Charlie, would be happy. He had invested so much of his heart in me; an investment that I could not give him a return on. He had known it, as surely as I had known I would face these consequences. It didn't diminish my heart aching for his loneliness though. He had sworn there would never be anyone but me. I hoped that would not be true. As I continued to ruminate about Jacob, an interesting idea came to my mind. "I wonder?" I thought aloud. I closed my eyes and began to concentrate on Jacob…nothing. I decided to give it another try…I said his name in my mind over and over. _"Jacob…Jacob…Jacob…"_ Again, I was falling…

"_**What? Leah what?"**_

I opened my eyes, and I was looking at Leah Clearwater. She was standing in front of me, but below, as though I had grown 4 feet taller. I had forgotten how beautiful she was. Long, lean, shapely; with long silky black hair that spilled like an ebony waterfall over her bronze shoulders; she was stunning.

"_**Did you say something Leah?" **_Jacob asked. _"Jacob!"_ I thought to myself.

"No", she said.

"_**Were you just thinking about me**_?" he asked with a surprising amount of affection.

"Well of course I was what do you think? But you know you can't hear me when were not phased. Why are you hearing things?"

"_**Naw, I guess I'm just getting jumpy."**_

" She walked over to Jacob and kissed us with an overpowering amount of passion. I waited for Jacob to push her away, but he took her up in his arms and returned better than he received. My head began to spin when Jacob said with a playful leer,

"_**This imprinting thing is kinda great, you know, weird but great?"**_

"Yeah!" She agreed with a sigh, "I wonder if there has ever been an imprinting like ours before?"

"_**Two protectors imprinting on each other, I don't think so. And so fast; I've only been back for a day! The guys are gonna have a field day with us you know.**_

"Is it such a terrible price to pay for finding your soul mate? You know, even before the imprinting Jacob, I really did miss you."

"_**You're more than I deserve Leah. I've had my head, you know, somewhere else for so long, I really didn't believe this would ever happen. I'm glad I was wrong.**_

I could see Jacob's passion rising, and I knew I did not want to be in his head much longer.

"Are you really glad Jacob?" Leah asked seductively, moving her copper arms up his chest. "How glad are you exactly?"

That was my cue; I released Jacob before he ever knew I was there, and collapsed on the bed. I had a sudden twinge of jealousy that left as quickly as it came. I was finally becoming able to put aside my ridiculously mixed emotions concerning Jacob. As I lay on the bed, my stunned face turned to a wide grin and I started laughing out loud! My heart was so full of excited contentment. I was so happy and it was as much for Leah as it was for Jacob. I could only imagine the heartache she must have suffered with Sam's imprinting on Emily. I was happy that she would finally be happy. I knew first hand how happy Jacob would make her. Jacob…my friend…my best friend…would finally be happy too. As I thought of my friend, my mind took a mischievous turn. _"Never anyone else huh?"_ I thought. _"Oh this is going to be too much fun!"_

I was imagining my triumph when I played the biggest joke ever on Jacob, when I heard the door open.

"Well, I must say you are in a good mood Bella," Edward said as he came in, his eyes topaz again.

"Edward!" I squealed, and flew into his arms.

"I'll have to go away more often, if this is going to be my reception when I come back." Laughing he asked, "What brought on all this?"

"Oh, just a little inside joke," I giggled. "Can I call Jacob?"

Edward looked at me somewhat apprehensively, but unable to resist my elated mood, or my kisses on his neck, he handed me the phone.


	19. Power Play

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

19. Power Play

"Hello?" A female voice answered.

"Hi, this is Bella, Bella Cullen," I said. "Can I speak to Jacob?"

"Um…well…I don't…just a minute," the voice said.

"Oh, is this Leah?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"Yes Bella, this is Leah." Her voice was emotionless, almost sarcastic.

I found it more than a little difficult to speak with a straight face, but I knew I had to hold it together.

"How have you been Leah? I haven't seen you since, well since the war." I acted very casual.

"Well…ah…yes it has been a long time Bella" she said with just a little terseness.

After a short, uncomfortable silence, I asked again, "Could I speak to Jacob Leah?"

There was no response, but I heard a muffling of the phone, and distorted voices behind it. It sounded like there was a debate going on. I waited patiently.

Then the phone became clear and Jacob answered. "Hey Bells," he said weakly, "What's up? Ah…how are you feeling?"

"I'm really good Jacob," I said. "I'd like to talk you about something I've been thinking about. Could you come over for a visit today?"

"Um…well…sure, I can come for a visit." The inflection in his voice seemed to indicate he was _telling_ Leah he was coming at the same time he was answering me.

"Ok, then I'll be expecting you ok? I said, and added, "Oh, why don't you bring Seth Clearwater, I'm sure Edward would like to see him, and vice versa."

"Sure, sure, I know Seth would love to come." He didn't sound convincing

"Good Jake," I said as sweetly as I could. "I can't wait to see you, bye!"

I hung up before he could answer, and laughed uncontrollably.

I suddenly remembered Edward who had been watching me the whole time. I looked up at his worried face and knew I had to let him in on the joke, especially with the tactics I was going to use.

I explained my successful connection with Jacob's head and what I had overheard. I then laid out my plan for mock revenge, and started laughing again.

Edward looked at me with a disapproving frown. "Bella Marie Cullen" he said, "That is truly evil!"

"I know, right?" I said doing my best imitation of Jessica.

"Are you sure you should do this?" he asked. "It's going to be hard enough for Jacob to tell you about Leah. Aren't you afraid of hurting his feelings?"

I looked at Edward and knew he was truly worried about Jacob, and that warmed my heart. I had hoped that my latest near death experience had finally put them on the road to true friendship, but this was the first evidence that it was happening.

"Don't worry Edward," I reassured him. "I love Jacob, and I'm not going to hurt him. I'm just going to mess with his head…a little."

He still looked a little worried, but a cautious smile started to break across his lips.

"Oh, and I told him to bring Seth, I thought you might like to see him again. I know how much he still looks up to you."

"Yes," Edward said with a smile, "it will be good to see Seth again."

"So it's settled," I said. "You can entertain Seth, and I'll take care of Jacob."

Edward smiled, and said, "I'd better let the family know their coming. Behave yourself Mrs. Cullen!"

It didn't take long for Jacob to arrive. As I had hoped and suspected, Leah had come along for the ride. I really wanted to be friends with Leah, and I hoped after today we would be.

As I came down the stairs I saw Jacob, Seth, and Leah, talking to Edward and Alice. I wanted to make a big entrance; I raced down the stairs, wrapped my arms around Jacob, and said, "It's so good to see you Jacob!"

Leah seemed extremely irritated at my exuberance, and shuddered just a little. Jacob favored me with a quick, obligatory hug, looking sideways at Leah. I held my laugher, and turned my attention to Seth. "Seth!" I said, offering a less enthusiastic hug. "How are you? Have you gotten taller? You Quileute boys still grow fast I see."

"Hi Bella! It's great to see you. I didn't think…you know…that we would…well…it's great to see you!"

I laughed aloud joined by Edward, Alice and Seth. Jacob offered a nervous, almost fake laugh, and Leah stood stoned faced, giving away nothing. I knew that I didn't want to push the tension beyond my joke's limit, so I said, "Well, Jake, why don't you come with me to Carlisle's study, and Oh, Alice maybe you could get Seth and Leah something to eat?"

Alice, obviously not being able to see anything with the werewolves around, nodded suspiciously, and then smiled and said, "This way to the kitchen."

Edward smirked, shook his head slightly and went with them.

"Come on upstairs Jake," I said.

We walked up the stairs, and then into Carlisle study.

"Wow!" Jake said, "Look at all the books!"

Carlisle's study contained more volumes I was sure, than the entire Forks public library. Three hundred plus years of living gave him time for extensive study. I suddenly realized I had not really taken the time to look at his collection. It _was_ impressive.

Looking up at the three portraits on the wall Jacob commented, "What's with the three ghouls?"

Not wanting to be sidetracked with unpleasant things I ignored his question, and got on with my joke.

"So Jake," I said, trying to be as serious as I could, "I was wondering, are you still waiting for me?"

His face went ashen, and he looked down, trying to avoid my eyes. "Well Bells, I…I mean…you and Edward…"

"Because," I said, "I have been thinking a lot about that day in the garage, it was so nice to see you again, and it breaks my heart to see you alone Jake. I mean, you did say there would never be anyone else. So I was thinking…."

"Bella, wait!" He interrupted.

"What is it Jacob?" I asked innocently. "You did say I would always be your choice, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did, but…"

"And…you did say you would never imprint on anyone so…"

"Bella…honey…I…please…wait…"

I could tell he was getting desperate.

Deciding that I'd had enough fun at his expense I added, "And I'm sure Leah won't mind sharing will she?"

"Bella…no...it's...just tha..." He stopped mid sentence my words registering, his mouth dropped open wide, and he stared at me in disbelief.

As I looked at him, I grinned like a Cheshire cat from eat to ear. As we silently looked at each other, he closed his mouth, his face becoming somewhat hard he asked, "How the hell could you know about that? Only the pack knows. I haven't even told Billy yet! I thought Alice couldn't see us."

"She can't, but I can; one of my new talents." I just smiled and let it sink in.

Suddenly sounding apologetic he said, "Bella, I'm so, so, sorry. I never believed it would happen that it _could _happen. I only saw you for so long, I never even imagined anyone else. Please forgive me."

"Jacob Black," I said incredulously, "Do you really believe I would be upset that you found your soul mate; someone that you love, who loves you? Who could be more perfect for you than Leah? You are already so much a part of each other. You're both Quileute, your both protectors. It makes so much sense Jacob, more sense even than Edward and me. I am so happy for you both Jacob. Leah needs you as much as you need her. And it's wonderful, because she knows that you will never break her heart, and you know that she will never break yours."

"But I'm breaking my promise to you." He said sadly.

"No," I said firmly. "You made a promise you couldn't possibly keep. I knew that you would never be able to keep it, either because of my love for Edward, or your imprinting someday. You _have_ kept me safe Jacob. You have saved my life more than once. You have been the best friend I could ask for. You have nothing to feel sad or guilty about. I'm just glad to have my friend back. And I hope I can have Leah as a new friend, though I don't know how she'll feel about that."

Jacob looked at me, his eyes full of emotion. He pulled me into his arms, "Thank you Bells, for always being my friend, no matter how big an idiot I am. I knew you loved Edward, and now I think I understand how much."

"Tell me about it, will you?" I asked.

"Well, it's so hard to explain. I got home and saw Billy first of course. He's been really worried about me. I felt bad that I left him. Sam called and said the pack wanted to come and say welcome home, so we all met over at first beach. It was great to see everyone, I really missed them."

I could see the warmth in his eyes as he talked about the pack. They were his brothers, and although he was connected to their minds, he had keenly felt the loss of their company.

He continued. "So at first beach everyone started showing up. I met the new guys; man they seem young. Anyway, Seth and Leah showed up, and I don't know, I looked at Leah and she looked at me, and it was like…

I could see him trying to find the right words to describe it.

"…like tunnel vision, or like having blinders on. I couldn't see anyone else in that moment, just Leah. She and I were always sort of bickering you know? But none of that mattered, I felt as though there was an electric current stretching between her and me. Then I noticed she was looking at me like the way I was feeling towards her. She was smiling, and it was almost as though I lost myself, and I didn't exist except in her eyes. The rest of the guys were just looking at us like we were crazy, except for Sam, Jared and Quill. Sam knew right away, and ordered everyone to leave us alone. Then we talked for hours Bells, longer than even you…."

He stopped and gave me a guilty look.

I smiled at Jacob and nodded as though I knew what he meant. And I did know; the hours I spent talking with Edward were the best times in my life, until after the wedding I reminded myself.

"We talked all day and night Bells. It was so great; then I realized something. I never looked at Leah like, well you know, like I looked at you. I never thought I'd think any other girl was as gorgeous as you. But now I look at her, and I can hardly believe how beautiful she is!"

I saw the love and longing in his eyes. I could tell he missed her even though she was only downstairs.

In that moment, all my fears for Jacob's happiness were stripped away. I could see how happy Leah would make him, and in turn how happy he would make her.

"It is overpowering isn't it? I asked.

"Wow, is all I can say, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

"Well," I said teasing, "You are pretty hard headed. I hope Leah's ready for that!"

"Yeah, well, like you said, we know each other pretty well."

"OK, let's go down and congratulate Leah, and you can get something to eat. I could use a bite myself."

Jacob lifted an eyebrow and looked at me sideways.

"Oh," I said to reassure him, "That's another of my talents, though it isn't new; I can still eat food."

"Really?" He said smiling.

"Uh huh," I said triumphantly. "Which is great, because Esme is a really good cook."

"Alright then," he said with a smile, "Let's go eat."

When we got to the kitchen, Seth, Leah and Alice were talking, while Edward was helping Esme with the food. They all stood up when we came in. Leah looked at our smiling faces with worry and suspicion.

I walked right up to her and hugged her and whispered, "I'm so happy for you both Leah. I couldn't think of anyone better for Jacob than you." Before she could process my first words, I offered her more, "I hope you know that you both will always be welcome here, or wherever we are. I hope we can be friends Leah, I would truly love that."

Her suspicion faded into a beautiful, brilliant smile. She looked at me, then Jacob, then back to me and said "Really Bella?"

I nodded in approval and said, "Congratulations to you both."

Seth and Edward smiled, having been in the secret, but Alice and Esme looked shocked.

"What?!" Alice shouted, Jacob and Leah?"

"How wonderful for you both," Esme said sweetly.

By now Jacob had encircled Leah with his long arms, and held her so sweetly, it brought tears to my eyes. Leah looked at me with thanks and contentment, and pulled me into their hug and said, "thank you Bella for letting Jacob go."

I looked at her with earnest and said, "He was never mine to keep Leah. He was always yours, we just didn't know it until now. You belong together and it makes me so happy that I can share it with you." I hugged her, and then Jacob. "Thank you Bells," he said, "thank you so much"

Abruptly Alice jumped up and sang out "Another wedding!" She smiled so big her normally perfect face almost looked deranged. "Jacob, Leah, you have to let me do the wedding!" she chimed.

"Jacob, Leah" I said, feigning impending danger, "run!"

"Oh Bella, stop it, your wedding was beautiful, and even you loved it."

I went and put my arms around her, "Yes it was Alice, and yes I did love it. But I don't think Jacob and Leah have even had time to…"

Suddenly as I looked at Alice, she had a eerie, distant look on her face.

She quickly looked at Edward, sharing what she had just seen with him.

"No!" Edward growled, "NO!"

"What is it Edward?" I asked feeling panicked.

Edward looked at me and then everyone else and said, "Alice please explain, I have to fetch the others. We need to talk. Jacob, you need to stay, and I would suggest you contact Sam, and have him join us. Your people have been pulled into this situation."

Jacob nodded, and Edward left in a flash.

We all sat at the table and Alice began. "I've seen that Jane, Alec, & the Volturi guard are moving. Or rather…they are coming, here!"

My heart sank, and I felt sick.

Alice continued, "They want to take out our family, because we are the next largest coven, and because we have…" Alice looked at me and let her voice trail off.

I looked back at her, but she turned her eyes away from me, and went on. "Jane and Alec want to put themselves in power. They have Felix and Demetri's allegiance. The guard are pretty much pawns. They will follow whoever they perceive to be in power. You were right Bella," she said looking at me again, "Marcus and Caius are dead."

"And Aro?" I asked.

"They're looking for him," she answered. "They don't know where he is. But they don't believe him to be a threat, or they would never have left Volterra. And there is more." She turned her attention to Jacob, Leah and Seth.

"What is it Alice?" Jacob asked.

Alice looked at Jacob with a look that was a cross between anger and deep sadness.

"Irina, the vampire that attacked Bella; she has joined Jane. I see them intending destroy everyone at La Push."

Jacob, Seth, and Leah all stood up abruptly, and began to shake, "NO! They won't" Jacob growled."

"You can't fight them all at once Jacob" she said deadly serious.

"We can, last time we…"

"Last time" Alice interrupted, "It was Victoria, with nineteen newborns. The guard has increased in number. They are now around twenty-five, not including Jane, and the others.

"Dear god, Alice," Esme said. Twenty-nine Volturi gaurds?"

Alice and Esme shared a heartbreaking moment of resignation. Then Alice nodded and continued, "The newborns were strong, but they were inexperienced, and easily turned against each other. That factor worked for us last time. That is not the case with the guard. They are seasoned, ruthless and disciplined. They are of one mind, and this is what they do; they destroy. And they have Jane and Alec's unique abilites. Jane can render someone helpless with pain, Alec can paralyze. You will not likely defeat them Jacob. Moreover, should they bring the fight to La Push, they will target your families first to divide you as you attempt to protect them. You will not avoid losing most if not all of them.

"Oh god Jacob," Leah moaned, "The people!"

"I have to call Sam," Jacob said, "I'll be back in just a minute."

Jacob took Leah into his arms and closed his eyes as he held her, I could already see the agonizing pain of loss on his face. Then he stepped out the back door, and off the porch. It took Jacob less than 5 minutes to phase to the wolf contact Sam and return as himself.

"Sam's coming with Paul, Jared, Quill and Embry." He said in a strained voice.

He immediately took Leah back into his arms. Leah was softly crying, burying her face in chest. "Jacob," she moaned, "my mom, Billy! What are we going to do?"

"It'll be ok, honey, I swear, it'll be ok."

He looked at me over her head, his eyes were filled with hopeless frustration.

All of my worst fears were suddenly upon me, and I thought I would lose my mind. I had to get outside, I had to think, but no I didn't want to think. I just wanted to run, run and have all the danger somehow be gone when I returned.

"I'll be right back." I said to Alice; she looked at me and said, don't go far Bella, we need you. I nodded.

I ducked out onto the back porch. I leapt over the rail, to the ground below and started running. Inevitably the tears started. I wanted to be somewhere that I didn't feel afraid, where I felt comfortable and safe. I ran faster and faster, with trees speeding by me in a blur. I wondered how I was able to avoid them. As I ran I was reminded of that first day Edward ran me back from our meadow…our meadow! I suddenly switched directions and within what seemed like only a few minutes I was there. It had taken me days with Jacob helping me to find it before, but now without any difficulty at all I found it. I stepped out into the meadow, and walked to the center and stopped. My mind began to spin, I thought of my family, and Jacob. I thought of the Quileutes; the pack, Billy, Emily, the families there at La Push. I saw the purple smoke of the pyres of my family, and the blood stained bodies of the pack and the villagers. Then I thought of Forks, and all the people there that would ultimately be in danger…and Charlie! I felt like I wanted to throw up, to explode. Finally I shook my fists in rage, and I let out a long scream of agony, falling to my knees in sobs. How could this happen; what could I do, how could I stop it. I curled up heaving with heavy breaths, I closed my eyes, and tried to focus, to think of something, anything that would help. I thought about the pictures in Carlisle's study. I thought about the two dead masters. I remembered what Jasper had said, that if the masters learned of Jane's intentions, they would have no trouble convincing the guard to remain loyal. Then I thought of Aro; where was he, was he in Volterra, or was he somewhere else. Suddenly I had an idea. An idea that was forming into something big, something that would not only save us, but one that would change all of our lives; and for the better I hoped.

I sat up and decided what I would say, and closed my eyes. I concentrated on Aro. _Aro…Aro…Aro, _I thought in my mind. I continued thinking of Aro and I began to feel the familiar feeling of falling, and coming to a stop. I opened my eyes, and was in a dark room. I was lying down, I felt lethargic, purposeless. I was in pain, internal pain. They were dead, both of them. My friends, my brothers, were gone, and I was alone. I had such a longing for them in my heart, and I didn't know what to do. I knew it was not my pain, but Aro's. I had always thought of the three masters with disdain, but I did feel the pain he had at the loss of friends that had been with him for millennia. Despite the needling thought that they deserved what they had gotten for the terror they had used to control the vampire world, I did feel sorry for him.

Finally I began, "_Aro? Aro can you hear me?"_

"_**Yes, I can. This is you sweet Bella is it not?"**_

"_Yes Aro," _I answered, _"it is._

"_**No doubt Alice has seen our condition. Marcus and Caius have been murdered…"**_

His voice trailed off in the agony he was suffering.

"_**I cannot access the guard away from Jane and Alec. She quite overcomes anyone that even appears to be faltering in their devotion. I am quite alone."**_

"_Not necessarily Aro." _I said. _"You have allies if you want them, if you are willing to re-examine the way that you have governed. _

"_**I am listening Bella,"**_He said.

"_Surely you see how governing with terror rather than justice has put you where you are now? _

I stopped for a moment to let him ruminate over what I said, then I continued, "_Jane is coming against our family." _

"_**Of course Bella," **_he said. _**"Your coven or family as you refer to yourselves, more than any other would be the next natural choice to govern after us. She does not want competition."**_

"_We cannot allow them to come to our home in Forks Aro. I think we need to stop them before they come here. Do you believe that the guard would defer to your authority, if you have the opportunity to speak to them?"_

_**I have no doubt that the guard are loyal to our…my authority."**_

"_Then I have some demands to make in exchange for our family assisting you." _

"_**Yes?"**_He asked tenuously.

"_We will help you, and you in turn will help us. I am not ignorant to the danger facing my family, and I know that we will be indebted to you for your help. However, you must see that change is needed in the governing of our kind. In exchange for our help you must agree to make changes in the way that governing is executed. _

"_**You said something about terms?" **_He reminded me.

"_You must agree," _I continued_ "to the following: First, you must govern differently. You will make Carlisle a co-governor of our society, and any decisions concerning our kind, must be mutually agreed upon by you both. In addition, any penalty deemed necessary, will be carried out as humanely as possible, and not done with vindictiveness or cruelty. There will be no more summery executions. Each individual must be judged individually." _

"_**Surely you must understand the need for swift action in the face of uncontrolled newborns, or **_

_**renegade individuals who threaten exposure of our society?"**_

"_I do understand Aro, that there are extreme cases which unfortunately require swift and terrible consequences. But Jane has administered your judgments with terrible cruelty, without regard to the individual situation. The idea of Volterra should not fill the rest of us with terror. We should be able to look to you in confidence that your dealings with our kind will be just."_

_**You take a great deal upon yourself to make such demands of me young Bella. Why do you **_

_**have such concern for the fate of newborns and rogues?**_

"_At the end of our family's war with the renegade Victoria, there was a young newborn called Bree. She voluntarily surrendered, and agreed to be taught by Carlisle to embrace our way of life. But Jane ignored that and had Felix destroy her. No second chances, according to her."_

"_**And that disturbs you? **_He asked a bit surprised.

"_Yes!" I said with anger. "She was Victoria's victim. Yes, she killed, but she didn't know what else to do. I chose this strange way of life, but Bree was dragged into it against her will. She was pulled from her family and friends, her life, and then killed for it. It was an obscene waste of life, which brings me to my next demand Aro._

"_**By all means my dear, continue."**_

"_Our vegetarian way of life, will no longer be referred to as an aberrance or unorthodox. It must be a mandatory option, to every vampire! It would be their choice whether to embrace it, but it must be offered. _

"_**Do you mean to suggest that I…"**_

"_I am not suggesting you change your…diet, Aro. I would point out however, how much better our kind would get along with the human world, if we were all vegetarian. _

"_**For myself, Bella I can make no promises. Even if I were inclined to try your way of life, millennia of preying on human blood would make changing almost insurmountable. But as to newborns, or other mature vampires as it were, I have no objection to them being educated in your lifestyle."**_

"_A mandatory education?" I pressed._

"_**A mandatory education, yes. **_He agreed.

"And one last demand. It is mine alone, but it is a demand that I will not waver on." I said with conviction and finality.

"_**Yes Bella, what would this demand be? **_He actually seemed amused.

"_Whosoever, we consider our allies or anyone under our protection, you will treat with the same regard in all aspects; that is all. Agreed?"_

He hesitated as though he were weighing non-existent options.

"_**Agreed."**_He said finally.

"_Agreed" _I said. _"Now what can you tell me about Jane, how is she most likely to come at us?_

"_**She and Alec are moving in mass, so they will not take the customary modes of travel. She will go east through Asia, and come across the Bearing strait into Alaska."**_

"_How long will it take them to reach Alaska? Do you think you can make it to Denali before them?" I asked. _

"_**With such a large company, to remain inconspicuous, they will have to move discretely and under the cover of night. I put them in Alaska in about a week. I have my own means of travel that Jane does not. I can be there in two days."**_

"_Good," I said. "I will talk with the family, and our allies, and we will meet you in Denali in two or three days at the latest."_

"_**I look forward to our reunion Bella," **_he said with his usual deceptive sweetness_**. "Farewell until then."**_

I knew I could not trust him implicitly. His thousands of years living in absolute authority ruthless, spoiled and profane, left him lacking a respect for life. Love and family were strange concepts to him. They were merely human emotions and so in his mind not worth considering. However, as I looked at his mind, his memories, and his loneliness now that his brother rulers were gone forever, I couldn't help feeling compassion for him. Before I released him I said, _"Aro, thank you so much for your help and for you trust. I hope you know how much it means to me. I will be grateful to you forever." _I waited for a response.

"_**You are truly unique Bella, among our kind. I have never encountered anyone like you, human or vampire. I would like to get to know you better. Perhaps you can help me to understand you and your family. I will try to honor your trust in me; goodbye sweet Bella."**_

Then I released him and he was gone.

I fell back to myself; I opened my eyes, and I realized the sun had poked through the cloud cover. I looked down at my skin and it sparkled as though covered in a thousand prisms. I had seen Edward in this way, but to see it on my own skin, brought a new sense of wonder to me. It was so beautiful, though time was pressing, I had to sit a while and look. I thought about the bargain I had struck with Aro, and felt a strange sense of calm control, and power, unlike any I had ever known. I looked up, and began to enjoy the picture of the meadow in the sunlight. I was green and alive. Despite it being late August, I knew it probably wasn't a warm day; but my vampire temperature made me impervious to the weather. As I continued to survey the meadow, I saw a familiar sight that filled me with a surreal sort of euphoria, Edward at the edge of the meadow, walking towards me. I smiled as he came closer. His face was not smiling though; he had a sad, forlorn look. His eyes looked pained, and I was reminded of my dream the morning of our wedding; it wasn't the same though. His eyes weren't expressing what he saw in my eyes, it was something else.

As I stood up, his pace increased and he quickly reached me, enfolding me in his arms. He said nothing, but just held me, leaning his cheek on my head. It was the best place in my world, to be in his arms, and I was in no hurry to leave them. However, I knew we had work to do, and plans to make, so I finally I pulled away and looked into his eyes. They were so full of pain; I caressed his cheek with my hand and leaned up to kiss him. He abruptly pulled me off my feet into his embrace and kissed me with ferocity. We fell back and there in the middle of our meadow made love. It had always been one of my most cherished fantasies while still human. The real event was different from my dreams though. The manner in which Edward had made love with me was almost desperate, as though it would be the last time. Afterward he held me, still saying nothing. I had to break the silence. "Edward, what is it? This was wonderful, but it felt strange, almost like you're saying goodbye."

He closed his eyes and put his arm over his eyes as though he were weeping.

"Edward," I pleaded, "Talk to me."

"We can't win Bella," He said with devastation in his voice. "It's checkmate however we look at it. If we fight, we'll be outnumbered. If the Quileutes assist us or not, their people will be attacked and die regardless. Either way we must fight and we cannot win. Do you understand what I'm saying Bella? It is hopeless, hopeless."

I took his arm away from his eyes, got to my feet pulling him with me and said, "No love, not hopeless; desperate maybe, but not hopeless."

"What are you saying Bella?"

"I'm saying we have an ace in the hole; I'm saying we do have a chance; I'm saying we will win!"

He shook his head and said, "You don't understand."

"Oh yes I do," I said with determination. "We have a lot to do in a short time Edward, let's go!"

"What are you talking about?" He asked warily.

"I'll explain on the way, come on!"


	20. Treaty

20. Treaty

As we ran together back home, I began thinking about what a victory now would mean. Not just for Edward and I, not just for the family, and not just for Jacob and the rest of the Quileutes. I could see it having an impact on our entire way of life. With Carlisle's compassionate judgment to temper Aro's arrogance and ambivalence, perhaps there could be governing without terror. Perhaps there would never be another Bree, destroyed without mercy or recourse. I never knew just how much Bree had affected me. I had looked at her with fear; fear of her wanting my blood, but also fear that I was looking at my future self. Although both fears were now dispelled, I knew that it was something more than that, something about Bree herself. I remember her wild look of confusion and fear, not understanding completely what had happened to her. Not understanding that she had been a pawn for Victoria, nor realizing that she would become Jane's example to emphasize the Volturi's policy of no second chances. As I had said to Aro, I had chosen this life, and I did so understanding my sacrifices and consequences. Bree had been kidnapped from her family, from her very life, and then summarily murdered, an expendable commodity in the clandestine world she had been recruited into against her will. As much as I had hated the memory of her in her wild newborn state, I pitied her. I wondered how many other newborns had been created as disposable soldiers in the southern wars Jasper had told us about. How many children had been ripped from their homes and loved ones, only to be slaughtered. I hoped this pact with Aro would see an end to such cruel waste. I knew our victory against Jane was the key to that dream, and I wanted it to come true. It was a driving force in my present course, almost as compelling as the protection of my family and Jacob's.

I could see Edward glancing sideways at me as we ran. His face was pained with insecurity but also wonder at what I was up to. I thought it might be better if I quickly explained to him before we got home. I slowed my pace, he responded in kind, and finally I stopped. He knew I was about to explain myself, so he crossed his arms and with a serious brow, waited for me to begin.

"I've spoken to Aro," I said.

His face becoming animated he asked, "He's alive? How? Where?"

I smiled and tapped the side of my head.

"What did he say to you?"

"He confirmed what we already knew, Caius and Marcus are dead. Jane had them killed."

His face became serious again as he nodded.

"He told me how he believes Jane will come at us. He thinks that she'll have the guard moved at night, travel east through Asia, and across the Bering Strait into Alaska. He says she'll want to stay inconspicuous."

"It makes sense," he said. "They'll need to hunt, and with the Alaskan populations so spread out, that many hunters can range out and not attract too much attention. They will probably wait until Alaska to hunt."

I nodded and continued. "He puts them in Denali in about a week. He's meeting us there in two days, three at the most."

"What?" He said shocked. "Why would he meet us in Denali? What good would it do?"

"He said that if he can speak to the guard apart from Jane, he knows they will switch their allegiance back to him. We can't let them reach Forks Edward, we can't let them get that close to the town or La Push. If we face them in Alaska at least the guard won't be able to attack the Quileute families, or anyone in Forks.".

"But if we fail, they will come here and finish the job."

"That's why we mustn't fail; why we _can't_ fail!"

My eyes were hard but pleading the case of my plan. I wasn't sure of anything, only the resolve that we had to win. Everyone we loved was at stake. There was no other choice but to win.

Edward looked at me, his eyes questioning, trying to understand what I was thinking. He finally asked, "Bella what are you doing? Why would Aro agree to help like this?"

"He has no other options," I said. "He knows if he stays in Italy, and Jane wins, she'll eventually find him, and that will be the end. I said that we and our allies will help him defeat Jane and Alec and give him back his place in Volterra, but with some differences."

"What differences?" he asked suspiciously.

I explained the agreement that Aro and I had made, protecting our family and Jacob and the Quileutes. I told him about my condition of Carlisle being co-counsel on all matters, and respecting our allies, and absolutely no snap decision executions.

He looked at me as though he was had an ongoing internal debate. He looked like someone who was waiting for the outcome of a loved one's surgery; hoping to hear good news, but not believing that they would. He finally asked, "Bella, what do you think we can really do against so many seasoned guards?"

"I believe," I said, "that with our family and Jacob's pack, Aro and I, we might just win this thing after all."

My face must have expressed my absolute conviction that my plan would work. After all, what else could I do but believe that it would? The idea of any of my family or any of Jacob's pack or people being killed, was too horrible for me to even consider. No, there was no other outcome for me to consider.

His face remained serious in thought, but expressing differing emotions. I could tell he was debating in his mind scenarios to defeat the guard.

"Bella," he said, "I still don't see how it will help. Our numbers just aren't enough to fend off twenty-nine seasoned guards. Even if we by some miracle were to win, we won't do so without losses Bella. Losses so great," he continued with a look of profound pain in his eyes, "That there wouldn't be enough of us left to defend Forks and La Push."

I closed my eyes and fought with all my might to fend off the premature grief that wanted to invade my mind. I stopped it. I could not, would not allow myself to entertain any thoughts of losing any of the people I loved.

"No," I began.

"Bella," he tried to gently interject.

"NO!" I said almost in a growl.

Edward looked at me as though he were expecting a repeat of my pre-hunt insanity.

I softened my tone and said, "Edward, I've been thinking about this. Remember when Jasper told us about the southern wars, how they would have to frequently replace their ranks because the newborns would often turn on each other? According to Bree, that even happened with Victoria's group, right?"

"Yes Bella," he said. "But those were newborns, which were not in control, who could not reason the wisdom of not attacking each other. They saw each other as competition, as a threat."

I smiled, and nodded my head.

He looked at me trying to decipher my thoughts through my expression, but being unsuccessful, continued, "But…that isn't the case here. The Volturi guards are not newborns without reason. They won't turn on each other without provocation."

My smile got larger as I said, "And what if they did have provocation to attack each other?"

"Why would…they wouldn't…" He stopped short when my idea became clear. "Bella! Do you think you can do that? We don't have names for you to concentrate on. Do you think you can concentrate on a visual target?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully, "But I have a feeling the answer is yes. I think if I can cause enough dissention in the ranks so to speak, it will give us and the wolf pack the edge we need to win. And with Aro there, those that remain will probably see the wisdom of switching their loyalty back."

"But," he said, "There still is the issue of Jane. Her ability is powerful, and she will use it to end the squabbles that you create."

"Well, I'm thinking if I attack the very rear of the guards so that those ahead can't see, I might be able to get to at least half a dozen of so before Jane knows anything about it."

He considered what I was saying nodding in agreement, but then added, "There still the issue of Demetri and Felix. Jane will have them patrolling with and around the guards. Demetri's tracking skills make him very sharp. If he is near to the guards you are targeting, he may know something is up. Also, you've seen enough of Felix to know how deadly he is. How do we protect you during an onslaught if you are…away from yourself and they happen upon you?"

We'll have to find a place where I can be hidden, but will be able to see the guards so I can focus on them. Someone can stay with me, to call me back if someone finds us. Then between that person and me, we'll be able to defend ourselves."

I knew he was thinking that person would be him. I knew, if we had a chance, Edward would need to add his skill and strength to the battle. I felt a pain in my heart at that thought, but I ignored it. And I would let Edward go on thinking he would be my protector…for now.

A small smile stretched across his face, and then a timid look of hope. "Bella!" he said optimistically, "this might actually work. We have to hurry; we have to talk to Carlisle and the family, and we need to talk to Jacob as well."

We made the distance home in minutes, Carlisle meeting us at the door.

"Oh thank goodness you found her," he said relieved, but somewhat reprimanding. "We were worried about you Bella, you really shouldn't scare us like that."

Poor Carlisle looked worse than Edward had before. He was the head of our family, the patriarch, the one with all the answers. But the situation was one that none of them could see a way out of. I could tell it was weighing heavy on his mind, and breaking his heart. I thought it would be best to give him a direction to channel his frustration of not being able to save his family. I hugged him and said, "I'm sorry I worried you Carlisle, but, we have a lot of work to do, so I'll grovel for forgiveness later."

He looked at me somewhat stunned, and then at Edward who was smiling with relief and with pride.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked. "What are you up to Edward?"

"Not me," Edward deferred shifting his eyes in my direction, "Bella. I think she may have just saved us Carlisle."

Quickly Edward and I laid out my plan for victory. He listened and then put his chin in his hand, looking very physician-ish, he began muttering about planning, strategies, and coordinating. It seemed as though he were weighing the entire operation from start to finish, calculating the odds of success. He smiled and called for Alice and Jasper.

They appeared within moments, Alice's face showed she was seeing things changing. "Bella," she said suspiciously, what are you up to? I'm seeing things with Jane changing, but I there are huge holes in what I'm seeing. I can't see a clear outcome."

"That must be because it involves Jacob and pack," I said.

"What?" She asked, "_what_ are they involved in?"

"We're going to Denali," I said with command, "all of us.

Alice looked at me eyes wide and questioning as I explained my plan, but Jasper looked as though he were calculating something in his head. As he looked pensively into space, a smile slowly spread across his face. He looked at me with a knowing glance, and said, "I have to find Emmett, I'll be back." He took off like a flash in search of Emmett. Edward and Carlisle went to tell Esme.

Alice was still looking at me questioning, and then her eyes stared past my face into space. After a few moments, her gaze returned to me, and she smiled cautiously.

"So?" I asked, "Happy ending?"

Her smile faded to a serious face, and she said, "Mostly Bella, at least I think so. I can't see everything because of Jacob and the others. I can't see them, and I…can't…I can't see some of us, probably because the outcome involves the wolves."

I didn't like the uncertainty of her answer or the concern that came over her face, but I had every confidence in my plan. I had an uncommon clarity of thought now. I knew that although I still possessed human traits, my vampire senses were heightened to an extreme level. I only had what I witnessed of Edward and the others as a comparison, but I knew that I was strong, fast, and coordinated. All three had been elusive to me in my human life. I would use them all to their full potential now. Now I had a more critical reason for using them; the survival of my family, including Jacob and the Quileutes.

I looked at Alice and asked, "Who can't you see Alice?"

"You, Bella" she answered seriously.

I had no sense of foreboding, so I chalked it up to my proximity with one of the wolves. I nodded and let my stare bore into Alice's eyes, and said, "Forget about that now, put it out of your mind Alice, and don't think about it, until this is all over! And whatever you do, swear to me you will not tell Edward about this."

Alice looked me up and down, and came over and put her arms around me and said, "I swear I will do whatever is in my power to keep it from my mind. And I will not tell him…until after." She added.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to our family Bella" she said. "I love you."

I shouldn't have happened as focused as I was on the survival of my family, but it did; large slow tears streamed down my face as I embraced my sister. I had always had a special relationship with Alice. Whether it was because she was the first in the family to accept me as Edward's choice, or because she had seen me so clearly becoming a vampire, and part of the family, it didn't matter. We were almost as close as Edward and I. She was the sister I never had, and the best friend I could ever ask for. I touched my heart as we just stood and embraced each other.

We both turned automatically at some faint rhythmic sounds moving towards the house. We looked out the window, and saw Jacob, Leah and Seth leading Sam and the rest of the wolf pack. I was surprised to see Emily at Sam's side, but I was happy to see her again.

"Jacob went to get Sam while you were gone," Alice said. "We had already come to a pretty hopeless conclusion," she added, "but Jacob wanted to put our heads together anyway to see what we could come up with."

"Not hopeless anymore," Edward said behind us. He put his arms around us both and added, "We will survive this, correct Alice?" I didn't look at Alice, but trusted her to keep her word if she was able.

"Absolutely!" Alice said with confidence.

Edward looked at her somewhat confused and asked, "What is that rolling around your head…baking soda?"

"I'm trying to remember a recipe," she said. "When we get home, your wife is going to need a celebratory feast; right Bella?"

"That would be great Alice," I said.

I then grabbed Edward and kissed him with as much feeling as I could muster. He responded as I'd hoped, as much to side track him from Alice's thoughts, as to satisfy my own longing.

"I can think of a better feast to celebrate with," he said with a heavy voice.

I knew I was blushing, but it was all the better to keep him out of Alice's head.

"I'd better greet the Quileutes" he said, his eyes burning into mine. I nodded, and as he turned to go out the door, I gave Alice a knowing glance, which she returned.

I joined Edward on the porch to greet Jacob and the others.

"Welcome everyone," Edward said warmly.

"You seem unusually cheery for the situation," Sam commented.

"Things are beginning to look up" Edward answered. "I know we have not always been comfortable with each other, but we are all once again, faced with a common enemy, who would not only destroy us, but your families. We would not otherwise ask you to join us again. However, Bella has had an idea that we believe will be successful not only in the saving of our lives, but the removal forever of the threat. If we are successful, we will be able to be neighbors and friends in the truest sense. Please come in friends, and Bella will explain the details of our plan."

The Cullen house felt very full with the wolf pack and Emily filling the bottom floor. The air was thick with the bitter odor I had originally smelled on Jacob the morning after my change. I was wondering if the rest of the family smelled it. The tendency of the werewolves to be huge even in their human form filled the room more than amply. I realized the pack had grown from the original eight to twelve. I stared at four new boys standing among the group.

"Collin, Brady, Caleb and Zachary all joined the pack in weeks preceding our wedding" Edward acknowledged noticing my stare.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked.

"The arrival of new wolves usually has to do with impending danger to the Quileutes from our kind. I didn't want to worry you before the wedding." He looked apologetic and added, "I was being selfish again, I wanted our wedding day to be perfect, I didn't want you to think about anything but us."

I smiled and hugged him, "I was perfect Edward, just like you."

He just smiled and shook his head, showing his continuing disagreement of my high opinion of him. It was an argument that neither of us would ever win, and at the moment wasn't important. I turned my attention back to the wolf pack.

The younger Quileutes were serious, trying to mimic the demeanor of their older packmates. I noticed young Caleb sticking close to Seth's side. His attention to Seth reminded me of the way Seth had attached himself to Jacob. Seth, although still just a boy himself, had proven himself to be a fierce fighter, and a loyal friend after the battle with Victoria. Edward and he had kept in contact, even after Jacob left. He had given Edward updates from time to time. But they had always been the same, no news. I looked at Seth in his human form, and realized that like Jacob, he had become somewhat harder in appearance. He still had the boyish look of youth about him, but his face seemed wiser somehow. Caleb sat happily next to Seth as they waited for things to progress. Looking at his cherub like face, no one would suspect him to be a protector. I tried to picture what he would look like in his wolf form, and had to stifle a laugh at the mental picture of a gangly puppy running around with the huge wolves. I had a familiar pang of guilt in my heart, thinking about such youngsters being thrust into such deadly circumstances. But I knew that it was beyond my control to change. The Quileutes would do whatever was necessary to protect their people, even sacrificing their youngest fighters if that's what was required. I felt the tears wanting to surface, but they were interrupted by Carlisle's voice.

"Sam, Jacob, all of you who have come to our home in peace, welcome. Once again, we face a common threat to our lives and those of our loved ones We despaired initially, believing that there was no way for us and our loved ones to survive. But Bella, has envisioned and set in motion a plan to defeat our enemies. We would ask that you listen to her plan, and that you join us to finally destroy this threat, so that we may all live in peace. Bella if you would be so kind."

Carlisle sat down and gave me the floor.

I explained my idea, and also my ability. Sam, Jacob and the others sat and listened without emotion, scrutinizing every detail. Next I described all that had passed between Aro and myself. I told them of his agreement concerning our allies, and that I believed it would mean a greater and more secure peace between our kind and theirs. The pack, Sam especially nodded in agreement. I looked at Sam and Emily, who embraced each other almost in relief, but then look into each other eyes with a sort of sad recognition. I was filled with a sudden feeling of grief, then Emily looked up at me and nodded.

Carlisle stood again and said, "Thank you Bella," and continued. "The last time we faced a common enemy together, we were successful. We believe we will be successful this time as well; however we do not have a guarantee that we will not suffer casualties. We must all be prepared for the worst. We, all of us, are in great peril in this endeavor. But to do nothing would mean certain obliteration, not only for our family, but also your people. We are grateful to your fathers, and to you, for keeping faith with us and our treaty. As we go forward, we go with one mind and one objective, to make our loved ones and ourselves safe."

The Quileutes all nodded in agreement, and then Sam spoke. "We are grateful for all your family has done for us, and for keeping of the treaty made with our father Ephraim Black. We will go forward to face our enemies again side by side with your family. But we will not leave our people without protectors here. Our younger pack members will remain to guard the people at La Push"

There was a general outcry among the four younger wolves, especially Caleb. Sam raised a hand and looked at the young Quileutes with authority. They were immediately silent, looking compliant but miserable.

I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that the younger pack would be spared the horrible battle ahead of us.

After the quieting of the young pack members, Sam continued, "Tonight begins the dawn of a new treaty between our people and yours. Having proved your love for the life of not only your family but also our people, your family will now and forever be welcome in friendship to La Push and all our lands. All of you will be part of our people. And those you call friends who accompany you, will be treated as such. It is a trust that has been hard won, and should be rewarded you. Let all pack members now acknowledge and swear to uphold this new treaty that we now enter into with the Cullens. Their friends are our friends, their enemies our enemies."

All twelve pack members said "we agree" in unison.

Carlisle looked stunned, and as though if it were possible, he would break down in tears. He took Sam's hand and said his voice breaking, "my friend and my brother." It was a special moment for me to see Carlisle and Sam shake hands in agreement. I knew no matter what happened now it was the start of a deeper friendship with the Quileutes and our family.

Carlisle composed himself and continued. "We need to meet Aro in Denali, and we should leave soon, within the hour if at all possible. We have a private plane ready to leave from Fairchild Airport in Port Angeles, which will carry us to Anchorage; from there we well travel to Denali, the home of our close friends Carmen, Eleazar and Kate."

All three nodded in acknowledgement as Carlisle introduced them. I could see the grief that was still fresh in their eyes, and wished there were something I could have done to ease their pain, but I knew there wasn't. I worried about what more they would suffer when Irina met with her reckoning. Yes, I had no doubt we would be successful, but Carlisle's words about casualties, weighed heavy on my heart. I would do whatever I could to prevent anyone from getting hurt, though I knew it might not be enough.

After our meeting, the Quileutes wanted to return to La Push for a few minutes to prepare the men and to say goodbye to their families. It broke my heart to imagine it might be for the last time for some of them.

I waited on the porch as they left.

As Sam and Emily were passing, Emily asked, "Bella, could I speak with you for a moment?

"Of course," I said.

We walked back into the now vacant living room. "I'm so glad to see you again Emily," I said.

Emily still had a sort of sad smile on her face, and replied, "I am happy to see you also Bella. I was hoping I would get to see you one last time."

I looked at her with questions in my eyes.

She hugged me again, and whispered, "We all have our part to play Bella, I have to be here for Sam, and for everyone else. You must not be sidetracked, stay on your path, it is the right one."

"What do you mean Emily?" I asked. "You're coming with us to Alaska?"

She nodded. "Sam and I are linked by more than marriage. We are meant to be together, here and in Alaska, to the end."

She sounded more like she was predicting an event more than merely expression their relationship.

Then a question came to my mind. "Emily, do you have visions? Can you see what will happen in the future like Alice?"

Emily smiled a little more warmly and answered, "No Bella, I cannot see the future. I only see the past of my people, and all that has happened since. We Quileutes know the value of our history; it doesn't show us the future, but rather guides us to it. You are making history for your people now. You will have a long memory Bella. Never forget the challenge that we are facing. Never forget the outcome, good or bad. Pass it along to all of your people. It will ensure a more peaceful existence for your people, with each other, and with us."

Listening to Emily, I could almost see in her eyes, the long history of the Quileutes and I realized the depth of her love for her people, and for Sam. I knew that she was a fitting mate for the leader of the wolf pack, and I was glad to have her as a friend.

"I have a request Bella." She waited for my response.

"Anything Emily," I answered.

"If something happens to Sam and me, take care of Jacob and Leah. They will need you and your family; your counsel, and your friendship."

I looked at Emily and felt a very real sense of fear for her. "What do you mean Emily?"

"Promise me?" She asked again.

"You have my word Emily, but what…."

She held up her hand, and stepped away from me, "We have much to do, and perhaps we will talk later." With a look that clearly said she was done talking, she smiled, turned, and went to join Sam. I wasn't sure what to make of our conversation, but something about Emily's being there was familiar. I couldn't figure out why though, and it weighed on my mind. I decided I would think about it later, and I followed her with my eyes as she left.

I walked out and met Jacob, Leah and Seth waiting for me. They wanted to say goodbye to Sue and Billy before leaving. As we walked, I noticed the three of them were giving each other sideways glances, and then looking at me. I stopped and asked "What?"

The three of them looked like they had been caught red handed at something.

"What is it guys?" I asked more insistency.

"Well Bells," Jacob began, "there's something we've been debating about telling you. We thought it could wait, but under the circumstances, we thought we should tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Well, it's actually about Charlie Bells."

"Charlie!" I immediately imagined the worst. I had so much going on since the return from Denali I hadn't had time to think about Charlie. I was suddenly imagining the worst.

"What about Charilie? Is he ok, did he get hurt? Tell me Jacob!"

"Bella calm down." Jacob said trying to calm me. "He's fine, really. Actually he's ecstatic."

I looked at Jacob suspiciously. "What do you mean Jacob? If he's ok what is this about?"

Jacob squinted his eye, and sort of bit his bottom lip, trying to figure out how to tell me.

Finally Leah interrupted, "Bella, it's about Charlie and my mom."

I looked at her not understanding what she was getting at.

"Charlie has been spending a lot of time at our house in the last few weeks."

I continued to stare at her.

She continued a little more deliberately. "He's been spending a lot of time with _my mom_."

For a moment, I still didn't understand, but then realization hit me!

"Charlie…and…Sue?!"

All three of them looked at me as though they were waiting for me to explode.

"I…think…that's WONDERFUL!" I laughed.

Jacob and Seth sighed in relief and Leah laughed along with me.

"It was so fast," Leah said. "You know your dad was such a help after our dad died, and they got along so well, I guess it was sort of inevitable."

"Are they really happy?" I asked.

"Boy are they," Seth added. "It's almost as bad as Jacob and Leah!"

"Shut up!" Jacob said, trying to punch Seth in the arm. Seth just danced out of the way of Jacob's swing and laughed.

Then turning to me Jacob asked, "Do you want to see him before we go Bella?"

My heart suddenly became very heavy, as I said "No Jacob. I know that the way I have turned out, may make it possible to see Charlie again, but I can't come back into his life, and leave again, if there's a possibility that I won't come back. It wouldn't be fair to Charlie. He's happy now with your mom, I don't want to spoil it. He deserves to be happy. And you know other than you weird smelling Quileutes, I have only had one test with the scent of human blood, I don't want to push it while I'm around Charlie."

As I was speaking my eyes began staring off into nothing, as I thought about whether I could truly resist human blood. Carlisle had said he felt human food was my primary food source. But the lion's blood was so satisfying. I wondered if I would even have a chance to find out.

I continued to ruminate until I felt Edwards arms around me.

"Are you ok Bella?" he asked.

"We were just telling her about Charlie," Seth told him.

Edward looked at Seth, reading his thoughts and said, "that's wonderful, isn't it Bella?"

"Yes, it is. Knowing Charlie's happy is the best thing I could hear right now."

I turned my attention back to Jacob. "Don't tell him you told me Jacob ok? If…when we get back, I'll go over and see them both. Anyway it will give me time to come up with an explanation about my eyes."

"Yeah," Jacob laughed, "they are kind of a freaky green."

"You told me I was beautiful Jacob," I teased.

He looked nervously between Leah and me. "Uh…er…well you are…ah..."

I just laughed and said, "Oh come on, we're past that. We're all family now remember. I mean after all Alice has threatened you with a wedding right?"

We all laughed, and then they left to say their goodbyes.

Edward and I just stood and watched them go.

"It's good to know Charlie is happy isn't it? He asked.

"Yes it is. I hope I get to see him again Edward."

"Hey you were the one who said we would win, remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but I also remember Carlisle's words about casualties."

"I will not let anything happen to you Bella," he said almost in a growl.

It struck me that Edward might lose focus in the battle to defend me, and I had to deal with it now.

I looked at him as serious as I could, "Edward, you cannot focus on me during the battle. You have to focus on winning the battle. We all have to play our parts Edward. If we don't stay focused, we may lose everything!"

His face was hard, and he shook his head slightly. "I can't lose you Bella, not now, not after everything. Why do you think I was so upset in the meadow? The thought of not being with you one day let alone forever, is more than I can bear. What if we don't survive?"

"At least we'll be together in a bet…"

He interrupted, "a better place? Is that what you were going to say?"

I nodded.

"What if there is no better place for us Bella? What if Carlisle is wrong about us having a soul, and a chance at redemption?" He pulled me tightly to him and held on as though I would disappear. It felt like when we made love in the meadow; it felt like goodbye."

"Don't!" I said angrily pushing away from him. "Don't you say goodbye to me!"

"Bella, I don't know what will happen we could…

"Die Edward?"

He said nothing but looked at me with pain in his eyes; that ancient sadness that tormented me to see there. I began to understand a little at what was really behind that sadness. To live forever had its costs. Forever thirsting for blood and exclusion from the normality of the human world however, were not the worst prices to pay. I could finally imagine the pain he must have carried with him believing that there would be nothing following this existence. In my ignorant enamored pursuit of Edward, I failed to see the depth of his insecurity about his life. It was something that humans dealt with everyday, but in my pre-vampire mind, I assumed the perfection I saw in him, was a reflection of every part of his being. Vampires lived forever; they didn't have to worry about the after life. Perhaps that was true of the nomads, who only lived to feed. Their lust for human blood, did not afford them the opportunity to make strong emotional connections, and so left them without the restraint of conscience or the pain of loss. In the Cullen family though, the ties of their love were cords of iron, which along with the joy of family, brought also the possibility of profound sadness should a loved one be lost. And for Edward the question remained unanswered; was there an after life for us? Would our death here be the end, would we be truly nothing more than dust, and forever separated? Carlisle believed vampires had a soul; he tried to convince Edward of that. Edward was still unsure though. It had been the driving force behind his reluctance in changing me; that he might be condemning my soul. In the face of a real possibility that some of us might not survive the coming battle, it brought into sharp focus the reality of that fear.

I regretted finishing his sentence. I took his face in my hands and said, "I've never been a big one for church Edward, but one thing I am sure of, is that you have a soul, you, Carlisle, the others and me. And I cannot believe that someone so giving, so selfless and kind, would have no chance of an afterlife. I believe with all my heart Edward, that in this world or the next, yes the next, we will always be together."

He smiled at me, his eyes somewhat less sad and said, "I have done nothing in this world, human or vampire, to deserve you Bella. I know I've already said it, but it doesn't make it any less true. There must be a benevolent God to have allowed me such a gift. And if he thought me worthy enough to have you, then perhaps there is hope for us after this life. You've given me hope for that Bella."

We held each other, and prepared ourselves for the unknown. I looked into his eyes, re-memorizing his beautiful features, to carry with me into battle, or the next world.


	21. flight

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

21. Flight

It was just over an hour after the Jacob and the rest left, that we were on our way to the airport in Port Angeles. Sam said the pack would meet us there. When we arrived, our plane was fueled and ready to go. The family waited on the field to greet the Quileutes. As we waited, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye; a figure behind us, running up the stairs to the plane. Something told me to go and look around the plane. I began trotting up the stairs and looked back to see Edward giving me a questioning look.

"I'll be right back ok?" I said.

He nodded and turned back to wait for Jacob and the others.

I stepped through the door, and looked around the passenger lounge; nothing. I decided to look in the bedroom. I passed through the door, and suddenly I really saw the décor. I decided if we did make it through this, I would take Edward's advice and redo the bedroom. Lost in my thoughts about decorating, I heard a noise coming from the bathroom. I opened the door to find young Caleb, trying to hide in the shower. If I hadn't been so upset to see him there I would have been laughing at the sight.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with anger in my voice. "You're supposed to back at La Push guarding the people."

Caleb didn't say anything, he just looked at me with a bit of wonder in his eyes. I realized that the younger werewolves had no first hand experience with vampires, vegetarian or nomad, only the memories of Sam, Jacob and the other's who had helped in the war against Victoria. There visit to our home for the meeting was the only time they had even seen vampires. I looked at him amazed at how young he seemed.

"Caleb," I asked again with a softer voice, "_what_ are you doing here?"

"I wanna help," he finally answered. "I wanna come and help."

"Caleb, it's too dangerous, you're too young."

He had a hurt look on his face. "I'm not too young, I'm only a couple years younger than Seth."

"You don't have any experience with vampires Caleb, Seth does. And even his experience is only with newborn vampires who don't fight as well as the vampires we are facing."

"I'm not afraid!" he said stubbornly, and I believed him. "I've been training with Seth, he's taught me everything."

"Everything?" I shot back. He can't teach you what he doesn't know. I told you the vampire Seth fought was a newborn. He has no experience with the Volturi guard. You'll get hurt Caleb, your not ready for this."

"I don't care," he said defiantly, "And I am ready. I'm a protector just like the other guys."

"What is it with you Quileute boys, not caring if you're facing impossible odds that could get you killed?"

"It's a wolf thing!" He answered with pride.

He was a protector all right, all bravado and no brains! I was starting to feel the frustration I used to feel trying to reason with Jacob. "How did you get here Caleb?" I asked wearily.

"I used Jacob's old motorcycle."

I had to smile that I had inadvertently provided him the means to be here.

Hoping my smile meant I was softening, he said, "Please miss Bella, don't send me home. Let me come and help. I wanna go with Seth and Jacob, please?"

I knew I had to say no, and send this young boy home. I was about to shoo him out and put him back on the motorcycle. But something was needling me, needling me to let him come with us. It was though a voice in my head was telling me that he had some part to play in this battle, and I couldn't send him home.

"Please?" He asked again.

I hesitated looking into his huge brown eyes, and finally said, "You stay in that shower, until I decide when to let the other's know you're here."

He smiled and I almost gasped as I felt like I was looking into the face of Jacob so long ago on First Beach. I had to smile back.

"The guys already know I'm here" his smile fading a bit. "Sam's really mad at me."

"Well, I'll do what I can to convince him to let you come ok?"

"Thanks miss Bella."

"It's just Bella."

"Thanks…Bella."

I left Caleb in the bathroom, and joined the family outside the plane. Edward put his arm around me and asked "everything ok?"

"Oh, just a little problem in the bathroom, that's all."

He looked at me with a suspicious smirk and asked, "Would you like me to take care of it?"

"No, it's about to be taken care of right now," I said, motioning towards the approaching Quileutes.

Sam led the group, Emily at his side. He had a hard look on his face as he approached me. Edward tensed not understanding Sam's attitude, however after reading his thoughts, he relaxed, turned to me and asked, "Caleb is the little problem in the bathroom huh?"

"Yep," I said without fanfare.

"Where is he Bella?" Sam asked.

"I'll take you to him," I said. "Edward, would you mind if I talk to Sam alone?" I asked.

"Not at all," he answered.

Sam and I walked up the stairs, and into the passenger lounge. Sam knowing I had something to say stopped and faced me.

"Sam," I began, "I know your first instinct is to send Caleb home, but I would like you to reconsider letting him come along."

"Why are you asking this of me Bella?" He asked.

"It's hard to explain Sam, but I feel Caleb has some role to play here, though I can't tell you what it is. But I feel it so strongly Sam, I'm asking you to please let Caleb stay."

Sam looked at me scrutinizing my face, deciding whether or not to trust my feeling. Finally, he nodded, and closed his eyes for a moment. The next moment Caleb walked timidly out of the bedroom.

Sam turned his head and glared at him for a moment. Then he spoke, "Do you know what it is to put your pack and the people before yourself?"

Caleb dropped his eyes and looked like a condemned man.

"Did you ever consider the reason I had you stay was because of the four of you youngsters, I consider you the most capable of looking after the people?"

Caleb's eyes lifted just a little as Sam went on. "The reason we are protectors is to keep the people safe. If it were not for the people being in danger, we would not even be going to Alaska right now. I will not always be with you, to lead you, to guide you on the right path. You must keep the trust I give you and protect the people with your life Caleb. The next time I assign you a task, you will do what you've been entrusted to do!"

"Yes Sam," was all Caleb could muster.

"Bella says that you should come with us, that you have a part to play. If that is your fate in the protection of our people, then I will not stand in the way, but you will do nothing without my permission, NOTHING! Do you understand me Caleb?"

Caleb nodded, and Sam turned and walked back out the cabin door.

I looked at Caleb and winked as I turned to find Edward. I wondered if my feeling hadn't just condemned Caleb to die young; my heart began to ache at that thought.

The family and the Quileutes got on board and took their seats. Edward poked his head into the cockpit and gave the pilot his instructions for the flight. Seth looked around and whistled and said "wow, this is so cool!" Caleb had taken his usual place next to Seth who turned to him and said, "What was in your head Caleb?

"You already know Seth," Caleb answered dryly.

"You're not ready for this kid, Seth said.

"Yes I am! I'm as ready as you are."

"Oooh, tough guy!" Jared teased.

"Wait 'til he gets a load of those scary monsters," Paul continued.

"Yeah, I'll bet they'd love to feast on some wolf cub," Embry chimed in.

"That's enough guys, let him alone," Sam said.

No one was about to argue with Sam, so Caleb was given some relief.

I never failed to be surprised at the casual attitude the Quileute boys had towards the danger of vampires. I came to understand that they were designed to fight them, but it never the less made me worry for them. Killing the mountain lion as efficiently as I did, with no one to show me how, just going on my instinct, I knew first hand how deadly vampires could be with no training, let alone the experienced seasoned Volturi guard. I worried about all of the La Push pack, including Sam, but especially Jacob. I had just gotten my friend back; I didn't want to lose him so soon, and to such terrible end. I hoped my plan would spare us the loss of anyone. I knew it was probably too much to hope for, but I could do nothing else.

The plane taxied and then took off. Once we were in the air Edward announced, "We'll be in the air for a couple of hours, so please make your selves comfortable. There is food and drink in the galley if anyone is interested." Quill and Embry immediately popped up and headed to the galley to raid the refrigerator I assumed.

I watched Sam and Emily, sitting close together, and whispering to each other. Their faces were serious, but seemed to be peaceful and the same time. I was still disturbed by the promise Emily asked me to keep. I had a feeling of sadness when I looked at them. I decided to put my mind to the task at hand. I went over in my head how we would come against the Volturi. I decided to talk to Jasper about strategies.

"Jasper?" I asked, "I need a little help with strategies, if you don't mind."

"Can't start planning too early," he answered.

"We are pretty sure they will come to Denali, is that right?"

"If Jane did not believe Carmen, Eleazar and Kate to still be there, she would most likely not bother. But Irina has no way of knowing that the rest of them came south with you and Edward. Jane knows they are close friends of our family, and she will want to take out anyone who might stand in alliance with us."

"Once they reach Alaska, how long before they get to Denali?"

Jasper began to rub his chin. "Assuming Aro is right about their speed, I should think it will take them around two days to cross from the bearing sea to Denali. It's only a little over six hundred miles, just a couple days or nights march. They will have to come around the west end of the Alaskas, and if Edward is correct, and I think he is, and they hunt once in Alaska, then we may have some extra time, but not much. That gives us just a little over three days to be ready. So we need to look at our strengths and theirs and decide how to counter theirs."

Edward came and sat next to me; Emmett, Carlisle, Jacob, Sam, Seth and of course Caleb, all joined us sitting on couches and the floor.

"Who is their strongest fighter?" Sam asked.

"I would have to say Felix," Jasper answered, "but that isn't the biggest threat. Jane and Alec both have abilities that make them deadly, and Demetri's tracking abilities will make him aware of our presence. It takes away the element of surprise. We will have to target the leaders, if Bella is going to have a chance to cause havoc in the rear guard. And that brings us to two problems."

"What problems?" I asked.

"Well, first, because of Jane and Alec's abilities, there is really only one person who has any chance at them, and that's you Bella."

Edward jumped up and said, "No we can't put her in that situation. Demetri and Felix will almost certainly guard Jane and Alec. Bella maybe immune to Jane and Alec, but she won't be immune to them!"

I didn't say she would necessarily be _in _that situation Edward. We still don't know how far reaching Bella's talent is. Carlisle and I were talking about this while we were getting ready to leave. I'll let him explain."

Jasper turned to Carlisle and nodded.

"I have a theory, that Bella may be able to use her host's ability as the host would"

We all looked in amazement at Carlisle's statement.

"So that would mean…"

"…she could use Jane and Alec against each other!" Edward finished for him.

"Exactly," Jasper added. "So while Demetri and Felix are otherwise engaged, while Bella is keeping Jane and Alec busy, one or two of us can make our move against them. It will have to be fast, fast enough that Bella can release them and turn her attention to the guard. But there may be a downside for Bella."

Edward pulled me closer and tensed. I squeezed his hand and asked, "What downside Jasper?"

"Carlisle?" he deferred again.

"Yes, well you remember Bella, when Caius was attacked, you said you felt it burning?" he asked.

"Yes?" I shuddered at the memory.

"I think that may be the only negative about your power. You can feel your hosts emotions see their thoughts; you can also feel their physical pain. For us to take out Jane and Alec, you'll have to remain within whichever one you choose as the catalyst, until it's almost over. It will probably be very painful and upsetting to you. Do you think you will be able to handle that?"

Edward and Jacob stood at the same time and in stereo said "NO!"

I could see a hurt look on Leah's face, but I smiled at her and shook my head, and it seemed to heal the temporary breach of her security in their relationship. Then I spoke up.

"YES!" I countered, "I can handle that."

Edward and Jacob simply looked at me, so I continued.

"There is no other way, and you both know it," I said a bit accusatory. They sat down. Edward had a pained look on his face, Jacob just shook his head and put his chin on his fist.

"I know it won't be easy" I continued, "But unless we all do what is necessary, none of us will survive."

They all looked at me with such an intense stare without thinking I said, "what?"

Jasper retook control of the situation.

"There is a second problem we need to address. That recaptured everyone's attention. Assuming that while inhabiting another, Bella's body is in a trance-like state, at least physically, she will be vulnerable to attack. Bella, I know you can hear someone at your side somewhat according to Carlisle, so we will need someone to protect you and alert you should you need to move. If we place you in a fairly secure location, I think you'll be ok. Even so, it will be a very dangerous position for someone especially if any of the leaders figure out what you're doing. It's going to be critical though, and absolutely crucial if we are to survive."

I could tell from Edward's Expression, that he was about to volunteer, but I knew if anyone would have a chance at defeating Demetri, it would be him. Our eyes met, and I simply shook my head. He had already thought of what was going on in my head, and half smiled in pained resignation.

I suddenly thought of an option that would keep me reasonably safe, and someone else as well.

"Well," I said, "it would have to be someone extremely brave, who isn't afraid of a fight if it comes to that."

My inflection was perfect, with no hint of condescension, and I put just enough enthusiasm that I knew he would need. That was all it took for Caleb to speak up

"I can do it!" His voice rang out. "I'll protect Miss Bella; I won't let anyone hurt her."

I knew it wasn't fair, but I counted on his gratitude for letting him stay to work for my strategy.

I looked quickly at Sam who for the first time since I'd known him, smiled slightly at me. Then my eyes met Jacob's, he mouthed the words "thanks Bells."

None of them wanted to see their young brother killed. And I would do all in my power to see he was safe.

"It's decided then," I said. "Caleb will be my protector while I'm dealing with the Volturi."

Everyone agreed, and Caleb was smiling ear to ear at the task awarded him.

"So now" Carlisle said, "we need to do a little testing with Bella's abilities once we land. I would like you Bella, to pick a couple of random people, and just focus on them to see if you can connect with them."

"Sure, no problem" I said.

"And then," Jasper continued, "We'll need to coordinate with Aro on how to gain the guard's attention to see if he can indeed sway them to his authority." Jasper's voice gave away a hint of doubt.

"You sound like you don't believe they will be swayed," Edward said recognizing what I had.

"I don't know if they can be at this point. I know we have all believed that, but the increased number in the guard may mean something we haven't considered. In a coup, you do not typically leave those you think are loyal to the previous regime in your service. Nor do you leave them alive to be able to fight you another day. I believe those that did not completely embrace Jane's authority have been destroyed. We may be facing an entirely new set of guards all loyal to Jane and Alec. This is why Bella's ability to immobilize Jane and Alec so we can take them out, and her ability to turn the guards on each other is more important than ever."

I suddenly felt the heavy weight of responsibility on my shoulders, and a sick feeling came over me. An important part of my plan was relying on Aro's ability to rally the guard behind his authority. Losing that would, in my mind seriously hamper the possibility of our success. I suddenly realized, as Jasper had said, the importance of taking out Jane and Alec at the beginning. I knew I had to do it, no matter how frightened I might be, no matter how worried about the others I was, and no matter how much physical pain I might be in, I had to do it. If worse came to worse, and Caleb and I were found and destroyed, I WOULD DO IT! I felt a stinging pain in my chest at the thought of sacrificing Caleb, and breaking my word to Edward that I would come back. But there was nothing else I could do. If the forfeit of our lives meant that our loved one's would be safe, I would pay that price. I knew ultimately that Caleb would agree to give his life for the pack, so I took the liberty of making the choice for him ahead of time. I would hate myself for it, but I would do it.

My mind was becoming clouded and crowded with everything that I knew would come. I was beginning to feel a bit like I did when I freaked out in Carlisle's study. I decided I needed a moment to center myself. "Would you all excuse me for just a moment?"

Edward looked at me, and reading something in my face, nodded for me to retreat to the bedroom. After I closed the door behind me, I flopped myself onto the bed. Was I really ready for this? Was I really _able_ to do this? I knew the answer was yes; it had to be yes. There was no other option. I knew that our fates were now in my hands. I was terrified of failing, of seeing my dream come true. I saw the memory of pyres of purple smoke burning. Instead of falling to pieces, a low growl slipped through my teeth. "NO" I would not let that happen to my family and my friends. We would be successful we _HAD_ to be successful! Suddenly I began to hear the voice in my head again. It needed, it wanted, it was urging me. Remembering what Carlisle had said about me needing to eat, I knew I had to eat something as soon as possible. With the warm blooded Quileutes in the lounge, I had to do something quickly. Although it wasn't completely urgent, I had to take control. The stress of the coming battle was only making the voice scream more loudly. I pushed the voice to the back of my mind, telling it to wait. I was so concentrated on the voice, I didn't hear Edward come in. I should have, my senses were so much more acute now. My mind was so completely focused on the voice however, that when I felt his hands touch my shoulder the voice reacted in defense, and so did I. With another growl, I reached back over my shoulder, grabbed him and catapulted him against the headboard of the bed, immediately springing to my defensive crouch. I wrestled with the voice, pushing it into submission, and coming out of my stupor I looked in horror at my husband's surprised almost fearful look as he lay against the front of the bed. The ornate gold and red headboard was cracked and smashed. Edward didn't move, but remained still, trying I assumed, to allow me to calm down. Suddenly Emmett and Jasper burst through the door, and in a moment they had me in tight grips. I knew I could easily free myself and the voice wanting to erupt again, urged me to do it. I didn't though; I wanted them to see I was not a threat, relatively speaking. Normally I would have collapsed into tears, my usual reaction to something like this. I didn't. For some reason I felt strong, no it was more than that, I felt hardened. Something told me I had to be this way; that it was the only way I could face what I was about to do. There was no place for weakness or for tears right now. I knew there might more than enough cause for them later. They would have to wait until then.

Edward recovered himself and said, "It's alright, Emmett, Jasper, it's alright."

They released me and started to retreat from the bedroom. Being true to his form, Emmett said, "Jeez guys, it's ok if you like it rough, just lock the door next time huh?" Edward threw a deadly glare his way, and he quickly ducked out before he could throw him out.

Edward brushed the splinters and dust from the ruined headboard off his shirt.

I looked at him apologetically, but I didn't offer him one.

He smiled his cooked smile and taking up where Emmett left off he said, "So I guess you weren't in the mood? I just smiled and shook my head.

He just continued to smile and nodded his head, and added, "Honeymoon's over huh?"

When I didn't react to his joking, his face turned serious and he asked, "Bella what is it, what's going on?"

I looked at him and said, "Before we talk Edward, I need to eat something, and soon please."

He looked carefully at my eyes, and said, "I hadn't noticed your eyes getting dark. Wait here I'll be right back." After he went out the door, I felt a strange lack of emotion. It made me feel somewhat hollow and thin, but at the same time, my mind seemed clearer, and my strength seemed to increase. Despite screaming for food, the voice in my head seemed more under control as well. The lack of feeling was disturbing, and although I knew it was just what I needed to make it through, I also knew did not like it.

As I waited for Edward to bring me back whatever he could salvage from Quill and Embry's foray into the galley, Alice knocked and came in. I was happy to see her, though you would not have known it on my face.

"Hey Alice," I said a bit lackluster.

"I'd like to talk to you Bella if it's alright but after Edward brings your food."

"How did you know he was getting me food?"

"Well, he went to the galley, it obviously wasn't for himself."

"Oh right."

Just then Edward returned with a sandwich, and Alice began reciting The Cremation of Sam McGee.

He looked at her suspiciously and then at me.

"She wants to talk to me Edward, privately. So could you gives us a few minutes and try not to listen?

My emotional neutrality seemed disturbed him more than whatever Alice was attempting to block from him.

He gave me sort of a half smile, half grimace, nodded and left.

"Ok, Alice, now what's all this about?"

"Remember I told you, that I was waiting for you for a long time?" She began.

"Yes, I remember."

"I had been seeing glimpses of you Bella. Not clear pictures but glimpses. And I saw you with Edward, but not you exactly, someone. My visions as you know are not always clear. There have been so many variables with you. Everything you've been through since your connection with Edward and our family have altered that vision so many times, it's been a rollercoaster ride to keep up. But one thing I knew, is that you were coming, and you were meant to be at Edward's side, and you would alter our world profoundly."

I had to sit up and take notice at that statement.

"What do you mean alter your world profoundly?"

"Nothing is really clear at this point Bella, but let's look at some facts. First, you are more unique than any other vampire we've ever encountered, a full vampire but with human traits and abilities. Second, ever since our visit to the Volturi, they have been in revolt starting with Jane's disapproval of you. Third, you've brought lasting peace between us and the Quileutes; not just tolerance anymore, but real peace and friendship. Fourth, you are about to change the way our society is governed. But I don't think that's the end of it Bella. I think something else will be put in place. I do know this without question now, you will survive this conflict."

"I thought you said you couldn't see me Alice."

"It's true, I couldn't. But now I'm seeing glimpses of you beyond, but nothing discernable."

"What about everyone else Alice," I asked almost desperately, although I didn't feel desperate. _Strange._

"I see us all Bella, but there are holes in what I see. I don't see anyone dead, but I can't really see the end of this. I suspect it's due to the involvement of the werewolves, but I can't give you a definitive answer. And you know of course, I can't see the wolves themselves, so their fate is completely obscured to me."

Alice sighed, re-centered herself, and said, "The point Bella is that things are about to change, and _you_ will be at the forefront of that change. You're the key Bella, you…are…the…key. That's all I know, but I wanted you to be prepared."

"But you don't know exactly what I should prepare for?"

"No, I'm sorry Bella, I can't tell you anymore than I have."

Alice got up to leave and said, "I really believe it's going to be ok Bella. I always have, ever since I met you." "Thanks Alice, I really hope you're right."

Alice left, and I worked on my sandwich. It tasted really good. I never ceased to marvel how good a cook Edward was for someone who not only did not eat food but didn't enjoy the taste either.

Then Edward came back in.

"All done with your talk?" He asked.

I nodded and said "I'm sorry Edward, about before. I know I didn't hurt you, but I could have, and I'm sorry."

"It's alright Bella, your still adjusting to being one of us. And to have all this to deal with everything we're going through, I still don't know how you have done so well. But you do seem, I don't know, distant, like you're somewhere else."

"I feel distant, no not distant, but separate. That doesn't make sense I know." I was finding it hard to explain myself to Edward, but I knew I had try. I didn't want him worrying about me while he was fighting for his life, for all our lives.

"You know," I continued, "I've been an emotional basket case since I woke up from my change."

"I think I may have noticed yes."

"I think I finally have a handle on it, although I don't know exactly how I'm doing it. I AM doing it though, and I can't get distracted now, or I might lose it again. I have to succeed in what I'm about to attempt; if I fail, we all die. The only thing holding me together now Edward is my love for you, and everyone else, and my resolve to hold on to you all no matter what. I have to focus on what's ahead. I know I'm afraid, I can see my fear, but I can't feel it. I know it doesn't make any sense," I repeated myself, "but it's like I've shut off the emotion switch or something. It's weird, but I think it's going to help me."

"If it sees us all through this alive," he said, "if it has you back in my arms at the end, then do whatever you need to Bella. Just promise me one thing?"

I waited.

"Promise me you'll come back to me safely. I realize that you want to save everyone else, so do I. But you have to save what is most precious to me…you. Promise…no, swear to me you will."

His eyes were beautiful and pleading, and as I focused on his perfect face, I knew I could not refuse even if I'd wanted to. I put my arms around him and said, "I will come back to you," _if it is at all possible, I said to myself,_ "I will come back to you Edward." He pulled me tighter to him and kissed me. I did not return his passion, and he knew why, but it was an oddity in our relationship. Kissing Edward had always been a source of intensity and passion for me. Now I kept my passion focused on the coming maelstrom; I knew I had no other choice. Before my change it was always Edward who had to resist my passion, now I was the one doing the resisting or rather not responding. It was a strange role reversal for us. As he felt my lack of response, he released me and said, "So this is what that feels like."

My passion was in check, but my affection and love for my husband was in full force. "I'm sorry Edward, but my reasons are as vital as yours were before. I understand now more than ever, why you did it, and I love you all the more for it. I promise you love, when this is all over, I'll show you just how much I love you!"

"I already know Bella; you've already shown me, now, in this moment. We'll have an eternity to show each other in more tangible ways."

"First," I said, "let's just survive the next three days ok?

"Ok love," he said.

I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to sleep. "Edward, I think I will try to sleep, could you wake me when we get there?"

"Of course I will," he said.

"Also Carlisle said he wanted to observe the next time I slept, so if our current crisis isn't dampening his scientific spirit, you might want to tell him to come and watch."

"I'll let him know." He kissed me gently once more, ran his fingers along my jaw, and walked out the door.

I lay down on the bed, and began to go over in my mind how I would go after Jane and Alec. I decided it was most important to immobilize Jane. I decided I would take Alec first and use his ability against Jane. Then I would hold Alec for whoever got to him first.

While I was strategizing, Carlisle came in with Jasper in tow. "I hope you don't mind Jasper accompanying me Bella, but Edward shared a bit about your…lack of emotion? Jasper would like to see what he can make of it."

I nodded, and they sat down. I made myself comfortable, lying down, after brushing the pieces of the crushed headboard away. I kept my eyes on Jasper, waiting for his assessment. Then he lifted his eyes up and to the left, as though he were trying to figure something out.

"It's the strangest thing," he finally said, "I don't sense any emotion from her at all, nothing! How are you doing that Bella?"

"Yes, it would be helpful if you could explain," Carlisle added.

"Well, I don't know" I said. "I tried to explain it to Edward. When I came in here, I was thinking about a dream I had. To sum it up, it's what would happen if we didn't win. I was so afraid of failing everyone, I didn't know what I was going to do."

Both Jasper and Carlisle nodded.

"When the realization of that possibility entered my mind, I was thinking NO, I wouldn't let it happen, and then suddenly I just wasn't afraid. I felt like I was just centered and calm. I didn't feel afraid, or anything. I don't know how I'm doing it Carlisle, I just am.

Carlisle and Jasper just looked at me, not knowing what to make of it all.

"Well, we will all do our parts Bella, and trust to your plan. I have real hope that we will be successful.

"I do too Carlisle. Now if you don't mind, I want to sleep before we get to Anchorage." I waited for the questions.

"Do you feel tired Bella?" he asked

"No, I don't feel physically tired. I just want to sleep."

"Why do you think you want to sleep Bella? Do you feel some sort of need other than fatigue?"

I thought carefully about his question, trying to come up with an answer as to why I wanted sleep. I wanted the answer as much for myself, as for Carlisle. I thought about how sleeping still seemed natural to me. The feeling of rest though I didn't seem to need it, the experience of dreams…dreams. "Dreams…" I said, thinking aloud.

"Dreams?" Carlisle repeated.

"IT'S DREAMS!" I said loudly sitting up.

"What is it Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Almost from the beginning of Edward's and my relationship" I've been having dreams. And I wouldn't have thought to much about it, but my dreams have always had bits of real things in them; some small parts of them that came true. Lately they have been especially accurate. I never put it together, but now I can see it. I dreamed of the meadow Edward took me to where I told him about my plan. I dreamed of Irina's attack. She took the form of Victoria, and Jacob was in the form of a wolf, and I remember Edward biting my neck. And when I was dreaming at home, I was dreaming of being somewhere cold and damp. I think it had to do with Aro. I even dreamed of the burning of my change. I think I want to sleep, because I dream, and it gives me information I need. I didn't know I needed it, but now it is so clear! And I think I just figured something else out; Carlisle, have you ever heard of one vampire taking on the abilities of other vampires?"

Carlisle looked confused. "What do you mean Bella?"

"I mean, can one vampire, absorb another vampire's ability and make it part of their own?"

"I've never heard of such a thing. But why do you ask Bella?"

"Well, I'm able to invade the minds of others, hear their thoughts and take over their physical bodies. I have dreams that more and more seem to predict future events, and I have been able to stop my emotions. What does that make you think of?"

He continued to look confused.

I rephrased my question. "WHO does that make you think of?"

I looked at Jasper, who started to smile.

"Think about it…reading the thoughts of my hosts…seeing future events in my dreams…manipulating my own emotions?"

Recognition began to spread over Carlisle's face as he spoke, "Edward…Alice…and…Jasper! Bella, I can't believe it. If you're right, this is beyond anything I've ever seen among our kind!"

"What does it mean Carlisle?" Jasper asked still smiling.

"I don't know Jasper, but it is absolutely unprecedented!"

I suddenly felt the pull to sleep acutely. I was not sleepy or tired, but the draw to close my eyes was like a heavy weight on my whole body and I knew I needed to yield to it.

"Carlisle, Jasper" I said, "I have to sleep now. I'll explain later, but I have to sleep."

Carlisle and Jasper both nodded. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes.


	22. War Games

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

22. War Games

I found myself on First Beach at La Push, and the familiar figure of Saint James Island in the background. I was with Jacob, Leah and the rest of the pack. At the shore, I saw Sam and Emily looking warmly back at the rest of us. They were standing next to two canoes, intricately carved. One was larger than the other was and they were tied together. Jacob had an inconsolable look of grief on his face, as did the rest of the pack. He stepped forward and took Sam's hand. Sam placed his other hand on Jacob's head; he touched Jacob's forehead with his own, and it seemed as if a silent communication passed between them. I then noticed young Caleb at Jacob's side. His usually smiling face was streaming with tears as he looked up at Sam. Sam looked at Caleb, placed his hand on Caleb's head, a nodded at him in approval. Caleb stood like a soldier trying to be brave, but shook as he silently cried. Finally, Sam stepped away from Jacob and Caleb, and rejoined Emily; then he looked at me. Sam Uley had been an enigma to me once, a strange evil influence over my friend I thought. But I had since come to know him for who he truly was. He was a man who loved his people, his brother wolves, and his Emily. He loved them all so much, he put everything else second in his life He was a true leader, who had taught them the devotion to their people, the truth about their wolf heritage, and the importance of loyalty, and the bond of brotherhood. I used to feel intimidated by his eyes, but now I felt warmth from them, and love. "Thank you" he said, "for looking at the storm without shaking." The words rang so familiar they made me gasp. Before I could say anything Emily walked over to me, hugged me, and then handed me an ornately woven bark basket. It was beautiful in its simplicity and its symmetry, and I was in awe of the skill that had made it. She whispered in my ear, "for keeping your promise." I smiled at Emily and nodded, and she returned to Sam's side. They then got into the larger of the two canoes and pushed off the shore. As they paddled towards Saint James, they smiled and waved. I heard sobs and moans from the Quileutes, and felt a profound sense of loss. I felt tears streaming down my face, and I was about to ask Jacob why they were leaving, but when I turned around he and everyone else were gone. I turned back toward the retreating canoe, but it too had disappeared. I was alone on the beach. I felt too alone, as though I was the only person on earth. I looked out at St James hoping for a glimpse of Sam and Emily. I saw nothing. I looked back at the woods in the direction of the village, still nothing. I felt an emptiness rising in my chest. I looked north along the shore, but was greeted only by the crashing surf and the call of the gulls. When I looked south I saw a solitary figure. His bronze hair and amber eyes were like magnets pulling me towards him, and I ran to meet him…

…I opened my eyes. I was looking up at the ceiling of Edward's room in Denali. I knew I should be in our bedroom on the plane. I thought perhaps I was dreaming, but realized almost immediately I wasn't. I looked over at the window to see a familiar sight; Edward standing looking out over the twilight lit tundra. "Edward?" I said.

He turned around and was at my side in an instant, holding me in his arms.

"Bella!" he said relieved. "I thought you'd never wake up."

"What? Why, how long have I been asleep?

"For about six hours now."

"SIX HOURS! Edward, why didn't you wake me up?"

"We tried Bella, but you wouldn't wake up. You slept through the rest of the flight, and the two hours it took us to drive here. We shook you, we yelled at you, but nothing worked. I even tried kissing you. I have to admit," he said pretending to be hurt, "I was a little put out that not even my kiss could get your attention. Of course, given your previous emotional state or lack there of I should say, I wasn't surprised. By the way, how is your emotional state?"

"I could still feel the emptiness of no emotion. "I'm pretty much still a blank slate right now" I said, then I moaned, "Six hours, wow. Wait!" I said suddenly animated, "what about the Volturi, is there isn't any sign of them right?"

"Not yet but we are taking turns keeping watch just in case. Alice is trying to see their arrival right now."

"Where is everyone else?"

"Kate is in the kitchen, our family except for Jasper and Alice are out hunting with Carmen and Eleazar. The pack will go after they return if they need to; we thought it would be safer for everyone if we don't hunt together. Less chance for accidents you know."

"The pack is going to hunt?" I asked.

"Only if they have to; of course they would prefer food, but Kate and the other's came south with us. They hadn't expected to be entertaining so many that require human food. Kate has a shipment of food coming in from Anchorage. It should be here any time now, that's why Kate isn't hunting. She's waiting for the shipment. We want it to be quick, we don't want to any unnecessary humans to be in the area."

"Why aren't you hunting Edward?" I asked.

"I wanted to wait until you woke up love. I didn't like the idea of leaving you, and now that I look at you, I'm glad I waited. I think you should hunt yourself Bella."

"What, why, I'm not hungry."

"Well, your eyes are dark again love. How is your throat?"

I suddenly realized my throat _was_ a bit irritated, and stung just slightly.

"That's strange," I said. "I ate on the plane, why would I be thirsty already?"

"Well, Carlisle said your unique Bella. Your requirements seem to be different from ours. None of us was particularly thirsty either, but we want to be ready and strong when the Volturi come. So we opted to hunt."

"Wait! What about Aro, is he here?"

"Yes," Edward said with trepidation. "He decided to try to hunt vegetarian, per _your_ request according to him."

"Really? That's amazing isn't it?"

Edward shot amber fire into my eyes and said, "No love, _you_ are amazing. You have convinced Aro to try what Carlisle never could. I don't know if he'd ever truly convert, but just his willingness to try is a tribute to you Bella. I've always seen how special you are, but I hadn't even scratched the surface." Then Edward smiled and kissed me passionately, moving his hands down my back. I didn't respond, but I let him have his way.

With no response from me, his passion ebbed away and he said, "This is intolerable Bella, you know that don't you? He looked at me for a long moment. "You _do_ know that…don't you. He said with realization.

"Yes" I said sympathetically.

I saw the frustration in his eyes; being so familiar with it from our intimate moments when I was still human, there was no mistaking it.

"I swear Edward, when this is all over, I'll make it up to you and more!"

"Promise?" He said seductively.

"Promise." My words were a bit dry, but he believed me, and pulled me to my feet.

"Let's get ourselves fed and ready shall we?"

"Yes we should do that" I said, feeling the burning in my throat.

As we passed through the expansive great room, I suddenly froze. A heavy scent was floating and churning in the air. It was rich and delicious, and it filled my head with thoughts of shellfish, garlic butter, and seaweed. The sting in my throat became a raging fire; the voice inside woke up, and urged me to find where the aroma was coming from. It was getting louder, and with a low growl I said to Edward, "Get me out of here NOW!"

Edward having already caught the scent, swept me up into his arms without question and ran. The voice was screaming at me to go back, and for a split second I almost pulled away from Edward and obeyed, but instead, I held onto to Edward even tighter, burying my face against his chest. I thought of Charlie, Renée, Sue and Billy. I pictured humans that I loved, and forced the voice to be quiet. When we were I assumed, several miles away Edward stopped, and let me down. I sat down, wrapped my arms around my legs and buried my face. I wanted to cry, but couldn't or wouldn't; I wasn't sure.

"I'm so sorry Edward I moaned. It smelled so good I had to get away from it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm…"

"Bella stop apologizing," he interrupted. "You knew enough to get away, that was still more control than any newborn I've ever seen or heard of. Bella, you already have the tools to avoid humans when you're thirsty. It will get easier I swear. We just need to make sure you eat and hunt as often as you need, to keep you from losing control."

He sat next to me and put his arm around me and said, "Look at me Bella."

I looked up into his perfect face, and immediate felt calmer.

"Don't lose your focus by beating yourself up for your thirst. It will always be a part of our lives. It's not you being abnormal, it's just you being who you are now, alright?"

"Yes, alright," I answered. I knew he was right, and I would not argue the point. I just leaned into his shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing in the clean mountain air of Denali.

Abruptly, almost simultaneously, we both tensed with a new aroma in the air. It was musky, heavy and sweet.

"Do you smell that?" He asked smiling, already knowing my answer.

"Yesssss," the voice and I answered together. "What is it?" I asked, rasping with the fire in my throat.

"Grizzly!"

We both were on our feet in an instant.

"Can you tell me which way to go?" He asked like a schoolteacher.

I took a deep long breath, and immediately said "east!"

"Then let's go!"

He started running, and I followed. We lithely ran over the tundra still alive with wildflowers; leaping over rocks and small shrubs until we came to a gently sloping rise. We slowed and crept over the crest of the rise. Below we saw them, two Grizzly Bears. They were sparing, obviously males, fighting over territory perhaps. They were huge, and standing on two feet facing each other. They must have been eight feet in height in that position. They looked monstrous.

"Well that couldn't be more perfect," Edward said with a grin.

"Are you ready?" He asked "It's lady's choice."

I just nodded, my mind already having plotted my approach and attack in my head. "The big one is mine!" I said with a low growl.

"After you love," he said without a hint of reaction to my growl.

I took off like a bullet from a gun, and sped toward my target. Remembering my encounter with the mountain lion, I mimicked my first attack, and before the largest of the two bears knew what had hit it, I had broken its neck and had ripped the side of its throat open with my teeth, and was taking in the warm pulsating blood as fast as I could. I never looked to see what occurred between Edward and the other bear. That was his business, and I was busy about my own.

When I could no longer get one more drop of blood from the bear, I moved away, and as I had with the lion, I closed my eyes and let the warmth of the blood move through my body from the top of my head through to my fingertips and toes. I was re-centered and recharged.

Remembering the last time he came up behind me, Edward said very clearly, "Bella love? Are you through sweetheart?"

"Yes, I am."

"You were spectacular to watch. You're beautiful even when you hunt."

"I'm sorry I didn't watch you Edward."

"It's alright. Based on what you did to the poor bear, you were really thirsty."

"I was," I agreed.

I then looked back at the bear. I returned to the kill, and sat down. I had no tears this time, but I was sorry for the animal. "I'm sorry bear," I said. "But thank you."

I don't know why I said it, but it seemed wrong not to acknowledge the animal. I knew it couldn't hear me. I knew it wouldn't understand if it could hear me. It was more for myself, to keep myself, the human side of myself real and intact. I stroked the thick fur of the bear for a few moments, and then got up and returned to Edward.

Edward and I ran back to the lodge; stopping a few hundred yards away, Edward went on ahead to make sure it was clear of any humans. As I waited for him to return, I suddenly felt uneasy. Who was the human whose blood called to me so strongly? I closed my eyes as I immediately thought of Emily. How would I ever be safe around her again if it was? As I chastised myself Edward returned.

"What is it Bella?"

"Who was that in the lodge before Edward?"

"I've spoken to Kate Bella, it was the delivery man who brought the food up from Anchorage."

I was relieved that the blood I smelled wasn't Emily's.

"Where is the pack and Emily?"

"In the garage, they've been strategizing and playing war games of a sort with Jasper. He's been explaining the difference between fighting newborns and the guard. He's also been thinking of the best place for you to do your…reconnaissance work."

Edward stopped for a moment as though he was listening to something.

"Excellent," he said. "The rest are back, and have already been working with Jasper and the pack. We should too.

When we entered the huge garage, my memory of Tanya's attack came screaming back. It didn't effect me as it would have before, but rather it gave me focus, focus to succeed at what I feared was impossible.

Jasper had been showing the Quileutes the different fighting technique they would need to effectively defeat the Volturi guard…in theory. He was working with Jacob and Leah when Edward and I came in.

I looked at the onlookers, and noticed the sour look on Caleb's face. I wondered what that was about.

"Hey Bella," Jacob and Leah said at the same time. I smiled in encouragement.

"Hi, Leah, hi Jake."

"We've just been working on combat strategies Bella," Jasper said.

"Well I'm ready," I answered.

Everyone looked at me like my face was green instead of my eyes.

"What?" I said without emotion.

"Bella," Jasper began, "we've been discussing this, and feel that neither you nor Caleb need to worry about training, since you won't be in the line of fire so to speak."

I finally understood Caleb's attitude.

"No," I said flatly, "that won't do.

Everyone's attention immediately intensified, looking shocked as I continued. "If absolutely everything goes according to plan, then you might be right. Jasper; do you think everything will go according to plan?"

I looked stared at Jasper without moving, waiting for his answer.

Jasper stared back at me, I assumed trying to detect my emotion, but finding none, he said, "No Bella, I can't say with surety that everything will go according to plan."

"Then Caleb and I should be prepared for all possibilities shouldn't we?"

Jasper smiled in defeat, and looking around at everyone and said, "Bella, Caleb, let's get started."

Caleb looking tentatively at Sam, who nodded, then jumped up to join the lesson. I started to move forward towards Jasper, when Edward grabbed my arm. I turned and faced him, and waited.

He caressed my cheek with his hand, and closed his eyes. After a moment he whispered to me, "Pay close attention Bella, you'll need everything Jasper is about to teach you to survive, if you have to fight."

"I will," I whispered back.

Caleb and I worked with Jasper for a few minutes to learn the technique we needed to defeat the guard. _Defeat_ the guard…could we really defeat them, was it possible?

"They have great peripheral skills," Jasper instructed, "deflecting when you come at them from the side. The best way to attack them is from behind and above, which they don't expect, as their attitude is always one of offense. But they will adapt quickly if we attack them in too thick a concentration. We have to attack them a few at a time, and from the rear. Bella, you of course will begin that assault, by turning the first few on each other. As Bella engages each subsequent pair, we will attack one or two alternate guards at a time. And it is imperative, that we do not move until the first rear guards are engaged. That will be our sign that Bella has helped to eliminate Jane and Alec. We will have to create diversions at the front of the guard to keep them from realizing what is occurring from the rear."

Then our training began. Caleb took several turns coming at Jasper; it was amazing that he could control himself in the attack of a vampire, even though it was only practice. Even Jasper was impressed, and in fact it was plain to see that in the short time he worked with Caleb, he formed a real attachment with him. Coming at Jasper from behind, Caleb tapped him behind, indicating an attack. "Very good, Caleb," Jasper praised him. "But resist coming at me from the side. They will have you in a side attack. It's what they expect."

Caleb nodded in excited anticipation. Having "Mr. Jasper" as Caleb referred to him praising his fighting skills, put a smile on his face that refused to go away. Despite our desperate situation, I couldn't help being happy for him. After Caleb and I were sure about the best way to defend ourselves should the need arise, Jasper began to talk about where would be the best place to make our stand against Jane and her guard.

"So we aren't going to face them here?" I asked.

"No," Jasper said. "We don't want them to get this far east from the strait. I'm thinking Wonder Lake."

"Why Wonder Lake Jasper?" Edward asked.

"The will have to skirt the northern side of the Alaskan range. There are only a couple of passes that they can use and they need to pass by Wonder lake. It will give us the best venue to see them coming, and it will afford us several places where Bella can take refuge while she's…ah…doing what she does."

"What sort of places I asked?"

"A couple of abandoned mines I know of might work really well. The Kantishna area up there is an old mining town. We should move out by morning the latest, to give us time to set up around the lake, and find your spot Bella."

Sam stood up and said, "Quileutes, we need to talk. Please excuse us for the evening," he directed towards the rest of us. "We will rejoin you in the morning."

With that the pack started to file out. "I see you in the morning Miss…I mean Bella," Caleb said with a grin.

He had the face and the voice of a cherub, and I felt it was wrong to put him in danger. Yet somehow I felt upon the shoulders of this young boy might hang the balance of our futures.

"Right," I answered, "In the morning."

He smiled even bigger if it were possible, and ran to catch up with the rest of the pack.

The rest of us made our way back to the Lodge. In the great room, as we all sat by the massive fireplace, Aro finally approached Edward and I.

"So Bella," he began, "At last we meet face to face, instead of mind to mind."

"Yes, I'm sorry for the intrusion Aro. The first time was not intentional, and the second of course you know was a matter of necessity."

"Yes of course. It is an amazing ability; it should prove quite useful."

"I hope it will prove useful in the in the next couple of days," I answered.

"Yes, we have a great battle before us," he agreed. "I am amazed at your persuasiveness in gathering us all together, especially the wolves."

"I'm afraid it was the threat of annihilation as much as me, that persuaded everyone. The wolves" I added, "are family Aro," I said.

"Family," he let the word flow from his white lips. "It is a difficult concept."

"Yet you can see the how it has bettered our lives, can't you?" I asked.

"Yes you all seem quite contented."

"We are," Edward said. "We have found a life worth living in the company of our family Aro. We are tied to each other in ways you cannot imagine."

"Oh, I think I can," he said. "Bella has given me a glimpse of your life in her mind and I am intrigued. Perhaps if we survive, I can learn more."

"I truly hope so" Edward answered him.

"I did hunt for grizzly today. I cannot say that I preferred it to human blood, but it was very satisfying I must admit. Carlisle and I also spoke about our co-governorship Bella."

I smiled and said "thank you for you for agreeing to try. I truly believe we will all be better off."

"I think it will take some getting used to, but I do see some wisdom in what you have envisioned."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Forgive me if I am rude Bella, but you seem somewhat detached. Would you mind if I take your hand."

Edward seemed a bit uncomfortable, but I imagined it was out of habit, of having Aro in such close proximity to me.

"No, I don't mind Aro." I said

He shot out his pasty white hand, and took mine. He looked off into space, and sat perfectly still.

"Most interesting" he said. "You lack feeling right now?"

"Not exactly lack," I said, "it's more like more like I'm suppressing them."

"Yes that is it exactly. But why do you suppress your feelings Bella?"

"To accomplish what I must when our enemies come."

"I see," he said.

"Aro," Edward interrupted us, "Jasper is worried what will happen if the guard are new, and unfamiliar with your authority. Do you think he is right, that Jane has replaced them."

"Of course I do not know for certain, but he may be correct. Dearest Jane is proficient at what she does; she is wise and lethal."

"That would negate your influence over them, would it not?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I would probably have little influence over any new guard. I will of course assist you in any way I can in seeing Jane reckoned with."

He looked at me with a strange light in his eye, assuming I would be successful.

"I really don't want to see her destroyed Aro," I said, "but she has left us no other choice."

"Yes, yes, of course," he cooed.

I could see a little bit too much of the old Aro, and I decided I had had enough.

"Edward, Aro, would you please excuse me, but I feel I should sleep again to be prepared for tomorrow, and I would like to say goodnight to Carlisle and Esme."

"Oh yes, Carlisle said you still sleep Bella. That is most fascinating!" He said almost laughing.

"I'm happy I can still amuse you," I said rather flatly. "Good evening Aro, I will look forward to seeing you in the morning."

Edward stood when I did, and excused himself as well, "I think I will join my wife Aro. Until tomorrow?

"Yes, yes, until tomorrow, of course."

Edward and I joined Carlisle and Esme.

"And how are you this evening Bella?" Esme asked.

"I'm fine Esme, but I think I will take the opportunity to sleep, to prepare for tomorrow."

"Do whatever you need to be ready dear," she said.

I turned to Carlisle and asked, "Did you learn anything while I was sleeping?"

"Well," Carlisle began, "As Edward informed you at home, you don't breathe. However, when you speak you take in breath to do so."

"Speak?" I said. "What did I say?"

"No very much, but you did say Sam and Emily."

"Do you remember Bella, what you dreamed about?"

I thought very carefully. "I was on the beach at La Push, and Emily and Sam were leaving to go somewhere. Jacob and the rest of the Quileutes were there to say goodbye. Then they all left, and I was alone. Then I saw Edward, coming towards me on the beach. I started walking towards him, and then I woke up. Not exactly helpful in a battle sense, is it?" I owned.

Carlisle smiled, and said, "We don't know that it won't be helpful Bella. I have observed that although you for the most part don't breathe, you do experience rapid eye movement indicating dreams. We of course already knew this. But the amount of eye movement you experience at least from my observation, is extremely fast. I would assume you are absorbing large amounts of information while dreaming. It may be more useful than you think."

Even in the midst of possible destruction, Carlisle was still optimistic. He gave me comfort, even though I didn't _feel_ as though I needed it. I hugged him and Esme. I said goodnight, and Edward and I went to our room.

I looked around the room, and everything was the same as we left it when we went home. I looked out the window, the landscape visible in the Alaska twilight. I noticed the Quileute standing around and talking. I noticed two couples among them

I was pleased to find my clothes from the honeymoon still in the closet. I could understand why they had not been a priority. I found my peignoir from our wedding night. I knew that would not be the best choice, when Edward would almost certainly take it as a gesture on my part. Alice had packed a series of alluring nightgowns for the honeymoon, but none would suit my purposes now. Luckily, I had slipped in my silk pajamas, which although not as benign as a t-shirt and sweats, were certainly less suggestive than Alice's selections. I changed into the pajamas, and crawled into the bed. Edward, despite my reigned in emotions, was at my side in an instant. He took me in his arms and held me, and said, "Bella, I know you're trying not to tempt me, but you're not very good at it you know. You'd be irresistible in a potato sack love. I know you're not in…the…any mood, I just want to hold you if that's alright."

"It's more than alright Edward. I may not be the most responsive right now, but in your arms is where I want to be." And I meant it. I understood Edwards actions in the meadow, his love making taking on such a desperate, almost melancholy flavor. I wished I could muster the emotion to repeat out few fleeting moments in the meadow. Even though I had hope of success, I also had trepidation of failure, or at least of success but with losses. I knew I was protecting my resolve and my ability to do what was necessary. But I wanted so much to comfort Edward, and be with him in tangible way. But none of my thoughts on the subject, would break the barrier I had created around my heart and mind. I was all business, and I knew I would be until it was all over. Whether in victory or defeat, only going through the coming battle would release me from my sea of emotional lethargy. So I contented myself in his arms, and left it at that. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.


	23. Lake Wonder

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

23. Lake Wonder

"Take my hand Bella," Aro said.

"What?" I asked, "what is happening?"

"I want to give you a gift."

"A gift? What do you mean?"

"Please Bella, there is not much time."

"Aro, not much time…what does that mean?"

"Take my hand Bella, and all will become clear."

Aro held out his hand, I surrendered mine to it. I felt like I was hit with a wave in the ocean, crashing over me. A shock went through me, and I suddenly saw…

"Edward?" I said almost instinctively upon opening my eyes.

"Yes, love, I'm here" he answered. He tightened his already encircled arm around me.

"How long was I sleeping?"

"About three hours.

"What time is it?"

"About 4:00 in the morning."

I got up and looked out at the landscape. Though it was still the dim light of the Alaskan summer night sky, I could see stars shining overhead. "It's so beautiful here," I said.

"I think so," Edward agreed.

"Perhaps," he added, "We can go back to the cabin when all this is over. I'm sure the door is fixed by now." There was just a bit of tension in his voice, an effort to convince himself that we would be here when it was all over. He knew I sensed it, but I let him have his happy thought.

"I would really love that Edward."

"Then it's settled," he said. "After the battle, we pick up our honeymoon where we left off."

He smiled and then added, "You were dreaming before. I was watching your eyes, and Carlisle was right. You do move them very quickly when you sleep. And you said Aro's name."

"Yes, I was dreaming about him," I admitted.

"What was it this time?" Edward asked.

"I'm not sure, something about giving me a present."

"Hmmm…" Edward mused. "Strange."

"I wish I understood these dreams a little better. I'm trying to figure out how they will help, but I can't really see how, especially the last two."

"It may be Bella, that they aren't necessarily going to help the battle, but after the battle. And that's an encouraging thought."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, if you need help after the battle, then that means there _will be_ an after the battle, for you at least."

"Don't do that!" I said with more emotion than I was feeling.

"What?" he said shocked. "Don't do what?"

I stood up and began pacing. "Don't talk about me in any situation that doesn't include you!"

He got up and was about to speak again, but I interrupted, "I swore to you that I would come back to you; don't you dare think that you do not owe me the same promise! We both have that promise to keep Edward, at least we both have to try to keep it. I know we may not make it, I know one or both of us may still die Edward, but we BOTH have to try to live for each other."

He looked as though he would break down and cry if such a thing were possible. "Don't say that Bella, don't talk about you dying, not you!"

I put my arms around him. "We have to be honest with each other, now more than ever. If this is our last day together…"

"Bella, please don't" he pleaded.

"If," I continued, "this _is_ our last day together, I don't want it to be spent trying to pretend with each other. I want you to tell me whatever is on your mind, and I want to be able to tell you everything that's on mine."

He pulled me off my feet and held me against his chest. He looked deeply into my eyes, his own filled with sadness and said, "If you want complete honesty Bella, so be it. If you don't survive, neither will I! I will have nothing to live for without you!"

"NO! You have it wrong Edward! I spoke abruptly. "We've been through this before, but both of us have been wrong on that point. If our love has meant anything; if anything good or virtuous or positive has come from our life together, then we can never think that way again."

As I was speaking, I suddenly realized that a single tear was slowly making its way down my face. It was the only sign that my emotions were ready and waiting to be released. I wondered if anymore would escape, but there were no more.

"We had it wrong Edward, because if only one of us survives, then BOTH of us do. If I don't make it, YOU HAVE TO LIVE! You have to tell Charlie how much I loved him, and how happy I am for him and Sue. You have to be there for him, and help him through losing me! If you don't survive", I could see the inner pain that wanted to erupt at that thought, but still felt nothing. "If you don't survive," I repeated, "Then I have to go on to keep who you are alive in my heart, and in the hearts of Carlisle, Esme, and the rest of the family. We are truly part of each other Edward. One of us has to live if the other doesn't so that who we are, the love we share lives too! I promise to live for you Edward; promise that you'll live for me!"

He wiped the tear from my cheek, looking deeply and deliberately into my eyes. He nodded his head and just held me. There wasn't anything else to say, we both knew it. One or both of us would both die, or survive. I had my mind set on seeing it was the latter. I pulled myself to his lips, and I kissed Edward with as much passion as I could feign. He responded, and for one brief moment, allowing his passions to re-ignite. We fell back on the bed, and would probably have never gotten up, but the emotional brakes held fast, and Edward could sense it.

He stopped his tender assault, and buried his head in my hair. "Alright, Bella, alright," he said in resignation.

We held each other for a few more minutes, until we both knew it was time to face what we most feared.

"Let's go," he said.

We left our room, and headed to the great room, finding everyone already or still there as the case was. Carlisle greeted us asking, "So Bella, how did you sleep?"

"I slept well Carlisle, thanks."

"We are preparing to leave for Lake Wonder soon," he said, "we're just waiting for the Quileutes who are in the kitchen having some breakfast. Also Kate thought it would be a good idea to pack up some food to take with them."

"I think I'll join them," I said, feeling my stomach growling at the mention of food. Suddenly remembering my fear that the blood I smelled the day before was Emily's I wondered if going by myself was such a good idea. "Edward," I said quietly, "would you mind coming with me, just in case I smell something irresistible?"

Edward looked at me, studying my face, and said, "I'd be more than happy to come with you Bella, but I don't think it's going to be a problem. Your eyes are a brilliant green, not dark at all."

"I'm glad to hear it, but I would still feel better with you there to keep me in check."

"Well, if you were to get out of control, I'd need help to do that, so…"

Edward walked over to Jasper and Alice, asking them to join us.

Alice walked over rather somber, but gave me her customary hug and peck on the cheek.

"Well, this is the day Bella," she said without enthusiasm."

"Not looking good, huh?" I said, not wanting an answer.

"It's not looking either way," she said with frustration, "and that bothers me."

"But you did say you don't see any of us dead, right?"

"Yes Bella, so far. But I can't guarantee anything for Jacob and the rest of the Quileutes."

"What about Emily Alice?"

"I can't see her either Bella. I think it's the same as when I couldn't see you hanging out with Jacob, her being with Sam prevents me from seeing her.

I could tell how much it bothered Alice that she couldn't give some small degree of assurance for the Quileutes. Despite the tension that had existed between the Cullens and the pack, the new treaty essentially made us family. The fact that we couldn't see what would happen to this part of the family was very discomforting. Something in my mind was needling me, though I couldn't tell what. I was in full control of my emotions, so I knew it wasn't the stress of the day. Shaking off what I was unable to explain, I tried to encourage Alice as we walked to the kitchen.

"Alice, it's going to be ok."

"Do you really believe that Bella?"

"Yes Alice, I do, I have to."

"Then until I see something different, I'll believe that too."

As we entered the kitchen, the Quileutes were enjoying Emily's special eggs, along with bacon, sausage and biscuits. It smelled delicious. I looked at Alice and said, "Sorry, but I have to get my hands on some eggs!"

Alice laughed and said, "I'll never get used to seeing a vampire eat food."

"Hey Bells," Jacob greeted me.

"Hi Jake," I said.

The rest of the boys said a muffled hello as they shoveled down the food. It was almost comical to watch.

Caleb came up to me and said, "Morning M...ah…Bella."

"Good morning Caleb. Are you ready for today?"

"I sure am!" he chimed enthusiastically.

"Me too, and thanks Caleb for protecting me. It means more than you know."

The cherub smile returned, and he blushed. I loved seeing it, but didn't want to give the other guys material to tease him with, so I just smiled back at him and winked.

I walked over to Emily who was still serving up eggs. Alice, Jasper and Edward followed.

"Good morning Bella," she said sweetly.

I took a deep breath, seeing if I could detect any tempting aroma coming from Emily. She did have a nutty, slightly sweet smell, and I did notice a slight tingle in my throat. But I was far more interested in the eggs she was making than her fragrance.

She looked at me with an odd sort of look. I was worried about scaring her. "Your eggs smell delicious Emily," I covered.

"Well you know how much the boys love them. It was so nice of Kate to have the food brought in for us."

She seemed at ease and unafraid, and that was calming as she served me some eggs and sausage.

"And thanks to Kate's generosity," she continued, "They can have more than their fill. I'm glad I get to cook for my boys once more..." her voice trailed off whistfully, but she recovered herself quickly. "…before the battle that is." She smiled widely, as Jared and Paul asked for thirds.

Emily's smile was contagious, and I couldn't help but return it. But I had a distinct impression, that something was off with Emily. Something _was_ off, and I couldn't put my finger on it.

Edward, Alice, Jasper and I sat down at a massive table with the rest of the Quileutes. Edward chuckled while he watched me devour the eggs and sausage. Jasper and Alice looked almost sick as they watched me. I didn't let their stare stop me. I continued to eat until I couldn't hold any more.

"Wow Bella," Seth laughed, "you're giving Paul a run for the money!"

The others laughed, and joined in making comments about the vampire eating. After Jared made the off comment "that's not blood sausage you know," Sam had had enough. He simply raised his hand and all was quiet.

I just smiled, lackluster a smile as it was, and enjoyed the feeling of being full.

While I was eating Jasper had turned his attention to Sam.

"I wanted to get your opinion on splitting up our numbers around the lake. I believe they will come from the west skirting the mountains. But I think they will fan out around the lake, either to look for signs of us, or humans in the area."

Sam shuddered slightly at the last part of Jasper's statement.

"We'll split up and run patrols," he said with firmness. "If there are any people in the area, we'll do what we can to protect them. But our purpose is to remove the threat, and that is what we will focus on."

"I think that is a good strategy," Jasper agreed. "But you should at least send two at a time; either to fight together or for one to keep them busy while the other sounds the alarm."

"It's a wise plan," Sam said. "When we get to the Lake, we'll run reconnaissance and look at all the angles."

"Speaking of the lake," Jasper announced, "We really need to get going now."

The Quileutes immediately gobbled down as much as they could while we got to our feet. Kate had already appeared, and was busy washing dishes, and packing food. The Quileutes watched in amazement at her speed. In less than five minutes, the food was packed up, and the dished put away.

We all assembled in the great room, and Carlisle spoke.

"We are leaving now to travel to Lake Wonder. We will set up an encampment on the northside, which is to say we will gather there, and decide on our positions. I have to ask that once we are aware of our enemy's presence, we all must be as quiet as possible. Sam, you and the pack will be able to keep the rest of us informed of your movements through Edward, or whichever of us you cross on patrol. Bella and Caleb, you will go immediately to your secure location, as soon as Jasper determines where that will be. The rest of us will take positions, and as soon as Bella has made contact with Jane and Alec, and then engaged the first of the guard, we'll begin our rear assault. Jasper has given us the technique we need; now we must all trust to our resolve. We have the hummers waiting outside,

We got into the hummers and started on our way to Lake Wonder. Edward, Jasper, Alice, and me were joined by Jacob and Leah. As we traveled, though none of us seemed to be up for too much conversation, I realized I had hardly talked to Jacob and Leah since they told me about Charlie and Sue. I noticed that Jacob looking very somber, and Leah watching him with a worried face. I wanted to help, whatever it was.

"What's wrong Jake?" I asked, looking at him and Leah for an answer.

"It's Sam." Leah answered, nodding at Jacob to finish.

I looked at him and waited.

"I don't know exactly Bells," he said with worry in his voice. "Sam talked to me last night, and it really gave me the creeps. He talked about embracing my responsibility to the pack, and my heritage as Ephraim Black's great grandson; that it would help in the days to come. Then he stopped talking to me; he closed his thoughts off from the rest of us."

"He won't share thoughts with any of us," Leah added. "Only when he's giving orders, but nothing else."

"Surely he's just trying to keep his mind on the battle," Edward said, trying to console them.

"Maybe," Jacob said, "But I don't know, I mean I've never seen him like this."

"We're all a little on the edge Jacob," Alice offered. "It's bound to make us all seem a bit odd."

Jacob just nodded, but I knew our exchange hadn't helped as much as I hoped.

I tried to turn things to a lighter subject.

"So have you guys had any time to talk about when you'll get married?"

Leah smiled in spite of the depressed atmosphere, and Jacob looked a little embarrassed.

"Yes," Alice said with a huge grin that wasn't quite appropriate considering our situation. She just couldn't help herself. "When we get done here, we really need to talk about it!"

"Well," Leah said, "we actually did discuss it a little before we left La Push. We'd like a traditional Quileute ceremony and reception."

Alice's animated face lost some of it's excitement for a moment. She seemed like she was mulling things over in her mind. "Well," she finally said, "since we have a new treaty that allows us to visit La Push, we can plan it right down to the last detail."

I looked at Jacob who looked like he was beginning to sweat, and just rolled my eyes in sympathy. He gave me half a grin, and gave me a wink. I truly hoped we would get to go to his and Leah's wedding.

We had been traveling for about ninety minutes when we saw the signs for Wonder Lake and Kantishna. There was also a sign for a ranger station.

"Ok, Jasper finally spoke. We need to make a stop, so Bella can test her theory. Jacob, can you please pass it along to the other Quileutes?" Jacob nodded, and closed his eyes to communicate with the pack.

Without waiting for Jasper to ask, Edward flipped open the silver satellite phone, and let Carlisle know that we were stopping for me to see if I could make contact with a ranger.

After he hung up, Jasper pulled the hummer over to the side of the road. The other cars went on ahead so as not to attract attention. The cloud cover being with us, we all got out and the beauty of the area immediately struck me. I understood why Carmen's family had chosen to settle here. We tried to appear like tourists enjoying the scenery.

"The station is just across the meadow there," Jasper said.

I looked across the meadow, and saw a quaint red cabin, with a single line of smoke slowly rising from the chimney. I could almost imagine the coziness inside. Outside, a ranger was gathering firewood that he had obviously just cut.

"Quick before he heads back in Bella!" Jasper ordered.

I stared at the man, and focused all my energy on connecting with him. I imagined his face, his hands, the feeling of the wood in his hands. I suddenly felt the familiar feeling of falling, the idyllic cabin scene faded to a man's hands carrying several logs, I came to an abrupt stop.

He went indoors, and placed the wood on a stone hearth.

"_**Hey Byron, wood's in!" **_He called.

From the small alcove that was the kitchen, an older, rugged looking man came out with an apron on, and a spoon in his hand.

"Bout time Dobbs, my old granny could chop a day's worth-a-wood in the time it took you to cut that armful of sticks!"

"_**Well why don't you chop it yer damn self then!" **_

If I could have mustered a laugh, I would have. I decided to see if I could switch hosts. I focused Dobbs' eyes on Byron and concentrated on his face and the spoon in his hand…falling…my view switching, and suddenly I was looking at Dobbs. I was surprised at how easy the transition was.

"What's for supper Byron?" Dobbs asked.

"_**With that nasty remark, maybe nuthin'!"**_

I decided it was time to see if I could manipulate him. I decided to get involved in the argument. I concentrated on Byron's hand. Without any hesitation at all, the spoon in his hand went flying across the room, and hit Dobbs square on the shoulder.

"What the hell did ya do that for?"

"_**I…I…I didn't do it, it just flew outta my hand!"**_

"Like hell it did, you threw it, I saw it."

As they were bickering, I faintly heard Jasper's voice calling…"Bella, come back now."

I left poor Dobbs angry at being assaulted with the spoon, and a confused Byron trying to apologize his way out of it.

I felt the sensation of rising a way until I was back to myself, hearing the argument still underway in the distant cabin.

"Jasper put his arm around my shoulders and said, "This is really good Bella, this is what we were hoping for."

I felt just a bit more optimistic that my plan was still in tact.

We drove around Wonder Lake to the northeast side; it was beautiful, and remote. When we caught up with the others, they had already exited the hummers. Emmett, Sam, Carlisle and Paul were stashing the hummers in a grove of pines. It was unlikely the Volturi would think the cars anymore than tourist's vehicles, but it couldn't have hurt to keep them out of site.

As we walked around, I noticed dotted around the area, small cabins, and larger central one with a sign that read Backcountry Lodge. I had been under the impression that this area around Wonder Lake was so remote that the possibility of people being around was miniscule. I suddenly became very worried about real tourists being in the area, and Jane and the Volturi were not the only ones I was afraid of them meeting. Remembering my close call with the delivery man, I suddenly felt very unsure of myself. "Edward, are there tourists here?"

Edward took my hand, gave me a serious look, and said, "It's the end of the season Bella, the lodge is closed until spring, so most of the tourists are gone. However, we can't guarantee there won't be any. We'll do our best to avoid them, but we can't fight the Volturi, and protect tourists at the same time."

"The Volturi aren't the only ones I'm worried about Edward."

He understood immediately what I was getting at. "Bella, you've shown great restraint, and I have faith that you'll be able to handle it."

I nodded, but I wasn't completely convinced.

Carlisle decided that it would be a good idea to make use of the lodge, for a couple of hours. The food was brought in, and everyone took a moment to re-group.

Sam was talking to the pack about patrolling the shore of the lake. They would go out two at a time all except Caleb who would accompany me to a place where I could pick my target hosts without fear of discovery.

After settling the logistics of their patrols, the Quileutes sat, and Sam retold the story of the heritage of the protectors, beginning with Kehlaha, the first spirit warrior; and Taha Aki the first wolf protector. As he spoke, I was glad that I got to share it with Edward. I had wished he'd been with me the first time I heart the story at La Push. It seemed so long ago; a lifetime ago, and yet only weeks had passed. When Sam got to recounting the story of the third wife my heart skipped a beat. I didn't understand why, but something hitched in my chest, and I felt suddenly sick. I knew something was trying to break through, but for some reason it couldn't.

As we were listening to Sam talk again about our friendship, and the new treaty, Alice suddenly gasped!

Sam stopped immediately, and all of us turned to look at her. She took Edward's hand as they shared what she was seeing.

Edward swore under his breath, and then shared it with the rest of us. "They're close, much closer than we thought. They'll be here in about an hour or so."

Sam stood straight up, mimicked by the rest of the pack. "Right, we start our patrols now! Grab a bite of food, and take off!"

Sam took Caleb aside and said, "The fate of our people my rest on your shoulders Caleb. Be the man I know you are; protect Bella so she can fulfill her part in this battle. Do not waver, and do not be afraid; the spirit of our fathers rests upon you. You are a protector, as they were, and their strength is in you. Remember, the pack will need brave men when this is over…I know it will find one of the bravest in you."

Caleb stood without flinching, and nodded to his Alpha. His eyes were full of tears, grateful for the confidence Sam had put in him.

The rest of the pack grabbed food to take with them, and were out the door. Edward and I stopped Jacob and Sam before they left. I hugged Sam and Emily, and said, "Be safe, I'll see you both soon."

Edward held out his hand, Sam responded. "Thank you Sam for everything you have down for our family, but especially for Bella." Sam shook Edward's hand and only nodded. Then he smiled down at me, and went through the door. Emily paused for a moment, and said, "You will do well Bella, I know you will. And remember…,"

"I know," I interrupted, "my promise. You have my word Emily."

She looked into my eyes with what I interpreted as sadness, nodded, and then turned to Leah, took her hands and said, "For all your pain, I am truly sorry Leah, but for all your joy, now and to come, I will always rejoice. I love you Leah; and you Jacob." She looked up at Jacob, and put her hand on his cheek. "Take care of my cousin, and our people, hmm?"

"I will Emily," Jacob said with an apprehensive look in eyes.

Then she was out the door, our eyes trailing after her.

I turned my attention back to Leah and Jacob. "You two stay safe; after all Alice has a wedding to plan right?"

Leah smiled a tepid smile, still worrying about Emily I assumed. I hugged her and said, "It'll be alright Leah, I know it will." She nodded and took Jacob's hand.

"I'll see you soon Bells, he said with confidence, and took me up in a hug with his free hand. After letting me down, he held his hand out to Edward. Edward smiled and shook his hand and said, "Take care Jacob."

"And you," Jacob said with a crooked grin.

"Let me know if you need anything, I'll be listening." Edward tapped the side of his head.

"Will do," Jacob said as he and Leah left.

Edward and I grabbed onto each other, and held tight. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to stay in his arms forever. But I knew I couldn't, not yet. I pulled away, kissed him, and looked into his eyes. "I promise to live for you, no matter what Edward." I waited for his promise.

He looked at me with pain in his eyes, but also determination. "I promise Bella, I promise to live for you."

With a quiet tearless sob, he pulled me off my feet, and held me tightly to his chest. We stayed there until Jasper clearing his throat interrupted us.

"We need to get going he said, looking guilty for interrupting us.

"I love you Bella," Edward said.

"And I love you," I returned.

I turned toward the rest of the family and said with a smile, "Love you all, please be careful, see you soon."

"Take care Bella," Carlisle said.

"You take all our love with you," Esme added.

Aro who was standing with Carlisle and the others, came up to me and said, "Take care Bella. You may have surprise on your side Bella, but Jane is no fool, and may have an element of surprise we don't yet know about. I hope I will see you shortly Bella. He smiled a strained, odd smile. I nodded, but gave him no other response.

I turned and met Edward's pain filled eyes; he was standing with his hands clenched in fists. I smiled and mouthed the words _I will come back_.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

Jasper, Alice, Caleb and I, walked out the door and headed east. We ran and took the trail to the nearby foothills and the old mining town of Kantishna where Jasper hoped to find an abandoned mine he once visited. As we climbed, I looked south over the lake and took in a different view of Mt. McKinley. I could not get over it's massiveness. If I had not had such a grave task ahead of me, I would have stopped to admire it. As we reached the top of the rise, we made our way through sparse pine trees, rocks and shrubs. Kantishna was still furnished with old cabins from it's heyday. Passing through the little village, we began to climb up again. Finally, Jasper spied what he was looking for. It was so overgrown that only one who had been there, with the tracking senses of a vampire would have been able to find it. Against a quickly dropping slope, was a well hidden mine entrance. It was creepy, and didn't look like a place I would want to go into. Fortunately I would only be occupying the first few feet; just far enough to camouflage Caleb and me.

"Ok," Jasper said, "have you decided how you're going to proceed?"

"Yes," I answered. "I think it makes the most sense to go after Alec first, use him to immobilize Jane, and then hold them both for whoever reaches them first. Then I'll go for the rear guard, and engage as many as I can."

"That sounds good Bella. I will try to be the one that gets to Jane and Alec." He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Once I have his throat Bella, I want you to release him, he won't be any trouble after that. Then just go for the guards."

"Ok Jasper," I said. I was a bit worried about the pain that I seemed to experience when my hosts did, but I knew I would do whatever I needed to make sure my family was safe.

"Caleb," Jasper continued, "You will have to do two things. First, you will have to keep an eye on Bella. We don't know the extent of what may happen to her in the midst of experiencing the pain she does with her host. She will react, but we don't know how violently." Caleb nodded, with a look of uncertainty on his face. "Second, you will also have to keep an eye on your surrounding area here. If you are happened upon by any of the guard, you will have to defend yourself, and you will need Bella's help. You will have to be prepared to get her to come back."

"Ok Mr. Jasper, I'll take care of it. I promise I'll take care of Bella no matter what!"

"I know you will Caleb," Jasper said slapping his shoulder.

He turned back to me and looked as though he wanted to say something, but didn't.

"It's alright Jasper," I said. "It's going to be ok, I'm going to be ok."

I looked at Alice. She hugged my so tightly, if I'd needed to breathe I wouldn't have been able to. I looked at her face, I knew she saw something, things were changing, but she shook her head, and I understood, that she couldn't or wouldn't share it with me now. I didn't want to know, I couldn't know now, or my focus would be lost and perhaps everything else. I just nodded my head and said "I love you Alice, very much."

She only nodded and turned quickly away and left. As Jasper left to follow her I called after him, "I love you too, brother."

He paused to look over his shoulder and smiled. I wondered if I would see either of them again.


	24. Last Stand

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

24. Last Stand

Caleb and I sat at the mouth of the mine, and just stared west over the Lake, looking for any sign of movement. I knew that my enhanced eyesight would see anything coming before Caleb. He was rock solid as he sat, the little boy playing soldier. I knew that was a wrong assessment, that he was so much more than that. But he seemed so young, so innocent, as though he should be playing Cowboys and Indians instead of Vampires and Werewolves. I could not imagine his experience the first time he phased. Remembering Jacob's voice on the phone when he was changing the first time, I could not bring myself to picture how this young boy had suffered. It made me so sad for him to be bound to his strange heritage. Yet to look at him now, so eager to embrace the danger that was coming for us, I couldn't imagine anyone braver.

"How are you feeling Caleb," I finally asked.

"Good Bella really good. I just wish I could be down there with Seth and the guys."

"I know Caleb, but I'm so glad you're here. I really feel better that you're with me."

He smiled with just a little smirk of pride, and then got just a little serious. "It really means a lot to me Bella that you trusted me, and that you asked Sam to let me stay."

"Well, you're a protector aren't you?"

"Yah, I am," he said contently.

"Then you're where you should be…right?"

"Right!" He said with a huge grin.

I forced a laugh at his face, so young, and yet so confident. He joined in, and for a brief moment, we forgot the danger. The moment was indeed brief, for almost immediately my eye caught movement to the far west side of the lake. I counted twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine figures exactly! No betting against Alice, I thought.

"Caleb," I said, "They're here."

Caleb jumped up, and said, "Ok, I'm ready."

"Let Sam and Jacob know, and tell them to get word to Edward."

Caleb nodded, and closed his eyes, communicating to Sam and the pack

I waited a few minutes before Caleb finally opened his eyes. "They're all ready Bella, they're just waiting for you to start. Jacob said to tell you that Jasper has spotted Jane and Alec already, and is waiting for you to begin."

I nodded, and without thinking, I kissed Caleb on the cheek, to which he blushed darker than I ever had. I looked into his deep black eyes, and said, "Here we go Caleb."

I moved back about ten feet into the mouth of the mine. Thinking he might like some privacy to remove his clothes to phase, I turned around and sat down. Somewhere far below us I heard the howl of a wolf.

I closed my eyes, and concentrated on Alec. I had only one encounter with him, in Volterra. I concentrated on my memory of his face, I said his name Alec…Alec…Alec…I began to fall. The feeling of falling was no longer confusing to me; I knew exactly what was happening. When I came to the expected abrupt stop I was looking directly at Jane! I recognized her angelic face, so attractive to the eye, and no hint of the cold, callous cruelty that lay underneath. From what I could tell, they were lakeside, and stationary. I didn't make a sound, but tried to listen.

"What are you orders Jane?" Alec made no attempt to look to the left to where the voice was coming from.

"Go with the others Demetri," Jane's high-pitched, child's voice ordered. "Seek out the Cullens, and the creatures that are helping them, destroy them all!"

In my mind wanted to scream, but I knew I couldn't, I had to remain silent. Sam, Jacob and the others would be more formidable than Jane or Demetri realized, and I had to take comfort in that. I heard the sound of Demetri leaving. Then Jane turned her attention to us.

"Alec, we must be sure that none of the Cullens or the wolf creatures escape.

"_**Of course Jane dearest. No one will be left alive to challenge our authority."**_

"Wait!" Another voice cried from Alec's right side. I froze as recognition flowed over me. Alec looked to the right, Irina!

"What about my family?" Irina asked with horror. "You said they would not be harmed!"

"If they had stayed in their cabin and kept to their own affairs," Jane sneered, "they would have been left alone. But as they have decided to join our enemies against us, their lives are forfeit!"

"NO! You can't!" Irina yelled.

Instantly Irina fell to the ground writhing and screaming in pain; obviously falling victim to Jane's cruel stare.

"You forget yourself Irina" Jane crooned venomously. "If you prefer, you can join your family in their fate. Is that what you wish?"

Jane released Irina from her power. Irina laid gasping and shaking on the ground.

"Well?" Jane asked, "What is it to be, loyalty and life in Volterra or death with your misguided family?"

Irina looked up at Jane, and with a growl lunged away. Jane made no attempt to pursue her, obviously relying on the guard to deal with her along with the rest of us.

We looked at her retreat and then Jane said, "Such an unwise choice. Pity, Irina had a very elegant quality. She would have been a pleasant addition to our court. Nevertheless, it is not to be unexpected from these vile vegetarians. To be ruled by emotion rather than natural instinct, such a waste. We will all be better off when all of them are destroyed!"

Jane laughed a musical laugh that suddenly released a bit of rage in me. I began to concentrate on Alec's body, his mind, his ability. I looked at Jane intensely, and hoping that Jasper was in position, I concentrated on paralyzing her. She looked at us in a strange almost hesitant way, and then her eyes went wide as saucers. "Alec…what are you…" her words abruptly stopped, and she stood perfectly still. Her eyes seemed to glaze over, and her face looked vacant.

"_**Jane?" Alec said. "Jane! What is it, what is wrong with you?" **_I could hear the panic in his usually passively calm voice.

"_Don't you recognize your own gift Alec?"_ I said with more than a little hatred. I continued to concentrate on Jane.

"_**What is going on, who is that, who is talking? SHOW YOURSELF AT ONCE!" **_He ordered, trying to assuage the panic I could feel growing in his mind.

"_I guess we never really have talked, have we Alec?" I said. "And unfortunately, I cannot show myself. I am already as close to you as I can be; or care to be for that matter."_

"_**What do you mean? Who are you? I order you to show yourself!" **_His voice was calmer now, but had its usual air of authority, albeit a little less commanding.

"_You are in no position to give orders here Alec, in fact you are about to be in no position at all."_

"_**Who are you?!"**_

"_I'm hurt you don't remember my voice. It's Bella Cullen Alec."_

"_**Bella…but…how…JANE!"**_

Just as Alec yelled her name, Jasper emerged from the bushes. He hit Jane with a familiar ferocity that took both Alec and I aback. I could hear Alec concentrating on Jasper, to paralyze him. But I was stronger, and I stopped his assault.

"_No, Alec," I said. "You can't interfere now."_

There was a series of snaps and crunches, but no sound from Jane, only Jaspers vicious guttural growls. Alec's unique gift must have provided some degree of anesthesia for her. I couldn't help thinking it was more kindness than she'd shown to Bree.

"_**Jane…no…no…JANE!" **_Alec cried with despair. In their own way, Jane and Alec had a connection to each other, the severing of which now filled him with true despair. But I could not bring myself to care. They had caused too much pain; they had too much blood on their hands. My words to Aro that I did not wish to destroy her were gone. As I saw Jasper work, I was glad, glad that she would never cause anyone else to suffer. I did not feel the guilt I would have before; I was not the same as I was before. The saying that war changes a person certainly was true for me.

Jasper worked quickly pulling Jane to pieces, and then lighting the pieces on fire. He then turned a deadly face in our direction. I remembered that face, from another life, when I was on the receiving end of the monster behind it. It caused me to shudder, but I stood my ground. I could feel Alec's instinct to run, I felt the legs fighting my control to move, but I held him.

"Bella," Jasper snarled, "When I have the throat!" I nodded Alec's head. At that, Alec wailed knowing what was coming. He would not be as fortunate as Jane. Jasper sprung forward; I allowed no defense from Alec. I felt a horrible choking pressure at my throat followed by searing pain, I heard Alec's gurgling scream as I released him and fell away. I stopped abruptly, and opened my eyes. I started breathing heavy, gasping at the memory of Jasper's attack. I suddenly became aware of how much danger I had been in that fateful night on my birthday last year. I also now realized why Edward felt it best to leave me for my own good. I still didn't think he should have, but understanding what he was protecting me from, made me love him all the more for it.

As I was shaking and gasping, Caleb rushed to my side. "Miss Bella!" He said, forgetting to drop the miss. "Are you ok?!"

He had phased back so quickly, obviously worried about me, he had forgotten to re-dress himself. I focused only on his face.

"Yes…um…Caleb…I'm…um…fine," I assured him. "Jasper's…ah..attack was very scary!"

"Oh, I guess I can understand that. I wouldn't want him mad at me. But did everything go according to plan?"

"Everything went…um…perfect! Ah, Caleb?"

"What Miss Bella?"

"You really should either phase back or put some clothes on."

"Holy crap!" He cried rushing back out the mine entrance quicker than he came. I almost had to hold back peals of laughter. I was surprised when I realized that _had_ peals of laughter to hold back. My emotions wanted to be free, but they couldn't be, not yet; I had to get to the next part of my task.

I went outside the mine and found wolf Caleb with his head on his paws obviously embarrassed.

"I put my arm around his shoulder and said, "Don't be embarrassed. Hey, if I weren't a married woman, I'd be very tempted right now. You've got great muscles Caleb!"

The wolf lifted his head, and panted in gratitude, then licked my cheek with a long slimy tongue.

"Eew, Caleb, I mockingly scolded him; married woman remember?"

He smiled a large wolfy grin, and I had to smile back.

"Ok," I said, "Time to get back to work. Keep your eyes open, call me back if there's trouble?"

Caleb nodded, and I started.

I scanned the horizon and found the approaching guard. I could not count the 27 figures that should be approaching. But I focused on the rear most guard, knowing somewhere gathering behind him was my family. Pale, tall and lithe, he moved with deadly stealth. I focused all my thought on the tall vampire. I concentrated on his face…I began to fall again, and again stopped. I was walking quickly and deliberately. I could hear and see the guards ahead of me. I made no attempt to catch up. I was guarding the rear as I had hoped. I studied the guards moving ahead of me, and decided on the guard to my left. He was large, burly, and certainly dangerous to the wolves and the family. I began to walk my host guard faster, and in the direction of the burly guard. Before he could react to his body suddenly doing its _own thing_, I made my move. As I approached the other guard, I made the host guard reach out and smack him on the back of the head.

The other guard stopped abruptly and turned to face my host."Carlo! Che cosa? Che cosa è esso?"

Did I understand him? I did! Wow, I understood him in…Italian! I listened to him repeat himself this time with understanding.

"Carlo buono? Che cosa è esso? Perchè lo colpite?" "Well Carlo? What is it? Why do you strike me?"

"_**I… non, io non capisco che cosa è accaduto, io chiedo scusa, Roberto."**_** "I...I do not, I do not understand what happened, I apologize, Roberto."**

It was fascinating to understand a language that I had never learned, but I had work to do. This time I was not subtle. I launched Carlo at Roberto in an all out assault, Carlo crying out in protest. I impacted him sideways, and grabbed onto his throat slashing with Carlo's sharp teeth. Robert answered back with a backhanded blow to our head. The pain was intense, and it made Carlo angry as I had hoped. Roberto was standing looking at us, his teeth bared and fists clenched. I could feel the anger mixed with confusion in Carlo's head. I decided to try something.

"_Why should he strike us when we were only joking?" _I tried to sound like a subconscious whatever that sounds like, nothing. He wasn't responding. I decided to try something…_ "Perchè dovrebbe colpirlo quando stavamo scherzando soltanto?"_ I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it, but it was working, I could feel Carlo's anger growing now. He jump back straight at Roberto's throat again. We were rolling punching biting, growling and locked in a fierce battle. I felt the sting of every bite and slash of Roberto's teeth. It was getting more and more violent. I decided it was time to find the next pair of guards. I released Carlo, and found myself back at the mine. Caleb was watching me nervously, visible calmer now that I was back to myself. I winked at him, and looked for my next pair of guards. Not far ahead, from where Roberto and Carlo were fighting, I saw another likely candidate, and I was off again. I repeated my instigations three or four more times. On the last time, I heard Caleb's faint voice calling me back.

"MISS BELLA! Come back!"

I came back to myself to find Caleb, human, animated and worried. "What is it Caleb?" I asked.

"Someone is coming, they're almost here!"

I looked at his young face, and wanted to scream for him to run. But even if he would listen to me, I knew we would have to work together to defeat an enemy.

"Ok, Jasper showed us what to do, right?"

"Right!"

"Phase Caleb, and be ready."

Caleb shuddered violently, and exploded into the wolf again, and we waited. A guard? One of our own? I prepared myself.

"Well, well, well," a sinisterly familiar voice said. I froze as I looked into the face of Felix. I knew this was something Caleb and I were not prepared for. I knew I had to stay in control, or we'd be lost. I also knew I'd been right; if there was any chance for Caleb and I, it would take both of us to defeat Felix, if it were even possible.

"Felix." I greeted him without emotion.

"What have you been up to I wonder?" He leered. "And who or what is this mongrel you've got with you?"

Caleb growled so ferociously, that it gave Felix pause before he continued.

"After I take care of the dog here, I'll spend some time with you Bella. You've turned out quite nicely you know" he said with a lecherous stare. "I like the eyes! You don't need to die right away, we can have a bit of fun first. You might even think it's worth your life to spend a few hours with me, hmm?"

Caleb let out another growl as a look of disgust crossed my face. "I think," I said with as much revulsion as I could manufacture, "I'd prefer a long and gruesome death, to a few more hours of life with you!"

An evil grin crossed his face, along with his trademark wink.

Caleb and I stood, and prepared ourselves. I put my hand on his shoulder and whispered "together."

"Hmph! What a waste," Felix hissed. "So be it."

He launched forward at Caleb and I, and we immediately split, causing Felix to soar past us. Before he could turn, Caleb struck his shoulder, tearing out a chunk of marble hard flesh, skipping out of the way of his strike. Felix growled with pain and anger.

"Now you will both die slowly," he warned.

He rushed forward towards me, but expecting me to cringe left him unprepared for my counter assault. As Felix jumped at me, I jumped also, but twisting so I was flying underneath. As I passed underneath I closed my teeth around his calf, and tore out another chunk of flesh. Before he had time to recover, Caleb struck again! Another piece gone. Felix landed and re-centered himself. Caleb came at him again, but this time Felix was ready, and he deflect Caleb with a crushing blow to his shoulder. I heard him howl in pain. I hoped that the pack would hear him, either by his howl, or in his head.

Felix looked at me with savage anger. "Wait there Bella, I'll finish your pet, and then I'll be back for you!"

I couldn't let him hurt Caleb any more; I wouldn't!

"Felix!" I said, re-capturing his attention. "Why wait, I'm ready now!" When I returned his wink to him, it was too much. With a vicious growl he lunged at me flying through the air. The mountain lion and grizzly bear came screaming back to my mind, and I knew what I would do. I sped forward towards Felix, but instead of meeting him head on, as he expected, at the last second I leapt into the air over his head. I grabbed a hold of his head, and before he could return my grasp, my teeth were at his throat, ripping with ferocity. Felix screamed with horror and shock. I continued to tear through the rock hard flesh on his throat until his head came away from his body. I left his head where I landed. I returned to his body and began ripping and tearing. Before I knew it Caleb was coming back with just a bit of a limp. He began to help me rip and tear. Then I suddenly realized, I had no way to make a fire. I was afraid to leave the pieces of Felix for fear he might put himself together again. Caleb whined.

"I know," I said, "but I don't have any matches!"

"I do," a voice spoke from behind us.

We both spun around and took a defensive stance, before realizing it was Jasper.

"Jasper!" I said elated. I was so relieved I threw my arms around his neck, and hugged him.

Jasper just let me hug him until I was done and let go.

"Sorry Jasper," I said.

"It's ok Bella. Nice work with Felix. It's amazing the two of you handled him."

We all quickly surveyed the area to make sure we had every piece of Felix. Then Jasper lit the fire, and sent the last remains of Felix skyward in a thick purple haze.

"Ok," I said, "So what is going on down there?

"We're holding our own," Jasper replied. "We've killed about half of the guard so far, but it's not over yet. We have to get back down there and help. And there's one other thing…"

"Demetri is still out there," I finished for him.

"Yes, and he is more deadly than Felix. We need to be careful, all of us."

"Wait," I said, getting an idea. "We need to know where he is right?"

"Yes?" Jasper said waiting.

"Why don't I just pay him a visit and find out where he is?"

Jasper just smiled and nodded quickly.

I sat down, closed my eyes, and focused on Demetri. Falling and stopping I was there. To my horror, I was face to face with Aro!

"How goes it Demetri?" Aro asked.

"Very well…master," he said with a bit of irreverence. As Demetri looked around, off in the distance keeping watch were five guards.

"Come now Demetri," Aro whispered, keeping his voice from the guards hearing. "A bargain is a bargain. I escaped, and we renegotiated. I knew the Cullens would deal with Jane and Alec. Bella's abilities were worth waiting for. I still hope to add her, Edward and Alice to our court at Volterra. Or if they still refuse, then it will be a great loss, but a necessary one, yes?"

Demetri said nothing, but I could see the mistrust in his mind, and feel it on his face.

Then Aro's voice began to flow like a snake charmer's flute. "I saw you put your eyes on Alice in Volterra, hmm…?

I immediately felt Demetri's demeanor change. I saw his memories of Alice, and his thoughts of her perfect face, and small demure features. I felt his desire for her, I felt nothing be seething hatred for him.

"You could put much more than your eyes on her when she's free of her husband and safe in Volterra…." Aro's voice trailed off as though it would lead Demetri right to Alice.

Then Demetri's desire turned to pure lust as in his mind flashed other visions of Alice that made me want to use his own hands to rip his throat out. I nearly left him to avoid seeing the atrocities he had in mind for my sister. But I focused on Aro. I thought furiously about what to do, and suddenly I had it.

Before Demetri knew what hit him, I took absolute control. His voice, his expressions, his body was mine to control. In his mind terror overtook him as he said,

"_**What is happening, why can't I move?"**_

"_How many of your victims, I wonder," _I said with the extreme hatred I felt for him,_ "asked that same question under Alec's influence, before you destroyed them?_

While our mental conversation was going on, I kept a look of pondering on Demetri's face. Aro with his controlled patience waited as I knew he would.

"_**Who is this?!" **_Demetri asked bringing my attention back to him.

"_Someone with abilities worth waiting for," _I said smoothly.

"_**Bella!"**_

"_Very good Demetri. I'm glad you know me, so when I tell you this you will know it's true…YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH ALICE, OR ANY OF MY FAMILY!"_

I could feel his desire to scream and warn Aro. I let him scream, but the words were mine, "Aro has betrayed Jane and Alec, SEIZE HIM!"

Aro's face became horrific and terrified, and the five guard took hold of him.

Aro looked at Demetri's face, puzzled.

"Don't be surprised Aro," I said with Demetri's voice. "How can you trust a betrayer? I never trusted you to help us survive. I wish I had been wrong about you."

"Bella?" he said almost with a grin.

I made no sign that he was right. I had to play my part.

"Well, somehow I always knew you were our equal. And now you prove me right."

"I am nothing like you Aro!" I spat at him.

"Perhaps," he said, "Perhaps not yet…" He suddenly pulled his chalky white hand from the guards and grabbed on to the side of my head. He looked wildly into my eyes and said. "A parting gift dear Bella. To whom much is given, much is required!" I suddenly felt as though I had crashed into a wall. It was as though a floodgate of time and memories flooded into my mind. Millennia of history, Aro's history, the history of our kind, flashed through my mind, sealing itself to me, becoming part of me. Wars, celebrations, and sadnesses innumerable became fixed in my memory. I could not contain it all, I felt like my head wanted to break apart. I was afraid I would pass out. With a reserve of mental strength that I didn't know I had I screamed "Destroy the traitor! I heard Aro give out a high-pitched shreak, and the familiar sound of vampire flesh being broken as I fell into blackness.

I felt like I was floating, but not on the ocean this time. I felt as though I was floating through a visual history book. I saw extemporaneous visions of different people and places. I saw Roman Gladiators in the Coliseum, then Celtic druid priests sacrificing at a Stonehenge like alter. I was in New Orleans, then whisked away to Scotland and a place called Loch Shiel. I knew the places and names, the events and characters. It was like walking through a labyrinth of history. I began to understand events and their significance. I started to relive Aro's life as one of the oldest living vampires. I saw sinister plots, and conspiracies, and also occasional contentment. I saw the weariness of mind in living so long, and the desperate attempt at amusements to forget. All of the pursuits of Aro's long life still missed the one thing that might have made his life less of a burden to his mind. I pondered the missing element, and looked for signs of it in his life and never found it. Surprisingly, I mourned that he never found it. His life, his pursuits, his treatment of others would have been so different had found it. And that's when I knew….

"Bella!" Please Bella, please wake up!" I could hear a voice calling me back from my vision, pulling me away. I went willingly; I wanted to leave this place of despair and loneliness.

I opened my eyes to a worried Jasper and Caleb.

Jasper took me up in a hug, and said, "Thank the stars Bella, I didn't know what I was going to tell Edward!"

Edward! I had been so pre-occupied with what I had to do, I had not even thought of Edward in hours.

"How long was I out Jasper?" I cried, "Where is Edward and the others; are they ok?"

"It's only been a few minutes since you contacted Demetri," he said. "But you fell so abruptly, like you were dead Bella! And then I couldn't wake you. It took ten minutes to get you back. As far as I know they are ok, but we need to move and join them. Do you know where Demetri is?"

"Only that he's in the company of five guards.

Jasper thought for a moment, and then asked, Are you ok, can you walk?"

"I'm fine, let's go!"

Jasper, Caleb and I ran down the slope of the foothills toward the eastside of the lake. We immediately heard the battle going on in different places.

"Caleb," Jasper said, "Find out where the rest of the pack is, and find Edward and Emmet if you can."

Caleb nodded his head and closed his eyes to listen.

Suddenly he let out a shriek-ish howl that sent a shiver through me.

"What Caleb, what is it?" Jasper demanded. "Is it the pack?"

Caleb nodded quickly and animated as though he wanted to run.

"Ok Caleb, lead the way," Jasper said.

We were off! Caleb ran with incredible speed. It was no problem for us to keep up, but we were traveling so fast the trees were a blur and the reflection of the light sky was a smooth blurry ribbon. Finally Caleb slowed and we heard the battle going on just beyond a rise in the terrain. We peaked over and saw Sam, Seth and Emily cornered by five guard and Demetri! He had apparently gone on with the ruse I stared with the Aro. What other choice did he have?

Sam and Seth had Emily behind them in a desperate attempt to protect her.

"Oh god Jasper, Emily!' I said.

He looked at me with deadly eyes, and growled, "Ready?" I nodded.

"Let's go!" He snarled.

We careened down the slope of the rise and before they knew what hit them, Caleb, Jasper and I hit the five guards from behind, knocking them all to the ground, we landed near Sam and the others and turned to face the attackers. I placed myself in front of Emily; I vowed to myself that no one would hurt her.

"Stay behind me Emily!" I growled. She gave me no response that I took as a yes.

The guard attacked again, this time they were met by three wolves, Jasper and I. Caleb and I attacked one guard and made short work of him. In moments he lay in several large quivering pieces. I looked up and met Demetri's gaze. I smiled at him and tapped the side of my head. He snarled and landed in a crouch. I mimicked his action. He sprung and so did I, but my attack was cut short by Jasper who grabbed me just in time to be missed by Sam's massive body hitting Demetri head on. They landed tumbling and snarling over a ridge. I returned to my place by Emily. She immediately tried to follow Sam and Demetri, but I held her and said "NO Emily, you can't help and you know it!" She looked at me with agony in her eyes. He scared face showing more emotion than it might have otherwise. She nodded and stayed by me. Another guard lunged at us, and I used my now familiar mountain lion jump locking on the guards throat and removing his head with a swift movement. Jasper had taken out another; that left two. The two remaining guard with no sign of Demetri, decided the odds were too even, and fled. Jasper and Caleb pursued while Seth and I busied ourselves with piling pieces of guard and starting a fire.

Within about a minute three things happened; we heard a blood-curdling howl that was quickly silenced, Seth let out his own howl; it was strange, agonizing, and it caused Emily to cry out "Sam!" Then Sam's limp body landed in front of us. The three of us looked at Sam; his body was broken and lifeless, we knew he was dead. Demetri smiling walked slowly towards us, murder in his eyes. "Not very good at their job, are they, these watchdogs?" He spat out a laugh, and added, "I'll think of you Bella when I have my way with your little sister!"

I looked at Sam's body, and I wanted to kill Demetri in the most painful way I could. The emotions definitely wanted to break out! I crouched to use my lion move on him, but Seth was quicker and smashed head long into him. Just as Sam had done, Seth wrestled tore and pummeled, but Demetri was no guard, and my new memories told me why Aro had kept him. He was deadly, methodical and ruthless; and he was too much for us. He flung Seth away with cruel strength. Seth broadsided a tree and yelped with agony. He tried to get up but fell again. Emily and I raced to his side, he was still moving but clearly incapacitated. We turned to see Demetri advancing towards us. I reared up, grabbed Emily and tossed her a few feet away, and lunged at Demetri. I flew over his head and was about to go for his throat, but he suddenly shifted and a smashing blow hit my face as I landed a few yards away. I was dazed, and dizzy, and I tried to get up. As I staggered to my feet I prepared for another attack, but none came. To my horror, he was standing over Seth about to deal a deathblow. I screamed Seth's name, and then heard a loud chant. I didn't understand what was being said, but I recognized it as Quileute. Both Demetri and I looked over at Emily, who was standing with a large knife in her hand and singing in her native tongue. Demetri looked at her with confusion and then amusement when he saw the knife.

I suddenly gasped with horror when a memory smashed its way through to my mind. _The third wife!_ That's what Emily had in mind, NO!

"Emily NO!" I screamed but it was too late, she plunged the knife deep into her thigh. She shrieked in pain and fell to the ground, her leg spurting red. Her aim had been perfect, hitting the main artery in her leg. Her plan worked; just as Demetri was about to finish Seth, the smell of Emily's blood stopped him in his tracks. He turned and slowly and deeply took in the scent of her blood. I felt a cold shiver run through me as I remembered the familiar look that I saw on Demetri's face. It was the same as James' that night he began hunting me. Demetri's instinct took over, he crouched and sprung before I could react; but he was suddenly hit in mid air. Caleb growling ferociously, latched on to his throat, and ripped half of it away, Demetri hit the ground trying to get to his feet. But Caleb gave him no time to recover, he hit his throat again, and severed his head. After that it was short work for Caleb to take him apart. Emily's blood had distracted him too much to be prepared for Caleb's attack, and it was his undoing.

In the few moments it took for Caleb's attack, the smell of Emily's blood hit me. My throat burned, the voice started to wake up, and I felt the thirst. But as I looked at Emily laying on the ground, not moving I ordered the voice away, and ignored the thirst. This time the voice obeyed without reprisal, and I pushed the thirst back to a manageable place. It seemed impossible, but I did it. I ran to Emily's side and despite her sweet blood in my nostrils, and venom burning my mouth, my only desire was to save her. I picked her up in my arms; her soft body was already becoming limp, and she was passing in and out of consciousness. I could hear her heart and the blood pulsing through her veins slowing. "Emily!" I said loudly. She opened her beautiful eyes, barely smiled and said, weakly, "A…Ka..Lat…Sam" Realizing I did not understand she said, "St. James Sam…must rest…at St…James." Tears were running down my cheeks as I nodded. "At our…house in…in…La Push…some…thing for…you."

All of a sudden, I heard a gasp and a low growl; I looked up and saw Jasper, eyes closed and fists clenched…the blood!

"JASPER!" I screamed. It brought him back a bit, and he opened his eyes and looked at me. He took a step forward fighting it. "NO STAY BACK!" I screamed, "GET CARLISLE…" my voice was breaking, "Get him…get him…please…" my voice trailed off in tears.

I don't know if it was my scream or my tears, but Jasper somehow found the strength to go; but I knew it was already too late. I looked down at Emily, who was struggling to breathe, her chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven movements. Her blood was all but spent, but she reached up and caressed my cheek with a delicate bloody hand and with one last breath she said, "For your…pro_mise_…" Her hand fell away…her breathing stopped…her body relaxed, and she was gone. I finally understood my dream, and why she and Sam were leaving.

The emotional lock down that had already been waning disintegrated completely! The emotions came flooding out, and the one that surfaced first was blinding, agonizing grief! I screamed "NO!" several times and began to sob and rock Emily in my arms. I didn't know if anyone else had died, I didn't know if the battle was over or if I would ever see Edward again. I only knew that she was gone, and it violated every sense in me. It was a cost that we all knew we each might have to pay, but instantly I thought the cost had been too high. I wanted to scream at God, heaven, destiny, or anyone, anything that I could blame. But I knew that was wrong, and of no use. Sam and Emily were gone, and there was no changing it. I knew I could have tried saving her as Edward had saved me, but it would not have been what she wanted. I had chosen this life; but I would never choose it for someone else. Emily was with Sam again, this time forever, and I knew it was exactly where she wanted to be. It was the only comfort I could take from her death. I sat for a long time before I realized that Caleb and Seth were beside me, in human form, tears streaming down their faces. Seth looked battered and bruised, and held his arm as though it were broken. I couldn't bring myself to ask him if he were alright, I couldn't bring myself to speak at all. I just kept my cheek on Emily's head and looked at them through my own tears. So without talking we sat and wept together.

After what seemed like an eternity, Seth and Caleb looked up. I didn't follow their gaze though, I just stared at the ground holding Emily.

"Bella?" a pained voice asked. I didn't respond.

Someone's hands tried to take Emily from my arms, "NO!" I snarled. "Don't touch her!" I knew she was dead, but I still wanted to protect her.

"Bella love, please, let her go; we need to take her to be with Sam." I looked up and saw Edward's perfect face, alive and in front of me. I shook my head, and began to sob and rock Emily again. Edward dropped to one knee and just looked at me for a few minutes. Then, gently but firmly, he took my hands away from her body, cradled Emily in his arms, and then handed her to Carlisle who quickly carried her away.

Edward gently picked me up holding me against his chest.

"Sam…and…and…Emily! I sobbed again.

"I know, sweetheart I know." There was a hitch in his voice, the only crying he was capable of. I suddenly clung to Edward tightly. I didn't ever want to let go. _Let the rest come and take us I thought, I don't care as long as I'm in his arms._

Edward sat down, cradling me in his arms and said, "It's over Bella, it's all over."

I didn't answer him, all I wanted was to stay in his arms forever.

"Bella, did you hear me?" He asked.

I nodded, but said nothing.

After a few minutes, I looked at Edward and touched his face to make sure he was really with me. I had so focused on my objectives, and then on my grief, that I had almost forgotten why we had been fighting. Edward smiled a sad smile touched my forehead with his own and said. "I was so afraid of losing you Bella. I kept reminding myself of my promise to live. And I would have Bella, I would have. But I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest when I thought of what that would mean. Thank you for living Bella, for coming back to me!"

"I promised I would, didn't I?" I said through more tears.

He looked into my eyes, wiping the tears from underneath them. "You did, and you kept your word."

"And you kept yours," I said pulling myself tight against his chest.

"We can go home now and feel safe, Bella, no more fear."

"Not all of us Edward…" I trailed off, the sobs starting again.

He lifted me up, and carried me all the way back to the Backwoods Lodge without stopping. He took me up to one of the lodge guest rooms, set me on the bed, and started to run a bath in the attached bathroom.

It seemed such an odd thing to do after everything that had just happened, I asked, "What are you doing Edward?"

"Bella," he said very gently, putting his arms around me, "Love, you're covered in blood."

I suddenly looked down and realized I was covered almost head to foot with Emily's blood. The sight brought her death back to my mind.

"Emily…!" I cried.

"Oh god Bella I'm so sorry love," Edward moaned as he held me tightly again.

Nothing could stay the tide of grief that continued to assault me over Sam and especially Emily's death. Even as Edward finally began to remove my blood-stained clothes, and washed the blood from my hair and body, I was submerged in intense mental pain that kept me sobbing as though I were drowning in it. Edward wrapped me in a blanket, and then lay me down on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close against his body, and held me. When I had no tears left in me, I succumbed to the only relief I could find, sleep; I gave myself up to it.

I did not dream…I did not think…I did not feel.


	25. Bereavement

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

25. Bereavement

I opened my eyes. The grey light of morning was pouring in the windows. I felt Edward's body behind me, and his arms around me. I had every memory of the day and night before. But I was in his arms, and that was all I cared about. I turned towards him, his eyes looking for another onslaught of tears. I put my hands on his face and whispered, "I love you so much Edward, so, so much."

"And I love you Bella." He answered as he pulled me closer. He kissed me tenderly and asked, "How are you this morning?

"I'm ok Edward really. Just please tell me everyone else is ok, that we haven't lost anyone else!"

"Everyone is fine love; busy making preparations to leave I imagine. The lodge is closed for the season, but that doesn't mean the rangers won't come check on the place.

Then Edward looked at me with a relieved smile and said, "Your plan worked Bella, it really worked."

"Did you destroy all of the remaining guards then?"

"No. They realized the battle was swaying in our favor, and when the learned that the leaders were dead, they were more inclined to be reasoned with. Carlisle told them that they were free to go, as long as they swore they would not attack our family or the wolves ever again. He said they were free to go back to Volterra or wherever they chose. They agreed, and left.

"Do you think they will keep their agreement?"

"After seeing how we decimated Jane, Alec, Felix and especially Demetri, I think they have more than enough incentive to keep their words. Truthfully Bella, if you hadn't been able to pull off the first part of the plan by removing Jane and Alec, I think the rest of them might have overcome us.

"Did you find Aro?" I asked.

"Yes we did I'm sorry to say; what was left of him anyway. The guards had burned most of his body, but we found his…his…well we found his head."

I tried to put that image out of my mind, "Don't be too sorry, he betrayed us you know."

"What do you mean?" Edward asked surprised.

"After we got rid of Jane and Alec, he apparently struck a deal with Demetri to destroy everyone but me, you and Alice. Demetri wanted Alice for…well use your imagination."

A low growl escaped Edward's throat.

"Exactly," I said. "I wanted him dead Edward, I wanted him dead so badly for wanting to hurt Alice. Thanks to Caleb he is."

"Caleb killed Demetri?" Edward asked amazed.

"Emily…" the grief wanted to return, but I pushed it away. "Emily distracted him, and Caleb took advantage of it. He never had a chance after Caleb's first attack. Demetri would have killed Seth, me and I don't know how many more of us, if it hadn't been for Caleb."

I grimaced at the thought of what Demetri did to Sam, and in turn, what Emily did. It must have worried Edward. He pulled me to him and asked earnestly, "Bella, how are you really? Are you sure you're alright?"

"I am Edward, I am, but I'm so sad about Emily and Sam; I just can't believe they're gone. It seems so wrong, that they won't be with the pack at La Push."

"I know Bella," he said with sadness in his voice. "They gave everything for the rest of us, and we are all so truly sad at their loss."

I was uncomfortable about it, but I had to ask Edward something. "What did you do with them? Sam and Emily?

"Well," he answered carefully, "Jacob wasn't sure what to do, but he thinks it might be better to bury them at Carmen's. She and Eleazar have agreed to provide a place for them. He's very upset about the whole thing though."

"No," I said quietly. "We have to bring them home to La Push. Emily said that Sam needed to rest at St. James Island. And I'm sure she would want to rest with him there. That's what she wanted, and I think we should honor that."

"I'll let Jacob know Bella."

I nodded and asked, "How is Jacob? How is handling everything? I closed my eyes tightly against the tears that wanted to return thinking of Jacob's pain.

Edward answered, "It's been so hard on him Bella, and he feels lost without Sam I think. Actually, now that you've brought him up, he would like to see you if you're up to it."

I struggled to breathe at the thought of having to face Jacob. I knew that I was not responsible for Emily and Sam's deaths. They would have had to fight whether they had come with us or not. Still I felt connected with it, and it gave me the feeling of guilt.

I pushed my misplaced guilt away, and said, "Ok, can you go get him?"

Edward nodded and said, "I left some clothes for you in the bathroom, just some jeans and a flannel shirt I found in the lodge's gift shop."

He got up to leave, but seeing Edward move towards the door, cause me to miss him before he was gone. I quickly ran and kissed him fervently and added, "Don't go far though, ok?"

"Never," he said with a smile, "you wait here."

Edward left, and I got up and tried to collect myself. I went into the bathroom to get the clothes. I found the jeans and a red and black flannel shirt that was a couple sizes too big. I assumed that Leah would accompany Jacob, but when I heard the door open and closed, I walked out of the bathroom to see Jacob by himself.

He looked haggard, and sad. His eyes were red and swollen from tears, and it brought back my own tears that started slowly streaming down my face.

I opened my arms, and he walked slowly into them. He took me up into a firm hug and held on tight.

"I'm so, so sorry Jake," I said quietly. "I don't know what to say or do. I want to make it right but I don't know how."

"Don't do that Bells," he said wearily, "don't do that to yourself. There is nothing you need to _make_ right. We would have had to fight either here or at La Push anyway. If it had been at home, we would have lost everyone. We would have lost everything if not for your plan. You helped save our people Bells. Sam would…."

His voice broke with a sob, and he broke down. He slid to the floor taking me with him. He laid his head in my lap, and I just held him as he wept. I wanted so bad to make everything all right for Jacob, but I knew his pain was something that only time would heal.

Finally, after he regained some composure Jacob sat up.

"I'm sorry Bells," he said wiping his face and his nose.

It's ok Jake, it's ok. I can't believe they're gone either.

"They knew," he said in an ominous voice, "Sam and Emily…somehow they knew that this was gonna happen. I don't know how, but they did. Sam talked to me the night before last. He told me it was time I took my rightful place as the Alpha. He said he and Emily, wanted some time to themselves, and that they were leaving. I tried to tell him I didn't want to be the leader, but he wouldn't listen. He just said we'd talk about it when we got back to La Push, but he knew we'd never have that…talk…" There was a slight hitch in Jacob's voice as his grief threatened to return. He closed his eyes, and re-centered himself. After a minute or so, he was better and he continued.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without him Bells! How can I lead when he's not there to advise me? You know I never wanted that responsibility; but I always thought if I ever had to take the Alpha role, I would at least have Sam to help me. Sam helped me so much when I first phased Bells; he helped all of us. Who do we turn to now, who do I turn to? He put his head in his hands, shaking it in despair.

"Jake," I said, "You _can_ turn to Carlisle, and Edward, and me. I know it's not the same; I know that no one can ever replace Sam, but we will always be there to help you, if you'll let us."

He lifted his head and looked at me, and though his grief was still with him, a small amount of relief seemed to wash over his face, and he asked, "Really Bells? I mean you don't think Edward and Carlisle would feel…uncomfortable? Don't you think there might be weirdness between Edward and me?"

"Jacob, after all our two families have been through together, how could you worry about that? You know Carlisle; you know he will help in any way he can. And the only weirdness between you and Edward was me, and that's not an issue anymore is it?" He smiled a bit and shook his head. "And don't you remember the new treaty? We are all family now, and who better to help than family? Besides, you're my best friend Jake, and now so is Leah…"

I suddenly remembered Leah. "Oh Jacob, how is Leah doing, she must be so heartbroken!"

His face twisted into a painful grimace at the mention of her name.

I felt panicked all of a sudden, "Jacob, she's ok isn't she? She wasn't hurt was she?"

"No Bells," he said to my relief, "She wasn't hurt…"

I could tell by his face there was more, and I shook his arm and said "…and?"

"She was so upset Bella, over Emily and Sam, she was inconsolable. I tried to calm her down, but she was practically hysterical. Carlisle had to give her a sedative. I felt so helpless, all I could do was hold her Bells."

"How is she this morning?" I asked.

"Well, she's calmer, but she's so sad Bella, I want to break down every time I see her."

Jake looked as though his heart would break, talking about Leah. In his anguish, I could see how much he truly loved her. I wanted to help, to make it better for him and for her.

"Is she still sedated?"

"No, but she hasn't come out of the room Carlisle put her in. I asked her if I could come in, but she no. I'm about ready to go out of my mind Bells. I can, I mean we all can see her grief, but she won't let us past it. I don't know what to do. All I want is to be with her and she won't let me!"

He looked so miserable, I knew I had to do something for him.

"Would you mind Jake, if I try to talk to her?"

He looked at me as though he wanted to say no. "I don't know Bella. _I_ don't mind if you talk to her, but I don't know if she'll be willing. I haven't heard her say or think she blames the…I mean you Cullens, but I have a feeling she might. I don't want you to be hurt, and I don't want her to be upset more than she already is."

I hugged Jacob tenderly and said, "It's ok Jake, I won't be hurt no matter what she says. And I won't upset her. I'll just try to talk to her, and if she won't, she won't, ok?"

"Ok Bells. I hope you can get through to her. She's been through so much already, and to have this happen now."

I could see Jacob getting upset again, so I stood up and said, "come on, let's go talk to her."

I had a feeling I understood Leah's feelings very well. She _had _been through an emotional roller coaster over the last couple of years. If finding out that she and her brother were both werewolves wasn't hard enough, there were other things as well. Her father dying; Sam imprinting on Emily; and then his accidentally scarring her; having to deal with Charlie's romance with her mom; and now losing Sam and Emily both the same day. There was only so much drama a person could take without cracking. I knew; I was a perfect case study in emotional basket cases! I also had a feeling that there was something more going on with her, and if I could ease it for her, I would.

We got to the room where Leah was, and Jacob knocked on the door. "Leah, honey, it's Jacob. Are you alright? Can I come in?"

"NO!" Her voice sounded raspy, and sore, and she began to cry quietly again. I don't know if Jacob could even hear it, but I did. I looked up at Jacob, and motioned with my head for him to go downstairs. He nodded and left walking like a man who had nothing to live for. I felt so bad for him I knew I had to try with Leah. I waited a few minutes, thinking about what I would say to her, and then I knocked.

"Jacob," she said wearily and tearfully, "Please let me alone, please!"

"Leah," I said softly, "Leah it's Bella. Can I talk to you?"

I waited.

Finally, I heard the lock disengaging, and Leah opened the door. Her face was red and blotchy, her eyes almost swollen shut from crying. The after effects of the sedative, made her look sleepy and disoriented. Her normally beautiful black hair was disheveled and wild. I couldn't help myself, I put my hand to her chin, and without warning, she threw herself into my arms.

She sobbed without stopping and I took her up in my arms and walked her to the bed closing the door behind us. I knew something more was going on with Leah, and I had to help her through it. Like Jacob, I just held her and let the tears run their course. It reminded me of all the tears I had cried over the last two years. I wondered how many more tears were going to be required for a happy-ending to our lives.

Eventually, I could feel Leah's body relaxing, and I knew at least for now she was done crying. I sat her on the bed next to me and took her hand.

I moved the hair from her face, looked into her red swollen eyes, and finally spoke. "I think I know what's going on Emily."

She said nothing.

"You feel guilty don't you?"

Her eyes spilled a few reserve tears as she nodded. "So do I Leah."

She looked surprised as I nodded my head and said, "I felt like it was entirely my fault that they came here. That if I hadn't convinced them to come, they might be alive right now. And they might be, but then everyone at La Push and Forks might end up being killed. We all had to come Leah, and face this enemy. I know I will miss them, but I can't carry their deaths on my shoulders Leah. And neither should you."

"But it's not the same Bella," she finally said miserably. "It's not their deaths I feel guilty about, it's how I treated them while they were alive. I was so angry at Sam and Emily for so long." She said. "I actually thought I hated them for betraying me." She looked like she was confessing to their murder.

"I knew they couldn't help it, especially after I phased for the first time. But I _wanted_ to be angry at them, and I wanted to make everyone miserable, the pack included." She put her face in her hands and continued. "It wasn't until Jacob and I…saw each other that way, that I understood, and that I was really happy for them. But it all happened so fast; Jacob and me, our coming up here. I never even got a chance to apologize Bella. I was so looking forward to us becoming close again; Emily and me becoming like sisters again…and now they're gone Bella, they're gone and I can never make it right! I can never tell them how sorry I am, and how much I loved them! How can I ever be happy now, knowing that, how?!"

Having no tears left, she sobbed dry, heaving sobs, and buried herself in my arms. I gave her a minute, and then I lifted her chin and said, "Leah, they knew how hard it was for you, and they did understand what you were going through, especially Emily." She began to shake her head no, but I stopped her. "Listen to me Leah, Jacob said that somehow Emily and Sam knew this would happen." She nodded in acknowledgement. "Emily knew, and she made me promise to help you and Jacob through this. She made me promise because she loves you Leah. She was so happy for you and Jake, and she wanted you to _be_ happy. She sent me to take care of you, because she wanted you to know it was ok, and because she knew how much I love Jake; and how much I would love those that he loves. She wanted you to know that she loves you, and there is nothing to feel guilty for, or to make right. You need to be happy Leah, for the life and love Emily and Sam shared; for all that they did for your people, and especially for you and Jacob. Honor them by being happy and remembering them."

Leah's expression was starting to change a little.

I went on, "Jake is so upset for you Leah, and he feels helpless. He needs all his strength now to lead the pack and the rest of your people. He needs you to help him be strong, and to keep him centered. You know how crucial you are to each other. I know you're desperate to be with him right now, aren't you?"

She nodded, a look of longing coming over her.

"He has that same desperation. He wants to hold you and make you feel better, but he's afraid that you don't want him. He has so much responsibility on his shoulders now, and he feels unprepared. I told him that Carlisle, Edward and I will help, but that help will mean nothing to Jake without you. You are my best friend's best friend, his partner, his soul mate: I want you to be happy as much as I want it for Jacob. Forgive yourself if you feel you need forgiving, only honor Emily and Sam's sacrifice by living happily ever after for them. That's what they wanted, that's what they wanted you to know.

Leah looked at me astonished at first and then her face seemed to relax. She smiled a small timid smile, and said, "Now I know why Jacob loved you so much Bella. I never understood it until now. Thank you so much for you friendship, and your kindness. I will never forget it Bella, never." I returned her smile and stroked her hair. I could see the old Leah coming back. She gave me a hug and wiping the tears from her face said, "I need to talk to Jacob. How do I look?"

I gave her a half smile and squinted a little, and said, "Mmmm…well, remember now, you've been crying all night, and you've been drugged. So you don't look the greatest, but somehow just knowing you're going to be ok, I don't think Jacob will care. Why don't you go take a shower and I'll go get Jacob ok?"

"Ok _Bells_," she said emphasizing Jacob's nickname for me, and off she ran to the bathroom. As she ducked in the door and I went to leave, I had a realization; I had been with Leah, in close contact with her, and had no reaction whatsoever to her blood! I hadn't heard the voice, or felt the thirst, I hadn't had any problem at all. I smiled and hoped it was a sign of things to come, rather than just a fluke.

As I went to get Jacob, thinking about my successful encounter with Leah, I remembered Emily's last words to me… "_for your promise._" I thought, _I'll do my best to keep it Emily, I'll always do my best!_

As I walked into the main room of the lodge, I felt a thrill of relief as I saw the pack, and especially my family. Alice ran smack into my arms, "Bella! There you are. Are you ok now? We were worried about you. How is Leah, Jacob said you went to talk to her. Carlisle had to give her a sedative you know."

"Yes Jacob told me. Speaking of Jacob Alice…" Jacob was already making his way over. His eyes were insane with worry. I released myself from Alice, and gave Jacob a hug and said, "She's waiting for you Jake."

His eyes got cautiously bright. "She's ok, really Bells?"

"Well, I don't think she's shed all her tears for Emily and Sam, but she's fine Jake. She loves you, and she needs you. So don't keep her waiting."

"Bells," he said hugging me tightly, "You're the best!" Then he kissed me on the lips in front of everyone, and ran off to go to Leah. I blushed of course, and looked over at Edward who was standing with his hands crossed in front of him, and a look that demanded an explanation. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders. "I made him happy," I said in a innocent voice.

His crooked smile finally made its way onto his face, and he rolled his eyes.

I turned my attention back to Alice who was laughing. "Saw that coming," She trilled. "That is to say, I saw it in his eyes," She added laughing at her own joke.

"Oh, thank you so much for the warning!" I teased. "How is Jasper?" I asked.

"He's great," Jasper's voice sang out from behind me. He gave me a hug and said, "Perfect Bella, it was perfect."

"Not all of it Jasper," I said, remembering Sam and Emily.

Jasper obviously saw the sadness on my face.

"We're all upset about their loss" he said, "It's the worst part of war, Bella, the worst part by far. But you know, Robert E. Lee once said, '_So fully am I satisfied of this that I would have cheerfully lost all that I have lost by the war, and have suffered all that I have suffered to have this object attained_.' Of course, he was referring to the abolition of slavery, but I think we can apply it to the survival of our families. I am so sad to lose Sam and Emily Bella, but to know that all that people at La Push and Forks, and our family will survive, makes it a little easier to bear the sadness. And _no one_ would have been saved if it wasn't for you little sister. You literally saved us all."

Although I had heard everything Jasper said, after he quoted Robert E. Lee, I had a vision in my head of a battlefield after the battle had ended. Blue and grey uniforms dotted the field. There were screams and moans from almost every direction, and blood! The blood was everywhere, oozing, spreading out from the bodies. Some of it was cold, but some was warm and sweet smelling, and calling to…me…no…Aro! More of _his_ memories.

"Bella?" Jasper said. "Are you ok? You look sort of out of it."

I had to come up with an explanation. I wasn't sure whether or not to share the _gift _Aro gave me just yet. "Thanks Jasper, sorry, I'm fine." I said. "I was just thinking about history, you know the civil war. It was that quote that did it. I guess I haven't been out of high school long enough." I laughed lightly, which seemed to satisfy Jasper. "And I know you're right about Sam and Emily," I continued quickly, "I just need a few days to see it that way. As for the rest of it though, it was a group effort, don't forget that."

Jasper nodded, and took Alice's hand. Alice smirked, and said, we should talk later huh?

I nodded. I didn't know if she saw through my ruse, but I wasn't going to find out now.

I found my way into arms of Esme and Carlisle. "Thank you for our family," Carlisle said. I just smiled. I had no words for the joy I felt that my family had survived.

Esme kissed my cheek and said, "I'm so glad you're alright Bella. And I too am grateful to you for all of our lives, thank you sweetheart."

I couldn't imagine a kinder creature in all the world than Esme. As I held her, I thought I understood Robert E. Lee's quote.

I hugged Rosalie and then Emmet, who of course had to use the moment to comment. "So," he chuckled, you took out Felix, huh?" Would have liked to have seen that.

"Would you?" I said suggestively.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked with excitement in his eyes.

"I seem to recall someone mentioning the two of us arm wrestling."

"That's right! Well, how about it Bells, as soon as we get home?"

"You're on," I said.

He just stood with a smile on his face, and I had to laugh. Emmet was one of the most genuine people I ever met. I was so glad to see him standing there, smiling. And seeing Rosalie at his side meant that all was right in their world, and it helped alleviate some of the sadness in mine.

I joined Edward who had been speaking with Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. Kate had had some narrow escapes during the battle. In fact she had almost been killed, but out of nowhere Irina had intervened and given her life defending Kate. I could see the immense sadness on their faces, and it brought my own back to me.

I had to leave them with some comfort though; I felt it was the right thing to do. "I'm so sorry about Irina," I said. "I wish she could have survived to go home with you."

The three looked at me with surprise, and gratitude. Finally, Eleazar spoke. "Thank you Bella. It is so generous of you to say that, especially after what Irina did to you. We thought it too much to hope you would forgive her, but we hoped at least there might be peace between our families if she did come home."

"I would have gladly forgiven her Eleazar, and hoped that we could be friends some day. I am sorry she and I will never get that chance, but I hope those of us that remain will be friends, and more than that, family. I feel that way towards you all already, and I hope the feeling is returned."

Kate walked over to me and kissed my cheek, and said, "Our sister, now and always."

"Thank you, all of you, so much." I said.

Edward leaned down and kissed me, and whispered, "Thank you for that. It means so much to them and me."

It was another moment that I was glad that Edward couldn't read my thoughts. I had to be honest; I wasn't sure if I would have been able to forgive Irina really. I knew I would have tried if she'd lived though. I was truly sorry for her family, and I hoped our friendship would somehow ease their pain.

Next Edward and I went to see how the pack was doing. All of them were somber, and seemed unusually quiet. I knew that they were feeling the loss of Sam and Emily acutely. As I approached them, and saw the sadness on their faces, my tears returned. They were not the deluge they had been, but slow and constant, like the grief I was still dealing with. Paul, Embry and Quill, each took their turn hugging me, and saying it was ok. But I knew they were being brave, and that each of them would suffer for the loss of their leader. I knew that Jacob would prove the Alpha that he was, but Sam was more than a leader. He was a friend, a brother. He had shown these boys how to be what they were, how to channel the heritage of the wolf to the greater good of their people. They all felt lost without him, and I didn't blame them. Emily had been a mother to them all, and the loss of her easy going manner, her sweet concern for all of them would leave an empty place in all of their hearts. Seth and Caleb looked especially miserable, and my heart melted for them. I took them both in my arms and held on tight. They returned my embrace, and we stood together the three of us. We had survived Demetri together, and I knew we would always be close.

"You were both so brave, I am so proud of you both," I said. They both just shook their heads, as the tears fell. "Sam would be proud of you too. He would have told you if he could, so I'm telling you for him."

Their faces though still awash with pain and sorrow, took on a strange look of pride.

"Seth" I said, "you saved me from Demetri. He would have certainly killed me when I sprung at him. Thank you my friend."

Edward added, "You saved the most important thing in my world Seth, and I will call you my friend and my brother for eternity. If you ever need me, or anything from me, you only need to ask."

As Edward shook his hand it was all too much for Seth, and he ran outside in tears. Edward looked at me with a look of understanding, and said, "I'm going after him alright Bella?"

"Take care of him," I said nodding.

"And you…"I said turning to Caleb. "You saved us all Caleb."

"Not all of us Miss Bella." He said in his cherub voice, now bathed in sorrow.

"All of us that could be saved Caleb." I took his face in my hands and continued. "Sam was gone Caleb, and Emily sacrificed herself to give you the opportunity to do what was necessary to save the rest of us."

"But how did she know I would…"

I cut him off. "Who was left? It was obvious, I wasn't skilled enough to take him down, and Seth was too injured at the time. She knew Caleb, she knew. Demetri would have finished all of us, if it hadn't been for you. You were so brave, and you knew exactly when to strike. It was your destiny to be there, and to save us Caleb. And I am so honored to have you as my friend, and as my family. You will always be welcomed in our home. I am relying on you to help Jacob with the pack. He is under a lot of pressure now being the Alpha, and he'll need a strong man to help. He'll have the others yes, but he'll need someone who is brave and smart. And that's you Caleb. And your younger brothers, Brady, Collin and Zachary, will need someone to look up to. You'll need to help them to become real protectors like you."

His eyes were still teary, but he smiled and said, "Thanks Miss Bella, for believing in me, for giving me a chance to help."

"It was your destiny Caleb, it wasn't me. And it's Bella ok?"

"OK! Bella." He said with a grin.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, which blushed a beautiful pink.

"Hey," he said more animated, "Jacob's bringing Leah down."

I turned to see Jacob and Leah coming towards us. Leah's face was less sad, and beautiful. I could tell by Jacob's relieved face that the reunion was already easing their sorrow. I knew they would be ok.

I met them and hugged them both. Edward had since brought back a considerably more composed Seth, who hurried to embrace his sister. He had worried about Leah, and on top of his sorrow, it was almost too much to bear.

"Leah are you ok?" Seth asked with concern.

"Leah stroked his cheek and said, "I'm fine Seth, really, you don't have to worry about me brother."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure; I just needed to get some things worked out in my head." She gave me a nod, and I returned it.

I looked up at Jacob who looked at me with such appreciation, that I couldn't help but hug him. I looked back at Leah and she only smiled.

After I had connected with everyone, and made sure everyone was intact, I asked Edward if we could go to our room and talk for a while before we left. I decided I needed to let him know about what had happened with Aro.

I sat on the bed, and motioned for him to sit by me. "I need to tell you something Edward."

"Should I be worried?" He asked warily.

"No, at least I don't think so."

"Ok, I'm listening."

"Yes, but I think rather than telling you, I think I'll need to show you."

"How…exactly…do you plan on showing me?" He asked with interest.

"Lie down with me."

"I like it already," he said with more than a little inference, and pulling me down with him.

"Edward, I'm serious."

"So am I," he said, "I've missed you Bella.

I looked into his eyes, full of passion and fire, and I couldn't deny him at least a few moments of the passion I had locked away. It had only been a couple of days, but it had been too long for both of us. I kissed him passionately and longingly, tangling my fingers in his bronze hair, and allowing him the passion he wanted. He caressed my face, and then my shoulders. Then his hands dropped lower to my waist pulling me closer. I wanted to give myself over to him, but I knew I needed to show him the _gift_ Aro had given me. He began to kiss my neck, and collarbone, and I found it hard to focus. When he started to unbutton my shirt, I knew I had to stop him, though I didn't want to. "Edward…I…please listen to me."

"What is it love?" He said still kissing me.

"I …need…."

"So do I" he said as he kissed me with increasing passion.

It would have been so easy to lose myself in his embrace, to erase away the pain and sorrow of the last few days, to forget Sam and Emily. I wanted to forget, but I couldn't, I wouldn't. I would always keep them in my heart and memory, it was the only way to keep them real in my mind. But Edward had been so patient with all of my emotional ups and downs, and absences. But I was certain I needed to show him what Aro had left in my mind before we left for home. He was insistent now, and I didn't have the heart to stop him. I decided I would just show him, so as he concentrated on me, I concentrated on him, and with no effort at all I was falling and I stopped. I didn't open my eyes, I knew I would have seen myself, and it would have been too weird. I spoke to him. _"Edward?"_

"_**What?! Bella, what are you…did you just do what I think you did?**_

"_I couldn't get your attention any other way. You always said you wished you knew what I was thinking, well here your chance."_

"_**Bella this is amazing!"**_

"_I'm glad you like it Edward, but I did want to show you something."_

"_**Alright love, show me."**_

I concentrated, and allowed the millennia of memories that Aro had given me to replay for Edward.

It was still overwhelming and, I remembered how it felt when Aro first downloaded everything to my mind. I let Edward share all that Aro had shared with me. It was a like a video playing at an insanely fast speed; places, and people, human history as well as vampire. Finally, when the memories had run their course, I released Edward, and opened my eyes. I was looking at his face, his eyes were staring into mine, with wonder.

"Bella I have never experienced anything like that, in all my years, in all the thoughts I've read, I've never seen the depths of memory and experience that I've just witnessed."

"I know Edward. I don't know why he passed it to me. Why did he do that do you think?"

I'm not sure Bella. Maybe it was a way for him to leave something of himself behind. Perhaps we will never know. Of course it does give you several thousand years of history to think about."

"How will I ever find my way through it all?"

"I'll be here whenever you care to share it with me Bella."

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

"I'm not sure about that either Bella, but we'll figure it out."

We heard a rap on the door. "It's Carlisle, Edward said.

I sat up and was about to get the door when Edward stopped me. He reached for the buttons on my shirt, and I was afraid he was going to pick up where he left off, but instead of un-buttoning my shirt, he buttoned it back up.

"You really didn't want to open the door in that condition did you?" He was practically laughing, and I couldn't help smiling.

"Thanks for saving me the embarrassment of having to explain to Carlisle."

"You're welcome; now don't you think you should open the door?"

I opened the door and Carlisle entered.

"We have everything back in place, and the cars are ready to go," He said.

"What about Sam and Emily?" I asked.

"I've spoken to Jacob Bella, and he is not only willing to grant Emily's request, he is actually relieved not to have to leave them behind. I have done my best to prepare their bodies, but we'll need to do more when we get back to Carmen's. And we've called ahead to anchorage, and arranged caskets to be waiting for us there.

I closed my eyes against more tears for Sam and Emily, and was able to suppress them.

"How is Leah doing now?" I asked distracting myself.

"She is still grieving Bella, but she is much better since your talk with her. I'm sure Jacob is most appreciative. We all are Bella."

"I'm just happy that everyone else is safe Carlisle."

"That is a relief and a blessing Bella. Now, we really need to be vacating the lodge, so you should put this room back in order. And then we need to talk about a trip to Italy."

"_ITALY_?" Edward and I said in unison.

"Yes of course. You remember your agreement with Aro Bella.?"

"I do, but with everything that happened, and with Aro gone…I…well I guess it just got pushed to the back of my mind."

"Aro may be gone, but your vision of governing our kind is a good one Bella. One that I would very much like to see come to fruition. In any case, we cannot have a society without some semblance of order. There are still the issue of wars, rogues and newborns. Teaching our way of life could very well reduce the occurrences of war if more of our kind embraces it. We must decide how to proceed. We must assemble those of our society willing to come, and explain what we are intending to do, and we must do this soon or there will be anarchy. With the masters and their commanders gone, we must present our case in the seat of power in the vampire world, Volterra. We must decide how we will oversee all of this; we should have a panel of governors or judges if you will, that will be called upon to make decisions should the need arise. I believe the panel will should meet in Volterra occasionally to discuss the progression of our society. I have asked Alice, Jasper, Eleazar and Carmen, if they would be part of that panel, and they have agreed. I would like to ask you Edward, and you Bella, if you would also be on the panel."

Edward looked very humbly at Carlisle and said, "I would be honored Carlisle."

I suddenly felt very much like a fish out of water. My plan for the battle we just fought came to me from the desperation of not wanting to lose my family. But to help govern the entire vampire world? I thought about the wise and caring individuals that made up the other six members of the panel, all with either wisdom or unique abilities. I knew that the number was not random; seven individuals mean that there would always be a majority when deciding on issues. I thought of myself with the others, and I felt sorely lacking. What could I bring to the panel that would be of use?

"Bella," Carlisle asked bringing me back to attention, "are you willing to be on our panel?"

"Carlisle…I…I would be very happy to help in anyway I can, but what can I bring to the panel? You are all so wise, and experienced, and you have such a capacity for looking at an issue without losing your head. Look at me, I've been almost insane in the last few days, and I'm emotional, and rash, and I still cry for goodness sake! What if I become an emotional basket case again or…"

"Bella," Carlisle interrupted, "You have been all those things yes, but you have also showed great clarity of thinking when it was needed most. You have shown a great ability to operate under pressure. Moreover, you have a profound sense of forgiveness in you that will be sorely needed in our decisions. You Bella, I believe, will be one of the most significant parts of our panel."

I stood looking down, shaking my head a little. I still thought it was ridiculous to have someone like me on the panel. I was still ruminating on the idea when Edward spoke up.

"And you do have one thing that the rest of us don't."

Carlisle and I both looked at him as he continued; "You have three thousands years worth of memories to aid us in our decisions. Information about individuals and outcomes of wars; and strategies that were successful in thwarting those wars, and in the apprehension of renegades. You have vital information and insight on how to use it."

"What do you mean Edward?" Carlisle asked.

Edward explained to Carlisle the gift that Aro had left me; and how I had shown it to him. I looked at Edward wide eyed, but realizing that there was actually truth to what he had said. He smiled warmly at me, triumphant, knowing he had convinced me.

"Bella" Carlisle said with enthusiasm, "that is remarkable! Do realize what an incredible legacy Aro left with you? It gives us an incredible tool with which to govern. I wonder if at some point you might be willing to share it with me?"

"Whenever you like Carlisle," I said. "And I will be on the panel."

"It's settled then," Carlisle said. "We will take Sam and Emily home, and then head for Italy. May we use your plane again?"

"You don't even need to ask," Edward answered.

Carlisle left the room to let us put it in order. Edward had a disappointed look on his face.

"What?" I asked, "What's wrong?"

"He took me up in his arms "I guess picking up the honeymoon where we left off will have to wait?"

I looked into his eyes and said, "We don't need Alaska for that Edward. It's a honeymoon whenever I'm in your arms."

He ran the back of his fingers along my jaw line, and just smiled. We both knew we had eternity to spend on our honeymoon.

We left the Backcountry Lodge as we had found it. For my shirt and jeans, the few borrowed sheets we used to wrap Sam and Emily's bodies, we left a large amount of cash in the gift shop cash register. The hummers were filled, and we were off. Our first stop of course was Carmen's home. We waited a couple of hours for Sam and Emily's caskets to arrive, brought by a couple of mortuary hearses to carry them back to the Anchorage airport. Carlisle, Edward and Esme took care of everything from bathing and clothing them, to placing them in the caskets. Jacob also insisted on helping, feeling it was his responsibility as the pack leader. He refused to let Leah in watch, and she did not put up an argument. Instead, she sat with Alice and me waiting for them to finish.

I of course wanting to make sure she wouldn't ruminate too much about Emily, got her into a conversation that I truly believed one day she would get me back for.

"Leah," I said casually, "I know you haven't had time to really think about it, but when are you and Jake planning on getting married?"

Alice's posture became immediately animated, and she listened like a kid about to find out what they got for Christmas.

"Well…ah…" Leah stammered, "I wasn't sure if it would be right now to get married right away. I mean with Emily and Sam."

I could see her eyes tearing up. I put my arm around her and reminded her, "Emily wanted you to be happy remember? She wouldn't want you to wait too long. She would want you to become Jacob's wife as soon as possible."

She nodded and wiped the few escapees from her eyes, and said, "Well, I guess after the services for Sam and Emily. We have to arrange for the Ceremony and the feast afterward."

"So are you having an all Quileute wedding?" Alice asked with an insinuating inflection in her voice.

Leah looked at me with a worried smile; I just shrugged my shoulders and said laughing, "It's up to you whether or not to answer her."

Alice stuck her tongue out at me while waiting for Leah's answer.

Finally, Leah answered, "Well, Jacob and I were actually talking about it while we were patrolling the lake. We were trying to keep each other calm I think. Anyway, we would like a traditional Quileute ceremony for the sake of the tribe and the old folks, and then after the feast, have something a little more modern for the younger crowd; maybe a DJ and dancing or something. Of course there really isn't anyplace to do that at La Push."

"Leave it to me!" Alice sang. "I know just what we'll do. You'll have to give me all the low down on the ceremony. You know how long, what sort of food, dress, everything! Then we'll bring in a tent like we did for Bella and Edward. I'm sure I can get the same DJ, he was fantastic, and we'll have some more food and drink too; oh, and a cake of course."

Leah looked a little worried and said, "That all sounds wonderful Alice, but it sounds like it would take a lot of money, and…"

I held my hand up, knowing how futile it was to talk about money with any of the family. "Leah," I said matter-of-factly, "we probably have more money than the national debt, so don't even worry about it. Consider it part of our wedding gift."

"That's right, a wedding gift," Alice agreed quickly.

"Part?" Leah asked.

"Well, let's just say I want to give you and Jacob something a little more personal than a DJ; something from Edward and I."

"Thanks you guys," Leah said.

Alice was in her "Wedding planner mode, so I took her aside, and said, "We shouldn't go crazy until after the funeral for Sam and Emily."

"Of course Bella," Alice said. "I know how hard this is for Leah and Jacob. But keeping her mind occupied with my craziness, is just what she needs right now." Alice gave me a knowing look that made me feel a bit silly to have worried about it. One thing I knew about my family, is that they all had a great depth of empathy, and compassion. I should have known Alice would try to help Leah at the same time as fulfilling her need to plan.

I just hugged her and said, "Sorry Alice, you know how dense I can be sometimes."

"It just makes me love you more," she teased.

As the three of us continued to prattle on about the wedding plans, The garage doors opened and the two hearses pulled slowly out, and left for Anchorage. Jacob walked slowly out, followed by Carlisle, Esme and Edward. As I looked at Jacob, he looked so tall, and regal. He held his head high, and though his face was pained, he had a look of determination. I had never seen such focus on Jacob's face, not even before the battle with Victoria, when I begged him to come back; when I kissed him to give him a reason to come back. Those memories used to be a source of intense mental pain for me, when I agonized over Jacob's happiness. Now with Leah at his side, that pain was gone, and only my hopes for their happiness together remained. Looking at him now, I had no doubt that he would not only be happy, but would be the strong leader the pack and the Quileute people needed. I also knew, I would always consider him my best friend, and would always help him however I could.

Leah ran to meet him, and threw her arms around him. He picked her up and held her, while arm in arm Alice and I watched.

We drove back down to Anchorage, to the airport where our plane was ready. Eleazar, Carmen and Kate, once again accompanied us, as they would to Volterra. Emily and Sam had already been loaded, and the rest of us boarded. The flight was very quiet, as the grief of their death was still fresh, and there was the funeral to face when we got home. The other obvious reason, was that the Quileutes from a combination of battle and grief had not gotten much rest in the preceding two days. All of them were sleeping within minutes of taking off. The rest of us, gathered in the front of the passenger lounge and talked quietly. I asked Edward how Jacob had handled it when they took care of Emily and Sam.

"He was stoic, Bella. I could tell he was hurting, but he never faltered. He helped us clean Sam up, wrap him and put him in the casket. He was so respectful of Sam; he took his hand and held it for a few moments, and then nodded for us to close the casket.

He waited until Esme had Emily cleaned and wrapped and in her casket. He did the same for Emily, holding her hand and saying goodbye. He's a very good man Bella, I think I understand why it was so easy for you to love him. He would have made you hap…"

I stopped Edward with my hands on his lips and said, "Thank you for saying that about Jacob, but no references to that part of the past. Jacob has Leah, I have you, and we shouldn't dwell on any other reality. You are the best man I have ever known Edward, my husband, my true love, and Jacob is the best friend I could have ever asked for. That is my reality, and the way it was always meant to be, and the only one I want."

"You're right of course Bella, but I admire him, and I wanted you to know."

I kissed Edward and leaned against his chest, and just enjoyed being with him without fear of destruction over our heads.


	26. Charlie

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

26. Charlie

After about two hours in the air, the captain announced we would be landing at the airport in Port Angeles in a few minutes. Everyone was awake and ready to get back home. There was the sad task of Sam and Emily's funeral to deal with, and then a trip to Italy. Beyond that however, was a very happy event, Jacob and Leah's wedding. I was happy and excited for them, and I couldn't wait to see my friend marry his true love. Though it was almost evening, it was a sunny day in Port Angeles, so our family would have to wait until the sun was completely down before we exited the plane. Jacob and the Quileutes wanted to go on and take Sam and Emily home. We said temporary goodbyes, and promised to see them the next day. Before they left, Leah asked me to step into the bedroom for a moment.

After I closed the door she said, "Bella, even though our ceremony isn't the traditional wedding, I would be so happy if you would be my maid of honor. I was going to ask Emily…" She stopped with a small hitch in her voice. I simply hugged her and said, "I would be so honored Leah."

She looked at me and smiled, and said, "Now I know it will be perfect."

"Just like you and Jacob," I said.

We joined the others back in the passenger cabin. As Leah returned to Jacob's side, I reached up and gave him a hug and said, we'll see you tomorrow ok?"

"He grabbed me up in a firm hug and said, "Thanks Bells. Love you."

As he and Leah headed out the door I asked, "Look in on Charlie for me ok?" He nodded and they left.

We all took a seat, and waited the 20 minutes it took for the sun to disappear behind the horizon. From the plane window, I watched it set the water and sky ablaze in brilliant oranges, reds and magentas. I felt a sense of well being I hadn't had in a very long time. As I watched the last flicker of the sun's fire go out, Edward's arms surrounded me from behind. I turned to face him and saw a similar fire in his eyes. He kissed me fervently, happy that I didn't need a break to breathe. As usual, the family politely ignored us and carried on a casual conversation. I tangled his bronze locks around my fingers thought of nothing but the sweetness of his breath. I drank it in, and wanted more. I wasn't comfortable enough to make use of our bedroom with the family here in the next room. But I looked forward to getting home to our house in Forks.

As we came up for air, metaphorically speaking, Edward, his eyes tightly closed whispered with a heavy voice, "would it be ridiculously insensitive of me considering the circumstances, to say it's been too long?"

"No," I said my voice betraying my need for him, "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Well, the sun's down," he replied, "and it's only 30 minutes to home if I drive." He had a mischievous look on his face, and I abruptly moved away from him, grabbed his hand and headed for the door. As we exited, I looked over my shoulder at the rest of the family and said, "Let's go home, Edward is driving!"

Edward laughed all the way to the car.

During the drive home, I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward. It had not been that long since we had made love, but we never been with each other without the threat of danger looming over our heads. It was like going back to the beginning, to our fist night together. It filled us both with excitement and anticipation, and it made the short time it took Edward to drive home seem incredibly long. Edward looked at me from time to time, his crooked grin on his face, but he kept his eyes mostly on the road. I assumed it was to keep a small amount of privacy over our intentions, from Alice, Jasper, and Kate in the back seat. Thinking about it, I knew it was probably a futile attempt. He did hold my hand, the entire way, bringing it to his lips every so often. As we neared Forks, Edwards sat phone rang. He reluctantly released my hand so he could answer. Smiling as he answered, he said, "Hello, oh hi Jacob. Glad you all got home safely, we…" Edwards smile quickly disappeared and was replaced by a strange apprehensive look. He looked at me almost without looking at the road at all. I had a sinking feeling, at his stare, and waited to hear whatever bad news he had to tell me. Suddenly Alice gasped, and I knew it was bad news…of course!

"Yes Jacob, yes I understand. No I'll tell her, yeah same here, thanks Jacob. See you tomorrow."

Edward slowed the car and pulled over to a stop. The others following us did the same with their cars and waited to see what the problem was. Edward looked at me with concern, and took both my hands.

"What is it…Edward? What, please tell me!"

"Bella, it's Charlie"

My mind went blank, and my heart felt like it stopped!

"No, Edward," I whispered, "please tell me he's ok, please!"

"Bella, he's fine sweetheart, really."

I felt a small amount of relief wash over me, and asked, "What about Charlie then?"

"He knows, Bella, he knows everything."

"What do you mean he knows?"

"He knows about us, about the pack, about you Bella, he knows about you!"

"Edward…how…did…he…how could he know?!"

"Billy Black told him Bella, he told him everything."

I could hardly think a coherent thought. I knew that Billy had been one of the biggest opponents of Edward's and my relationship early on. But we were married, there was peace with the Quileutes, and Jacob and Leah had found each other. I was incredulous.

"Why, Edward, after the wedding, and Jacob coming home, and, and everything, why would he tell him now, why?!" I could feel the anger, the fear, and the tears all at once. "How could he do that!" I finally yelled. "Why would he want to hurt Charlie and me like this? What was he thinking?"

"Bella," Edward said gently, trying to calm me, "he did it for a good reason."

"A good reason, what good reason could he possibly have Edward?"

"Where were we for the last two days Bella? How good were the chances that any of us would return? We all know the answer to that now don't we? He felt he needed to tell Charlie where you were, in case we didn't make it. He made a difficult choice, Bella, but he did it out of concern for Charlie."

I sat silent for a few minutes as the tears slide down my face. I tried to absorb the idea of Charlie knowing what I was now, and what the rest of the family was.

"How did Jacob say he took it? Did he talk to him?"

"No," Edward answered with a strained voice, and I knew there was more. I looked at him waiting for, but not really wanting to know the rest.

"He's waiting for us at home."

I suddenly felt sick; I could not imagine how I would face him, or how to talk to him about it. I knew it would be the hardest conversation of my life, and I had no idea what Charlie's reaction would be.

"What am I going to say to him Edward? How can he possibly understand, how will ever forgive me?"

Alice, Jasper and Kate had been painfully silent in the back seat during the whole conversation. Finally Alice spoke.

"He'll be very angry Bella," she said, "at first. But I think it will be ok Bella."

"You think?" I asked miserably.

"Remember Bella, he's involved with Sue Clearwater, so I can't always see him. But as far as I can see, it's going to be ok Bella; Charlie will be ok."

I looked at Alice through tears, and asked, "You're not holding anything back right?"

"I'm telling you everything I see Bella."

I broke down a bit and cried for the scene I knew I was about to have with my father.

Edward pulled me onto his lap and whispered, "No matter what Bella, I will be with you. Remember, Charlie loves you as much as you love him. He may not be happy at first, but he will always love you, and he'll get around this."

"And you'll go with me?" I asked in a cowardly fashion.

"Of course Bella, I won't leave you. Besides, it's probably a good idea…you know…just in case."

I hadn't even thought of that. I hadn't even worried about Charlie's blood tempting me. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. Oh my God Edward, Charlie, what if…if…"

Edward stopped me and said, "I only mentioned that out of caution Bella. You've had incredible control almost since your change. I really don't think it will be a problem. Look at your control with Emily. I know no one has said anything to you about it, you were so upset, but it was phenomenal that you could hold her like that and not lose control. You love Charlie Bella, you won't hurt him, I know you won't. Let's go face him together."

I nodded, and climbed back into my seat, and we were off. Ten minutes later we were pulling up the house. Sure enough, Charlie's cruiser was parked, and he was leaning on it, waiting for us. I looked at Edward who pulling the car to a stop, leaned over and kissed me, and got out. I suddenly felt panicked, but tried to ignore it. I turned around to Alice, Jasper and Kate and asked, "Give us a few minutes ok?"

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Don't worry Bella, you can handle it." I nodded and got out.

Charlie straightened up as Edward and I approached hand and hand. His face was hard and wary. He looked at me as though he didn't know me. He looked at Edward as though for the first time, scrutinizing his face, like he was sizing up a criminal.

We stopped a few feet away and Edward put his hand out to shake his hand and said, "Hi Charlie."

Charlie didn't return the gesture, or say a word, but settled his eyes on me. I could tell he was staring at the color of my eyes.

After a few moments of silent observation, Charlie finally said in a strained voice, "Edward I'd like to speak with my daughter…alone."

"That is up to Bella Charlie," Edward replied.

If looks could kill came to my mind when Charlie looked at Edward, and waited for my answer.

I knew Edward was concerned with my reaction to the blood in my father's veins. With Leah, I had felt the tingling, and the burning, and the voice awakening. With my father however, none of those things came. I was strangely unaffected by it.

"Bella?" Edward asked, as he looked me in the eyes for any signs of temptation.

"It's ok Edward," I said as calmly as I could, "I'm fine, and I want to talk to my father."

Edward nodded to Charlie, kissed my cheek, and said, "I'll be in the car with the others."

Charlie shot daggers into Edward's back as he walked back to the car. Then he turned his stare back to me.

His face softened a bit, and he said, "Well I guess I should have known….damn it Bella! How could I have known? I can't even believe it! Is it really true? Are you a…are they… vamp…? God! I can't even say it! Bella, is it true?"

All I could do was nod. I had no idea how to have this conversation with Charlie.

"And you drink bl…blo…well you know?"

"Yes Charlie, I do."

He closed his eyes, and shook his head.

"But I eat regular food too."

He opened his eyes and asked, "So the rest of them, do they eat food?"

"No Charlie, only me. I'm sort of different from them. A hybrid Carlisle says."

He thought about it for a minute, and asked, "Why Bella, why on God's green earth would you choose to be a…a…"

"A vampire?" I finished his sentence.

He cringed at the word, and asked again, "Why Bella?"

"I love Edward Charlie, I have since the first minute I saw him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but, well, they…we don't age. It was the only way to be with him."

"So at eighteen, you just decided to give up your life and become one of the undead?"

"Charlie, it's not like that exactly. Besides, you know the Cullen's, you know how wonderful they are."

"I know they seem wonderful Bella, but they're…and now you're…I don't know how the hell to deal with this Bella! You're my daughter, and I love you, what am I supposed to do when someone disappears, just ignore it?"

I was confused. "Dad what are you talking about?"

"What do you think I'm talking about Bella? You're a vampire! There I said it! You drink blood, you kill…peop…you know what I'm saying Bella! I'm an officer of the law, I have to protect the people of Forks, it's my job, and my duty!"

"Dad what exactly did Billy tell you?"

"He said you were all vampires, and that you drink blood, and that you were going to fight a vampire war in Alaska, and that the boys went with you. He told me about the boys being some sort of werewolves. Even Sue told me that the kids, Seth and Leah were wolves too. I didn't believe any of it until Billy had that Brady kid change or shift or whatever the hell they call it; thought I'd have a heart attack! After that, I didn't want to hear anymore! I went home, and tried to figure out what happened to my world in the last two years." Charlie started pacing back and forth, hands on his hips. "I thought I had life pretty well figured, but you sure as hell blew that out of the water! Now I don't know what to think. And what about all those people we found murdered around La Push…I feel sick Bells. I don't know what I'm supposed to do?"

I could see the anguish in Charlie's face, and I could imagine his heart breaking, worried that my new family and I were all murderers.

"Dad," I asked, "Can you calm down enough to listen to me? Please Charlie, please listen to me."

Charlie stopped, took in a couple of deep breaths, leaned back against his cruiser, and said, "Ok Bella, I'm listening."

"Billy was correct, we do drink blood," Charlie cringed again, "We do drink blood, but only animal blood Dad…NOT human blood. Edward and the family had nothing to do with the people who were being killed around La Push."

Charlie looked at me, ruminating over what I'd said. His face relaxed a bit, and he seemed a bit relieved.

"So, none of you drink…"

"No, Charlie," I repeated, "NONE of us drink human blood.

"That at least is a relief." His mind switching gears, he continued, "So, this is what Edward, who loves you, wanted for you? This is the life…or whatever, he chose for you? Just because he wanted to live this way, why did he have to bring you into it?"

I could hear the bitterness in Charlie's voice, and I had to make sure he understood that this was my doing not Edward's.

"Dad, NONE of the Cullen's chose to be vampires, all of them were changed without their consent. I am the only one in the family that chose this life."

He looked skeptical.

"It's true Dad. Edward tried to talk me out of this, from the first moment I thought of it. Even after the wedding Dad, he was telling me I didn't have to do it, and if he could have, he would have found a way to keep me from doing it, even though it's better for him that I did. I wanted this Dad ok, I…chose…this."

Charlie gave me one of his, he knew me too well to doubt me looks, and said, "Ah god Bella, you did choose it didn't you?"

I just nodded and added, "And just so you know, if Edward hadn't changed me, I'd be dead right now. I would have had him do it anyway, but he did it when he did, to save my life."

I looked at my father, wanting so much to hug him, and know that I could still have him in my life. I had accepted losing Charlie from my life; a cost of being with Edward that I had been willing, if not happy to pay. But having him in front of me, I knew now that I couldn't imagine my life without him.

"Dad?" I said reaching out my arms to him.

Charlie's eyes filled with tears, he opened his arms, and said, "Come on Bells."

I rushed to his arms, forgetting my strength, and promptly knocked him over, catching him before he fell.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I wanted to tell you but I couldn't, not without putting you in danger."

"Damn Bells, "he said, "You're strong! And your cold, and well, sort of hard and ah…wait, what were you saying about danger Bella?"

I didn't want to upset him more; I was afraid to go on.

Sensing my reluctance to tell him Charlie said, "Bells, I just found out my daughter and her new family are vampires, and my fiancée's kids are werewolves, how much worse can it get?"

"What dad, what?! You're fiancée?! You asked Sue to…"

"Yeah, yeah," he said rubbing the tears from his eyes, "We'll talk all about that after you explain the whole danger thing."

I started from the beginning of my relationship with Edward, and the attack by James. I moved on to my trip to Italy to stop Edward from forcing the Volturi from destroying him when he thought I was dead. I told him about the war with Victoria, and it's connection with the murders around La Push. Then I told him about Irina's attack on me, and Edward having to change me to save me. Then finally, I told him about the battle in Alaska. Charlie listened without interrupting me. He was Chief Swan taking a witness's statement, nodding and shifting his eyes as though trying to visualize what I was saying.

Finally after I finished the events of the past two years and the odyssey of Edward's and my relationship, Charlie spoke. "So you went through all of this, to be with Edward?"

"I love him Charlie." It was all I could say.

"I guess you do Bells; you never have done anything half way, and I guess I owe him for saving your life…a lot. Well, I guess I should talk to my…son-in-law, why don't we get him."

"Just wait a second," I said. As soon as I was done speaking, Edward quickly walked up to Charlie and I.

Charlie looked a little confused.

Edward answered the questions in his eyes. "I can read people's thoughts Charlie."

"Uh huh," Charlie said nodding and looking Edward up and down. "Guess you know then this is not what I dreamed of for my daughter's future."

"I never wanted it for her Charlie," Edward answered. "But you know better than anyone how stubborn she is."

"I guess I can't deny that," Charlie laughed bitterly. "I always knew there was something…eh…different about you Edward."

"I'm sorry if I've hurt you Charlie, I never wanted to do that. I only wanted to be with Bella. I love her more than anything else, and I want you to know, that everything I said to you at the wedding, I meant every word of it."

"Well, Charlie said, "So I guess this means you won't have to leave the area quite a soon as you planned yes?"

Edward and I looked at each other shocked, and then back at Charlie.

"You knew we were leaving Charlie?" I said. "How long have you known?"

"Well I sort of just figured it out. I mean you said you don't age, so how long can you stay in one place before people start to notice? And since I'm guessing you weren't planning on telling me about any of this, you must not have intended on seeing me again, hmm? So, I assume you were going to leave pretty soon right? Sooner than you would have otherwise?"

Edward laughed, and said, "Well I can see where you get your talent at figuring things out Bella. You're pretty good Charlie."

"Hey…" Charlie laughed, "Police Chief, remember. They don't pay me the big bucks for nothin'."

It was a funny statement considering the meager pay my dad had been content to accept for his loyal services.

Charlie got suddenly very serious. He looked at Edward and said, "I want your word Edward that the people of Forks, La Push, and this entire area have nothing to fear from you and your family."

I knew at this point, Edward would tell Charlie the truth. There was no point not to.

"Charlie," he began, "I know Bella explained, that we don't drink human blood; we are what in our world are referred to as vegetarians."

"Yeah, go on." Charlie said without emotion.

"We hunt animals, but the call of human blood is still there for us."

"And just how strong would you say that call is Edward?"

Edward put his hand on Charlie's shoulder, and said, "I don't want you to worry Charlie, but I want to be completely honest with you. We have been here a long time Charlie, since before you were born. We have always made sure to do our best not to hurt humans. But it would be dishonest of me to tell you that there was absolutely no risk. Having said that, I speak for our entire family, and I give you my solemn promise, that we will not cause any harm to the people here, or anywhere else for that matter."

He looked at Edward with a face harder than I'd ever seen on Charlie as he asked, "And you think even with that risk, you can keep that promise?"

"I give you my word Charlie."

Charlie stood looking at Edward his face remained hardened, deciding whether or not to trust the vampire. Charlie was a very simple man, a regular Joe, he would say. His biggest loves in life besides me, and now Sue, were fishing, sports on TV and most importantly his job. He was fiercely dedicated to that job, and the people it was his job to protect. Forks, being a painfully quiet town, Charlie never had had to worry about much more than the occasional car or hunting accident. Very rarely, he might have to deal with a rogue grizzly attacking people. Since my relationship with Edward had begun, Charlie had seen more death in Forks than he'd seen in almost his entire career. Knowing there was now a potential deadly risk to his citizen's he was not going to be soft about it.

His face relaxed a bit, and he said, "Edward, Bells loves you; and she also trusts you. So I'm going to trust you. I hope you won't make me regret that trust?" He shook Edward's hand, and nodded. Then the entirety of Edward's statement dawned on him.

"Wait," he said, "You've been here since before I was born? How old are you Edward?"

"I was seventeen when I was changed."

"And how long have you been seventeen then?" Charlie pushed. Like daughter like father I thought.

Edward looked at me, obviously thinking the same thing, and smiled. "I was born in nineteen-O-one; I was changed in nineteen-eighteen."

"So you've been seventeen for eighty-nine years?!"

"Yes Charlie, that's correct."

"Well, I'll be damned," was all Charlie could manage.

Before Charlie could say anything else, Carlisle and Esme joined us.

"Hello Charlie," Carlisle said.

"Hey Doc," Charlie said. He still seemed to be comfortable with Carlisle, which made me feel better.

"You must be quite overcome with all of this Charlie."

"You have a talent for understatement Doc," Charlie said humorously.

"I know this isn't an easy thing to digest Charlie," Esme said.

"Well, yeah it's not the usual dilemma is it?"

"We are still the same family you met before Charlie," Carlisle said, "you just know…a little more about us now."

"Well, Edward's given me his word you're not a danger to the people here, so I guess that's good enough for me. I just gotta get used to idea of Bella's…ah…new…ah lifestyle choice."

"She is a comfort to us all Charlie," Esme said, putting her arm around my waist. "She's made Edward happier than he's ever been."

Charlie just shook his head and said, "I think it's gonna take me a long time to get used to this."

"Why don't you come inside," Esme said. "You must be hungry."

"Well," Charlie said, I could use a bite…I…I mean something to eat," he said uncomfortable with the word he'd used. "I ran out on Sue yesterday before she could feed me. Wait, a minute, do you…ah…have food?"

I couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Dad, remember I told you, I eat food? Come on let's eat."

After we got inside Esme whipped up a couple of sandwiches for Charlie and I. The rest of our family and Kate's, retreated upstairs, realizing Charlie could only take so much at one time.

As Charlie and I were eating, I reminded him to tell me the story of him and Sue. I knew it would be hard for Charlie; it was that whole less is more thing.

"Well, you know Bells after the wedding, Sue was so great about bringing over food for me. She knew that you did most of the cooking. And she knew what kind of cook I was, since I made the mistake of having her and Harry over for dinner a few years ago. She started bringing food for me more often, and I guess we both realized how much we liked being together. It was so hard for her after Harry. She was really lonely, even with the kids there. I was too, especially after you left. I never realized I was lonely until then. Anyway, she and I took a few walks at La Push, and around town, just talking. We went to Port Angeles for a couple of Movies. She actually went fishing once with me and Billy; she was a real sport about it. I know it's only been a few weeks Bells, but she really is wonderful, and I really love her. She feels the same way. She came over to make me dinner the other night, and I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. I'm really happy Bella, we both are."

After her finished telling his and Sue's story, he waited for my reaction.

"I could not be happier Charlie, for you and Sue. You two are perfect for each other. She is so down to earth and sweet, and you deserve someone who makes you happy, and so does she."

"Well," Charlie said, "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

"I think if you can accept my situation, there's no way I could complain about yours. I'm just happy I can share it with you Dad."

"Thanks Bells, it means everything to hear you say that. I have to admit it was a little difficult to hear about the wolf thing. She was worried I'd be angry at her for not telling me about it."

"She was just trying to protect the people she loves Charlie; her kids and you."

"Yeah, I know that, it was just so off the map, you know?"

"Dad you really need to go see Sue, she's probably miserable."

"You're probably right, but I'm glad we talked Bells, and I'm glad I haven't lost you. I will have to get used to those eyes, they really are different."

Charlie and I laughed, and then his face got serious again and he said, "Wait a minute, what are we supposed to tell your mom?"

I hadn't thought about Renée, in days. She too, was supposed to be gone from my life forever, and now I had the potential task of telling her my secret.

"For now, I don't think we should tell her anything Dad. She's preoccupied and happy with Phil, I think she'll be satisfied if I call her once and a while. I'm supposed to be away at school remember? If the day comes when I have to see her, hopefully by then I'll have a good explanation worked out."

Charlie didn't look happy. I knew he didn't like the idea of lying to my mother, especially after their parting on such good terms at our wedding. Nevertheless, he could see there was no other option at this point.

"I guess you're right; I'm not sure I even like knowing, but I like seeing you Bells, so that's that."

It was getting late, and I wanted dad to smooth things out with Sue, so I suggested he go see her while he had time.

"Yeah, you're right, I don't want her to stew all night over this." He said with concern.

"We'll see you tomorrow at the funeral right?"

I suddenly remembered despite my happiness at being with Charlie, there was a sad task the next day.

My voice obviously gave away my sadness. "Yes we'll be there Dad."

"It's such a shame about Sam and Emily; they were such nice people Bells, I'm so sorry they're gone."

"I know Dad, I was there when…" I felt the sadness over their death, coming back.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Bells, I wish you hadn't had to experience that."

Despite everything I had told him about that last two years, Charlie was still my dad wanting to protect me.

I hugged him, and said, "Thanks dad. Now go see Sue, and please tell her I said congratulations."

Charlie stood up and we walked to the front door. Charlie stopped and gave me a hug. "I'm glad I didn't lose you Bells. Promise me you'll keep me in the loop in your life ok?"

"It will be easier now Dad. I love you Charlie, and now that I know I can have you in my life, I'm not about to lose you."

Charlie just put his hand on my cheek and nodded. Edward came up behind us and held out his hand to Charlie again. This time Charlie not only shook Edward's hand, he pulled him into a hug and said, "Thanks for keeping Bells safe Edward…" Then he released him and added, "…and for giving me your word about…ah…the other thing."

Edward laughed a little and said, "You're welcome Charlie."

Charlie walked to the cruiser, waved goodbye and left.

As we closed the door, without a word about Charlie's visit, Edward spun me around and crushed his lips to mine. He ran his hands under the oversized flannel shirt, pulled his lips away and said, "Sorry, but I thought he'd never leave!"

Without letting me down Edward was flying up the stairs to our room. Without stopping we were on the bed and he was kissing me again with even more fervor. He stopped long enough to rasp out, "Bella, I've missed this, I've missed you!"

I said nothing but allowed all the passion I'd kept locked away in Denali, wash over me, and onto him. I returned every kiss with as much passion as he gave it. Like on the plane, I drank in the sweet fragrance of his breath again, which sent fire through my veins. His hands gently caressed my throat and my shoulders, but when they reached the buttons on my shirt, they moved ferociously to remove it. I returned in kind with his, and we spent the night caressing, wrestling and exploring each other. There was nothing I could compare to the way we made love that night; his lips on mine, his hands everywhere at once and his eyes. His eyes like the sunset, amber and gold fire, held me in a trance the whole night. Every feeling, every physical response was heightened and intensified as I looked into his eyes. I was pulled into his stare and lost myself, I never wanted to be found.


	27. Memoriam and the Monster

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

27. Memoriam and the Monster

Edward and I lay still in each other's arms when the pale light of daybreak was approaching. There was no color in the dawn, it would be a typically overcast Forks day. I began to get up to look at the approaching day, when two strong arms prevented me.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked burying his face in my hair, and kissing my neck.

I would have gladly stayed for a reprisal of the night before, but I felt a rumbling in my stomach, and I knew the green eyed monster was demanding food.

"I'm hungry," I said.

"Again?" He said seductively.

He kissed me again, trying to rekindle my passion.

"Not that kind of hungry," I laughed.

He stopped and examined my eyes.

"Are they dark?" I asked with concern.

"No love," he said seemingly fascinated. "They're luminous Bella; they're beautiful."

"Oh good." I was relieved. I didn't want any problems from the beast within today.

Suddenly I had a thought and I asked, "You don't miss the brown too much do you?"

It seemed a silly question to ask after everything, but I wanted to know.

"I love _your_ eyes Bella. It's not the color, it's what's behind them. Your eyes don't make you beautiful Bella, you make your eyes beautiful. Your spirit, your fire; that's what I have always loved about your eyes, and it's still there love. I don't care what color you're eyes are, I love you.

I smiled like an idiot, and threw myself to his lips and said "Thank you Edward, I love you too."

His passion began to rekindle, so I quickly said, "I am hungry though Edward, I need to eat something."

He sighed in resignation, popped up out of bed, giving my eyes a different sort of feast, and asked in a butler-like voice, "shall I serve madam?"

I giggled and said "I think you should put some clothes on first. I know the rest of you are comfortable with this sort of thing, but I'm not, so I'm off to the closet."

He gave me a once over, and said with a disappointed sigh, "Well if you must, but I'd like another look at this outfit later."

I rolled my eyes, and jumped up. I left him with a peck on the cheek and went to get dressed.

By the time I got downstairs, I heard Edward playing a passionate piece on the grand piano. I loved it when he played, so I was in no hurry to stop him. I went into the kitchen and dug into the refrigerator. I pulled out eggs, tomatoes, onion and cheese. I made a simple omelet and took it out to a sofa, and ate while I listened to my husband's incredible talent. The music was not familiar, but the style was. It was all Edward, and it moved me almost to tears. His passion was unmistakable when he played, and my ears drank it in. As I sat and listened, Alice and Rosalie joined me. We sat and just took in the beautiful music.

"Well," Rosalie finally said, "We missed you and Edward last night." She smiled an inquiring smile, and I returned her smile, despite the blush in my cheeks.

Seeing the blush, Alice joined in laughing, "You will never be able to be discrete with those cheeks Bella."

Rosalie joined in the laughter, and I couldn't help but succumb as well. "Eternity is going to be a very long time with you two around!" I laughed.

After we recovered, ourselves we talked about the last few days. "I did have confidence in my plan," I said, "but I can't believe we didn't lose more than Sam and Emily." I winced and felt my eyes want to water as I mentioned their names.

"We're all devastated at their loss Bella," Rosalie said. "I know I never bothered myself about the Quileutes," she continued, "but they did fight along side us, twice. Moreover, to make us part of their people, and allow us to come to La Push; well they are very special people, Bella, even I know that."

"Thanks Rosalie, I appreciate that so much. I just wish we hadn't lost them."

"We all do, Bella," Alice added. "I was so afraid of what would happen, and I couldn't see the outcome, because of the Pack. It makes _if only I could have seen_ run through my mind over and over."

"Don't Alice, there was nothing any of us could have done. I have had to accept that, we all need to."

"I know you're right Bella, but it's still frustrating."

I nodded and asked, "How was it for all of you. I haven't really asked."

"The battle," Alice began, "was pretty methodical. We watched for you and Jasper to eliminate Jane and Alec. Once that was done, we watched the guard, and we could see you working. We waited until the third or fourth pair, and then moved in. Between the wolves, and us we took out about half of what was left, before they split up and started to fight back. Jasper had rejoined Edward and me for a while, but then he left to go and check on you and Caleb. I was so worried about him, and Edward was worried about you. We heard the skirmishes between the rest of the family and the wolves, and it was hard to know who was fighting who."

"One of them," Rosalie joined in, "Quil I think is his name, got cornered, and took a bit of a beating, but Emmett gave him a hand and he was ok."

I shuddered thinking about poor Quil. He wasn't helpless as protector by any means, but I remembered the young man I gave a ride to so long ago at La Push. He had been so upset, and miserable, thinking he had lost his friends. I still felt protective of the Quileute boys, even though they neither wanted nor needed my protection. I had come to accept that. Still, I was glad Emmett had been there to help him.

"How was Edward during the battle?" I asked.

Edward's playing slowed a bit, and I knew he had heard my question, but he probably also knew there was no sense in not telling me.

I whispered, "please keep playing, it's lovely."

The music returned to its former pace and continued.

"Alice?" I asked again.

"He was Edward," she said. "You've seen him in battle with Victoria. He was lethal with the guard, not that he didn't take any hits."

I took in a quick breath, pushing away the thought of Edward being hurt.

"He was fine Bella, obviously. He was quick, he attacked from behind just as Jasper instructed us to. But one guard he had to face head on, and it wasn't as easy as the others. He actually got his hands on Edward and he was going for his throat."

I closed my eyes, and wrapped my mind around the music so I could not visualize the attack on Edward.

"How did he get out of it?" I asked.

"Well it was quite a tussle," Alice said. "He was holding his own, but it never hurts to have an annoying little sister." She smiled broadly, and all I could do was hug her.

"Thank you Alice!"

"Hey, what else could I do, no one is as fun to annoy as Edward," She teased. "Besides, your plan was a good one Bella. It really was almost flawless."

"I had my doubts," I said. "If I hadn't done my weird emotional disappearing act, I don't think I could have held it together. The night before would have been impossible for me."

"It was pretty intense," Rosalie added with a somber voice. "I've never seen Emmett like he was that night."

Alice and I looked at her and waited for an explanation.

"He was so serious, and you know him, he's always the jokester. Well, it is true when he and I are alone, Emmett can have his serious moments, but this was different. I mean when we were together…"

I immediately blushed and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Oh honestly you two, we're all married here, get a grip! _To continue_…usually when we're together it _is_ extremely intense, but Emmett is still Emmett, He likes to have fun with it, like everything else. That night he was different though; he was serious and urgent somehow. I worried about him. But he just said he needed me to know how much he loved me."

Alice and I nodded.

"Jasper was so worried" Alice said taking her turn. "You know he's seen more battle than any of us, and he's seen a lot of carnage. He's so protective of me, he was almost shaking at the thought of not being by my side the whole time. He did feel better that I was with Edward. We didn't make love that night, I think his mind was too much on the battle. He felt bad about that later. He said how horrible it would have been if that had been our last night and we weren't together that way. Silly ass, he comes up with the most ridiculous things sometimes. Just being with him, was all I needed, I didn't care in what capacity it was. Anyway, we just sat and talked about taking a trip together when it was all over. He mentioned Paris, so I could go shopping. Trying to keep me calm thinking about my favorite pastime I imagine. He's so sweet, that's why I love him so much."

"Well," I offered, "_EVERYONE_ knows all I've ever wanted was to be with Edward," they both nodded smiling, "so of course that night was no exception. As far as feeling though, I just couldn't. I couldn't respond to him other than to just let him hold me. Jasper I'm sure has told you about my lack of feeling?"

Alice nodded.

"Well it was very hard for Edward being with me with no response. I wished I could have had more feeling for _him_. It worked for me in the battle though. Still, I'm with you Alice, all I needed was to be _with_ him. I'm glad we had that night."

"So am I," Edward's velvet voice chimed in.

We all three turned to see him standing there looking beautiful and perfect, at least to me. We hadn't heard the music stop as we talked.

"Eavesdropper!" Rosalie scolded.

"Not like I can help it Rose," He said with a grin.

She just smiled a sarcastic smile and dropped it.

Alice stood up and said, "We'll need to get ready for the funeral soon."

"Yes, we will," Esme said from the upstairs, obviously in the process of coming to tell us that very thing.

We all stood up, and went to our perspective rooms to get ourselves ready.

The funeral at La Push was more than just paying our respects to Sam and Emily, it was the first time that the Cullen family, other than Carlisle, had ever been allowed to set foot on the Quileute's land. It took me back to the trip I took with the kids from Forks high school. The day I met Jacob, the day he in so many words told me what Edward was. I loved the beach at La Push, and I despite the sadness I knew I would have to weather that day, I was happy Edward would finally get to see it.

While getting dressed, Edward put his arms around me and said, "That last night at Wonder Lake, was perfect Bella, because I had you in my arms. I want you to know that love."

"I know Edward, I know."

Driving towards La Push, I could feel the pain of Sam and Emily's loss returning. I knew I had to keep a handle on it though, to help Jacob and Leah through it. Edward seemed almost uncomfortable as he crossed the halfway point where he had dropped me and picked me up, when I was spending time at La Push, hiding from Victoria. I put my hand on his arm and said, "weird huh?"

He smiled and nodded, but said nothing. As we arrived at the village, we proceeded to the Black's house. Charlie's cruiser was there. Jacob and Leah came out to meet us, followed by Charlie and Sue pushing Billy in his wheelchair.

It was a surreal moment, when Edward and Jacob shook hands, and pulled into a hug. It made the tears want to come, but I pushed them back. I stepped forward, hugged Leah, and asked, "How are you holding up?"

I could see she had already shed tears, but she was composed.

"I'm ok Bella, really. I can't promise what I'll be like later, but for now I'm handling it." I smiled and hugged her again and moved on to Jacob.

"Hey Jake," I said.

Jacob lifted me off my feet and held me tight. "I still can't thank you enough for helping Leah Bells, you're the best." He too looked like he had shed tears, but I only hugged him and said, "Your welcome. Whatever you need today, you only have to ask.

"Well," he began, "As a matter of fact there is something. After the funeral, we are holding a Potlatch in honor of Sam and Emily, and we'd like all of you to join us."

"What is that Jacob?" I asked intrigued.

Jacob put me down, and explained, "According to Quileute tradition, all the important times in a man's life is a time to hold potlatch: when he's born, when his parents name him, when he becomes part of secret society like the pack, when he gets married, and at his…death." Jacob paused for a second, Leah took his hand, and he continued. "A potlatch is a feast where the guest of honor gives away gifts and possessions. We found a note that Sam and Emily left at their house. Sam asked that we distribute their belongings among the people. Leah, Billy and I talked about it, and we decided holding a potlatch and giving their things out in an orderly way would be best. So if you all don't mind staying for the day, we would like you to take part."

I looked at Edward and the rest of the family. Carlisle stepped forward and said, "It will be our honor to attend your feast, and we are truly touched you want to include us."

Carlisle was the most gracious person I had ever known. He always showed extreme respect in whatever situation he found himself. I was so proud that I belonged to his family, and I was grateful that he would be available to help Jacob with his new position among the Quileutes.

"Thanks Carlisle" Jacob said.

I decided to take the opportunity to offer my congratulations to Sue. I walked over and greeted Billy. "Hi Billy, how are you?"

"I'm…fine…Bella, and you?" I could tell Billy was taken back by my appearance, so I tried to ease his mind a bit.

"I know the eyes are really weird Billy."

"No Bella, I'm sorry, it's just well, they're so different from your old color. Their so…so…green!"

"Yeah, I was a little freaked about that myself Billy." Charlie said.

"You're not angry at me are you Bella?" Billy asked.

I smiled a bit of an evil smile and said, "No, but a little more notice might have been nice."

Billy returned my smile, and said, "I waited as long as I could."

I leaned over and hugged him, and said "Thanks Billy, for always taking care of Charlie."

He just continued to smile and nodded.

I turned to Charlie and Sue. I hugged Charlie, and said, "Congratulations Sue, I'm so happy for you and Dad."

Sue looked at me, as though I had two heads, she actually seemed afraid.

Charlie looked over at Sue and gave her a little nudge, "Sue?"

"Oh," Sue said embarrassed. "I'm so sorry Bella, ah thank you, it really means a lot."

Leah walked up to her mother and said, "Mom, you don't have to be afraid of Bella or any of the Cullens. They're friends mom, in fact they're family. Sam would never have made a new treaty with them if that weren't the case."

"That's right," Jacob joined in. "The Cullen's are family now and forever."

Sue smiled and said, "Ok I get it. I just need to get used to the whole thing."

"Sue," I said, "I really am happy for you and Charlie; I just want us all to be happy together."

Sue walked slowly over to me, and looked at my face for a moment. Then she hugged me and said, "I'm glad you didn't disappear, it would have broken Charlie's heart. I hope we'll be seeing lots of you and the rest of your family."

"You will Sue," I said smiling. "And thanks for loving Charlie and for taking care of him."

After we talked for a while, Billy said it was time, and we all grew somewhat somber. We made our way to Sam and Emily's house. The elders had been inside preparing Sam and Emily. The rest of the pack via Jacob's mental call joined us. Billy directed them inside them into the house. They came back out carrying two elaborately carved canoes. There was a larger one on the bottom, and a smaller one inverted on top like a lid. The canoes were dugouts, carved from two single tree trunks, and bore carvings of the native animals of the Olympic peninsula. Incredibly detailed images of elk, moose, and eagles were placed over both sides of the canoes. There were also carvings of bears badgers and mountain lions. The shapes of the canoes were elongated, and at the prow of the larger of the two was a large protruding tapered end. Carved on the tapered end was a howling wolf, which looked almost exactly like the wolf on my bracelet that Jacob had given me for my graduation present. The canoes were beautifully colored in brilliant reds, yellows and oranges. The details were so intricate and created with such care; I was awed at the sight of them.

"What are those for Leah?" I asked as the boys passed by.

"It's Sam and…Emily's burial canoe." She answered, her voice breaking a bit.

It was then that I realized that the canoes were not empty; Sam and Emily were inside. It was also then that the memory of the two canoes in my dream came rushing back. Edward was right; _help for after the battle_.

The pack members began the walk from the village to the beach. We all followed, and as we walked along, we were joined by old Quil Ateara, and the few elders who knew the truth about the wolf pack and us. I saw the driftwood tree that Jacob and I used to sit on. I smiled as I now imagined him sitting there with Leah. I looked along the beach where I had spent so much time walking alone, as Jacob patrolled with the pack, protecting me from Victoria. I saw the cliffs where I foolishly jumped trying to force Edward's voice into my head, not realizing that action almost cost us everything. I took Edwards hand, and listened to the gulls complaining and the waves crashing. I thought about how all my experiences here, in one way or another, were connected to my husband.

As we made our way down the beach, St. James Island protruded from the water. It was essentially a rocky fortress, covered thickly on the top with pines. There were several other small islands that surrounded it, and it stood large, ominous and beautiful.

I watched Edward, as he took in the beauty of La Push, and said, "I had no idea how amazing it is here."

I squeezed his hand and said, "I wished so many times that I could share this place with you Edward. I'm sorry it has to be on this occasion that I finally get to, but I'm glad you're here."

Edward kissed my hand, and put his arm around me, still taking in the scenery.

The procession neared the end of the beach near the mouth of the Quileute River, where the sand and a piled rock outcropping fingered out to meet St. James.

As the Jacob and pack stopped, I looked at them, and could see the tears were already falling. I was only holding on by a thread.

Billy began to speak about Sam, and the great leader he had been for the pack. He talked about his struggle, during the time when he was the only protector, and no one knew how to help him when he first began to phase. He spoke of his kindness to the others in the pack, his love for Emily and his people. He talked about his bravery, facing the evil forces bent on destroying their people. He then spoke about the new treaty that Sam had entered into with Carlisle. He reminded everyone of Carlisle's keeping the original treaty; and how he and our family had helped to save their people. He talked about Sam and Emily taking a long last journey together to a better place where they would be together forever with their ancestors.

After he finished speaking old Quil Ateara and several of the elders came together and sung in the Quileute tongue, what I could only assume was a death chant for Sam and Emily. As they sang all the members of the pack were in tears, Jacob as well. But he stood tall, and never wavered. He looked as though he was thinking very hard on something. Finally the song ended, and the pack moved forward out onto the sand finger, and out to the foot of St James. Leah stayed with the rest of us as we remained on the beach and watched. Jacob climbed a chain ladder that was hung on the side of the rocky face. He lowered down two ropes that the Paul and Jared attached to each end of the canoes. Then the pack members climbed the ladder, and the canoe was hoisted up the side of St. James. We could see from the beach, the pack moving with the canoe to the center of the island. We caught glimpses among the trees of them lowering the canoe into a grave that had been prepared. After about 20 minutes when they were done lowering Sam and Emily in, and filling in the grave, the pack returned, Jacob climbing down last. Still walking tall, still stoic, to use Edward's word, he stopped in front of his father and nodded.

Billy continued, "Sam has joined the circle of our ancestors, and will wait for each one of us to join him when the time comes. Emily goes with him, his wife and true companion. May we honor their memory, and their sacrifice for all of us. But mostly, let us earn their faith in us, by always protecting the people, and our way of life." Then Billy spoke in Quileute for a several minutes before finishing.

"Words of blessing," Leah whispered to me.

Then he was done, and the Quileutes simply turned and headed back to the village.

As everyone headed back to the village, I told Leah I would come back to Billy's in a while. I walked out towards St. James to the water's edge. With Jacob and Leah safely away, I finally let tears fall for Sam and Emily. The Quileutes believed they were with their ancestors, and I would try to believe that for them. But I grieved for the loss of their company, it was another painful scar that I would have to carry with me in my long existence. In my mind, I talked to Sam and Emily; I told them how sorry I was that they had to give their lives in our fight. I told them how proud I was of Jacob, and how strong he had been for Leah and the wolf pack. I promised them again that I would always take care of them. I looked out at the lonely beach, past St. James, to the ocean. The breeze was brisk, and salty, and it blew my hair around my face. I suddenly felt as lonely as the beach looked. I turned around to see Edward just standing and watching me. My loneliness was immediately gone as I walked into his arms.

"This place is so special," he said. "I finally understand why the Quileutes love it so much. I feel so privileged to be allowed to come here."

I didn't say anything, I just basked in the sensation of his arms around me.

We spent the first part of the day exploring La Push. Since none of the family besides Carlisle and myself had ever stepped foot there, they wanted to see as much of is as they could. The beaches, and rain forests, the village, everything. Even though the wolf pack was mourning, they tagged along on the foray. It was a much-appreciated diversion. Caleb, Seth, and the younger boys went along with Edward, me, Jasper and Alice. Collin, Brady and Zachary kept eyeing us, trying to look nonchalant. Caleb scolded them and told them to relax. He acted so mature I had to laugh. Jacob and Leah took Esme and Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett on a tour of the surrounding area. The second half of the day, we spent at Jacob's house, talking about the upcoming Potlatch, the festivities, the food, everything. Esme and we girls helped Sue and Leah in the kitchen to prepare the food for the feast. Jasper and Emmett decided to leave for a while and go hunting down at south of the reservation. It had been a while since hunting in Alaska, and they didn't want any problems to arise. Carlisle and Edward joined Billy, Jacob and Charlie watching a football game. If it hadn't been for the sad occasion, it would have seemed like a holiday gathering. While we were talking, Jacob asked if he could talk to me outside.

After we were outside he said, "Bells, I was wondering if you would mind going over to Sam and Emily's with me for a few minutes?"

I immediately felt my eyes want to tear up, but I nodded.

"Thanks Bells, Just let me tell the others we'll be gone for a little while."

"Could you please tell Edward for me Jacob?"

"Sure Bells, I'll tell him."

Edward stepped outside for a moment and asked, "Are you alright Bella?"

I nodded, wiping my tears. "I'm alright. Jacob wants me to go over to Sam's and Emily's with him. We'll be back in a while ok?"

"Let me know if you need me?"

"I will."

Edward wiped the tears from my cheeks and said, "You still have such human responses Bella, I love them so much, but I'm sorry you're in pain love."

I just reached up, kissed him, and whispered, "I love you."

Jacob cleared his throat behind us and said, "Ah if you're ready Bella."

Edward kissed me quickly, gave Jacob a slap on the shoulder and went back into the house.

As we walked over to Sam and Emily's house, Jacob looked very pensive, as though he had something on his mind.

"Is something wrong Jake?" I asked.

"No, well not really," he said. "I was just wondering how Sam and Emily knew they wouldn't be coming back?"

"I'm no expert on the subject Jake, but I know with vampires, whatever talents you have while you're human, they are enhanced once you're changed."

Jacob nodded as I was explaining.

"Edward and his ability to read people's thoughts for example. Maybe he was always intuitive about what people were thinking, and it carried over to his ability now. I don't know Jake, maybe it's that way with all of us? Does it really matter? They knew and they were prepared; what more could they do?"

"You're right Bells; I guess I just miss them."

I stopped and hugged my friend and said, "Me too Jake, me too."

We got to their house and went inside. It was hard to be in the comfortable, homey room where I had first met Emily. We looked around for a few minutes, reminiscing, until Jacob finally said. There's a gift for you on the bed. Jacob waited, while I went into the tiny room that was Sam and Emily's bedroom, and on the bed was a bundle wrapped in a cloth. I unwrapped the bundle, and found an incredibly beautiful bark basket. The weave was more intricate and delicate than anything I'd ever seen. It crisscrossed in a web pattern that loosened as it fanned out to the edge. There were no loose fibers, no breaks, nothing to indicate a beginning or end of the weave. Folded inside the basked was a white woven blanket. It had figures of wolves and deer in the pattern, owls and doves also along the edges. It was exquisite. There was a folded note; I opened it and it read,

**This is for you, to remember me, and our friendship. **

**You are my friend, you are my sister. **

**Love always, Emily**

My tears fell as I refolded the note. Jacob came in behind me and hugged me. "It's so beautiful I said.

"It's a great honor to receive a basket and especially the blanket. It's essentially becoming part of that person's family. I thought about what Jacob had just said, and then something came to me. I let my tears well up again, a little thicker than my emotions really were. "Jacob," I said, trying to sound overcome with emotion, "Could I have a few minutes alone?"

Jacob reacted just as I'd hoped, "Sure thing Bells, I understand. I'll just wait outside."

"Thanks Jake," I said as he left.

I looked quickly around the bedroom until I some paper and pens on the dresser. I looked for the same color pen. I tested it on another piece of paper…it was a match! I opened Emily's note and looked at her writing. I wrote Leah's name several times until I felt it was close enough to Emily's hand that no one would notice. I felt the emotional factor would help as well. I hid the evidence of my forgery, and refolded the note and placed on the blanket. When I came out of the house, Jacob was waiting. I produced a couple of cursory sniffles, and said "thanks for giving me a moment Jake."

"It's ok Bells," he said putting his arm around me, "I understand."

I smiled as I carried the basket back to Jacob's house. The house was empty, except for Billy, Sue and Charlie. "Where did everyone go I asked?"

"More exploring," Charlie said.

"I think," Jacob said, I'll just go see what Leah's up to."

I smiled and raised an eyebrow, and nodded. Jacob winked at me, and was out the door.

I took the opportunity to talk to Charlie and Sue.

"So Sue," I began, "Are you planning on moving into Charlie's house after you're married?"

"Ah, well Bella," she said a bit uncomfortably, "I wasn't sure. I have our house here, and I'm not sure about moving Seth away from La Push. He has to be available, in case, well you know, they need him."

"Yeah," Charlie said, "I don't know how I'm going to get used to seeing that on a daily basis."

"_Dad_," I said, "It's not everyday, right Sue?"

Sue smiled, somewhat more at ease with me, and said, "Right Bella."

"I think you _should_ move in with Charlie," I continued. "He's such a creature of habit, I can't imagine him living anywhere else."

"Well," Charlie offered, "I can't deny that. I don't do too well with change. I guess that's why I sort of went over the edge about you Bells."

I just smiled apologetically and said, "Somehow Dad, I think I can understand why you might get just a little freaked out about that. And if you don't mind my making a suggestion Sue?"

"Of course Bella," she said.

"I was just thinking, that once Jacob and Leah are married, they may want a place of their own. I mean it's only natural when you're first married. And Billy could still use someone to help him out once in a while. Well I was thinking that maybe Seth could move in here. Then he would still be close to the pack, and Billy would have a hand when he needs it."

"Well," Sue said thoughtfully, I don't know; Billy, would you be ok with that, I mean would you like Seth to stay here with you?"

"Actually," Billy said, "I think it's a great idea. Jacob has been worried about what would happen with me if he and Leah don't move in here after the wedding. But look at this place, it's so small; it's been bursting at the seams today with all of us."

Sue looked like she was thinking things over, and added, "I'd have to ask Seth of course, but I really think it's a good idea. Charlie?"

"Hey, I'm all for staying at my house, and if it means that Billy will have someone to help him, so much the better."

Charlie, Sue and Billy were talking things over, when I suddenly started to feel very distracted. I kept having odd thoughts go through my mind, strange frustrating thoughts. I suddenly became aware of different fragrances in the air, both savory and sweet. It was then that I felt the burning just beginning in my throat. I froze, _NO! NOT NOW, NOT HERE! _

I looked at Billy, Sue and Charlie; Charlie! After Edward's promise, after the wonderful evening I had just spent with him. The treaty, what would happen to the treaty? I had to get out of there, but I didn't want to scare them. I very slowly and casually got up and said, "I think while you talk it over, I'll go look for Edward."

"Sure thing Bells," Charlie said. He looked like he was scrutinizing my face and he said, "Wow Bells, those eyes are something else, they seem to change color. Is that a normal vam…well is it normal?"

"Who knows," I said a little shakey. Then laughing to cover it I added, "They're still trying to figure me out."

"I wish'um luck with that," Charlie laughed.

I wanted to run, but I moved easily toward the door, and smiled. I waved and walked out.

I started walking quickly away from the village, but I knew I could not hunt on reservation land. I had to get out of La Push! But I was finding it hard to concentrate. I heard some kids playing and started to smell their scent. I held my breath and started running away from them. As I ran I started thinking about Edward, I wanted him so badly. The voice was awake, and searching. I was still in control, but I was terrified of losing it. I suddenly screamed Edward's name, and felt myself falling, and came to a stop. I was running, no Edward was running!

"_EDWARD!"_I screamed his name in my mind.

"_**Bella, I heard you scream, what is it?"**_

"_Edward, the thirst, it just hit me; right in front of Charlie and the others. Oh god Edward, I can't hunt here, but I don't know if I can make it! Please come get me!"_

"_**I'm coming Bella, I'm coming! Where are you?"**_

I looked around and realized I had run right back to first beach. I was standing facing St. James Island.

"_I'm on the beach again by St. James."_

_**Just stay where you are."**_

"_Please hurry Edward, please!"_

I released Edward, and sank down on the sand. I curled up in a ball and closed my eyes tight and tried not to breathe. The voice started to order me to search. I ignored it, but it started to scream like a shrieking banshee. I could barely hear the sound of the surf over it.

"Bella?"

I froze again, and voice screamed "YES!" I looked up to see Jacob and Leah walking towards me. I stood up, and felt myself want to crouch to spring, but I refused to let my knees bend; they shook with the battle between the voice and me. I started backing up into the surf. I could feel the tears streaming down my face.

"Bella," Jacob said again. "What the hell is going on?"

I tried to sound coherent as I spoke, "Jacob…please…please…take Leah…and leave…me alone…please."

Jacob's face went suddenly hard with understanding and he asked, "Can you get out?"

I nodded, as I continued to back into the water, though I didn't know if I were lying.

"I won't say anything Bella" he said as he moved Leah away from me, "Neither will any of the pack. But you have to get out!"

"Bella…" Leah said taking a step towards me.

"NO!" I said in almost a growl, "STAY BACK!"

"Leah," Jacob said with tremor in his voice, "if we don't leave now, it will be the end of the treaty!"

Leah's eyes filled with tears as she backed away from me with Jacob.

I continued to move back into the water afraid to come out until Leah and Jacob were out of site. The voice was beginning to take control and I knew I would be lost soon, and everything that had been built between our family and the Quileutes, and Charlie would be lost because of me. I wanted to scream, but the voice was already screaming. My mouth was on fire, and I couldn't stay still any longer. I started to move out of the water, and suddenly I caught the scent of blood! It reminded me of ice cream and cookies. It was human, and it was young, and we wanted it! The voice commanded I move; everything in me wanted to resist, but I moved; I started to move forward out of the water. I saw murder in my mind, I saw the end of everything that made me Bella. I knew I was lost when I heard another voice. It was familiar, and it seemed to float on the wind.

"_Bella,"_ it said. _"Bella, wait for Edward, he'll be here in a moment. Don't let the treaty be destroyed, don't give in. We have faith in you." _

I suddenly realized why the voice was familiar. It was Emily's voice; her kind sweet, comforting voice. The other voice screamed, but as I listened to Emily, I heard it less and less. It was still there, but subdued for the moment. I was heaving and coughing with the venom in my mouth. I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin, I was weakening by the moment.

"I…I…can't…hold…it!" I cried.

"_He's almost there Bella, hang on."_

Just as Emily's voice stopped, Edward's began, "Bella?"

I looked at Edward, Jasper and Emmett. I knew they were there to help, but the voice, immediately went on the defensive.

"Bella, come on sweetheart, let me run you out of here, so you can take care of this.

I didn't answer, but looked for a way to escape. The voice didn't want anything but to be fed. It didn't want help, it didn't want compassion, it didn't want anything, but to feed.

I crouched down in the water getting ready to spring, "We can't let her get away," Edward said to Jasper and Emmett, both nodding, and readying themselves.

I looked at Edward and said with venom in a low guttural growl, "Don't you touch me!"

I was about to spring, when Emily's voice came into my mind again saying, _"Bella, this is Edward; you love him, he loves you. Go with him, don__'t fight him, let him help you."_

For a moment the voice went quiet again and I knew this was the opportune moment.

I closed my eyes, stood up and opened my arms, and said, "Now Edward!"

Edward, Jasper and Emmet all sprung forward at once. and wrapped his arms around me. The voice came to, and I started thrashing wildly, but it was too late, the three brothers had me tightly in their grips and were running in tandem. Finally, the voice was silent, but not gone. I was in control enough to close my eyes and stay limp. I didn't open my eyes until we stopped. I looked around, and saw were no longer on the reservation.

Edward and the others put me on the ground and slowly released me and backed away. Immediately I took a defensive position looking at them as enemies. I began to looked around sniffing the air.

Edward pointed to the south, then I caught a heavy gamey scent lofting through the air.

I started moving in the direction of the scent, moving widely around Edward and his brothers, the voice warning me to keep distance from them. As I passed Edward, I watched him patiently waiting. He smiled as I moved, but I did not return it. I narrowed my eyes at him, not wanting to be hindered by anything, not even him. I looked between the trees and saw a heard of elk. I saw a magnificent buck with huge antlers. I could hear his heart and the warm blood pulsing. I got ready to spring, but I looked over my shoulder at Edward who hadn't moved from his spot and hissed, "Don't follow!"

He only nodded. I turned around and the rest was reflex; the strike, the kill, and the blood. I stood afterward, letting the blood disperse through my body, and then opened my eyes. Edward was about 20 yards away, sitting on one knee, his hand resting on the other, waiting. In the distance, Jasper and Emmet were standing, ready to assist him. I backed away from the elk, and started pacing in a circle. Edward stood up and took a step towards me; I raised a hand for him to stop, and he froze. As I paced the tears were falling, and my mind felt fractured. I felt it had been divided into two camps, the voice, the monster inside me; and me, Bella. I was afraid, so afraid the voice was stronger. I didn't know what I was going to do. Edward had told me about the thirst, and I had fully expected to be wild like Bree. I had been prepared and ready for that because I knew those that I loved that I might hurt. I would be able to endure it, because Charlie, and Jacob, and the pack, would not be near me. But when I turned out to still be Bella, myself, and the hope of having those loved ones in my life, it was too good to be true. When it turned out that I could still eat, and Carlisle theorized that human food would be my primary source of nourishment, I had hoped I would have more control. And other than the two exceptions, it looked as though I did. I was able to interact with Emily, and the pack, and Charlie; all no problem, until today. It was as if a cruel joke had been played on me, like I had been given a precious gift, only to have it ripped away. I stopped pacing and just dropped to the ground, and sat looking at Edward, letting the tears fall. Somehow he knew that I just wanted to sit there and deal. He didn't try to approach again, he just sat and waited. I pulled my knees to my chest, buried my face behind them and cried.

Finally Edward spoke. "Bella, can I come sit with you?"

I lifted my head and looked at beautiful husband, still so loving and patient. And I wondered how anyone so understanding could possibly be real. As unworthy as I felt to be with him when I was human, that feeling was magnified now that I was a vampire. I just nodded, and watched him as he approached me. After all we had been through together, I was still in awe of him. He humbled me in so many ways, and I knew I would never be what he deserved. It made my current dilemma that much worse.

He sat down in front of me and asked "Better now?"

I shook my head saying, "No. It'll never be better, I'll always be this out of control monster!"

"You are NOT a monster Bella," he said sternly.

"Look what happened Edward," I moaned. "I almost ruined everything that we've built with the Quileutes. If it hadn't been for Jacob, it would have been ruined!"

"What do you mean?" He asked, "What did Jacob have to do with it?"

"He found me on the beach. He was with Leah, and they ran into me when I was waiting for you."

Edward was visibly shaken realizing I was in a state of almost uncontrolled thirst in the presence of a werewolf, and Jacob no less.

"What did he do?" He asked quickly.

"First he asked what was wrong. Then he just sort of knew. He asked me if I could get out, and I told him I could, even though I wasn't sure. Then he said he wouldn't say anything, and neither would the pack, but that I had to leave. Then he and Leah left. I was so scared after that Edward, I got a whiff of a child's blood, and I even though I tried, I was starting to go find it, I couldn't stop myself!"

I stared crying again at the thought of hurting a child, it filled me with such grief.

Edward didn't ask anything else, but picked me up, and started running back towards Jasper and Emmett. The gentlemen that they were, they said nothing, but began to run with us back to La Push.

When I realized that we were headed back, I started to protest, "No, how can I go back Edward, how can I face Jacob! What if I snap again, oh my god, no I can't put everyone at risk like that, please!"

When I started to struggle, Edward stopped, and let me down, and held me for a moment. I could tell he didn't know what to say to calm me. We had been here before, right here. He had told me it would be ok, I would learn control, but after what had just happened, I wondered if he still felt that way.

After a few moments of silence, Jasper finally spoke up. "Bella," he began, "Can I say something?"

I just nodded, not really wanting a pep talk, but not willing to protest either.

"Do you trust me Bella?"

I looked at him a bit confused, but said, "Yes I trust you Jasper."

"And what about Emmett?" He asked. "Do you trust Emmett?"

I didn't know where he was going, but I answered again, "Yes, I trust Emmett too."

"And," he went on, "I know you trust Edward, yes?"

"Yes," I said looking into Edward's eyes, "more than anyone."

Edward only smiled back at me.

"And what about before your run in with Irina, before your change, did you trust us all then?"

"Yes, of course I did, what are you getting at?"

"You trust the three of us, and yet ALL of us, have gone after human blood, even after we were vegetarians."

I just looked at him, taking in that statement.

"Edward with his time of rebellion, and Emmett with his…slip ups…we'll call them. Look at me, the very first day you came to Forks high school, I was having visions of attacking one of the students. I tried to kill you Bella, because you got a paper cut. And yet you still trust me, love me as your brother correct?"

I nodded, starting to understand a little.

"You are unique from us Bella in many ways, but you are very much the same as us in one; you are a newborn vampire, and as such you _WILL_ have times when you have a hard time controlling yourself. There's no point in denying it, or sweeping it under the carpet. Nor is there any point in blowing it up bigger than it is. We all went through it, and so now must you. It's an acquired skill Bella, and like other acquired skills, you must practice it, to master it, as far as it can be mastered that is. Even after you master controlling yourself, you will always have the thirst with you; I still struggle with it. You may have moments of relief because of your ability to eat food, but it will obviously always be there."

I stood and thought about what he was saying, and tried to look at it both logically and critically. He was right, I knew he was, but today shook me so badly, shook me to the foundations of my mind.

"Ok," I said, "I know you're right, but how do I prevent days like this. If it hadn't been for Emily, I would have gone after that child, I _was_ going after it!" I put my hands to my face, my senses assaulted again by that picture.

When I looked up, all three of them looked at me as if I was losing control again. "What?" I said warily.

"Bella," Edward said cautiously, "What do you mean if it hadn't been for Emily?"

I suddenly realized how strange a thing it was that I had heard Emily's voice. In the midst of dealing with the monster, and its temptations, I never even thought about it. I looked back at them wide-eyed and said, "I heard her, her voice in my head. When I was going after the child, she was talking to me calming me down. She told me to hold on for you, not to break the treaty, that she and Sam had faith in me. Her voice was the only thing that held me in that water when I was coming ashore to search for that child!"

"Bella," Edward said, I don't know how that could be possible."

"Edward, I'm not sure how it happened, but it did." I thought about it for a moment, and then Jasper words, _I tried to kill you because you got a paper cut_ hit me. It was after that incident that convinced Edward he had to leave me for my own good. Racked with so much internal pain from his absence, I heard his voice whenever I was taking risks. But was it the same? Edward had been alive, and Emily wasn't. Was it another of my unique abilities, to hear people who weren't there, or were these voices just the products of my own mind? I didn't know, but I did know, that I heard her, and she saved me from destroying everything. "Your voice Edward," I said, "when you were gone, that's what it was like." Edward looked at me and nodded. "I don't know if the voice was her, or me, but it stopped me, and helped me wait until you came, that's all I know."

Edward had a look on him that I'd never seen before, he actually looked weary. Nodding, I gave him a knowing look, and said, "I know, not exactly what you signed up for, am I?"

Edward smiled, but it was a worried smile, and I felt like he agreed with me. I just started walking back to La Push, Edward, Jasper and Emmett joined me. We walked silently, not talking, not knowing what to say. I knew that I was a problem, but I wondered if Jasper was right, was I just going through the throws of being a newborn, or was I such an oddity in the world that I just didn't fit in anywhere? I wanted to believe that I would master this, and I could still have Charlie, Jacob and the pack in my life. I had gone through so much in the last few weeks; how would I deal with this constant rollercoaster ride of trying to settle into my new life? I didn't know where to look for the answer.

I suddenly became aware that Edward was watching me ruminate. I tried to ignore his scrutiny, and kept walking and thinking. My first instinct was to go straight home, and not put anyone at La Push in danger. But I knew that my hunt, had quieted the monster at least for the night. Jacob and the pack would never say anything, but I believed that Jacob would always look at me differently. I was no longer just plain Bells to him, now I was a vampire, and a real threat. A threat he would always have to worry about when I came to La Push. I felt a tear streaking down my cheek, and I quickly brushed it away.


	28. The Potlatch

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

28. The Potlatch

As we neared the village, Edward grabbed my arm, and said, "Emmett, Jasper, could you go on, and tell them that Bella and I will be along in a while?"

They nodded, and as they left the both hugged me and Jasper said, remember, you are worth it." I smiled and nodded, and let them go.

Edward changed our direction and we started walking through the trees. I couldn't look at him, I felt like such a disappointment.

Finally, Edward stopped and faced me. He lifted my chin and said, "Don't think what you're thinking Bella."

"Why," I said quietly, "what am I thinking?"

"That I agree with you about not being what I signed up for."

"Don't you?"

"No, Bella, I don't."

"Why not? I would."

"No Bella you wouldn't. You have too big a heart for that, and you know it. I know how hard this is for you Bella. I've been in your shoes, we all have, don't you remember that? Didn't you hear any of what Jasper was saying?"

"Yes" I said, "I heard. But I've caused so much trouble Edward, and I'm tired of it. It's just like it was when I was human. I keep falling, only I'm not falling over, I'm falling into danger, and I'm taking everyone with me. At least when I fell from clumsiness it was only me that got hurt."

"I want you to take me with you Bella, wherever you go, up or down, good or bad; you are my wife, and my love and where one of us goes, so does the other. I know you think you have complicated my life, and you are correct."

I started to apologize, but he stopped me.

"You have complicated my well-ordered, methodical, mundane existence. You've brought me excitement, enthusiasm, anticipation, angst, and worry. But most importantly, you've brought me love Bella, love with someone who makes my life a joy when I thought it would never be anything but a penance, a punishment for what we are. You gave me hope again Bella, and I hadn't had hope in almost a century. You will get through this, you will find your control, and you will do it with me by your side every step of the way. If the monster within you pops up now and again, we will deal with it, just like we've dealt with mine, and Jasper's and Emmett's. You are worth all the trials we've gone through Bella; and I'd go through every one of them all over again if it meant being with you!"

I pulled myself into a hug with him, just holding him and thinking how unworthy I was, but selfishly I didn't care. I didn't know what each day would bring, or what new complication I would bring to each day, but I knew this, I could never be without him, and that truth was all there was. I reached my fingers up into the bronze locks that I loved, and pulled his lips to mine.

When Edward and I got back to the Black's, the family and the pack were all standing around talking. When Jacob saw us, the entire pack looked up, watching me with trepidation, but saying nothing. The younger pack members looked almost afraid, except for Caleb. I could barely look at him. He had proven himself so completely, and been such a true friend in battle. And I felt like I had just destroyed our friendship by proving I was no better than the Volturi guards we fought. Caleb gave me a small smile and took a step towards me. "Caleb," Jacob said with authority, and shook his head. Caleb froze in his tracks and just looked down without saying a word. Jacob walked over to us and said with a bit of a strained voice, "Edward, Bella, could the three of us take a walk, I want to talk to you both."

Edward nodded, and we followed as Jacob led us away. We walked down to first beach again and stopped. Jacob, his arms crossed, looked out at the water for a few moments. Finally, he turned around, and looked directly at me. I couldn't look at him, I dropped my eyes, feeling the blur of tears. Edward put his arm around me, and held on as we waited for Jacob to begin.

"Bella," he said with a steady voice, "If it had been anyone else in the pack today, you might be dead, you know that don't you?"

Edward stiffened, and I nodded without saying anything. The tears were thicker now.

Jacob seeing I was crying, turned his attention to Edward. "Has Bella told you what happened?" he asked.

"Yes Jacob," Edward answered, "I want to say thank you, for Bella, for all of us."

"You may want to hold that thought Edward," Jacob said in a serious voice. Edward's face became tense, as he waited for Jacob to continue.

"Bells?" Jacob addressed me again, "Bella, look at me." I raised my eyes and looked into his. "You know how much I love you Bella don't you?"

I finally found my voice and answered, "Yes Jacob, I know."

"You're my best friend Bells, but I can't ever let something like this go again; I will not allow anything, or anyone to hurt my people. It's my responsibility, my legacy left to me by my ancestors and Sam. I will not let them down Bells, not even for you."

I couldn't speak, I just stood silently crying, knowing he was right, and believing even more, that Jacob would never look at me without suspicion, and worry. I felt a new pain in my heart, the pain of losing my friend; not completely, but close enough. He was the leader of the Pack, and the Quileute people, and that superseded everything else. Now I was a threat, and although he was giving me a second chance, he would never take that threat lightly. He would always watch me with scrutiny and caution. I never realized how much I would suffer from the consequences of my decision to become a vampire. I never believed Jacob and I or our relationship would really change. I thought once the romance issue was settled, we could be the close easy friends we had always been. I knew now that our relationship had been altered, perhaps forever. We were now werewolf and vampire, allies, tolerating each other. It was yet another emotional scar to add to a growing collection of them. I thought if someone could take a picture of my heart, it might look scarred and ruined, like a war weary veteran, carrying the souvenirs of too many battles.

Jacob continued, "You are all still welcomed to come to La Push, but I would like you to let me know before you do. I will always honor our treaty, and you will always be regarded as family here, all of you. But what happened today, makes it clear that we have to be careful around each other, to keep each other safe, and to preserve our friendship."

Edward nodded, but I just stared at the sand motionless, and still the tears fell.

"One last thing" Jacob added. "This is the hardest thing for me to say, but I have to so you can decide if you still want to come back to La Push."

We waited.

"We came too close today to our people being hurt; so close that I have come to a very difficult decision, one that cuts to my very soul, but one that is necessary to protect my people". Jacob's eyes became very hard, but also filled with pain, and stared directly back into my eyes. "If anything like this should happen again, no matter who the vamp…the offender is, neither I nor any of the pack will hesitate to remove the threat to our people."

Jacob waited while Edward and I digested what he was saying. I knew that he had had to come to that decision, even though it broke his heart. In the moment I turned to find the unseen child's blood that had tempted me, I knew that things would never be the same for Jacob and me. It was inevitable, I accepted it, and yet I felt numb, as though I had just learned of the death of a friend.

Jacob waited for a response, continuing to look into my eyes, but I gave none. Finally, Edward stepped forward and offered his hand to Jacob, which surprised us both. When Jacob took it Edward said, "We understand Jacob, and I want you to know that there will be not be another incident like this again. Bella is still adjusting to her needs as one of us, and until she understands them better, we will make sure that she is never without one of us with her. We will not come to La Push unannounced, and if at any time you feel our presence here is too much of a risk for your people, we will abstain from coming at all, with no animosity toward any of you. Please know that all of you will always be welcomed to our home, treaty or no. You are our friends and family, and we will always regard you as such. Thank you Jacob; for allowing Bella a chance to remove herself today and for keeping it between the pack and us. I will always be grateful to you, always."

Jacob smiled and nodded.

He put his hand on my cheek and said gently, "Bells?"

I looked at him, my heart breaking.

"Bells, you know I have to do this right?"

I nodded.

"I would rather die than hurt you, but I have to protect the people."

Once again I said nothing.

"It doesn't change how I feel about you Bells, remember that ok? Leah still wants you to be her maid of honor, and we would still like you to come tonight."

I knew how hard it had been for Jacob to talk to us this way, and I also knew there was nothing else to be done about it. The only solution was for me to learn control, or not return. As far as his ultimatum about removing the threat, I wanted it no other way, I would rather be destroyed than hurt anyone.

"Bella?" Jacob asked.

I looked at Edward who smiled a sad smile and nodded, knowing what I wanted he dropped his arms from around me. I walked over to Jacob and hugged him; he returned the gesture and took me up in a gentle bear hug.

"I'm so sorry Jacob," I said, "so sorry you and Leah had to see me like that." The tears were still falling, but I was clear about what I wanted to say. "I understand why you have to do this, and I'm glad, because I'd rather die than hurt any of you."

I could feel Edward tense behind me at the mention of my dying, but I continued, "I will try to figure myself out Jacob, and I think it might be better if I don't come back until I do."

"Do whatever you think is best Bells. Just know that you are still welcomed here. And we still want you to come to the wedding and to the Potlatch tonight, all of you."

The last thing I wanted was to be around the pack tonight. I felt like I had let them all down. I couldn't say no to Jacob though; I had a feeling once the wedding was over, it would be a very long time before I saw him again, and I wanted to make him feel better about his decision

I nodded and Jacob set me down. "I'd better get back to the house, Billy will be getting worried, and I want to make sure no one outside the pack suspects anything.

Jacob looked at me one last time, and for one brief moment, his face softened and he was my Jacob, and I was just Bella. He put his hand to my cheek again and whispered, "I'm sorry Bella."

Then my Jacob was gone, and his face became that of the Quileute Leader. He was the protector, and I was the vampire. I just nodded and turned into Edward's chest. Edward extended his hand again, and again said, "For everything Jacob, thank you."

Jacob shook Edward's hand and was gone.

The Potlatch was very festive. Tables and chairs had been set up, and the tables piled high with food. It seemed like all the people from the reservation had come. There was Quileute music, dancing, and games; despite the reason for the occasion, everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. I tried to put up a happy front for Charlie, Sue and Billy. Only the pack and the family knew what had happened. The pack submerged themselves in the food and festivities, and the family ever practiced in concealing the details of our life, gave nothing away. Edward sat with his arm around me, but said nothing about our exchange with Jacob. There wasn't really anything to say. I smiled when smiled at, I answered when asked a question, I laughed when appropriate. But my mind felt heavy and strained, weighed down. My heart felt as though it had a slow but growing pain, radiating from the inside out as I looked at Jacob who hadn't looked at me since our talk on the beach. Leah smiled a sad, beautiful smile at me. We both knew the budding friendship that had begun in Alaska, had been altered, stifled. Not because we wanted it that way; the tension that had now resurfaced between the pack and my family, made it that way. It was all my fault and I knew it, and looking into her grieving eyes, it made it all the more real for me. As I looked at Leah though, I knew there was something I had to do that I hoped would ease some of her grief and pain. While I sat silently thinking about things, Caleb came and sat down beside me. His face was so young, so innocent, and yet he had a look of wisdom about him that was beyond his years. I attributed it to the battle he had fought in so bravely. I looked into his eyes, and mine immediately began to tear.

Seeing my distress he said, "Don't cry Bella, it's alright, really. I know you wouldn't have hurt anyone."

I wished with all my heart, that had been the truth, but it wasn't. I wanted to tell him just that, to spare him a friendship with someone who was so dangerous, and might hurt him in one way or another. But I couldn't bear to look into his eyes, and shatter his trust in me. It was selfish, for my benefit not his. But I already loved this young boy like a little brother, and I wanted to keep his good opinion of me, no matter how much I did not deserve it. I just shook my head and said, Thank you Caleb that means more to me than you know."

I didn't say anything else to him, I just smiled and leaned against Edward, and stared into the large bonfire that had been lit at sundown. Edward held me closer and just rested his chin on my head. Even with everything that had happened, I felt comfort in his arms. It was the only thing that gave me any relief, and I felt as though I didn't deserve it.

After everyone had visited, danced, and eaten their fill, Jacob stood up and walked to the bonfire. He turned and faced the crowd, who automatically quieted down.

"Tonight's potlatch is to honor Sam Uley and his wife Emily. Sam was a true friend and brother. He cared for all the people, and made it his business to protect and nurture our way of life. He died as he lived, proudly, and with the love of our people in his heart. That was all Jacob said about Sam and Emily's death. The pack and the elders, were the only Quileutes who knew the truth about the protectors and those they protected their people from. The rest of the Quileutes were told that Sam and Emily had had an accident traveling to Port Angeles. It was a likely enough explanation, and one apparently no one was questioning. Then it was time for the giving of Sam's gifts, the possessions he and Emily had left behind. Leah joined Jacob, and passed out items small and large to each Quileute family in attendance; blankets, bowls, tablecloths, and tools. They even offered a small carving of a wolf to Carlisle and the family. When all the gifts had been given, Jacob thanked everyone for coming, and instructed everyone to celebrate Sam and Emily's lives by enjoying the evening and each other. As the crowd began to spread out around the bonfire, I told Edward I needed to get something from Billy's house. He and I walked back to the house, not saying anything. I focused on doing one thing before we left; one that I hoped would make Leah very happy. Concentrating on her happiness was helping to lift my spirits a bit.

Once we got to the house, Edward asked, "How are you doing Bella?

"I'm sad Edward; I don't know what else to say."

"Jacob didn't end the treaty Bella, we can still visit here."

I turned sharply, looked at him incredulously, and said, "How could you even think about that with what happened today? If I hadn't told Leah I would be her maid of honor, I wouldn't be coming back even for the wedding."

"Jacob wants you there Bella, he still loves you, you know."

"It'll never be the same between Jacob and me Edward, never. I'm not the same person he once called his friend, I'm not that Bella anymore."

"What do you mean Bella?" Edward asked with concern in his voice.

"I used to be someone he could trust, he can't trust me now."

"Bella he said, "We've already talked about this. We told you, we've all been through this, you will overcome this Bella, and you will get control."

"I know that!" I snapped. "It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change how Jacob looks at me now. It doesn't change how any of them look at me now."

La Push had always been a home away from home for me, and the boys in the pack had always been like an extended family for me. I didn't know if things would ever be that way again, and it was almost as painful as saying goodbye to Emily and Sam.

Edward looked at me with intensity and said, "Jacob loves you Bella, of that I am absolutely sure. It broke his heart to say what he did to us tonight. He feels like he's torn between his love for you his friend, and his love for Leah and his people and their protection. He wanted to help you on the beach today, but he was afraid for Leah. She may be a member of the pack, but he still feels as though he has to protect her. He had to choose today Bella, and he chose Leah, and he feels guilty about it."

"He shouldn't feel guilty," I said quietly, "he made the right choice, the only choice he could."

Edward nodded. "But it doesn't change anything," he continued using my own words, "it doesn't change how he feels about you Bella."

I shook my head at him with tears of course. "I've ruined everything Edward, everything."

"No love," he said, "you haven't ruined anything. You just made us all realize how important this new treaty is to all of us, and how hard we will fight to keep it."

"But Jacob…" I started to say.

"Jacob," Edward interrupted, "is your friend and mine. Don't count him out yet Bella. He'll always be your friend Bella and he'll always love you sweetheart, always"

I wanted so much to believe Edward. He had always been so accommodating to my relationship with Jacob, even when there was anger and jealousy between them. I knew that it could be his attempt at trying to make me feel better. I didn't think that was what he was doing now though.

"Edward, do you really think so," I asked. "I mean, after everything I did today, do really think so?"

"I know so Bella." He said, pulling me into his arms. "Please don't be so sad love; please try to be happy, for me, for Jacob and Leah, and for yourself.

I wasn't sure if Edward was right; if Jacob really would think of me the same. All I knew was that I wanted to believe it, and my mind needed to believe it. So I tried to.

I kissed Edward and said, "Thank you for always being there to rescue me Edward; and for loving me no matter what."

"For better or worse, remember?" He reminded me again.

I just put my arms around his neck and said, "I hope the better is coming soon for your sake."

He kissed me and said, "It's always been here love, from the moment you said I do."

After getting the basket Emily left for me from Billy's house, Edward and I made our way back to the bonfire. Jacob and Leah were sitting together with the rest of the pack when we approached them. Jacob stood up and I stopped a few feet away. I thought for a moment he might not want me close to Leah, but to my surprise he said, "Here Bells, sit here."

I felt more at ease, and said, "Thanks Jake."

I turned to Leah and said, "Emily left these things at the house before we left for Alaska."

"I remember them," she said. "Emily made the basket a long time ago, and the blanket was made by our grandmother. It's been a tradition in our family that a bride wear a blanket like this on her wedding day. Emily wore it the day she married Sam"

I could see her eyes look at the blanket with sadness and longing.

"Well," I said, "then it's a good thing Emily left the blanket for you."

Leah's eyes lit up, and smile crossed her face. Jacob turned abruptly and looked at me as though he were confused; I ignored him.

"Here," I said as I handed Leah Emily's note, "Emily left this for you."

Leah's eyes filled and spilled over with tears as she read the note aloud, "Leah, this is for you, to remember me, and our friendship. You are my friend, you are my sister. Love always, Emily."

"You see" I said, "There was nothing to make right Leah. Emily loved you, and she already considered you her sister. She pulled the blanket close to her chest with one hand, and hugged me with the other. I was so shocked after what had happened on the beach to be in her embrace that my own tears returned. It seemed tears were never far away from me.

"Oh Bella, I can't believe it, I'm so happy, everything is right now, and our wedding will be perfect now. Emily…Emily forgave me." She was so happy, and she said crying, "I have to go tell my mom ok?"

"Go," I said.

After Leah skipped away to show Sue the blanket, Jacob sat down next to me. I immediately felt awkward, not knowing what was going through his mind I was shocked when Jacob put his arm around me.

"You know Bells," he said with a knowing voice, "I read Emily's note when I found the basket."

I looked at him feeling the blush in my cheeks, but I couldn't feel guilty. I wanted Leah to be happy, and she was, nothing else mattered at the moment. He smiled at me and said, "Thank you Bella, you've made her so happy. She still had such guilt about Emily and Sam, and now she can let it go. It means so much more than you know Bella."

"I'm glad Jacob, I want you and Leah to be happy, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. Besides, I think Emily knew that I would give the blanket to Leah. It should be Leah's, it should be kept in her family for her to pass down to your daughter."

Jacob smiled at the thought of a daughter, and said something that I would always hold dear in my heart, "I hope she's just like you Bella, strong, kind, and beautiful."

I put my head on Jacob's shoulder and whispered, "Thank you Jake, and I'm sorry, sorry for everything."

"Don't Bella," He said, his voice heavy, "Don't feel guilty Bella, you couldn't help it, I know that. I just have to protect everyone."

"I know that Jacob."

"But don't you ever think I don't care about you as much as I ever have Bells. Leah's letting her guilt go you need to do the same."

I didn't know how it was possible that Jacob could still be so loving towards me after what I had done. It was yet another example of the person he was. He had always helped me through my seemingly continuous trouble. Even now when I was the trouble, he was helping me. I knew I didn't deserve him as my friend, but once again I was too selfish to worry about that. I just sat with my head on his shoulder, and looked into Edwards eyes. He was smiling, happy as I was that I still had my friend.

Finally, we said our good byes to the pack, and to Charlie and Sue. We headed home, the treaty still in tact, and more questions than ever about me. When we got to the house I felt as thought I should sleep, and so Edward and I retired to our room. I didn't want to relive my incident, so we didn't talk about it. Edward lay down with me, and pulled me to him, cradling me in his arms. I looked into his eyes, and again drawn into their depths; I felt calm there. Fire, flood, vampire war, or my own monster's attempt to destroy me could not change the fact that he was the center of my universe. He was the constant reason for my existence and the one thing that I could hold onto. As I closed my eyes he kissed me to sleep, and my dreams that night were only of him.


	29. Volturrian Prophecy

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

29. Voturrian Prophecy

The next morning I woke facing the window, laying across Edward's chest, his arms around me. Apparently my dreams of him, were not all dreams, as the memory of our evening came rushing back. I tried to get up, but he held me and said, "Don't move yet Bella, please. You have no idea how incredible it still is to just hold you like this."

"Oh, I think I have a little bit of an idea," I said turning my face to look at his. I moved the bronze tresses from his face and we just looked at each other for the longest time. After too short a time I asked, "What shall we do today?"

"Well," he replied, unless I'm reading him incorrectly, I think Carlisle has it in his mind to leave for Volterra today."

I sat straight up shocked. "Volterra…Today? What's the rush, why does he want to go today?"

"Well he is worried about anarchy breaking out with the destruction of the Voturri. He feels we must go, and arrange a gathering of vampires to discuss the future with the panel."

"Edward, how sure are we that the other vampires would be willing to accept this panel? I always counted on Aro's being there with Carlisle. His being already thought of as a leader, well, I thought the idea would be better received."

"And you would be correct in thinking that," he answered. "Things would have been better received with one of the masters still alive, and allied with us."

"And what do we do if they don't accept the panel's authority?"

"We'll deal with that if it comes to it."

I gave him a sarcastic smirk and said, "You have a very eloquent way of answering me without actually telling me anything."

He smiled broadly, amused by my sarcasm and said, "Years of practice love."

I couldn't help but laugh at him, and then he pulled me back down and kissed me, turning my thoughts into a jumbled up mess, with no rhyme or reason, only the pull of his lips on mine made sense. When he began to move his hands down the length of my body, I was utterly lost, and happily so.

Later, we came downstairs, and went to the kitchen to feed me. Anticipating where our first stop of the day might be, Carlisle, Jasper and Alice were waiting for us.

"Good morning," Carlisle said cheerfully. "How…ah, did you sleep well?" He had obviously remembered my comment about being tired of people asking me how I was.

"Yes, I did," I said giving Edward a teasing look.

Edward snickered, and Carlisle continued, "I suppose Edward has already read my thoughts this morning…hmm?"

Edward smiled and we both nodded.

"I believe it is imperative that we set up the panel and meet with the different covens soon as possible. Eleazar and Carmen have already been in touch with several of them from different areas of the world, asking them to convene with us in Volterra. We want to lay out our plan and hopefully we will not have a great deal of opposition.

I suddenly felt uneasy about the trip and asked, "What will happen if we do have a great deal of opposition?"

"The panel's authority could be challenged," he said matter-of-factly.

"And if the panel's authority is challenged, what will we do then?"

"That is a decision we must discuss before we arrive in Volterra. Right now the rest of the family is preparing for the trip, I suggest you both do the same; we'll discuss our options on the plane."

"If it's alright I said, I would like to eat something, and hunt again before we go, so I don't have a repeat of yesterday."

I saw Carlisle's face strain a bit when I mentioned the incident at La Push. I hadn't really discussed it with anyone in the family besides Edward, Emmett and Jasper. Carlisle's face became increasingly distressed looking, so I decided to find out why. "What is it?" I asked.

"Bella," he said, "I wanted to apologize to you."

"For what?" I asked.

"I feel somewhat responsible for what happened yesterday."

"Carlisle" I said, "how can you possibly blame yourself for what happened. It was my inability to control myself. It was my fault, not yours."

"Bella," he said more insistently, "It was my theory that you might only need human food for nourishment. It was also my theory that you might only need to hunt occasionally. I fear my enthusiasm for my theories and my relaxed attitude about it, may have lulled you into a false sense of security, and therefore made you less focused on your need to hunt than you might otherwise have been. And it certainly lead to all of us letting our guard down around you."

I wondered if I in the untold years I would live if I would ever meet anyone as loving and selfless as Carlisle Cullen. Always taking care of the rest of us, always feeling responsible, he would even try to bear the burden of my episode at La Push. I couldn't stand his feeling guilty over something that wasn't his fault.

"Carlisle," I said "I know you want to help me deal with what happened yesterday, and I am so grateful for that, but I have to accept the responsibility. I was so afraid I had destroyed the treaty with Jacob, and our friendship. Just knowing that isn't the case, makes things easier for me. Please don't blame yourself, Carlisle, you have enough to deal with, we all do." I put my arms around my second father, kissed his cheek, and said, "Thank you for caring so much about us, I love you Carlisle."

"You are truly a blessing to Esme and me Bella, we just want to help you through this transition as much as we can. And your very welcome, but please let's pay attention to your needs more closely shall we?"

"I think that goes without saying Carlisle," I said, "I am curious why I needed to feed so abruptly? I asked Edward yesterday morning if my eyes were dark and they weren't. Yet they turned almost in front of Charlie. Why do you think that is?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but I think I mentioned that your enhanced abilities, and your strength might make it necessary for you to hunt as often as we do. But I never anticipated, that at times you might need to hunt more often than us. It's all conjecture I'm afraid Bella, you are unique, and I think only time will tell what your needs are going to be. But I think eventually you'll get your rhythm with it."

"Alright Carlisle," I said, and then turning my attention to Edward added, "and since we are leaving soon, Edward, if you don't mind, I would like to hunt now."

"Of course," Edward said.

Edward and I spent about an hour hunting in close proximity to the house. We were able to track down a herd of deer, though we would have preferred carnivores.

After returning home, we packed and I gave Charlie a quick call to let him know we were gong on a trip. I thought it better not to burden him with where and why. I told him it was just some family business and that I would fill him in when we got back. He seemed happy with my explanation, and said, "Be safe Bells, or whatever, you know what I mean."

I had to laugh and said I would. I felt so happy to have my father still in my life.

Within a couple of hours, the entire family was aboard our private jet, on our way to Italy. We would be landing in Florence, and drive the rest of the way to Volterra. I never thought of myself as a world traveler, but I had certainly done more in the two years I had known Edward, than I had most of my life. Our trip would be a long one, about ten to twelve hours, depending on weather conditions, so we settled in for the long flight. We discussed the gathering of vampires from around the world. Carlisle and Eleazar had reached out to certain influential individuals, which they felt would see the wisdom in the panel we were proposing. The one issue they were worried about was whether or not it would be seen as a loaded panel, being made up only of our family and Eleazar's. We knew the most controversial issue would be that of our vegetarianism. Relying only instinct as most non-vegetarian vampires did, it made it hard to form emotional attachments. Our emotional ties to each other were looked down upon, and for the most part thought abnormal, by the others, so having only vegetarians on the panel, would be a hard sell. We all agreed that we would be open to suggestions of additions to the panel to make it more equitable in the other's eyes. If there was too large an opposition to our proposed panel, and adding a non-vegetarian representative to the panel did nothing to improve that opposition, we decided to have Carlisle stand alone as our representative, and ask for three other representatives from among the other covens. There was also some discussion of what we should do if there was animosity towards us for destroying Jane, Aro and the rest. We decided that Jane had created such a hatred of them, that there was little threat of that.

As the others were talking over different details of the gathering, I decided to explore the galley, since between hunting and packing; I neglected to eat food before we left. Edward leaving nothing to chance, had phone ahead and had the galley stocked with everything imaginable. I found some pre-made turkey sandwiches, and pasta salad. As I was putting a plate together, Alice came to keep me company.

I was spooning pasta onto my plate, when Alice spoke. "Bella," she said somewhat somberly, I wanted to talk to you about something if you don't mind."

"Sure Alice," I said without a thought.

"I want Edward to be there too."

She looked worried, and made me worry. I nodded, and taking my food with us, I said, "Let's go in the bedroom."

As we passed through the passenger cabin, I grabbed Edward and said, "Alice would like to talk to us ok?"

Edward nodded, and popped up to follow us. As Alice closed the door behind us, I noticed the damage I had done to the headboard throwing Edward into it had already been repaired. I was amazed it had only taken two days.

"Edward," I marveled, "How did this get fixed so soon?"

"Obscene amounts of money!" He declared smiling.

I rolled my eyes not even bothering to mention anything else on that subject.

"Alice," Edward said, "What is this all about?"

"It's about Bella," she answered, worry still in her voice.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Bella," she began, "has Edward ever talked to you about the prophecy?"

As I shook my head, Edward stood straight up, "Alice," he said somewhat agitated, "what are you talking about?"

"You already know what I'm talking about Edward, she sneered tapping her head."

"That's ridiculous!" He said sarcastically.

"I've seen it Edward."

"It's not really even a prophecy Alice; at most you could call it conjecture."

"Ah…wait…" I tried to interject.

"I've still seen it Edward," Alice insisted.

"Wait," I interrupted, "What have you seen Alice, and what prophecy is she talking about Edward?"

Alice sat and looked at Edward waiting for him to explain.

Edward growled under his breath in frustration, and began.

"There has been a belief among our kind for a very long time that there would be a central figure coming sometime in the future, which would unite the covens into a more civilized society, helping them to get along better, ending the wars.. This person would have knowledge of our history and would help us avoid the mistakes of the past. This person would also help vampires to get along better with the human world. This figure has been waited upon for thousands of years. The first to look for him was an elder vampire known as Nargalzius. He lived over a thousand years, but un-like Marcus, Caius and Aro, but he was not sinister or profane. He pursued learning and knowledge, and like us he was vegetarian."

"Was?" I said. "Is he dead?"

"No one really knows for sure; but he hasn't been seen in over three hundred years, so the general consensus is yes."

"Ok," I said, "So what does that have to do with us? Do you think this person, this leader is Carlisle?"

"No," Alice said seriously, "It isn't Carlisle."

"Well, you said you've seen it Alice, who is it?"

Alice just continued to look at Edward, and Edward looked back. He wore a cautious, perturbed face.

"Who is it?" I asked.

Still they said nothing.

"Alice?" I said.

"It's not Carlisle" she said again, "it's you Bella."

I did a double take and said, "I'm sorry, what?"

"The one who will unite our society and bring peace is you Bella."

I looked over at Edward who just sat shaking his head.

"Alice, how could it possibly be me? I've only been a vampire for a couple of weeks! I don't know anything about uniting a society or how to teach anyone to avoid the mistakes of the past."

"But you _do_ know our past Bella." I was shocked when Edward spoke up. "You have more knowledge of our past than perhaps any vampire alive. Aro's gift, remember?"

I thought about the thousands of years of memories that Aro had downloaded into my mind. Memories assimilated from the myriad of vampires he had encountered in his lifetime. His long life had given him unique insight to the world around him. There was literally an unlimited supply of history rolling around in my head, I knew I couldn't deny that. Still, I was recovering from my difficulties at La Push and now to be faced with having to _lead_ the vampire world into peace? This was beyond bizarre even for me.

"You two don't actually expect me to do this do you?" I asked. "There has to be someone better suited for this than me."

"I've seen it Bella, that's all," Alice defended, "I'm not choosing it for you."

I looked at Edward, "And what about you Edward?"

"Bella, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. But it does seem a strange coincidence that you would have the knowledge that this person would need, and no one cares for people as much as you do Bella. Look at the pity you had for Bree, even though you knew if she had had the chance, she would have killed you. Whoever does this Bella, will need not just knowledge, but a great deal of compassion, and you have more than almost anyone I've ever known."

I stared at them no knowing what else to say, but I could tell in their eyes, that this was what they expected to happen. I could just refuse, I thought, I could just refuse to go to Volterra at all. I could stay in Florence while the rest of the family went on, but then remembering my incident at La Push, I was afraid to be left alone. I was feeling a bit desperate and said, "Edward, Alice, It…I…it can't be me! Besides, I don't know how to do what your asking me!

"You won't be alone Bella."

We all turned suddenly to Carlisle standing behind us by the door.

"Alice told me about what she saw before we left Forks. I can see this being a real help to us at the gathering."

"How can I possibly help?" I asked.

"You can explain your agreement with Aro, and explain it just as you explained it to Aro. No one is expecting you to perform miracles Bella, just to do your best to present your vision of a just leadership for our kind."

I looked at their faces, and could see that they were serious. I was never good at public speaking, and I didn't think my abilities were much improved despite my change.

I looked at Edward who tilted his head to one side and said with a slight smile, "You do have a choice Bella, we aren't going to force you to do this you know."

"But you'd like me to?" I asked as though I already knew his answer.

"I only want you to be happy Bella, but I think you would be the best choice for this, yes."

"You all know I want to help, so I guess I don't _have_ much of a choice."

"That's not true Bella," Carlisle said. "You do have a choice."

It didn't feel like it.

"Well I choose to help then." I said with finality.

"Thank you Bella, he added. "Your being there will make all the difference I believe."

After the decision was made that I would present my ideas at the gathering, I finished my sandwich and pasta, we joined the rest of the family in the passenger cabin. Rosalie and Emmett were huddled together in one corner, Jasper and Eleazar were discussing a climb up Mt. McKinley when we got back, and Kate, Carmen and Esme were talking about shopping in Rome after the gathering. Alice joined Jasper and Eleazar, and Carlisle took a seat next to Esme. He took her delicate hand and kissed it ever so gently before taking into his on his lap. Carlisle and Esme were not as outward about their relationship as the rest of us, but there was a quiet, passionate love between them that was evident in every gesture and look. It was truly touching to see how kind and considerate they were of each other, and how loving. I looked at Edward, and couldn't believe anyone could love each other as much as we did, but it was obvious they did. As I was studying his face Edward asked, "Would you like to see the cockpit and meet the crew?"

I must have gone ashen, because he took me in his arms and asked more urgently, "Bella, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I said a bit shakey. "But do you really think I should be in such close proximity to humans right now? I mean after yesterday, isn't it better if I'm not?"

"Bella, we hunted before we left, and you just ate. I think you'll be ok until we land at least."

I wasn't convinced, but I nodded. I actually _was_ interested in seeing the cockpit.

We passed through the galley, around a cargo dumbwaiter, until we came to a metal door. Edward rapped a couple of times, and opened the door. As he talked with the pilot, I caught a whiff of what reminded me of a burger and fries. It caused a slight tingle in my throat, but I was fine. The voice was quiet, and I didn't feel hungry. We walked through the door, and the pilot offered his hand to me. I remembered to be careful not to squeeze too hard, and said it was nice to meet him.

He stared at my eyes and answered…ah…thank you Mrs.…a …Cullen. Next I was introduced to the Co-pilot. His reaction was pretty much the same. After the Pilot and Co-Pilot turned back to their duties, Edward explained the different parts of the plane. He talked about the range of the plane and its safety record. He seemed to know everything about it.

"Maybe you should just fly the plane yourself," I joked.

"Well, I could," he said, "but it would be pretty hard to hold you and pilot at the same time."

"Edward," I asked, "do you know how to fly a plane?"

"I have a pilot's license yes."

"Is there anything you can't do?" I already had decided the answer was no.

He smiled a wry smile and said, "I can't eat food."

I laughed and said, "smart aleck!"

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me and said, "I love it when you laugh Bella."

"It's better than my tears and tirades I guess."

"Only because I know you're happy when you're laughing love, and I want you to be happy."

"Being with you makes me happy Edward. I can face anything as long as we're together."

"Well, then I guess we'll face this gathering right?"

"Right," I sighed.

We rejoined the family and I spent the rest of the flight thinking about how to be a vampire diplomat.

When we exited the plane, it was early morning, around three AM. Waiting for us on the tarmac was a bus. On the side it were the words _Bacio di giro private. _I was a bit perturbed that my ability to understand Italian that I had when occupying my Volturi hosts, had not stuck with me. I leaned over to Edward and asked, "What does that say?"

"Private Tour Bus," he answered.

I felt a bit dense realizing the last word should have given it away. We loaded up and were on our way. The moon was full and bright as we drove through the Italian countryside, casting a fairytale like glow to the rolling hills and white houses. Stars were flickering behind the moonlight, and the entire scene filled me with wanderlust. It pushed away the thoughts of the macabre gathering we were headed to. I snuggled against Edward's chest and said, "The moonlight is so pretty on the hills isn't it."

"Yes," he said, "it is Bella. I promise love, when this is done, we'll take some time and travel."

"Where will we go?" I asked.

"Anywhere, everywhere, where ever you want. It doesn't matter, as long as we're together. I just want to begin enjoying life together Bella. I want us to have time with no danger, no decisions, no pressure; just you and me Bella, with nothing to do but enjoy each other, love each other."

I suddenly wanted it more than anything else; just to be with Edward, just to be together.

"How soon can we go?" I asked.

"Just as long as it takes to finish up this mess, get back to Forks and pack."

"Oh, wait," I said remembering something, "We can't go until after Jacob and Leah's wedding ok?"

"That's right," he said hiding his disappointment, "After the wedding then."

"It's a date!" I said smiling.

Edward pulled me across his chest and brushing my hair away from my face, said, "Eternity will not be enough time with you Bella, not nearly enough." Then he kissed me.

As we drove through the gates of Volterra across the Viale dei Ponti, I remembered my last trip here. When Alice and I raced to save Edward. The desperation came rushing back and I pulled myself tighter to him. "What is it?" He asked.

"Bad memories" I said.

"I'm sorry Bella, so sorry you had to come here for that. I should have never entertained such a foolish thought. You were right you know."

"About what?" I asked.

"About us having it wrong, not wanting to live without each other. I never understood that until Alaska. I never expected you in my life Bella, I wasn't prepared to love someone like I love you. I never had that even when I was human. My feelings for you were so overwhelming…" He laughed and added, "well you remember biology."

I smiled and let him continue.

"Once I had your love in return, I couldn't imagine not having it, not having you. But I finally realized that I will always have your love in my heart Bella. I still can't imagine life without you, but I know I won't ever have to live without your love."

I just held him and nodded. It was a lesson we had both learned at no small cost, but was one we would never forget.

The sky was just beginning to show the faintest sign of dawn when the bus pulled over by the main entrance to the Piazza dei Priori, a name I would never forget. As we walked through the plaza, Alice gave me a knowing smile and nod. Finally, we came to the doors of the Castle that had been the home of Aro, Cauis, and Marcus and the rest of the Voturri. We passed through the door and into what had been the reception area. No one was there, and I suddenly thought about Gianna. I wondered if Jane had kept her promise to her and changed her, or if she had simply killed her. I felt a sense of sadness for her, despite her performance at the wedding. We passed through the inner doors into the anti-chamber and then into the turret room where the three masters had held audience. Two female vampires along with several males met us; some Edward told me, had been in the attack at Lake Wonder.

The women were beautiful of course, and looked almost regal. There was a sadness about them though; it almost hung in the air. I was apprehensive having to facing the guards from Lake Wonder again, but Edward reminded me that they'd been given a choice to return here, and they were not likely to come against us again. I accepted that, and then asked, "Who are the two women? They seem so sad."

"Sulpicia and Athenodora; they're Aro and Cauis's wives; they're grieving for them."

"Edward," I said, trying to be as delicate as I could. "I know this sounds terrible, but given their attitude towards family connections, how could the wives be so grieved at their loss? I mean I didn't think vampires who drank human blood were able to make emotional connections like that."

"Perhaps because they were companions for so long they developed feelings despite their instinct. After all, you remember, my first instinct was to kill you. If I've learned nothing else from you Bella, it's that we are not just slaves to our instincts, we can defy those instincts when the prize is worth fighting for."

As I looked at the wives, I suddenly began to see memories passing through my mind of Aro and Sulpicia. Some were of an intimate nature, others were disturbing scenes of hunting and feeding. But many had a strange tenderness about them. It didn't feel like love to me, at least it wasn't the same as Edward's and mine. But they did shared poetry, and art, and talked about hundreds of years of history; they appreciated so much about each other, I was surprised. I looked at Edward and was surprised to feel tears wanting to come. I didn't know if it was empathy for the wives, or Edward's sentiments. I blinked back the tears, gave his hand a squeeze, and waited as Carlisle and Eleazar approached the wives.

Carlisle greeted the wives, "Sulpicia, Athenodora, it is good to see you again, I am sorry for your losses."

"Was it not you and your family's doing that were to blame for Aro's demise?" Sulpicia hissed.

I decided I should do some damage control, but I also wanted to ease the pain I was sure she was feeling at Aro's loss.

"Sulpicia," I nodded and began, "I'm Bella. Aro and I communicated after Jane killed Marcus and Caius, and took over here."

Athenodora gave out one tearless sob.

"Yes," Sulpicia said with obvious disdain, "I remember you from your previous visit. You were not one of us then, but Aro was quite taken with you."

I nodded and continued, "Aro was aiding us in our fight against Jane and her conspirators and he was killed. He was very helpful and we are grateful for his assistance."

I knew that Aro had been corrupt even to the end, and I was sure as close as they had been that Sulpicia knew it too. But I could not make her suffer anymore than she already was, by revealing his betrayal, and the snare I caught him in. Maybe I was wrong, perhaps she really didn't have the depth of feeling for him that I imagined, but though her face didn't seem to show a change in her attitude, she nodded in recognition. It was enough confirmation for me.

Carlisle looked at me with a scrutinizing eye, and after I nodded, he smiled approvingly at me.

"Before he died," Carlisle went on, "Aro entered into an agreement and plan with us. To co-govern our society to the betterment of our kind, and to end the type of ruthless treatment that Volterra became associated with thanks to Jane."

Sulpicia sneered at the re-mentioning of Jane's name. Carlisle continued.

"We have appealed to differing factions of vampires to join us tomorrow for a gathering to discuss and agree on this alliance, with your consent of course."

"I have no claim over Volterra that I wish to make," Sulpicia answered, "My only tie to this place was Aro. I believe I can speak for Athenodora as well on this matter." Athenodora nodded in agreement, but made no attempt to address us.

"Have your gathering, make your decisions, Athenodora and I will be leaving before you convene. Through the anti-chamber and below you will find lounges for your convenience. You may wait in comfort there for your guests to arrive."

"You are most generous Sulpicia, we will not forget your hospitality, but would you not prefer to be part of our discussions? Our decisions will affect you as well."

"I'm sure we will hear of the outcome, but we have no stomach for such things anymore."

As they began to leave Sulpicia turned and added, "These few guard are what is left of Jane's traitorous rabble, do what you will with them. Peace to you Carlisle, and good luck."

With that, both disappeared through a side door.

Edward put his arm around me and said, "That was so kind of you Bella, especially when she probably can't appreciate it."

"I don't know Edward," I said, "I think she appreciates more than we know."

He just nodded and kissed my forehead.

Carlisle then addressed the few remaining guard. "We showed you mercy in Alaska, now we would like to know if you would like to keep your duties as guards here in Volterra. Your duties will not be the ruthless executions that you carried out under Jane's authority, but you will be expected to carry out your duties loyally. One of the guard, apparently the spokesperson, stepped forward.

"I em Giovani, "he began in a heavy accent, "I hab a-ben chose to eh-spake for dose ev us ah-who reman.

Carlisle answered in perfect Italian, "Parlo italiano se preferiste."

Edward translated for me, "I speak Italian if you would prefer."

Giovani answered back, "Grazie signore, quello lo rende più facile."

"Thank you sir, that does make it easier," Edward translated.

Edward continued the translation of the conversation.

Giovani spoke,_"Non siamo ignari della misericordia e della bontà li avete mostrati nell'Alaska, permettendo che noi rinviamo alla nostra sede. In cambio, ci impegniamo per realizzare le nostre funzioni precedenti come protezioni qui a Volterra e dovunque altro il vostro servizio richieda."_

"We are not ignorant of the mercy and kindness you showed us in Alaska, allowing us to return to our home. In return, we are committed to perform our former duties as guards here at Volterra, and wherever else your service demands."

Carlisle answered, _"Apprezziamo quel Giovani. Insistiamo che tutti assistete alla riunione ed ascoltate i cambiamenti proporremo nel governare del nostro genere. Inoltre discuteremo le differenze nel giudizio e nella punizione. Sarà abbastanza differente dalle funzioni che avete realizzato sotto Jane ed i padroni. Sarà ogni scelta dei vampires se o non abbracciare il lifestyle che suggeriamo, ma tutto sarà tenuto a vivere secondo le leggi installeremo per il miglioramento della nostra società. In termini di queste leggi, sarete tenuti a condurre dall'esempio. Potete fate quello?"_

"We appreciate that Giovani. We insist you all attend the gathering and listen to the changes we will propose in the governing of our kind. We will also discuss the differences in judgment and punishment. It will be quite different from the duties you performed under Jane and the masters. It will be each vampires choice whether or not to embrace the lifestyle we will suggest, but everyone will be required to live under the laws we will set up for the betterment of our society. In terms of these laws, you will be required to lead by example. Can you do that?"

"_Siamo il vostro padrone humble dei servents. Considereremo con attenzione i cambiamenti di lifestyle e facciamo il nostro la cosa migliore per vivere da loro. Assolutamente in tensione dalle leggi voi ci regoleremo per la nostra società. Se ci è niente altrimenti, andrò discutere questo con le altre protezioni e faremo le preparazioni per assicurare la riunione"_

"We are your humble servants master, we will consider the lifestyle changes carefully, and do our best to live by them. We will absolutely live by the laws you set for our society. If there is nothing else, I will go and discuss this with the other guards, and we will make preparations to secure the gathering."

"_Il primo cambiamento che di lifestyle dovete fare è di accettare che non avete padroni qui, soltanto cittadini del collega. Se il resto della nostra società li accetta come il corpo governante, serviremo quella società, per non regolarli. Se posso andare con voi discutere questo con l'altra protezione, li lascerò sapere come gradiremmo la riunione organizzata e potete facilitare quello. Giusto diami un momento."_

"The first lifestyle change you must make is to accept that you have no masters here, only fellow citizens. If the rest of our society accepts us as the governing body, we will serve that society, not rule it. My name is Carlisle, and would be most honored for you to call me by my name. If I may go with you to discuss this with the other guard, I will let you know how we would like the gathering organized, and how you can facilitate that. Just give me one moment."

_Poichè desiderate il signore…eh…Carlisle, attenderò anti nell'alloggiamento con le altre protezioni _"As you wish sir…Carlisle, I will wait in the anti chamber with the other guards."

With that Giovani left.

It always amazed me how accomplished Edward and his family were in terms of knowledge, culture and custom. I knew I had an eternity to learn as well, but I wondered if I would ever catch up. I doubted it.

Before he turned to join the guard, Carlisle said, "When I am through, we need to discuss exactly how we will present our proposal to the covens."

"We'll go downstairs to the lounge and wait for you," Edward answered.

Before Carlisle went downstairs there was something I had to say, "Carlisle, I have one more thing I need to address that has bothered me since my last trip here."

"Of course Bella, what is it?"

"Edward once told me that Volterra was the safest city in the world from Vampire attack. He was not quite correct." I looked at Edward and continued. "While we were here, a group of people were lured into this room, with Aro's greet..." my voice trailed off as a few tears accompanied the memory of that day.

"Bella, it's alright," Edward put his arm around me.

"NO," I said, "It's not alright Edward! I steeled myself so I could continue, "With Aro's greeting they were lured into this chamber and slaughtered like animals! That can never happen here again! If that is not insisted upon, I will not serve on this panel."

I looked into Carlisle's compassionate eyes, and saw that although he agreed with me, what I was asking would be difficult to insist on. My face softened and I added, "I'm not naïve enough to think that it will never go on anywhere in the world, but if this is to be the seat of government for our kind, it can never happen here! Lead by example, correct?"

"Correct," Edward answered.

Carlisle looked at us, smiled, and said, "Correct."

I hugged my father-in-law, and said, "Thank you Carlisle, I know I'm a pain sometimes, well most of the time I guess."

"You are a breath of fresh air Bella, and I think we've been overdue for one for more than a few years."

"I hope the rest of the vampires agree with you Carlisle."

"Well, we can hope for the best Bella. I'd better go now and talk with the guard."

With that, Carlisle left the turret room. We took a side door, and followed a stone staircase that spiraled down to the floor below. It reminded me of the tunnels that Aro was hiding in when I connected with him. I began to see visions of Aro's journeys through the castle. Passageways and rooms the average visitor would have no way of knowing about. I decided someday to explore, but then wondered if there would be anything I didn't want to find. I shuddered and held onto Edward's hand.

Below were a series of doors leading to individual lounges. Edward and I chose the first door, and found it opened into a lushly appointed room. It had the appearance of a sultan's tent. It had accents of both Arabic and Turkish influences. Large satin pillows were piled under a canopy of rich paisley material thick and trimmed with gold beaded tassels. There was a Turkish water pipe, and tray with what I assumed was a tea set, decorative of course.

"Wow," I said, "Talk about a theme room!"

"Yes well," Edward said, "They did enjoy their indulgences here."

"I could use a little indulgence," I said. I suddenly felt extremely comfortable. I wondered if the plane trip was catching up with me. I still could not ascertain if my sleeping was because I was tired, or for some other unexplained reason. I laid down on the pillows with Edward in tow. I curled up into his arms and closed my eyes.

"Are you going to sleep forever?" Edward asked. I opened my eyes and looked into his face, smiling and handsome. "What do you want to do today?" He asked.

"Anything as long as were together," I answered.

"We could climb McKinley, it's so high you feel like you're touching the sky."

I pulled him close to my lips and whispered, "We don't need to climb a mountain to touch the sky Edward." Then I kissed him…

"Bella? Bella sweetheart, can you wake up?"

I opened my eyes, and met Edward's gaze again. He smiled and asked, "You want to touch the sky?"

I blushed remembering my dream, and said, "Just looking forward to our time together."

"As am I love, as am I. Just a little while and we can be off."

"How long was I out this time?"

"Not long" he said, "just a couple of hours."

"Anything interesting happen while I was asleep?"

"A few of the covens have arrived, and Sulpicia and Athenodora left."

"I feel so sorry for them in a way, I said."

"Yes I know love. I doubt any other vampire would afford them any compassion, not after the way Aro and the others allowed Jane to deal with things."

"It wasn't their fault, they're only guilty of caring about their mates."

"It seems in some circles that's enough to be guilty."

"Well, I hope they find some peace, and I hope eventually they will try to be vegetarians."

Edward pulled me to his chest and said, "You are so kind Bella, I don't think any of us deserve you."

I just shook my head, and leaned against him.

"Why don't we take a walk, and see some of the city before we leave, hmm? I'd love for you to see how beautiful the city is, despite the bad memories."

"Love to" I answered.

Then there was a knock at the door, and Alice came bouncing in. "Good morning you two; did you have a nice sleep Bella?"

"Yes, thanks Alice," I answered.

"Well, you're both needed upstairs, we need to discuss how we will present the proposal, and a set of laws."

"Wow," I said, "this is going to be a heavy day isn't it?"

"You didn't think you were going to get away without some more drama did you?" Alice teased.

"Knock it off Alice," Edward interrupted.

"I think I better eat something if that's possible," I said.

Edward scrutinized my eyes.

"I'm ok," I assured him, "I just want to make sure I can go the distance without any interruptions."

"Ok," he said, "Let's get you some food brought in."


	30. Detente

30. Détente

Upstairs, in an office off the anti-chamber, a large conference table and chairs were waiting for us. Carmen and Eleazar were there, as well as Carlisle and Jasper. Edward was on his sat phone ordering food for me, as we took our seats with the others. As soon as Edward ended his phone call, we began.

"Well I suppose," Carlisle said, "We should just begin. I think the first thing we must address to the gathering is what exactly happened with Jane and the masters. They need to know about Jane's coup attempt, and the battle in Alaska. I do not think however, we should mention the Quileute's participation. I have talked to the guards, and they have sworn their silence about them."

I was relieved for Jacob and the others. I hadn't thought about the danger, their part in the war might put them in. "Thank you Carlisle," I said.

He nodded and continued. "It is absolutely imperative we stress there was no alternative to our destroying Jane. I think Bella, since you began the ruse with Sulpicia, we will not mention Aro's treachery either. It will give more credibility to the necessity of destroying Jane, if it was in defense of Aro.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Next," he continued, "we need to discuss a set of laws that will be effective in governing our society and will be palatable to that society."

"Palatable?" I asked. "Are you saying we should only create laws that they like?"

"Well Bella," Carlisle answered, "We are not the Volturi, and we are not putting ourselves in the role of rulers. If they accept this panel, it will only be to help govern, and a governing body must be responsible to the governed, don't you agree?"

I nodded.

"Then the laws we propose must be reasonable in their view. I'm not saying they have to like everything about them, but if we push them too much, they may simply refuse our leadership and walk out. The guard will attend as a show of force, so there will still be the assumed threat of consequences. So having said that we need to create them based on what is best for our society."

"Well," I said, "the only law you…_we_," I corrected myself, "have ever had was to keep our existence secret, correct?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered, "That is correct. Of course we all know, there have been more than a few violations of that law."

"I suppose it should probably still be the case, "I said, "but how do we enforce a law that we ourselves are currently breaking? Charlie and Sue, and Jacob and the rest of the pack all know about us. Does it have to be a law, can't it just be a common agreement among vampires, that our existence is to be kept secret?"

"I see your point Bella, "he said," I suppose given our current circumstances that will be the best way to proceed with that issue. Moving past that, we must have a law concerning rogues and warring factions. I see that as the biggest threat not only to our kind, but to the humans as well. I have discussed this with Eleazar, and he has tentatively agreed with the following:

Wars between factions must stop. It is wasteful and destructive, and promotes slaughter of vampires and humans. Warring factions will be required to send representatives to meet here in Volterra with this panel, to discuss their issues, and to come to a solution. There must be peace.

For those who continue to sustain themselves with human blood, there must be conservation, no slaughtering of massive amounts of people. Only what is absolutely necessary. And we will suggest that they choose their targets carefully and thoughtfully; taking into consideration of the impact of their kills on both the local and global society of humans."

I felt sick, discussing the murder of people like we were discussing the fate of the spotted owl. It made me angry, and agitated, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I had to sit and listen as we decided the best way to facilitate the killing of innocent people. It was all the more reason I had to try to make the others see the wisdom of our lifestyle.

Carlisle's voice broke into my thoughts, "Rogue vampires must be dealt with quickly and decisively. I do not want to repeat the mindless and cruel slaughters that Jane inflicted, but a rogue who resists any other intervention must be eliminated."

I realized Carlisle was looking directly at me, and I nodded; but my face obviously gave away my feelings on the matter of elimination.

"Bella," Carlisle said gently, "I know you are thinking of the case of the newborn Bree, and believe me when I say, that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about a case like Victoria. Who deliberately and cruelly created an army of newborns, and unleashed them on Seattle. We cannot allow that to happen, as it endangers the people and our secrecy."

"I understand that Carlisle, and I agree someone like Victoria, should be eliminated, but what about the newborns? Are they just collateral damage; unfortunate victims? What happens to them?"

"I wish I had an answer, "he said, "One or two would not be a problem, but when so many are created at once, as was the case in Seattle, it hard to know how else to deal with them."

They all looked at me as though they actually expected me to come up with an answer. I was about to say I didn't know either when an idea suddenly popped into my head. "A school." I said.

"A school?" Eleazar repeated. "What do you mean Bella?"

"We all have attended human schools, right?" They all nodded. "What about a school for vampires, newborns. A school where they can learn not only control, but vegetarianism. And about our history, how much tragedy and waste has gone on because of the lust for human blood? It could be it in a remote location, where there are plenty of animals, but few people. We could teach them a better way to live before they become slaves to their instincts. We could teach them that there is more fulfillment in the emotional ties of love, friends and family than giving into their bloodlust. Then maybe they could see humans differently, not just cattle for the slaughter."

I looked at their faces; all of them were still and pondering. I waited for the laughter at my idea, but it didn't come. A smile did however spread across Carlisle's face.

"Bella," he said, "I think you have just come up with the best idea I have ever heard for dealing with newborns. I think this could really work. What do you think Eleazar?"

"I'm not sure how we could coordinate such a thing. Surely there would be those who would try to refuse to be educated. However, I think it is a sound idea, I think it might really be possible."

"It would take some time to facilitate," Carlisle added "and we would need volunteers to first isolate and control each newborn. That would be the most difficult part. Then we would need teachers, to teach the history and the wisdom of our lifestyle. It would not be a simple undertaking, but I believe you have really come up with a viable option for us in this matter, thank you Bella. We_ will_ talk more about this, but for now we must continue with the laws."

Edward leaned over, took my chin in his hand, and looked deeply into my eyes for a few moments. Finally he said, "Is there anything _you_ can't do?" Then he kissed me, until Carlisle cleared his throat to bring us back to attention.

"To continue," He said smiling, "Rogues will be dealt with quickly and decisively, and if we can put Bella's idea into practice, newborns will be given the opportunity to be educated and learn a better way of existence. _IF_, however," he emphasized, "they refuse the opportunity of education, then we will have no alternative but to eliminate them as well."

He looked at me and said, "It will be their choice Bella, but if they refuse, _we_ will have no choice. Can you agree with that?"

I nodded and said, "Yes. As much as it bothers me, I do see the necessity of that."

I knew Bree had agreed to be taught, and I wanted to believe if Jane hadn't had Felix murder her, she might have lived a worthwhile life. But I knew that would not always be the case. My own monster did not even crave Edward's help, let alone education. Knowing there would be those who would refuse, and would forfeit their existence for that refusal, made me sad inside.

"That brings me to the subject of creating newborns in general. Do we want to create laws concerning that?"

"I think we have to," Edward replied. "All of you know I was reluctant even with my love for her, to change Bella. In the end it was the only way to save her life, but I still didn't want it for her. I don't think we should feel free to arbitrarily change humans into vampires. Humans have a life; we don't have the right to end that life, even if it's to give them immortality."

"And if they choose immortality?" I asked with a half smile.

"I still think it shouldn't be so easy to pull someone away from their human life." He said smirking back at me.

"I think Edward has brought up a very good point," Jasper said. "Our society is precarious as it is, and we must have some control over the creation of newborns into that society."

"So what should the criteria be?" Carlisle asked.

"Why don't we keep it simple," Alice chimed in. "How about love and choice?" She smiled in my direction, I smiled back.

"If a vampire and a human love each other, and the human wants to make the change, then allow it. If one of them is not willing then the answer would be no."

I looked at Edward; he shook his head slightly and said "What about another scenario; when a vampire loves a human, and that human is near death and the vampire wishes to save them, but the human is unable to choose, what then?"

"Please may I say something on this subject?"

We all turned around and saw Rosalie approaching the table. She, Esme and Emmett had been watching silently from the door.

"I know I am not on the panel, and was not invited here, but I do have an opinion I would like heard."

"Rosalie," Carlisle began, this panel intends to govern, not to rule, and no one is excluded. You are welcome to be here, participate, even sit on the panel if you feel strongly about it."

"No thank you Carlisle," she said smiling but obviously appreciative of his words. "I don't think I would be the right person to sit on this panel, I only want to be heard on this subject."

"Whatever you wish Rosalie," Carlisle said.

"Thank you," she said and continued. "I like what you have been saying about choice, and that brings me to what I have to say. I have come to terms with my life, and I do appreciate being saved from death. I have so many blessings, I count myself lucky." She turned and smiled at Emmett, who just winked at her as she continued. "But there are other things that I will never have, that I regret. Not that I _would_ have had them; without Carlisle's intervention, I would have died. Now however, I must forever live with the pain of not having those things. I believe that no one should be changed without consent, even if that means his or her death. Humans die, that is their reality. We should not interfere with that unless the person has given their prior consent to be changed. I don't want anyone going through that experience, and waking to this life that has not chosen it for themselves, that is all."

"I agree with Rosalie," Edward said. "I think humans have a right to decide their fate, and we have no right to take that from them."

I knew there were so many peripheral issues to this subject, but I only nodded in agreement. I thought about Emily; I could not try to save her, knowing it would not be what she wanted and I really could see Rosalie and Edward's point of view. I also knew it would be a difficult area to make decisions on, but it had to begin somewhere. I suddenly wondered if this subject was uncomfortable for Carlisle. Rosalie hadn't mentioned him, but I couldn't help but remember that it was Carlisle that had changed her; Edward and Esme too. I wondered if he felt guilty about it now. He had saved all of them from death, but Rosalie had regretted Carlisle changing her. Now however, she seemed to be more accepting of it.

I was continuing to ruminate about it when Carlisle spoke, "So are we in agreement with Rosalie on this point?" We all nodded. "Then he said there is really only one more issue, the guard and the carrying out of sentences."

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, and Edward put his arm around me. "I know this is a hard subject for you love, but even you have admitted there is a time and a place for it."

"I know Edward, but we've seen so much death in the last six months, and I'm sick over it. I hate to think of more, even when it's necessary."

He just nodded and tightened his hug, and continued to listen to Carlisle.

"The guards are quite willing to resume their duties, and to attempt to adopt our lifestyle. I have told them that Jane's ruthless tactics are at an end, and they seem very happy to hear it. However, I am afraid there is no gentle way to carry out a sentence of death for our kind, due to the fact our attributes make us difficult to kill. We can be sure it will be done as quickly as possible, with no taunts or unnecessary cruelty."

We discussed the subject at some length, scenarios of when it would be needed, how to best guarantee that it would not expose us, etc.

Finally, we all agreed to the laws we'd discussed, to the school I proposed, and the necessity of a death sentence. Then Carlisle addressed the last issue we were concerned with. "We have agreed," he said, "that should the gathered covens refuse to this panel's position of governorship we will choose one representative, and ask for representatives from the other covens. You all have asked that I serve as the representative from this group."

We all nodded in agreement.

"I would like to request, that Bella accompany me as a co-representative. She has the resource of Aro's memories, and I think that an important tool for our leadership. But she also has great compassion, and I think it may be more important and necessary than anything else."

Everyone looked in my direction, and having already made my decision to help, I nodded without pausing, but the blush of course gave me away.

"Good," he continued. "Should they accept this panel, it is my feeling that we should meet here in Volterra, every six months to attend to issues that may arise. And we must also be available to meet should circumstances require it more often."

We were all still in agreement. I knew that there couldn't be a more qualified person for this job than Carlisle. Then he said something that shocked me.

"We need to discuss with the others the advantages of our vegetarian lifestyle, and I believe it must be presented in two parts. One, using the wars to control the human blood as the example of the carnage and waste of drinking human blood, and two the fulfillment and contentment that is possible with the alternative. I think that Jasper should relay his experiences in the southern wars and the disloyalty and mistrust that accompanied those wars. I think his account of that period of time would be a valuable insight to part of our history. I also think that someone must tell them that there can be contentment without spilling human blood; that there can be the pursuit of personal relationships that are infinitely more fulfilling than the lust to feed. I believe that person should be Bella."

I stood up and said, "Me? Carlisle, why me? Why would they even listen to me? What can I possibly say to them to convince them?"

"You have the knowledge of Aro's years on this earth to form the explanation as to why it is a better way to live Bella. You can add to Jasper's description of the wars, by adding Aro's view of the wars that came before Jasper's time. And you can describe Aro himself, how he came to be what he was in the end. I know you have seen his emptiness; I saw it in his eyes when I stayed here with them all those years ago. But you can describe it from his perspective. You have those memories in your head Bella, use them for the betterment of our kind."

I sat back down, and simply nodded. I didn't know what else to say, but I was suddenly afraid of ruining everything with the wrong word, or gesture, or…I didn't know. I didn't know what was proper protocol for vampires. I was at a loss for words already. I didn't know what I was going to say. I looked at Edward and said, "What am I going to say to them Edward? How can I make them listen?"

"Edward looked at me, his face gentle but serious, and said, "Just say what's in your heart Bella, what you want them to know about why our lifestyle is more desirable. You have never failed to make me see your point Bella, because you speak from the heart. That is your greatest gift love, your heart, use it."

He smiled, put his hand to my cheek, and added, "What Aro gave you will help Bella, but it's only a tool. Yours is the voice they will hear, not Aro's."

I just pulled his arms around me, leaned against him, and felt grateful for my husband.

A knock on the door made us all look up. Giovani came in carrying a tray of food. He placed the food in front of me, and turned to Carlisle and said, _"il resto dei vostri covens è arrivato. Li abbiamo disposti nei salotti per attendere e stiamo installando il throne… lo scusiamo, la stanza della torretta. Abbiamo rimosso le sedie del padrone ed abbiamo disposto un'altre tabella e sedie come avete insegnato a. Siamo sedie di messa in opera per le altre pure. È ci niente altro Carlisle?"_

Carlisle answered, _"Grazie Giovani, quello è benissimo. Se poteste soddisfare sia preparato per portare l'altri quando siamo aspettiamo per loro."_

"_Come desiderate, vogliate lo scusano."_ Giovani answered and left.

"Excellent," Carlisle said. "The rest of the covens are here, and are waiting in the lounges. Bella, why don't you eat, and as soon as you are ready, we will begin. I've asked Giovani to be prepared to bring them into the turret room when we're ready. They have prepared a panel table and chairs, as well as chairs for the others."

Giovani had brought a delicious looking dish of manicotti and sausage. Edward, leaned his chin on one hand and smiled as he watched me eat. As I ate, I was reminded of our first un-official date in Port Angeles. This was far superior to the mushroom ravioli I had that night, but the company was the same, and could never be improved upon. I smiled back and asked, "Remember the mushroom…"

"…Ravioli," he finished my sentence. We both laughed.

We were all seated at the table in the turret room when the covens, escorted by the guards filed into the room, and took their seats. Although I was now one of them, they still had an ethereal look and feel to them that caused me to stare. A very few had the amber eyes of vegetarians, but most had the crimson red eyes of those that drank human blood. It was still a disturbing sight to me, although for other reasons. I did not fear them as I once had, but rather I feared for the people that they might harm. Looking at the group, I estimated there to be around a hundred and fifty, to two hundred vampires. It was strange to see so many vampires in one place.

Once they were seated, Carlisle rose and moved to the front of the panel table and began.

"I want to thank you all for coming, and so quickly answering our call. Many of you I know and call friends; Siobhan and Liam, Amun and Kebi, Stefan and Vladmimir, welcome my friends, it is a great pleasure to see you all. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Carlisle. The rest of our panel is as follows; Jasper, Alice, Eleazar, Carmen, Bella and Edward. We have asked you here to propose to you, a new form of leadership for our kind. As most of you have heard by now, the Volturri masters, Aro, Caius and Marcos are all dead; murdered through the mutiny of their first in command Jane. In turn, Jane, her officers and her guard brought an offensive against my family and our dear friends Carmen and Eleazar, who unfortunately lost two of their family members to the attack."

Carlisle graciously spared Carmen, Eleazar and Kate the pain and embarrassment of mentioning Tanya and Irina's true involvement.

"Jane and her co-conspirators, Alec, Felix, and Demetri, are dead, and a good number of the guard that joined them. The guard that are in attendance today agreed to stand down during the battle and to resume their duty here in Volterra. We felt it imperative to discuss new leadership, and how best to govern ourselves.

There were a few nods and murmurings, but no one objecting, Carlisle went on.

"We have tentatively convened this panel in an attempt to form a governing body. If you will accept us as at least initially, we will do our best to represent all of our society."

Carlisle pause for any reaction from the audience. When none came, Carlisle began to explain the system of leadership that we were purposing. He talked about the continued necessity of the existence our kind being kept secret from humans. He spoke about the laws we had decided on concerning turning humans, rogue vampires, warring covens and the slaughter of unnecessary numbers of humans. He also briefly touched on the subject of newborns. I knew he would bring the matter up again when he talked about the idea of a school. Next he talked about what we all knew would be the most controversial point of the gathering; the wisdom of adopting our vegetarian lifestyle. He explained that it would be each vampire's choice to embrace it or not, that we were not insisting on it, but only suggesting it, and that we would revisit the issue later. Finally, he explained that though Jane's tactics of cruelty were over, there would still be a death penalty if no other solution to a vampire's breaking the laws could be found. There was silence after that point, so Carlisle finished, and opened the floor up to the others to speak.

The first to stand and speak was a member of one of the southern covens in the US. Jasper obviously recognized him, nodding in recognition. He spoke with a heavy southern accent.

He nodded and introduced himself, "I am Garrett, from the Louisiana Coven. Before we go any further, I'd like to know how you _intend_ to govern? Do you intend to rule over us like kings, like the Volturri before you? Because quite frankly, I don't know anyone in the south who are sorry to see those…masters gone. We don't like being interfered with, and that's what they were best at."

I had a sinking feeling where this was going. I translated that to mean, he liked the idea that the Volturri not being able to interfere with their wars.

Carlisle answered him, "First of all if you mean will we interfere with your free will to live as you choose as individuals, we will not. We do however see a serious problem with the wars that seem to be a frequent occurrence in your area of the world." More than a few of the others verbally agreed with Carlisle as he continued. "Surely you must realize the precarious situation you put all of us in, when your violence escalates to the level of war?"

"We have a right to secure our interests," Garrett replied. "We have a right to sustain ourselves."

Eleazar spoke up, "No one questions your right to do that, but if you do not learn discretion and conservation, you will put us all in danger of discovery. You must see how this violence affects the rest of us, and in truth, that there is no need for it. The world is full of humans, there is no need to fight over their numbers to sustain yourselves."

Another of the southern coven stood and joined Garrett. He nodded and said, "I am William. We've heard about you vegetarians and your odd lifestyle. You say it will be our choice, and yet, unless I am wrong, your entire panel is vegetarian. Of course it's hard to tell with the one with green eyes, which persuasion is she?"

"Bella is vegetarian like the rest of us," Edward answered without emotion.

William gave me a strange sideways glance, and continued. "Is this leadership permanent, or will others be permitted the opportunity sit on this panel?"

Carlisle answered. "We will sit on this panel only as long as it is acceptable to the majority of the covens. If at any time, the majority wishes a change in leadership either partial or entirely, the seven members of this panel will step down. If in fact at this time, you do not accept the members of this panel, we propose that two of us, already elected by the others remain, and we will look to the rest of you to bring forth your own representatives with which to fill the rest of the panel seats. It will then be up to the collective covens to vote on those representatives, and choose those they feel will best govern our society as a whole. Since this issue has been raised, shall we settle it now? Can the rest of you accept this panel's leadership and trust us to represent you all in the governing of our kind? Let's make this simple, if you accept this panel's leadership, please signify by raising your hands."

"Before we vote," Garrett interrupted, "I want to know just how you suggest we settle the issue of territorial breeches by other covens. Whether you call it hoarding or not, it is the way we live. If you expect us to change that, what do you intend for us to do when disputes arise?"

Carlisle explained our proposed method of dealing with disputes, that the disputing sides send representatives to us, and we would hear all sides and do our best to settle disputes amicably. He stressed again the wastefulness of war, and necessity for peace.

There were a few more murmurings, but it seemed that it was an acceptable alternative, at least for now.

"Shall we continue with the vote?" Carlisle asked. There were no objections this time. "Then again, all those in acceptance of our leadership please raise your hand."

Remarkably, it was almost a unanimous vote. Even some of the southern covens raised their hands, including William. Garrett did not raise his hand, and in fact looked angry.

I leaned over to Edward and said, "I'm surprised most of them aren't objecting. I thought more of the southern coven would still object."

"They may not like everything about us," he said, "But knowing we are vegetarian, and therefore do not covet the human blood they refer to as their _interests_, they know we won't be pursuing our own interests in that area. It gives them a reasonable expectation that we will be fair and impartial. They obviously feel they can't trust each other to do that. And of course Carlisle's reputation has preceded him, at least with those who know him."

I nodded, somewhat relieved; but my relief was to be short lived.

"We thank you for your trust," Carlisle went on, "We will do our best to earn that trust. And let me say with as much reassurance as I can, we will represent both vegetarian and non-vegetarian alike as fairly and justly as we are able. Having said that, we would like to revisit that issue, though to many of you it seems strange. If you would indulge us, you may see that this lifestyle is one that could bring a more fulfilling existence for all of us, as well as a more peaceful one. We know that it is in all our nature's to seek human blood, but it is not the only choice in sustaining ourselves."

There were louder murmurings, especially from the Louisiana coven, but Carlisle raised his hand and said, "Please friends, hear me out, let me finish. We all the know the power of the thirst and bloodlust, and that it has caused some of the most horrific wars of our history. To help remind us of that, I would like my son Jasper to tell us of his experiences in the southern wars."

He nodded for Jasper to come forward, and took his seat. Jasper stood up and proceeded to relay his experiences in the blood wars of the south, from his being turned by Maria, to his abandoning her with his friends Peter and Charlotte. He told how Charlotte was condemned by Maria to be destroyed simply because she had served her purpose and was of no other use to her. He told how so many newborns had met that horrible fate and by his hand; murdered to rid Maria of the burden of their numbers, and the possible competition they might pose to her. He explained how depressed the constant pursuit of human blood, and destroying of sentient beings left him. His retelling of his story took me back to the first time he told me of his long years in the wars. I remembered how much I appreciated his heart and his love for Alice and the family. He then talked about Alice, and how together they found the Cullen's and found a better way of life. He was honest and said it hadn't always been easy to live our lifestyle but the benefits were worth every effort.

After he sat down, Carlisle then introduced me. "I would next like to introduce Bella. Bella is the newest addition to our family and has a unique perspective on this issue. She is an important part of our panel, and brings with her the history of our kind imparted to her from Aro before he was destroyed by Jane."

The onlookers whispered among themselves and looked at me with suspicion, I assumed in part due to my appearance. My eyes did not fall into either category of vampire, and it caused more than a few of them to stare.

"Bella would you please come and address us?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded and as I stood Edward took my hand, and said, "From your heart love."

I smiled and walked around to join Jasper. He began to turn and sit down, but my face must have betrayed my insecurity, and he stopped and leaned against the table.

"Before she begins," one of the vampires seated said, "please explain what manner of vampire she is."

I stiffened, and Jasper moved closer to my side. Carlisle stood again and moved to the front of the table.

"Bella," Carlisle said, "is a bit different from the rest of us. She retains some of her human traits, due to we believe, a previous bite. We are still observing her, and do not yet know her true potential as of yet. She is a vampire nonetheless, and one of our family.

The vampire seemed content with the short answer. Carlisle nodded, and took his seat again. I looked at the pale faces and crimson eyes, and felt very intimidated. But I had a feeling of calm, and suddenly remembered how wonderful it was to have Jasper by my side. I looked over at him and smiled, and mouthed a silent thank you to him. He smiled and winked at me, and I began.

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak with you today. I was not sure what I would say to you, but I think the best way for me to explain the wisdom of our lifestyle is to tell you what I have experienced since I first met the Cullen family."

I began my story from the first day I came to Forks. I talked about all my experiences with Edward and his family. I covered the entire two years that had brought me to the point of my being there speaking to them. I compared the Cullen's and their kindness and compassion for each other to the ruthless cruelty of James, Victoria, and of course Jane. I explained the day of our war with Victoria, and the cruel execution of poor Bree, despite her willingness to be taught and learn control. I talked about everything, but was careful to leave out any mention of the Jacob or the Quileutes. I brought up the gift that Aro had given me, and the long history of his memory. I recounted wars and carnage and talked about the loneliness and despair that I sensed in his memory. I told how so long a life without the emotional ties of family and love, had become a burden more than a pleasure; how he had devoted his life to feeding and diversion. I painted a picture of an empty life; empty because he couldn't really share it despite his strange connection with Caius and Marcos. He did have closeness with Sulpicia, but the truth was her tie to him was stronger than his tie to her. I pointed out that his emptiness was one reason he became complacent about Jane, and how it resulted in her cruelty, and ultimately her attempt to rule over us.

Finally, I mentioned Edward's and my love for each other; how impossible such a relationship might be when the strongest passion was bloodlust. "We all will live for an indefinite time," I added, "forever perhaps. It is a long time to live in lethargy and stagnancy. There is so much more to live for with the joy of family and love. It may sound ridiculous to the rest of you, but our lives are so fulfilling and worthwhile, can you say that, any of you? I don't mean to be rude, I only wish to emphasize the benefits of the way we live. And I would respectfully ask that you truly consider our lifestyle to the betterment of not just yourselves, but to our society as a whole. I cannot say this any plainer."

I was about to end when Garrett suddenly stood up, he was obviously agitated. "I will not be dictated to by some half breed abomination! What makes her think she had the right to even address us?"

Edward immediately stood up and was at my side in an instant, the anger in his face was not lost on Garrett, who quickly took his seat, but didn't lose his attitude.

I was so afraid of what Edward might do, but he was very controlled as he spoke, "Bella is part of this panel, and it is very lucky for you that she is. It was Bella who was instrumental in our defeat of Jane and her accomplices."

Garrett sneered, but remained silent; Edward continued, "If it were not for Bella, you would most likely be summarily destroyed by Jane, without trial or recourse."

Edward finished speaking, but did not leave my side after that.

I looked at Garrett who stared back indignantly. I decided to put it in slightly different terms.

"As Carlisle said, I am different from you in some ways. There is another way I am most likely different from most of you."

There was silence as they waited for me to continue.

"Most of you I assume didn't choose this life, the life of a vampire. I did. I chose this life to be with my husband Edward. However, I still have my memories of my human family and myself. I can still feel the love and the security of that relationship. Can any of you remember your lives before? If you could you might understand what our family shares and lives for. You would know it is so much more satisfying than giving in to the bloodlust. I have seen the look of bloodlust as a human and felt it as a vampire. And as strong as that instinct is, it pales in comparison to the love and contentment I have with my husband and our family. If you could remember your lives before, you might remember the horror and the helplessness you felt when you were changed. Did you feel you were nothing more than sheep for the slaughter? Didn't you have hopes and dreams, and plans for your lives. The people you hunt have those hopes and dreams too. They have fathers, mothers, children, lovers and friends. They aren't merely food, they're conscious, feeling, thinking creatures. They deserve more than to be hunted like animals. I have nothing more to offer beyond this; If our family and our lives are not the strongest argument for our lifestyle, I don't thing there is anything else I can say to convince you. Thank you for your patience, and please think carefully about everything we've said to you."

I looked out at the pale faces watching me. I thought I could see many different emotions in their faces. Some were pensive, some looked confused, and a few, like Garrett, were angry. I knew it was too much to hope for that everyone would simply agree and move on. Nevertheless, some faces were smiling, and hopeful and they were not all amber eyed either. After a few moments, a few isolated hands began to clap, and then most of the others joined in. I froze; I wasn't expecting applause. After a few moments the clapping ceased. Edward, Jasper and I began to turn to take our seats when a single voice from behind us spoke.

"If you would indulge me for a moment Bella?"

I turned around and looked into the face of an amber-eyed vampire. He was strange and beautiful at the same time. His clothes were unremarkable, and plain. His hair was long and jet-black, pulled to a ponytail behind his head. His face reminded a little of Aro's but it was different. Though extremely pale, his face had a depth to it, that was intriguing, and his smile was not the false, condescending smile I'd seen on Aro's face. It was warm, inviting, and genuine, and I felt drawn to it.

He waited patiently for me to answer, as did the rest of the onlookers.

"Yes, of course," I finally answered."

"Thank you." He answered. "I was wondering if you could explain the dynamics of your panel. There are seven of you; I'm sure the odd number is to settled any issue that may split your views evenly?"

I nodded.

"I would assume the person who holds that position for all intents and purposes sits in leadership of the panel would that also be correct?"

With that Carlisle came forward and answered, "Yes, that would be correct."

All of us assumed that position would fall to Carlisle. He was the wisest of us, at least in my estimation. I was glad he joined the discussion, as I was beginning to feel out of my depth.

Turning his attention to Carlisle for a moment, he asked, "And who would that person be, that sits in leadership. I am sure you and the rest of the company would agree with me, that it is an important piece of information. We do want to know who is making decisions on our behalf."

There were a few nods and verbal agreements in the crowd.

"You are absolutely correct," Carlisle answered. "We do agree that you should all be aware of all the aspects of our panel. The person who will be leading our panel…is Bella."

I whipped my head around and stared at Carlisle open mouthed. I was about to protest, when Edward gave my hand a squeeze. I looked up at him, and he slightly shook his head. I closed my mouth, and tried to extinguish the shock on my face. I turned back toward the old vampire and waited.

His smile became wider, and he looked at me with a nod. There were a few more claps from the crowd, and also a few lethal stares and disgruntled murmurs, mostly from the Louisiana coven.

"If I may, I would like a private word with the panel, the vampire asked."

"Bella?" Carlisle deferred to me. I looked at Carlisle and nodded, and he continued, "Yes, if you could wait until the company disperses, we will be most happy to meet with you...I'm sorry, forgive my rudeness, I haven't asked your name."

"When we are alone," the vampire said nodding.

Carlisle nodded in return and addressed the crowd saying, "We have presented our plan, and having been found worthy at least for now to sit in leadership of our society. We have chosen Bella as the head of our panel, and we have given our argument for vegetarianism. Before we adjourn, are there any matters which need our attention now?"

There were a few more questions about the panel, but that was all. Most of the covens promised to consider things very carefully, and would let us know their decisions.

Carlisle introduced us to his acquaintances, we discussed trips to their parts of the world, and invited them to visit us in Forks. We mingled and answered questions about my human traits. I was given more than a few compliments by female vampires, both vegetarian and non-vegetarian, for the color of my eyes. It seemed that they were growing tried of red and amber.

As the covens left, Carlisle spoke with Giovani and the guards. He asked them if they would consider the vegetarian life style. Giovani said they would all do their best and try. He said if they found it was not something they could live with, they would not hunt within the city limits, and would try to choose their targets carefully, perhaps limiting themselves to criminals and undesirables. It was a distinction that Edward himself had once tried in lieu of vegetarianism. I was still not happy with the idea of any humans being hunted, but I knew this life I had chosen had a very dark side to it, and I didn't dwell on it.

Carlisle put them in charge of the security and caretaking of the castle, and said we would return in six months to reconvene. He let them know we were only a phone call away, thanked them for their loyalty and devotion, and dismissed them.

Once we were all alone, we all sat down at the table, adding an additional chair for the old vampire.

He sat down, keeping his eyes on me. I should have felt uncomfortable with the way he was staring at me, but I was more uncomfortable with what had just happened.

I immediately voiced my objection, "Carlisle, how could you even suggest me as the leader of this panel? I am absolutely the wrong person for this. How can I lead by example when I'm not even in control of myself? The leader this panel needs is you Carlisle not me."

With that I stopped talking folded my arms and just stared at the table.

"Humility as well as wisdom; I am very impressed," the old vampire said with a laugh.

Edward looked at him and asked, "If you would be so kind, might we have your name now?"

"Oh!" Alice suddenly gasped, smiling ear to ear.

"Nargalzeous," he said nodding towards Edward, "my name is Nargalzeous."

We all stared in stunned silence. I looked around the table, and every face was amazed, except for Alice who was still smiling.

Forgetting myself, I blurted out, "But I thought you were supposed to be dead?"

I immediately felt embarassed about my remark, "Oh, I'm so sorry! It's just that, well, Alice said that you were most likely dead, since you hadn't been seen or heard of in so long."

Nargalzeous let out a hearty laugh and said, "It's quite all right Bella, please don't bother yourself about it. I have kept mostly to myself these many long years. I have often found contact with others disappointing. I found it easier to let the rumors of my death continue, rather than dispute them. It gave me more anonymity, which allowed me to observe with less difficulty. Nomads are suspicious of everyone, and vegetarians are so accommodating, it seemed wrong to take advantage of their hospitality too often, while lying about who I was. I have traveled under the name Gale for many years now. You may all call me by that name if it is more comfortable for you."

"Why have you come forward now?" Edward asked.

"I think it is obvious," he said. "I knew one day the wars and fighting would bring our kind to a crossroads which would bring change. I believe we are there. I also believed that there would have to be a central figure to inspire that change. I believe your lovely wife to be that person."

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, shaking my head.

"You do not see yourself in that roll Bella?" He asked?

"No," I said. "I don't. I don't feel I'm the right person to try and inspire change. I don't know if I can do that."

"You're wrong Bella," he replied. "You already have done that, in this room today. There were many who left here with hope and a changed attitude."

I looked at him trying to accept what he said, but still doubting myself. I looked up at Edward who smiled and nodded in agreement.

"I was going to talk about this later," Edward said, "But Gale is right. I heard many of their thoughts as they left. Some of course were angry; and will try to fight any change, but there more than a few that were relieved, and eager to try our way of life. It was very encouraging Bella."

"You can read other's thoughts, can you?" Gale asked.

"Yes, I can," Edward answered.

"No exceptions?"

"Just one," Edward said putting his arm around me.

"Fascinating," Gale said with a grin.

"Frustrating is more like it," Edward said jokingly.

Alice's eyes became animated and bright, and she flipped open her cell phone dialing quickly. She quickly whispered in the phone, "Esme, we have to prepare a guest room when we get home."

Then she quickly shut the phone.

Edward laughed and said, "We would love to have you come stay with us when you're done with your travels here."

Gale seemed quite excited and asked, "She reads thoughts as well?"

"Not exactly," Edward answered. "She sees what may happen in the future."

Gale laughed out loud and asked "What _may_ happen?"

"Yes," Alice answered. "For instance, you _may_ decide to change your travel plans and come earlier or later than you intended. Then what I see will change."

"Incredible," Gale said. "I would love to come stay with you all. I do have friends in this part of the world that I have promised to visit and failed to for far too long. If you would look for me in a month or so, I will come. Now getting back to Bella's leadership."

I slumped back into my chair, hoping the subject had been forgotten.

"As we have told you Bella," Gale said, acknowledging Edward, "You have already inspired change, and you will continue to do so if you will but try. You are the catalyst to change among our kind, and in turn, you will save the lives of perhaps hundreds or thousands of humans."

I couldn't ignore that statement. Despite my own problems with the lure of human blood, I hated that people were killed to feed vampires. It tortured me, and I wanted it to stop. I knew it probably would always be part of the vampire society, but if it could be reduced so much, I had no choice but play whatever part I could to do that.

I looked up at Edward, Gale, and the rest of the panel, and I knew they expected nothing less than my full cooperation. I looked at Edward my eyes giving away my insecurity.

"You won't be alone Bella," he said, "I will always be by your side, always!"

"Alright," I finally said. I still don't think I'm the right person, but if you all promise to help me, I will be the leader or whatever. I promise I'll do the best I can."

"You are the right person Bella," Gale said smiling. "And I promise to assist you in every way I can."

As I looked into his bright eyes, I suddenly thought of Aro, and felt a small amount of regret. Gale was so much like him, and I knew he was what Aro could have been, had he the connection to others that Gale had.

"Now if you will all excuse me," Gale added, "I really must be on my way."

"You're going already?" Alice asked. "But I have so many questions: what have you been doing all these years, where have you been?"

"I will be more than happy to answer all of your questions dear Alice, when I come to you in Washington. Be patient, I will be there soon."

He stood and we all followed suit. He walked over to me and took my hand in his; he kissed it and said "I am honored Bella, and so truly glad to have met you at last. We will have so much to talk over when I see you again. Until then, remember you are the right person, and you will do great things."

He bowed and added, "Goodbye my friends; our world is about to change, and we will all have a great deal of work to do in assistance to that change. Until we meet again, I bid you all adieu."

He turned and was gone.

We all sat in silence for a few moments trying to absorb the strange visit we'd had.

"Well," Jasper said breaking the silence, "That was about the oddest thing I've experienced in quite a few years."

"Too bizarre," Alice said smiling her pixie grin.

I suddenly felt Edwards eyes on me, and looked up and met his eyes.

"Are you alright Bella?" He asked.

"If you accept the notion that _alright_ is a relative term then, yes I guess I'm alright." I answered wearily.

"You'll be fine love, you have everything within you to do this."

"Well the whole leadership and meeting a dead prophet thing aside, didn't it seem to anyone else that this all went a little too easily?" I asked. "I mean I thought there would yelling and all sorts of opposition to our proposal. It just seemed a little too smooth for comfort if that makes sense."

"Remember Bella," Carlisle answered, "What happened here today was just the beginning. The vampire world does not rush anything, mostly because we have all the time in the world. The covens will go back to their parts of the world, and discuss this among themselves. We will most likely have more than our share of problems in the future. And your being proclaimed panel leader will bring on it's own share of opposition. Also, despite their initial positive reaction, the warring covens will not just automatically change their way of thinking. Change takes time, and when you are not subject to running out of it, it takes even longer. We should all take Gale's words to heart, he is very wise in his admonitions."

I nodded hoping the problems wouldn't be too many, and that I could truly be the leader they all seemed to think me.

"I think," Jasper said, "you made quite an impression on them Bella. You are a unique case even among vampires in that you bring a real compassion for everyone, human and vampire. You made a very strong argument for our way of life, and I think more than a few were happy at your being appointed the panel leader."

"I couldn't agree more," Carlisle said. "Thank you Bella."

I felt very unworthy of their praise, but glad they felt I had done some good. I wasn't sure if I shared their opinion, but I was thankful nonetheless.


	31. New Beginnings

31. New Beginnings

Later that night, Edward and I took our tour of Volterra. I had so much on my mind, being proclaimed leader for our panel. I needed a diversion, and seeing the city fit the bill. As we walked along, Edward was like a tour guide giving me the history of the sites. Volterra's medieval roots were more than evident in the architecture. We began with the Piazza dei Priori. It was in the center of main square, and had been the residence of various Volterrian rulers. On each side of the facade were columns with lions on them, the Marzocco, Edward called them. We walked by a cathedral Edward said had been built in 1120, rebuilt in 1493, and remodeled during the renaissance. We stepped inside, and went through another doorway into a chapel. Inside was a shrine Edward called the Reliquary of Sant'Ottaviano. I didn't know a lot about cathedrals or their iconography, but it was so wonderful having a private tour with Edward. He seemed so excited to share his knowledge with me, and I was content to learn. There were of course glimpses of the city in it's infancy from Aro's memory; but I suppressed it as much as I could. I didn't want to think about Aro, the Volturri, or anything other than Edward. As we continued on our way, we passed tower houses, museums, a few of which we went into, and a citadel which was the defensive tower of the city. It was a mini education in Italian history, but the only thing I could remember when we were done, was that I had been with Edward.

By early the next morning, we were flying home to Forks, and I'd put the whole panel thing out of my mind. I was anxious to get home and talk to Charlie, and to talk with Jacob and Leah about the wedding. First, I had something to take care of. I wanted to get something special for their wedding present, but wasn't sure what. I wanted it to be something just for Jake and Leah, something personal. I popped open a laptop I discovered on the plane, and logged onto the internet. I was looking at different gift websites, but nothing seemed right. After several failed attempts at finding a gift, I decided to distract myself and look up Forks. I looked at the town website, and the surrounding area. Then I looked at a vacation website. Suddenly I saw something in the classifieds that jumped out at me. "Edward!" I chirped. "He leaned over and put his arms around me and answered "Yes?"

"Can I borrow the credit card?"

"YOU…?" he said almost laughing. "You want to use the credit card?"

"Yes, yes," I said letting him enjoy the moment. "I want to buy Jacob and Leah a wedding gift."

"Look," I said showing him what I had in mind.

Edward let out a long whistle and said, "Wow, Bella, you aren't kidding, are you?"

"I know it's extravagant," I said, "But with the pack, and shared thoughts and all, I thought it would be perfect for them."

"He doesn't deserve a friend like you Bella," Edward said smiling, as he handed me the card and the sat phone.

We arrived in Port Angeles later that afternoon around three. I had been on the phone for about an hour making arrangements for Jacob and Leah's gift. After I finished that call, I made one to Jacob.

"Hello?" Jacob answered.

"Hi Jake, it's Bella."

"Oh, hey Bells, you're back huh? How was Vol…Vol…um Italy?"

I laughed and said, "Volterra was fine. I like Forks better though. Listen Jake, have you guys decided how soon you want to get married?"

"Well yeah, we wanted to do it as soon as possible, but there are a few hitches."

"Hitches?" I questioned.

"Yeah. First, we know Alice wanted to help but how fast can she arrange something?"

"Ah, Jacob, I wouldn't worry about that. Alice is practically a magician with how fast she can arrange things. Is Leah there, or at home right now?"

"She's home with her mom, and Charlie too."

I smiled at the thought of my father. It hadn't been long since I'd seen him, but I missed him anyway.

"Ok," I said, "Why don't I have Alice," who was already standing at my side, "give her a call and they can get the ball rolling."

Jacob gave me the number, which I repeated to Alice, who's fingers moved so fast over the phone keys, I could barely see them.

Then I said, "I was wondering if you and Leah would be free tonight to take a drive with Edward and I? Not far, in fact it's on the reservation. I'll hunt before I come I promise," I added.

"You know I'm not really worried about that Bells, especially if both Edward and I are with you."

"I'm glad Jacob," I said with affection, "but I'm still worried about it, and I want to take all the precautions I can."

"Whatever you think's best Bells. So yeah, Leah and I can come. Where are we going?"

"Oh no," I said, "it's a surprise, that's all I'm saying."

"Ok Bella," he teased, "Now I know you're up to something."

"Of course, but I'm not telling you what. So I'll call you when we're back at the house ok? Oh and could you tell Charlie we're on the way home, and if it's ok with Sue, I'll stop by and see them after our drive?"

"Will do Bells," he said, and hung up.

I sat with a Cheshire grin on my face, content with my plan.

An animated Alice came and sat next to me. "We have so much to do, she squealed with delight. I love weddings!"

"How much time do we have I asked?"

"Three days."

"Three days?" Edward and I said together.

"Well, I need at least that long to make the arrangements for the tents, the DJ, the food, the cake, and you know everything. They're handling the Quileute part of it, and we're doing the rest."

"Alice, you'd make a perfect social secretary for the president," Edward teased.

Alice looked up thinking about it and said, "Yes, yes I would."

After we got home, I went upstairs to change. Looking through my meager supply of clothes, the bulk of my new wardrobe still in Denali, I realized that I would have to succumb to a shopping trip with Alice. Suddenly I heard a squeal from down the hall, and then Alice bolted through the door practically knocking Edward over as she passed him.

"Paris Bella, we're going shopping in Paris!"

"Are you sure about that Alice?" I moaned.

"Absolutely!" She beamed.

"Can we wait a few days first?" I asked. "I'd like to get through Jake's wedding, and I'd like to spend some time with Charlie and Sue."

Alice's face went a bit blank. I was about to get worried, when a huge smile covered her face. "We're going to need another cake!" She giggled.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Charlie's downstairs Bella," Edward said smiling.

We went downstairs to find Esme had already let Charlie and Sue inside, and the three were sitting and talking on the sofa.

"Hey dad," I said sitting next to him.

"Great to see you Bells," He replied. "Hasn't been that long, but I missed you. How was you're…ah…trip?"

"It went great dad, better than we expected actually." I wasn't' sure how true that statement was, but I didn't want to think about all that, I only wanted to concentrate on my father. "So what's up with the visit? I thought you were with Leah."

"Yeah, we were, but Jake called her and said you were home and they were going for a ride with you and Edward in a while. She also said their wedding is in three days thanks to Alice."

Alice was smiling ear to ear, and just nodded, looking like a cat that was just about to snare a bird.

"So Charlie, Sue," She said innocently, "Is there something you wanted to tell us?"

Charlie looked at Alice with a shocked expression. He had always adored her before. I wondered how he would relate to her now, knowing what she really was.

He was still staring when I said, "Ah, it's sort of another vampire thing dad."

"Oh," he said, "I'm sorry Alice hon, I didn't mean to stare. I'm still getting used to this whole thing you know?"

"I understand Charlie, "Alice said in a comforting voice, "but don't worry about me, you have something to tell us don't you?"

Charlie laughed a bit and said, "Well yeah, I do. Bells," he said turning his attention to me, "Sue and I are going to get married tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Dad, why tomorrow why so soon?"

Sue turned her eyes down, and I realized I had hurt her feelings.

"Oh Sue!" I said grabbing her hand over Charlie's lap, "I'm so sorry I didn't mean I don't want you to marry Charlie, I'm thrilled about it really. He must have told you that right?"

"Yes he did," she replied, "but well you're reaction…"

"I am sorry, "I repeated, "I just thought you would have a regular wedding, you know to celebrate. I'm just sort of surprised that's all."

"Well," Charlie said, "with Jake and Leah having their wedding in three days, we didn't want to steal their thunder, and we were thinking of doing this soon anyway. We just thought we'd sneak off to the Justice of the Peace in Port Angeles and do it. That way Jake and Leah can have their day, and we won't interfere."

"I know that Leah and Seth want to be there Charlie," I said, "and I'd like to be there too. Would you mind if we go with you? I know Leah won't care when you get married, I just know that she wouldn't want to miss her mom's wedding."

Alice and Edward were smiling, and he said, "Why don't you ask Leah yourself Charlie?"

Just then there was a knock at the door. Alice skipped like a child and when she opened the door, there stood Jacob and Leah.

"Holy cow!" Charlie said. "I'm not sure my nerves can take this Bells."

"You'll get used to it Charlie," I said.

Jacob and Leah came in. "Oh, hi mom, hi Charlie," Leah said.

"Hi honey," Sue answered.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked.

"Go ahead, Charlie," I said, "Tell them.

Charlie nodded, and told Leah and Jacob their plan, and apologized for the bad timing, but said no one had to make a big deal about it, that we should all still focus on their wedding.

"Absolutely not!" Leah said. "Mom, Charlie, I am so happy that you two found each other, and I want to share it with you, we all do. Can you all excuse Jacob and me for a minute?"

We all nodded, and she and Jacob went out to the porch to talk.

Alice just sat smiling, and giggling with such fervor, Charlie had to ask, "Alice honey, are you ok?"

"Oh, I'm fine," she said through her giggles.

Charlie looked at me; I just shook my head and rolled my eyes simultaneously.

Leah and Jacob came back inside, and she said, "Mom, Charlie, Jacob and I would be so honored if you would get married the same day as us, at La Push. We know it wouldn't be the traditional ceremony, but we were thinking afterward, in the tent before the reception." She looked over at Alice asking with her eyes.

"It's all arranged in my head," Alice said, "I just need to make some phone calls.

She began to turn and leave when Charlie said, "Wait Alice; now kids we don't want to intrude on your day, we're not…"

"Charlie," Alice interrupted, "object for a few more minutes before you agree if it makes you feel better. I have phone calls to make." With that she skipped out of the room without looking back.

Charlie sat with his mouth open and Sue trying to stifle her laughter.

"Dad," I said in an ominous voice, "There's no point in arguing. It's inevitable; you're trapped in Alice's wedding net, from which there is no escape!"

"Leah, Jake, are you sure kids?" He had to ask.

"Absolutely Charlie," Jacob answered. "We want you to do this with us; like Leah said, it would be our honor."

"Well ok," he said. "Fine with you Sue?"

She was still snickering when she answered, "Yes…Charlie…it's wonderful. And it seems we have…no…choice." With that she lost all control, and laughed out loud. There was no stopping it, we all joined in. We laughed until we cried, well until some of us cried.

We visited with Charlie and Sue for a while, and Alice gave Sue the information about the wedding, and then they said they had to go. I hugged Sue and then Charlie, and said, "I'm so happy for you Dad."

"Thanks Bells," he said, "See you in a couple of days." I nodded as they left.

Since we had not had time to hunt, I asked Jacob and Leah to visit with Esme and Carlisle while Edward and I were out. Once again, it was close to home, and the customary herd of deer. When we returned, we got into Jake's rabbit and headed back to La Push.

"So where are we going, Jacob asked.

"Just take Mora Road towards Rialto Beach." I said smiling.

Jacob gave me a suspicious glare in the rearview mirror.

I just smiled back and said, "It's a surprise Jake, just enjoy it will you?"

He just smiled and shook his head.

We drove along Mora Road until we came to a small dirt road. "Turn here," I said..

We drove down the dirt road about a quarter mile when we saw the lights of a rustic log house I'd found for sale. "This is it," I said excitedly, "We're here."

"We're where Bella?" Jacob asked.

I was too excited to answer. I got out of the car, and ran up the steps to the porch of a and removed a envelope that was taped to the front door. I walked back to the top of the stairs and said, "Welcome home!"

Edward quickly joined me at the top of the stairs smiling. Jacob and Leah stopped at the bottom of the stairs with a confused look. "What do you mean welcome home?" Jacob asked.

"Well what could I mean Jacob?" I asked feigning sarcasm.

Leah gasped and said, "Oh Bella, are you serious?"

"Yes," I said. "This is your house, a wedding gift from Edward and me."

"Bella," Jacob began, "I don't see how we can accept this…I mean…this is…"

"Jake," I said holding up my hand, "I wanted to give you something special, something from my heart. I always hated how cramped you boys were in those little houses. I wanted you to have a place that was big, and open, but homey too. A place for the pack to meet that won't be bursting at the seams; a place where Leah will have a great kitchen and lots of room for kids."

Leah blushed and Jake cleared his throat, and continued, "But what about my dad, Bells, I can't just leave him." "Hasn't you're dad talked to you about this?" I asked. "If he's willing, Seth is going to move in with your dad, so he has someone to help him. Seth is still underage, and Sue is going to move in with Charlie. She doesn't want to take him away from the pack, so it's a good solution. Besides, once you two have had enough time alone, when you have kids maybe, you can have Billy move in here if you and Leah want. I have carpenters coming tomorrow to build a ramp for Billy's chair. So at least it will be easy when he comes to visit."

Jacob let a huge smile cover his face.

"You have the entire pack in your heads," I continued, "I just thought it would be nice to at least have a place to yourselves. So let me spoil you a little ok? Besides, Edward is so happy I spent money, he'll be disappointed if you don't accept."

Edward just smiled and nodded, letting me bask in my gift giving.

We went inside and explored the house. It had all the modern conveniences, and a definite native influence in the décor. I had been ecstatic when I learned it was being sold completely furnished. I was thrilled that Jake and Leah would be starting out with a complete home. Upstairs were three bedrooms and a couple of bathrooms, plenty of room for a family. I was ecstatic.

Through double doors to the back was a porch running the length of the house, with a view of the ocean beyond. It was such a romantic view, I smiled at the thought of Jacob and Leah sitting together on this porch looking out at the sea. The we all looked to our right and in one corner, was a huge hot tub.

"Wow," Jacob said smiling, "that is so cool!"

"I highly recommend hot tubs for newlyweds," I teased looking at Edward with a reminiscent smile. He smirked back and squeezed my hand, and said, "I agree."

This time both Leah and Jacob blushed.

We went back inside and sat in the great room for a while talking about what Alice had in store for the wedding, and finally Jacob said, Bella, Edward, I don't know how to thank you. This is so great of you, especially after the other day on First Beach."

I looked down, feeling the guilt of that day come rushing back. "I'm sorry" was all I could muster after that.

"Don't be sorry Bella," Jacob said. "I didn't bring it up to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know how special this is to us. Remember, the other day doesn't change how I…we feel about you. We all make mistakes, but we have to help each other work through things. I mean isn't that what best friends do?"

Leah came and sat down next to me and said, "We'll make it work Bella; we'll all just have to be really careful and do our parts. You guys do…what you do, and we'll do the same. I love having you and Alice, and all the Cullen's as part of our family, and I'm not going to lose you all now."

I just hugged her and pushed that day out of my mind. "Ok," I said forcing a lighter mood, "I know your right Leah. Besides, I have to know what its like to live with Jake!"

We all laughed and continued to talk about the wedding. Finally, Leah said it was getting late, and they should get back and check on Billy. "Yeah, she's right," Jacob agreed.

We stood up, and I handed Jacob the key to their home and said, "Be happy here Jake, both of you."

"He took me up in a hug and said, "Thanks for being my friend Bells, thanks for everything."

"My pleasure," I whispered.

He turned to Edward and said, "Thanks Edward."

Edward shook Jacob's hand and said, "Anytime Jacob, anytime."

"So," Jake asked, "Shall we give you two a ride home?"

"No," I said, "I think we'll just walk if it's ok with you; it's so nice to be away from Alice's planning." I smiled at Edward who cocked an eyebrow at me. He wasn't buying my excuse.

"Ok, no problem Bells," Jake said, "I guess we'll be seeing you in a couple of days huh?"

"Yep," I said. "You two take care, see you then."

With that, they drove off.

Once they were out of sight, Edward took me up into his arms and asked, "What are you up to now Mrs. Cullen?"

"I think," I began with a playful voice, "Jacob and Leah wouldn't mind if we tried out their hot tub."

Edward laughed as he carried me to the back of the house.

Two days seemed to fly by, as Alice was like a woman possessed putting together not one but two weddings. Jacob and Leah were handling the Quileute ceremony, but the reception along with Charlie and Sue's nuptials were all Alice's. She did the absolutely unthinkable, for Alice that is, and told Charlie to wear the same tux he wore for Edward's and my wedding.

I teased her by acting as though she had committed an unpardonable sin saying, "Alice, what will the neighbors say if they see Charlie in a used suit?"

She was a sport about it, but she did say, "If I'd had enough time to fly to Paris and back, he'd be wearing a brand new designer tux!"

Being that it was a second marriage for both of them; Sue didn't feel the need to wear a traditional wedding gown. So after raiding Rosalie's, Esme's and her own closet, Alice helped Sue pick out a pale pink chiffon gown, with long sheer sleeves, and delicate ruffles at the wrists. It had a high neck, with crystal buttons at the back. It had a fitted waist with a sweeping skirt that looked like something out of a fairytale. Sue opted to wear fresh flowers in her hair.

Knowing that I was Leah's Matron of honor, and that their ceremony would be somewhat less formal, I was allowed to wear a simple white blouse, with a plain black skirt. For Charlie and Sue's ceremony and the reception later, Alice convinced me to let her surprise me with an outfit. Nothing too extreme she promised. I knew I was in trouble.

The day finally arrived, and I went over to Charlie's to help him get ready. I was careful to hunt the day before, and that morning with Edward, bringing him with me of course.

When Charlie answered the door I could tell he was already nervous.

"So how are you holding up Dad," I asked.

"I don't know Bells," he said, "I thought I was nervous at your wedding, but I don't know how I'm gonna get through today."

"You'll be fine Charlie," Edward said. "You were great at our wedding, and I know you'll be perfect today.

"Yeah, well I still think a Justice of the Peace would have been better."

"Oh come on dad," I said. "You look great, and Sue is going to be beautiful, and you're going to have a blast. So, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," He said.

When we arrived at La Push with Charlie, Alice and the rest of the family were just pulling up as well. We walked over to the Black's house. Jacob came out with a plain white shirt, and dark slacks. He looked very handsome, and I was very happy for Leah.

"Wow, Jacob," I said, you look great. Have you seen Leah yet?"

"No, she wants me to wait until the ceremony," he said smiling. "This isn't my whole outfit, either, there's more to come."

Well, dad" I said, "why don't you and Edward stay here and talk to Jacob, and I'll go over to Sue's and see how the ladies are doing."

"Bella," Edward said, "I'm not sure you should go alone."

I was so happy for Jacob and Leah I had forgotten everything else. I suddenly felt insecure, even though I had hunted the previous day and that morning, I was scared just thinking about what might happen.

"Why shouldn't she go alone," Charlie asked.

I looked at Jacob with panic in my eyes. I didn't want Charlie to know what I had done, and Jacob perceiving my fear said, "Some of the kids were a little freaked out by Bella's eyes the other day, that's all."

"Oh, well I can understand that. Sorry Bella, but those eyes are something to look at. I can see how they would scare a kid."

I smiled up at Jacob with thanks; he just winked at me and said, "Why don't you walk her over Edward, I think the kids are all home getting ready for the wedding anyway."

I kissed Charlie and said, "You look so handsome, you're going to sweep her off her feet."

"Yeah, yeah," Charlie said, as he waved me away.

I hugged Jake and said, "see you in a little while."

As Edward and I were walking out the door, we met Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper on their way in. I told them we were on our way to Sue's and Edward would be right back. Jasper asked if we wanted him to go with us. I told him no, that I was very confident that the hunting I had done was enough to keep the monster subdued, and Edward would keep me in check. He smiled nodding, then went inside to join the rest of the men.

It was a few minutes walk to Sue and Leah's house. The day was not sunny, but it wasn't too cold either. Fall was in the air, and it gave a crispness to it, that was very refreshing. I did hear the occasional voice in the distance, and the laughter of a child from the few small houses I passed, but the monster was quiet, so I relaxed a bit, but didn't let my guard down, even though Edward was next to me. I could also hear the faint sound of the wind through the trees, it was peaceful and comforting. I closed my eyes and let the sound wash over me along with the breeze. When I opened my eyes and looked up at Edward he was doing the same. He opened his eyes and smiled down at me. "It's beautiful isn't it?" He asked. I nodded. I knew Alice, Esme and Rosalie were at Sue's, so I was pretty sure I'd be able to handle myself. When I got to the Clearwater's I saw Rosalie's red Mercedes, so I relaxed even more. I kissed Edward goodbye, and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Alice asked deliberately.

"It's me Alice," I answered.

"Is Jacob with you?"

"No, Edward walked me over, but he's on his way back to Jacob's; I'm all alone, the coast is clear."

Alice opened the door. "Where have you been? We've been waiting for you, Leah was nervous without you."

"I had to take Charlie over to Billy's. Where is Leah?"

"I'm here Bella, Leah announced as she came into the room."

Leah looked like something out of a story. Her beautiful black hair was pulled loosely to the back secured with ornately beaded leather lashings. The beads were wood and what I thought looked like black obsidian.

She wore a long woven tunic that fell to below her knees, with long sleeves. It was a deep rust color, with an overlay of light buckskin at the cuffs, across the shoulders, and around the bottom. Underneath she wore an ankle length skirt, which danced as she moved. The tunic had brightly painted characters on it; predominantly wolves, but there were also fish, birds and Elk. Around her head she wore a leather band, with lashings and beads that hung against her silky hair. The finishing touch was the blanket that Emily had left. She wore it around her shoulders, and held it in her delicate hands so tenderly, one would have thought it was Emily herself she was holding. I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks as I walked over and embraced her gently, not wanting to spoil the image. She looked like an Indian princess out of a legend, and I thought how lucky Jacob was to have such a lovely creature as his wife.

"Oh Leah," I said, "I cannot believe how beautiful you look, you're breathtaking."

"Do you think Jacob will like it?" She asked.

It was so touching to see how much she loved him and wanted to please him, to be what he wanted and needed. And I knew he felt the same way; it literally brought the phrase a match made in heaven to mind.

"Leah," I said, "I don't think he'll be able to breathe after he sees you. I was so worried about him being happy, and I know now he will be. He is truly a lucky man, thank you for loving him."

Leah's eyes were glassy with tears as she hugged me and said, "Thank you for everything Bella, and for being here today."

Finally Alice couldn't take anymore sentiment, "Ok, no more tears, I don't want to have to redo everyone's makeup."

I just smirked at Alice, wiping my tears away and then hugged her.

Sue was dressed in a simpler, less ornate version of Leah's outfit, of a tunic, and long skirt. She wore a wide, leather belt, and a simple blanket around her shoulders. Keeping her other outfit away from Charlie's site before their vows was easier this way, and of course, Alice insisted.

After everyone was ready, we headed to the large clearing in the middle of the village, and like the potlatch, there was a large bonfire towards one side of the clearing, and chairs set up. Many of the people were wearing strange looking jumpers and skirts. There were made of long wooden strips, and I could tell from the heavy familiar odor that the strips were made from cedar. Some of the people wore woven hats of cedar, that looked like they had been made with the same skill as the basket Emily left me. In front of the fire was a long wooden platform with several blankets laid out. Towards the back of the platform the village elders were already sitting. Among them were Billy and old Quil Ateara. Several of the elders along with old Quil, were wearing ornamental wooden hats in the shape of different animals. The also wore brightly colored blankets

Leah had put Emily's blanket over the top of her head, and held it around the chin, she looked like she had stepped out of the past. We waited a few moments when Jacob accompanied by the pack appeared. Edward, Carlisle, Charlie, Emmett and Jasper all followed. He was wearing a leather headpiece with several graduating black feathers in it, coming to an apex in the middle. Across the front was an intricate design made with small shells. Hanging on each side of the piece, were more shells. Leah leaned over and whispered, "The headdress of the chief."

I suddenly remembered Jacob telling me once that Sam Uley as the head of the pack was technically considered chief. I smiled thinking about it, Chief Jacob.

Around his neck were several strands of shell necklaces. They were beautiful, differing in color from brilliant orange to pale white. Around his shoulders, he too had a blanket draped. His blanket looked very ceremonial, with geometric patterns, and an incredibly long fringe all along the edge. Under the blanket, I saw that he had on an apron of a sort which had designs made of different shells. He took a seat on one of the blankets on the front of the wooden platform. He looked as though he belonged there, like the old photographs you see in a history book or museum. The tradition and heritage of the Quileute's were in his eyes, and no one could doubt that this was their Chief. Then Leah took Sue's and my hand, and we approached, Sue holding Leah's hand up as though presenting her. We stopped in front of the platform and Sue gave a nod to Jacob who stood and nodded back. Sue put Leah's hand in Jacob's, kissed them both and then joined Charlie and the family. As I looked at Jacob, I could see the tears in his eyes, and the smile on his face. Jacob brought Leah up on the platform, and they sat down together side by side. I felt as though nothing was so perfect as the picture of the two of them together. Then Leah directed me to sit on her opposite side, I felt very humbled being included.

Old Quil, stood and began to speak about the importance of marriage, the bond it created between the couple. He talked about family responsibility, and responsibility to the people. He spoke about Jacob's responsibility to his secret society, and his leadership of their people. Then he began to speak in Quileute; of course, I didn't understand the words, but it was still stirring. "Another blessing," Leah whispered. Then the elders began to beat on thin disc-like drums, in rhythmic unison. As they played they began to sing in Quileute. At the same time one of the elders brought a wooden bowl to Jacob. Jacob drank from the bowl and handed it to Leah who drank from it as well and then gave it back to the elder. Then old Quil stood up again, and said, "Jacob, Leah is now your wife, cherish her and care for her. Leah, Jacob is your husband, honor him, obey him, be a help to him. May you bring many sons and daughters to our tribe. Teach them the traditions and the heritage of our people. When he was done speaking, Jacob leaned over, and caressing her cheek, kissed Leah. It was one of the happiest days of my life, after all the tragedy they had been through, to see them married and happy. With their kiss came a cheer starting with the pack, and radiating out through the entire group of onlookers. It was so special to be part of their celebrations.

After the cheers began to subside, Jacob and Leah stood up, and I did the same. Jacob put his arm around Leah and said, "Please come now and celebrate another wedding with us. Sue Clearwater and our good friend Charlie Swan will be taking their vows in just about a half an hour. If you could all start making your way down to the beach, we'll join you there soon. As the people began to break up and head for the beach, Alice came up to the platform.

"Congratulations!" She said beaming. "Jacob I know she just became your officially, but may I borrow your wife for just a few minutes? I need to dress her and Sue for the next ceremony."

Jacob smiled and asked, "Would it do me any good to say no?"

Alice just smiled and said, "When you see her you'll thank me!"

Jacob ignored her looking into Leah's eyes; he picked her up off her feet and kissed her with enough passion to cause Alice and I to look in every direction but at them. "Don't be too long ok?" He asked.

It took Leah a couple of seconds to catch her breath before nodding.

He let her down, and began to walk toward the beach.

"Oh wait," Alice called after him. "There's a change of clothes for you too back at your dad's."

Alice smiled like an imp, and Jacob just rolled his eyes nodding and switching direction to Billy's.

"See you soon," Alice chimed.

We walked over to Sue's and started to change. I had to admit, Alice chose something wonderful for me. It was a silk pantsuit with wide flowing pants and a matching blazer on top, snugly fitted in the middle, but flared out on the bottom. The material was a deep green, shimmered and rippled like water when I moved. The pants were not too long and hung nicely over a pair of low matching wedge shoes. How Alice got them, I couldn't even guess. She gave me an emerald and gold set of earrings and necklace to accent the outfit. For Leah she wanted to keep the bridal theme going without taking away from Sue's outfit. She put her in an off white strapless fitted bodice with simple lace accents, and a matching skirt. She gave Leah the option of wearing Emily's blanket or the lace shawl she had brought for her. As I knew she would, Leah chose to wear Emily's blanket. To Leah it was Emily, like having her arms around her, and she didn't want to let it go. After we were dressed, we headed out to the beach. As we cleared the trees we were stunned to see a series of tents similar to those at Edwards and my wedding. These tents however were deep reds, oranges and Yellows, keeping with the colors of the Quileute figures. As we looked inside we could see a huge buffet was set up, with every sort of food imaginable. Tables were scattered around and in the center of each were arrangements of sunflowers and deep crimson and coral roses. The tablecloths varied in colors, table to table. Some were gold, others rust, and still others were deeper red. To the center of the tents was a circular floor, which I assumed was for dancing. There was a harvest yellow runner from the tent opening to the middle of the dance floor, where an arch was standing decorated with wild sunflowers, ferns and coral roses. It never ceased to amaze me what Alice could do in a short time. Of course, I knew to quote Edward, obscene amounts of money had something to do with it. But Alice had a natural ability for creating visuals that represented the celebrants in a very personal way. Under the arch was a small lectern, with the same minister that had performed Edward's and my ceremony waiting behind. To one side of the tent was the same DJ, waiting to begin the music. Most of the Quileutes had already filed into the tents. Esme and Rosalie joined us, and we decided to move to the backside of the tents, so Charlie wouldn't see Sue before the Ceremony. As everyone talked, I walked to the water's edge. I looked out at St. James and thought of Emily and Sam. I also thought about my loss of control. The two incidents together were a bit too much for me to hold it together. The tears began to fall, and I just continued to look out at the water and try to re-center myself. Without a warning, Alice put an arm around me, and looked out at the ocean.

"Alice, I…"

"Don't Bella," Alice interrupted, "Don't say anything. Don't carry your mistakes with you Bella. Learn from them and let them go."

I just nodded and said nothing. She was right and I knew it. Happily ever after had to start sometime, it might as well be now I thought.

We turned back from the water in time to see Charlie and the men walking into the tent, except for Jasper and Edward who walked out to join Alice and me.

"Are you ladies ready?" Jasper asked.

"We are," Alice answered. "Bella needs a minute, but I'll get Sue and the others, and you can go tell Charlie and the minister we'll be there in a minute."

Alice and Jasper left Edward and I by the water.

Edward put his arms around me. "You look lovely Bella," he said. "Alice does have excellent taste."

"She does," I answered.

"Are you alright Bella?" He said wiping the few stray tears that were still on my cheek.

"I'm ok Edward, just letting go of bad memories."

"Alice is pretty wise, isn't she?"

I nodded and pulled myself closer.

In the tent, Charlie was up at the lectern next to the minister with Billy at his side. Poor Charlie looked like he wanted to run. I knew it wasn't because of Sue, but I knew he'd rather be anywhere but the center of attention. We were so alike he and I, and I had to smile. I went up, hugged him and said, "I'm so happy for you dad, and you are going to be so happy with Sue. Just hang in there for a few more minutes dad, and then it will be time to celebrate ok?"

"Ok Bells," he said. "I just hate all the attention you know?"

"I know dad, believe me, I know."

Alice came in and directed everyone to get ready. I kissed Charlie on the cheek and took a seat beside Edward. Charlie readied himself between the minister and Billy, and Alice gave the DJ the ok to start the wedding march. Acting as her mother's Matron of Honor, Leah walked down the runner onto the floor and stood on the opposite side of the minister. Then Sue entered the tent on Seth's arm, and began her walk. She was carrying a single long stem coral rose, surrounded by fern and baby's breath, and wrapped in a pale pink silk. She was smiling as she walked, and I could see the resemblance between her and Leah. She had the same beautiful smile, and the same bright laughing eyes. I glanced back at Charlie who looked as though he would pass out. He had the glisten of tears in his eyes, and a smile bigger than I'd ever seen on his face. I knew in that moment that Alice had been right all along, I knew that my father would be happy. As Sue made her way up to the lectern Charlie stepped forward to meet her. The minister asked that familiar question of who gave this woman to be married; Seth answered, "my sister and I do."

He reached forward and shook Charlie's hand and handed Sue over to him. As the minister took them through the ceremony, I held Edward's hand and tried to imagine how Charlie's life would be now. To have someone who knew him for who he was, and loved him. Renee had been honest with me, and said that she had been too young when she married Charlie, and that they were a wrong fit from the start. Looking at his face and Sue's I could tell they were a right fit, and they always would be. I was still thinking about it when I heard the minister say, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I looked up to see Charlie kiss Sue with more than a little passion. A cheer went up for the second time that day for a pair of newlyweds. There was no need to go back up the runner, we all went forward to congratulate Charlie and Sue, and the party began. The reception might not have been quite as elaborate as Edwards and my reception, but it was nonetheless a success. The food, the music, and the company were perfect. The dancing began with Charlie and Sue, and Jacob and Leah sharing the floor for the bridal dance. Then the rest of us joined them. Edward and I began to sway and move, and I came to a realization…I wasn't falling, or tripping or even stepping on Edwards toes. I had done fairly well at our wedding with Edwards help, but this was as though I was floating in unison with Edward. It was strange and wonderful at the same time. Edward seemed to know what I was thinking.

"You are incredibly coordinated now," he said with a grin. I smiled back and put my head on his shoulder, and continued to dance. "I will miss your falling down though," he whispered.

Charlie and Sue were so adorable together, and I could see so much love in their eyes for each other. I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at them. Jacob and Leah were locked in each other's arms, knowing they truly belonged to each other now. I looked at Jacob's face as he looked at his bride, and I saw the excitement I once saw in his face. It seemed like it had been years, rather than months. He smiled so brightly at her I wanted to laugh. Beneath the Pack leader, the Quileute chief, was my friend Jacob Black; just a young boy sitting on the beach telling me scary stories. I knew he would re-submerge with the responsibilities of the pack, the people, and being a married man. But he was there in his eyes and his smile. I smiled so big, he couldn't help but notice. He whispered something to Leah, who looked my way, smiled, and nodded. They danced over to Edward and I and Jacob asked Edward, "Shall we switch for a few minutes?"

Edward deftly took Leah's hand and said, "It would be my honor."

Leah laughed, and Jacob handed her over while taking my hand. Edward twirled Leah away, and Jacob and I did the same.

"You look beautiful Bells," he said.

"Thanks Jake," I answered. "You don't look to bad yourself."

He smiled as though he was embarrassed.

"And Leah is a vision," I added.

Jacob looked over at Leah dancing with Edward, and I could see such adoration in his eyes, he looked as though he wanted to go get her.

"Don't worry," I said touching his cheek, "I'll give you back in just a minute."

"I'm sorry Bells," he apologized, "I just feel weird when I'm not with her, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean Jake. I'm so happy for you and Leah."

"Is that what you were smiling at?"

"Well, actually, I was remembering this really nice boy I met at First Beach a couple of years ago."

Jacob smiled an odd smile, it was almost sad. "Seems like a long time ago," he said quietly.

"We've been through a lot since then, haven't we?"

He just nodded.

"I know today is the happiest day of your life Jake, and I am so happy for you. I need you to know that I couldn't have made it without you. I know I hurt you, hurt you so much. But seeing you with Leah, I know you are where you're supposed to be."

He laughed softly and said, "I can't argue with that."

"You gave me a reason to go on Jake, when all I wanted to do was lay down and die. I will always be grateful to you. You helped me find my way back to Edward, though it wasn't your intention."

Jacob just smiled at me and then pulled me up into one of his bear hugs and whispered, "You were my first love Bella, and I'll never regret that, never. It makes me see Leah so much more clearly as my true love; I'll always be grateful to you."

We just looked at each other with tears in our eyes.

Finally he let me down and kissed my head. We danced back over to Leah and Edward and switched.

"You see," Edward said, "I told you he loved you Bella."

"You heard?" I asked smiling.

"I tried not to love, but I did catch a little at the end."

I laughed and said, "I don't really care Edward, I'm just glad Jake is happy, and that he's still my friend."

"So am I love, I really and truly am."

I just smiled and looked into his eyes. Those eyes that could so easily take me away, and make me forget everything.

As he looked at me, he began to lean towards me, his expression changing to something more intimate. I knew I could so easily lose myself in his stare, but instead I said, "I need to go dance with Charlie."

Edward looked surprised for a split second, then laughed out loud.

We made our way over to Charlie and Sue. They had left the dance floor to talk with Billy.

I took Charlie by the hand and said, "How about a daughter-father dance?"

Charlie smiled and said to Sue with pride, "My lovely daughter would like to dance; would you excuse me dear?"

"Of course Charlie," Sue said laughing.

Charlie and I hit the floor and I couldn't help laughing at the thought of what this would look like if I were still human. Charlie did know how to dance, but he wasn't exactly Fred Astaire. I remember dancing on his feet when I was small, much like I'd done with Edward at the Prom. Now I was the one who was coordinated and saving the dance. The distinction wasn't lost on Charlie. "Wow Bells, you didn't tell me you could dance now."

"I sort of didn't know dad," I said with a smirk.

"I'm so glad you didn't leave without talking to me Bells," he said. "I would have missed you so much, and I wanted you here with me today"

"I'm glad too dad, I really didn't want to go.

"I can deal with anything as long as I know your safe Bells, and your happy."

"I am Dad, so much happier than I ever expected. And I'm glad that you're happy, and that you won't be alone."

Charlie looked over at Sue who was laughing, and said, "that is kind of a nice thing you know?"

I laughed at my father, who's simple outlook on life was so comforting and sensible. I was having such a good time dancing with Charlie, I almost didn't want it to end. But I saw Sue looking in our direction and I knew she wanted him. "Dad, why don't you dance with your wife for a while," I suggested. "I mean it's your wedding and all, she might appreciate it."

"Still a wise guy, I see," Charlie laughed.

We walked over to Sue and I gave Charlie back saying, "Thanks Sue, I've never had so much fun dancing with my dad before."

"You're welcome Bella," Sue said graciously. "I think I'll give it another try while we have time."

She and Charlie went back to the dance floor and I looked for Edward who was almost instantly at my side.

"I missed you," he said.

I just smiled and watched the dancers on the floor. I hadn't really talked to any of the Cullens besides Edward all evening. Rosalie and Emmett, Japser and Alice, even Carlisle and Esme were dancing with so much grace and technique, it seemed like a scene from a Hollywood movie. The beauty of them all still took my breath away. I rarely saw Carlisle and Esme look at each other with such passion and love, but they seemed to forget everyone else but each other. I couldn't help think that the new treaty, the danger we'd all faced being gone, and even Charlie knowing everything all helped in putting them at ease. They were able to relax from their careful façade, and just enjoy themselves. It made me so glad in my heart.

As the party wore on, we went through all the required elements of the reception, the toasts and the cake. I began to look at the faces gathered, my family, both vampire and human. I started to go over all the things we had gone through, all the obstacles we had had to overcome to get here. I realized that despite all of that, despite all my challenges over the last few weeks and days that had caused me grief and regret, I really had so much to be thankful for, so much to protect and cherish. I tried to think about where it had all begun, that first day when I looked into the dark eyes of the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. I thought about the danger, the excitement, the passion and the love we had shared. My eyes settled on that face gazing down at me.

Edward smiled that same crooked smile that was so much a part of my world, and asked "What Bella? What is it?"

I kissed him gently, and said, "I love you Edward, that's all, I love you."

"And I love you," he answered.

I continued to look into his eyes when the announcement came that the newlyweds would be leaving soon.

Jacob and Leah were headed to the new house. Jacob didn't feel comfortable going any great distance from the pack, so the new house was perfect. It was very satisfying knowing that Jacob and Leah would be spending their honeymoon in their new home.

Charlie and Sue opted to spend a few days in Seattle. I knew nothing would keep Charlie away from work for very long, and Sue knew it too. She loved him for who he was, the only way to love Charlie.

I hugged Jacob and Leah, and promised to see them as soon as they felt like company. Then Charlie and Sue, and told Charlie how much I loved him, and to take care of Sue. He had tears in his eyes and was so overcome, he just hugged me back and ducked in the car. Sue had it a little more together and said, "We'll call when we get back sweetheart." I nodded and let her go.

As the newlyweds left, we threw rice and wished them good luck. Alice of course had coaxed the younger pack members including Caleb to plaster their cars with shaving cream and old shoes. It was a preposterous sight, but it was effectively festive. Once both couples were gone, the party revved up again. People were dancing, eating, and talking into the early hours of the morning. Finally the crowds began to thin out, and eventually it was over. Alice had crews coming later that day to clean up and haul everything away. Per Jacob and Leah's request, the leftover food would be taken to Billy's, then divided among the people.

The family got in their cars to head home, but I asked Edward if we could walk for a while.

"You don't need to sleep?" He asked.

"Not yet," I answered.


	32. Epilogue

Epilogue

We walked along the beach hand in hand and came to Jacob's and my driftwood tree. I sat down and Edward joined me.

I looked out at the dark ocean rolling in to shore, churning up foam and leaving it behind on the sand. I looked up at the sky and to my surprise the clouds were broken in different places revealing a million diamond like stars shining brightly. I could feel Edward's eyes on me and it gave me comfort.

"What are you thinking?" he asked for what seemed like the thousandth time since I'd known him.

I smiled and said, "This was our tree, Jacob's and mine. We used to come and sit here and talk for hours."

"Yes," Edward said, "I think I remember seeing this place in his thoughts once or twice."

"He was thinking of me then," I owned. Edward nodded. "But I only thought of you." I added, "I've always thought of you. Even when I tried to think of Jacob I couldn't, it was always you Edward."

Edward just nodded and pulled me into his arms.

As we sat and watched the ocean come in, I began again to try to remember everything that had happened since that first day in biology. Then I started to try to think back before I even came to Forks, and I realized something. All of my memories before I came to live with Charlie seemed very distant, almost like a long dream that was becoming harder to remember. Edward had said that human memories fade, but I didn't like the idea of losing them. I decided I wasn't going to.

"Edward, can we go home now?" I asked.

"Whatever you want love," he answered.

The family had left the Volvo for us, so it took very little time to get there. I went upstairs to our bedroom, found some paper and a pen, and was about to start writing when Edward lifted me up against his chest and asked, "Do you think you could do whatever it is your about to do a little later?"

I let the pen and paper drop where we stood, and threw my arms around his neck and crushed my lips to his. It was the only answer he needed. We spent the next few hours in a delicious blur of passion and ecstasy.

The morning was overcast, but like the night before, the patches of clouds were broken in places allowing the sun to blaze through.

Edward nuzzled my neck and said, "How would you like to go to our meadow today?"

Our meadow was almost sacred to me, and any chance to go there in the sunshine was irresistible.

"I would love that Edward," I said, "but I would like to take just a little while to write if you don't mind waiting a bit?"

"Not at all," he said, "I actually have some music rolling around in my head, I'd like to play and perhaps get on paper. Oh and as far as the writing goes, let me help with that."

He pulled a box out from under the bed, and handed it to me. "This was going to be one of your Christmas gifts, but since you mentioned writing, I thought it might be more useful now."

I felt guilty not having even thought about Christmas gifts, but I let it go and opened the box. Inside was a beautiful green journal, and a set of writing pens. The journal was thick, and the covering felt like velvet. In the middle was a large green stone that looked suspiciously real. Etched into the stone were the initials BC.

"Oh Edward," I crooned, "It's so beautiful. Thank you so much."

"You're beautiful love, and you're welcome. I'll leave you to your writing and I'll be downstairs when you want to go."

He popped into the closet and was dressed almost instantly, and began to walk out the door. As I watched him he stopped and looked back at me and smiled, and I couldn't help myself. I leapt into his arms, and kissed him, clinging to him, pulling my fingers through his bronze locks, and trying to fill my lungs with his very essence. He smiled and said as he carried me back to the bed, "we could postpone everything for a few more hours if you'd like?"

I shook my head, and said, "No, I do need to write some things down."

He laughed and said, "I'll just be downstairs love."

I could have called him back again, but I knew I wouldn't be able to resist postponing things a second time. I smiled and waved him out the door.

I opened the beautiful journal and started writing. An hour later I had filled several dozen pages.

We were running through the trees heading for our meadow, feeling the wind on our faces and exhilaration of the trees going past. In a very short time, we were at the edge of the meadow, the sun bathing it in light. We walked into the middle and sat down. Eventually as was his habit, Edward laid back. At first, I just watched him his eyes closed soaking up the sun with. I remembered the first time he brought me here. So much had happened in just two short years, and I wondered what things would come in the infinite years ahead of us. I laid down next to him, propped my head on my hand and started playing with his bronze hair, running my hand through it's depths, and twirling small tresses around my fingers. Edward just smiled, grabbed my hand, kissed it, and held it to his chest. I'd brought the journal, so I rolled onto my stomach, leaving my hand on Edwards chest. I used the other hand to turn the first page of the journal and began to read what I had written. I was by no means complete. I had written about being with Charlie and Renee in the little house in Forks. I relied upon the stories my parents had told me about their time together when I was a baby. I went onto my time with Renee growing up. I had gotten through third grade, before stopping to come to the meadow. Edward rolled onto his stomach to join me in reading.

"It's about you," he said pleased.

"I don't want to forget my life before with Renee and Charlie, and I feel like I'm starting to."

"It happens," he said with regret.

"Well this way I'll always be able to remember."

"Then I can read everything about your life right?" He asked.

"Whenever you like." I said.

Edward turned to the first page of the journal and asked, "Shakespeare?"

I nodded. "I read this in Denali at Kate's."

"Why did you start with this love?" He asked.

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Because it's us Edward, you and me, our love."

I hadn't occurred to me when I read it in Denali, but it was so descriptive of Edward's and my love for one another. Through everything we'd been through, everything that had tried to tear us apart, even ourselves; our love had weathered every storm that had come. It could not be taken from us, it could not be broken, it would never change. It had withstood all the trials and dangers we had faced, and was stronger than ever.

Edward took my chin and lifted my lips to his, then asked. "May I?"

I nodded, and rolled on my back and looked at the eyes that held my world in them. They were honey amber fire, and had me in their spell, and I couldn't look away.

Then Edward's musical voice began to recite the sonnet…and I immediately realized his eyes never left mine.

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds, admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters when, it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come; love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

He put the journal down and pulled me tightly to him and whispered, "You're right Bella, it is us."


End file.
